


Worst Field Trip Ever

by Destiny_Smasher



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Cover Art, Crush, F/M, Fanart, Female Friendship, First Crush, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Puberty, Puppy Love, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-11-26 00:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 91,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiny_Smasher/pseuds/Destiny_Smasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toph recalled what she had told herself not long ago. He'd said, "I'm just one guy. I can only do so much here." She'd responded within her mind, 'That's good enough for me, Sokka.' Now she found herself wondering if she had been kidding herself. Maybe that wasn't good enough.<br/>(Some strong language)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tactful Retreat

**Author's Note:**

> Original Publication: July 16th, 2010  
> Original Date of Story's Completion: October 26th, 2010
> 
> (I'm brand new to AO3, and my fanworks almost always involve art that attaches to them, but I'm not entirely certain of the best way to incorporate this, so if anyone has information/advice on the best way to do this, I'd appreciate it!)
> 
> This is supposed to be a kind of ode to the period of time in our lives when we deal with 'puppy love' and we're starting to learn more about who we are as people and what we care about. This one's my oldest Avatar work, being the first project I wrote using these characters. As such, it's a bit amateurish and I'm a little embarrassed by parts of it, but have fun if you give it a read, and I hope it's enjoyable enough.

__  
[Worst Field Trip Ever (Cover Art)](http://maivry.deviantart.com/art/Worst-Field-Trip-Ever-325137800) by *[Maivry](http://maivry.deviantart.com/) on [deviantART](http://www.deviantart.com) \- Commissioned for this story

* * *

 

_Thump._

_Swiswiswiswiswi-thatch._

Boomerang Jr.

"Ha! Didja see that?"

She knew that voice well. She tapped her feet a few times into the grass to reassociate herself with her surroundings as she felt them approach.

_Thip thip thip._  
 _Tap tap tap._

It was Meathead and his girlfriend.

He'd knocked a fruit from the tree she had been resting against, startling her from her light nap when it had hit the ground. She yawned groggily, climbing to her feet and stretching out her limbs.

She felt his weight shift as he bent down to grab the fruit he'd knocked loose. She gave the ground a light stomp as she walked around the tree to meet them. The earth beneath the fruit jumped briefly, popping the food into the boy's forehead before landing near the tree's thick trunk.

He was in too much of a state of shock to even cry out in pain as he normally would. She lamented his lack of pouting.

"Wh-?" was about all he could muster as his companion snickered.

"Good job, Sokka," she mocked. "I thought you were an expert hunter."

Before the boy could calculate the most logical explanation for possessed fruit, the one who had tossed the fruit at his head flashed him a devilish smirk.

"Ha ha." His sarcastic laugh spread her grin wider. "Ya got me, Toph," he admitted, rubbing his knuckle into her head before retrieving his prize.

"Wow, that was earthbending?" his girlfriend mused. "I couldn't even tell..."

Toph folded her arms over her chest with pride.

"Yep, Toph's a sneaky one," Sokka confirmed as he ruffled her hair a bit. She appreciated the texture of his rough, slender fingers. They suited him: bony and lanky but with a tough skin. She jabbed him in the side with a sharp punch, which he absorbed with more confidence than she was used to. She regretted having not punched harder. She sensed his weight bending down and as he presented his item to his love in a most dramatic fashion.

"Madame Suki," he bellowed boldly. "I hath struck down the fiersome tree spirit, survived the onslaught of its stone golem guardian, and present thee with thine treasure...the Fruit of Knowledge..." Both girls giggled at his fantastical interpretation.

Stone Golem, huh? That's pretty bad-ass...There's nickname potential there.

"Ohhh," Suki wooed, holding her hand to her head. "Chief _Sokka_ , how _noble_ of you to risk your life for the sake of my kingdom! Surely you struggled in this epic quest."

Sokka nonchalantly dropped the act. _Spiff,_ the fruit hit Suki before tumbling to the ground.

"Well, I mean, it wasn't a _struggle_ for a mighty warrior such as myself," Sokka bragged.

"Why'd ya run away from that Stone Golem, then?" Toph teased with a smirk.

"Sometimes a tactful retreat is the path to victory," Sokka pointed out in that funny way of his - she couldn't tell by the sound of his voice if he was dead serious, overembellishing, or some combination thereof.

"Why were you all the way out here by yourself, Toph?" Suki wondered. "We were wondering where you'd gone. It's past nightfall."

Toph shrugged and blew her hair from her face, slightly irked. What did it matter? It was her business. She must've been napping longer than she had thought. She could detect the crisp, chilled air of night passing over her, the clean scent of grassy hills reminding her of where she was.

"Just needed a break from everyone, I guess," Toph admitted bluntly, strutting past them with her arms wrapped around her head.

"Everyone needs some time to themselves," Sokka sagely acknowledged/.

"Especially when they're traveling with a group of crazy people," Toph jabbed, receiving another snicker from Suki. That girl was in a very laughable mood tonight, wasn't she?

She felt the two warriors approach the tree and the signature sound of Boomerang (Jr.) as it knocked another fruit off. Toph headed back to camp on her own as they continued to make jokes. They didn't ask her if she knew where she was going, and this inflated her spirit a little bit.

* * *

_Crackle crack pop._  
 _Klok. Fwoosh._  
 _Crackle snap-snap crack._

_Tip tip tip.  
_ Twinkletoes.

"Hey, Toph, what's up?"

The voice with the slight lisp welcomed them to their camp. She replied, expressionless, with a shrug.

"Where were you?"

There was no concern in Aang's voice, no worry - just as had been the case with Sokka and Suki. For some reason she was feeling specifically grateful about this today, though she didn't see what difference it made to them where she was.

"Just taking a little nap, Twinkletoes," she explained, passing him by. With each step she took she felt a little more warmth on her face. The tents, the pile of firewood, the _tiff-tiff-tiff_ of Katara's footsteps, the hulking bison...It was making her feel nostalgic. This way of life was no longer necessary, and she couldn't help but wonder how much longer it'd last. They had decided to leave Ba Sing Se and take trip across the southern edge of the Earth Kingdom - do some soul searching, figure out what they wanted to do with themselves now that everything that had brought them together was over.

When this trip was done, where would they all go? Their excuse for traveling together had been fulfilled. The thought kind of scared Toph. She'd grown so accustomed to life in the open world, she wasn't sure what she'd end up doing. She hadn't thought that far ahead - on purpose.

"Oh, hey, Toph," Katara's soft, relaxed tone chimed. "Did you enjoy your little hike?"

"Eh, it was all right," Toph replied, plopping herself down near the flame, extending her feet out. The world blurred with no feet to sense things but the warmth was comforting. She heard another log get dropped into the fire and delighted in the crackling, snapping sounds.

She had once asked her friends why people found campfires so fascinating to look at. They tried to explain how it had a mesmerising kind of effect - that it was alive, dancing a subtle dance. It hypnotised you into a state of near meditation. While she couldn't comprehend exactly what this was like, she was certain she felt the same kind of mental sensation when she sat before one. That lively energy came through in its sounds, its heat.

"Did you run into Sokka and Suki?" Katara wondered.

"Yea," Toph replied dismissively, "those two love birds were gathering some food."

"Great, I'm starving," Aang muttered. She felt the _skish-skish_ of his palms rubbing together and the slight breeze he created. She detected a spike in his heartbeat, as if he had become suddenly aware of something terrifying.

"Wait...Were they hunting animals?" he checked nervously. Toph's brows furrowed a bit.

"No, Twinkletoes," she grumbled. "They were getting fruit. Apple-Mangoes I think."

_Shlurp-smack._

Man, Aang, do you have to lick your lips so damn loud? Tryin' to listen to the fire, here...

"Everything all right, Toph?" Katara prodded casually. Toph cocked an eyebrow.

"Uhhhh, yea, why?" she spat out. What did it take to get some peace and quiet and appreciate a campfire? For the love of Spirits, it was no wonder she'd left for some time alone.

"I don't know, you just seem..." Katara fumbled for a tactful word. "...Well, it just seems like you're in a bad mood lately, is all." Toph didn't detect any hostility in Katara's tone, and now that she'd mentioned it, maybe she _was_ in a bad mood.

Aang chuckled in spite of the concern.

"Katara, Toph's _always_ in a bad mood."

Toph grinned and sighed appreciatiely.

"Twinkletoes, you know me too well."

"I guess I shouldn't worry so much," Katara muttered thoughtfully.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._  
 _Thip. Thip. Thip._

"Here comes dinner," Toph announced as Sokka and Suki drew near.


	2. Wistful

The fire had been reduced a small pile of withering embers, and Toph was about finished absorbing their remnants of heat. She tucked her feet in and planted them on the ground, feeling a relaxed sonata of slowed heartbeats and gentle breaths. She had been falling asleep early for the past couple of days since their field trip had begun, failing to notice something. There were two tents: Sokka and Suki slept in one, their bodies flopped around each other, while Aang irregularly slept not on the open ground but in Katara's tent. Based on the vibrations, Katara's hand was planted on his chest.

Toph sat for a moment as a number of shaken thoughts were finally beginning to settle. It wasn't as if anyone had been hiding their realized feelings for each other, but something about the stark contrast of the busy Ba Sing Se and the isolated field made it painfully clear that in all of this, Toph was still sleeping with rocks as snuggle buddies.

Not tonight.

She stood up, leaving the fire to fizzle itself out, and found her way over to the bulging mass of flesh apart from the camp. It pulsated slowly with each large, drawing breath. When she reached it, she ran her hands through the thick mess of fur therapeutically, inhaling the unique scent. With a few twitches of her fingers, she slowly lifted a pillar of earth a few feet into the air, gently positioning herself so she could slip into the beast's saddle without disturbing him.

_"Chitterchitter-grahhh."_

"Shhh, it's just me, Momo," she whispered, settling down next to the grouchy creature. She scooped his half-asleep body up and laid down on her back, propping him onto her chest. She focused on the sensation his body produced.

_Ta-Tump ta-tump ta-tump._

It just wasn't the same as a human heart. Like Sokka's. Er, or Aang's. Or Katara's. But it was something. She considered for a moment how fascinating the heart was, pumping steadily like a drum come to life, all on its own. She shifted her focus to her own heartbeat.

_Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump._

She could manipulate the ground beneath her, create landslides from a mountain, and bend freaking _metal_ into a suit of armor around her, but there was no way to bend this lump of muscles, no way to direct the course of her blood, or change its speed. Her heart operated on its own without her consent. She simply had to work with it. And that kind of pissed her off.

* * *

**"Rrraaauuugghh..."**

Appa's groaning startled her awake, the vibrations quaking through her whole body, shocking it like a wave of icy water.

"Ah-wh-?"

"Top o' the _mornin'_ to ya, lass!" Sokka's voice jeered.

A clattering of objects getting tossed on board jerked her to attention to her side like another splash of ice.

"What the _hell_?" she growled as she felt Sokka's weight settle into Appa's saddle. "I was sleeping! Ya think you coulda been a little more gentle with the waking up?"

As Suki hopped inside, Sokka gave Toph a quizzical look.

"Well, geez, _someone_ woke up on the wrong side of the bison, didn't they?" he teased, flicking his finger into the side of her head. "Last I checked, 'gentle' isn't exactly what you're all about."

She sat with crossed arms but her frown chipped away a bit. He did have a point. The others clambered aboard, and Katara, without a word, sifted her strong but soft hands through Toph's hair, straightening out the loose ends she had disheveled in her sleep.

"So you thought Appa would help you get some beauty sleep, huh?" Katara joked as Aang disappeared, only to reappear upon Appa's enormous skull a second later.

"Seems to do the trick for Momo," she replied, letting her arms drop. "He was lonely up here last night, so I thought I'd keep him company." The creature in question glided onto her shoulder and gave her a lick on the cheek with his slippery, smooth tongue.

"Looks like he appreciated the thought," Katara concluded with a laugh.

_Whip-snap!_

"Yip-yip!"

And with that, the world vanished, shrinking into only a six-legged beast that tilted upward.

_Fwoooooooosh!_

"Wh-whoa!" Toph spat out. "We're leaving already?"

"It's midday, Sleeping Beauty," Sokka informed, settling himself down. Toph felt a bit of blood swell in her cheeks as Momo continued to lick at her, so she dismissed the lemur with a pat on the head. Sokka continued, "If we're gonna hit the waterfall by sundown we need to head off now."

"Oh," was all Toph had to say about the matter.

Gee, thanks for checking with _me_ about this, guys...

"We've spent so much time in the fire nation lately," Katara pointed out. "I can't wait to relax at a waterfall again."

"I can't wait to take you cliff diving," Aang added in complete contrast to the word 'relax.' The way he spoke made it clear he was directing that specifically at Katara.

"I'm sure that'll be quite an experience," she agreed. Toph could feel Katara's heart's pace pick up for a moment. With the rest of the world a blank, everyone's bodies became more clear. She could feel Sokka and Suki's bodies sitting extremely close, and it was hard to distinguish exactly where one or the other was for a moment, as they had their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders. Some focus helped her distinguish where their pulses differentiated. She couldn't make out what they were whispering from all of the rushing wind, but they kissed briefly. Something about their embrace irked her. Couldn't they keep all that mushy stuff to themselves?

"Toph?"

That stinging, warm feeling on her face had returned without her realizing it until Katara had called to her. She could feel the girl's weight crawling over to her side of the bison's back.

"What?" she bluntly replied, probably more irritably than she'd meant it.

"What's wrong?" Katara asked, quieter this time.

"Why do you think something's wrong?" Toph grumbled, flopping her hand in her palm, elbow resting on the saddle's edge. "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine. _Geez._ Stop being such a worrywart."

She could feel Katara's breath puff out a quick exhale - a silent laugh - before the girl's hand rested on her shoulder. Part of Toph felt like smacking it away but something else fought the urge off. She appreciated the squeezing sensation she received on her arm in condolence. Receiving a comforting gesture was making her doubt her own dismissive mood.

"Well, all right," Katara said politely. "If you need a girl talk...I'm always here." She rubbed her palm back and forth a couple of times before calmly withdrawing her contact.

"I know," Toph muttered, her face directed off into the fuzzy expanse of whirls and swooshing wind. "Thanks," she added wistfully.


	3. Heavy

_Sssssssssssss..._   
**_SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH..._ **   
_Kaaaaaaahhhh..._

Waterfalls never ceased to be jarring. They made so much _noise_ , and they caused the earth to tremble constantly. Being near one was an ever present overload on the senses. It made it difficult to focus on details and beyond that, it was just freaking annoying.

"Hey, aren't ya gonna go swimming with us?" Sokka asked Toph loudly as the gang started flinging themselves into the deep pool of water.

"Uhhh, hello? I can't _swim_ , Meathead, remember?" Toph proclaimed irritably, spreading her arms wide. Everything had to be spoken louder than usual to cut through the infernal racket.

"Er, right," Sokka stumbled. "Well, why don't you join us, anyway? You could just wade around or something. Cool off, take a break, get clean."

"No thanks," she replied flatly.  
Ew. Clean?

"Come on, Toph," Suki insisted, peeling off her own shoes. "Everyone else is. We don't you to be left out." An astronomical splash cut through the noise. That had to be Appa diving in.

"Yea," Sokka agreed, tapping his fist into his palm with determination. "I'll give you a cow-pig-back ride. It'll be fun! Come _aahhhn_!" She could feel his weight bending around - he was likely moving in some bizarre manner.

Toph found herself opening up to the idea at Sokka's coaxing. Maybe they were right and she just needed to lighten up a bit. Within a couple of minutes she had changed into clothes suited for swimming, and she found herself immediately regretting the decision when they hit the water.

"Why did I let you convince me to do this?" she cried in anguish as she clutched to Sokka's tough skin for dear life. It was hard to appreciate the textural sensation through the water and the splashing and noise and - for the love of Spirits, everyone was probably watching her, weren't they? Petrified, stuck to Sokka like a freaking leach in a sea of haze and emptiness beyond. She couldn't really make out where anyone was in the cloud or what they were doing.

"Stop being such a grump, Toph," Sokka advised with a chuckle. "It's not that bad."

"You're flying a-all over the place a-and I'm all shaking around...I feel like I'm gonna fall any second!" She clearly was not entirely comfortable with the situation, clinging so tightly her chin was pressed into Sokka's tough shoulder blade. He instantly calmed at her outburst and slowed down.

"Oh, sorry, Your Rockiness," he apologized half jokingly. "That better?" He'd adjusted his sprint-swimming to a gentle butterfly stroke. She continued to grip him tightly, partially out of instinctive fear, but also out of admiration of his form now that she could notice the details. The way his muscles flexed and moved as his limbs stretched open and pulled close, the way his chest expanded and contracted with each breath, the rushing _Ta-Thump Ta-Thump_ of his exercising heart...it all washed together, reminding her of that soothing campfire feeling. Her face even felt as warm as if she were by a fire - wait.  
 _Damnit._

"Y-yea," she finally answered after a moment, realizing that she should loosen her grip a bit. "Th-that's fine...This is cool?" The last comment came out sounding more like a question than she'd intended.

"Phew!" Sokka sighed out. "Man, now I know how Appa feels with us on his back all the time!"

"You calling me fat?" Toph jabbed.

"No," Sokka answered casually. "I'm calling you _heavy_!"

"Hey!" She slammed a knee into his lower back and the two laughed in spite of their blunt insults. A minute or two passed and she could feel the turbulence increase as Sokka's body vibrated from the pressure of the moving water. They were getting closer to the waterfall. Her wet hands and feet were slipping from his slickened body, and before she could figure out what had happened, he'd vanished entirely. All sound completely rearranged into an impactful, threatening hum.

The world around her was just one big blur with no air, and she struggled to do something anything. She knew there was earth somewhere below her but couldn't tell which way was down, and she couldn't bend something she couldn't detect. It was terrifying. It lasted for only a couple of seconds, and then Sokka was around her again. She could feel the water rush down past her whole body for another second or two before they broke the surface.

She gasped and choked through the light mist as the thundering sounds of the somewhat nearby waterfall immediately replaced that ominous hum.

"Whoa, hey! I gotcha, I gotcha," Sokka shouted out through the sound, trying to settle her down. He held her back against his chest, wading along with one arm while gripping her with the other. She grasped his lanky arm as she caught her breath, passing through the rough water until it became smooth. He hoisted her up and planted her on the stone shore, then gave her an affection but rough pat on the head.

"Mmmmaybe that wasn't such a good idea. Sorry about that, Toph. You OK?"

A wide grin exploded onto her face and she pumped her fists into the air and kicked her feet through the water, splashing it around wildly.

"Are you _kidding_? That was awesome! Can you drop me in the water _again_?"

Sokka belted out a nervous chuckle. She couldn't make out what he was doing through the water.

"I didn't _mean_ to drop you, Toph, that was an accident, ya lunatic!" The end of his sentence had that friendly mockery to it that Sokka seemed to wear almost constantly. Even so, she could tell by his tone that he didn't actually find it all that funny. He seemed somewhat mentally drained. Poor guy, she must've worried him. This nagging feeling made her want to worry him some more. That would be entertaining.

"Anyway, are you all right now, Rocky? You don't need to be so embarrassed, everyone understands you can't-"

"I'm fine, Snoozles. Seriously."  
Embarrassed? What's he talking about?

She could hear Suki taunting him from afar to join her.

"If you say so," he replied to Toph as he started splashing off. "You dry off and relax for a bit!"

"Yep!"

She drummed her fingers along the slimy stones.

No one around, they must all still be in the water.

She took a deep, heavy sigh and plucked out the tie from her bunned mess of wet hair. She laid back onto the warm, damp stone, letting her hair flail out everywhere, continuing to kick her feet around in the water for the sheer aesthetic of it. Her mind kept clinging to the sensations she had just experienced, specifically the ones involving muscle-flexing and heartbeating.

Oh. Right. Warm face. Blushing. Embarrassment. Crap. _Urgh._


	4. God Amongst Birds

"Yea, yea, she's fine. Toph's a tough cookie," Sokka assured Suki, who had been worried given the accident that had occurred. She was the one who had insisted that Toph join them in the first place, after all.

"Speaking of Toph, where'd she go this time?" Aang wondered, quick-drying himself off with a mini tornado.

"I saw her and Momo up near the top of the waterfall," Katara answered as she awaited her own drying by Aang's bending.

"That seemed like a very strange experience for her," Suki observed. "She could've been hurt, but...She just thought it was _fun_. She's quite an odd girl, isn't she?"

"You have to understand," Aang explained, "Toph experiences everything differently than we do. It's practically impossible for us to really understand what things like that feel like."

"I know," Suki complied. "I just feel kind of bad. She probably feels left out of a lot of things."

"Maybe so," Aang acknowledged, "But sometimes _I_ feel left out because I can't do the kinds of things _she_ can. She's not any worse off than the rest of us, she's just different. Liiiike...You. Or Sokka."

"Huh? Whuzzat?" Sokka was fumbling around, trying to get into his dry pants.

"Katara and I can bend elements - you two can't. But you've both learned to interact with the world in your own way, with tools and muscles. I couldn't understand exactly what it feels like to fight with a sword the way you can, Sokka, or even how your mind works, with all of the plans you come up with."

"Well, my mind _does_ operate on its own plane of existence, doesn't it?" Sokka poked at his skull with pride, speaking in his 'intelligent' accent, as he put it. Suki giggled and slapped his shoulder.

"Or Suki," Aang continued, "When you jump, and flip all around-" He spun his arms around with a serious look on his face. "-you're doing it all on your own. You're not relying on something else to lift you up or hit the opponent - like I do - you're doing it completely by yourself with tools that become a part of your arms. When I bend, it feels sort of like that, like I'm...kind of asking the world to do stuff for me, you know? But you don't ask for anything, you just do it yourself."

"Aw, thanks, Aang," Suki murmured. "I guess I never thought of it that way..."

"Hey, deep mind-changing stuff," Aang bragged with a joking grin and a shrug. "It's what I do."

Katara snickered, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Yea, when you're not showing off, Mr. Avatar."

"Spirits, I have get used to you two doing that stuff out in the open now, don't I?" Sokka loudly objected as he made his way to their camping equipment offshore. "Aren't you monks supposed to exercise, like, self-control, and all that?"

"Well, _gee_ , Sokka," Katara mocked, "Based on how you act with Suki, I'm surprised it bothers you so much."

The two girls exchanged sly grins.

"Yea," Suki joked, "Maybe we should just all act civil and restrain ourselves so we can focus our energies in more productive ways."

"Baaaahhhh," Sokka groaned in response, admitting defeat. Suki went to catch up with him and he neared the tents.

"Haha, poor Toph," Aang muttered, "She has to _put up_ with all of us, huh?"

Katara felt like a needle punctured her brain when he said this. He'd clearly meant it in a comical manner, but it made her doubts click into place and make sense. Maybe this was exactly why Toph was spending so much time alone and acting a little...off.

As Aang air-balled his way around, Katara found herself feeling like the only person who had the sensibilities to see through the cracks in Toph's thick wall.

Sokka sifted through their equipment and retrieved Boomerang Jr., the tool he'd been given by his father after the war, and the affectionately named Steelface, his replacement sword. It wasn't made of meteor rock, but it got the job done.

He went to go give Appa some attention as the recently dried beast relaxed in the evening sun, content with chewing on the grass beneath his feet.

"Hey, there, Pal, how ya doin'?" He roughly rubbed his hand on the bison's forehead. A red hawk with piercing eyes of amber was perched on his right tusk, nobly staring at Sokka. If birds could beam pride, this one was certainly doing it.

"Oh, hey, there, Hawky," Sokka casually greeted in the same manner he just had Appa. "How have things been, Bud?" As he spun around to begin his hunt for dinner, he paused. Something was different than usual. He turned around slowly, scratching his chin.

"Whaaa?" he cried in realization. _"Hawky?"_ He instantly grabbed the bird and crushed it into his chest, restraining its awkward struggling. "Oh, Hawky, you little _devil_ ," he growled merrily. "You came back, Buddy!"

"Ummm," Suki began, utterly confused. "Sokka, why are you choking that bird?"

Sokka's eyes popped open wide in indignation.

"Choking? I'm _loving_ him!" He opened up his arms and held out the bird, its feathers ruffled. It was convulsing, from the look of it, gasping for air. "It's _Hawky_!" Sokka cheered, utterly beaming. "Only the best bird there ever _was_!"

Suki giggled at his ridiculous enthusiasm, one of the reasons she had grown to admire him so much. She scooped the bird from Sokka's extended arms and began stroking it gently in an attempt to calm it down.

"I see," she murmured slowly. "You two are close?"

Sokka glared at her with a narrow-eyed disgust.

"As close as man and bird can _ever be_ ," he seethed, attacking the doubt in her voice.

"OK, all right," she gave in, shaking her head with a smile. "Where has he been this whole time, then?"

Those narrowed eyes of his popped open wide.

"Oh! Eh, um, well, we sent him off to deliver a letter, of course." He jabbed his finger at the cylindrical container strapped to Hawky's body. "To...uh..." He scratched his head. Suki's face dulled.

"As close as a man and bird can ever be, huh?" she mused. "And you don't even remember where you sent him?"

"W-well, _I_ wasn't the one who wrote the letter!" he protested.

"I was," Katara announced, arms folded pensively. "Remember when you guys were doing all of those scams with Toph?"

"Ohhh yea, that was _great_ ," Sokka chuckled. "That's where we got the money to buy good ol' Hawky here in the first place." He scratched the bird's chin as it nuzzled Suki's face. Katara continued.

"Toph was feeling bad about leaving her parents, so I wrote a letter for her and we used Hawky to send it to them."

"Riiight," Sokka mumbled. It was hard to tell if he actually recalled this happening or was just going with it.

"Oh, yea," Aang groaned as he floated down onto Appa's head. His attitude was decidedly negative at the thought of Toph's parents.

"How did he find us?" Katara wondered, the thought suddenly striking her.

"How did he know where her parents were?" Suki further probed. They both stared at Sokka expectantly. He flailed his palms around in defense.

"Wh-? Pff! How should I know? I just told him where to go and off he went." He fluttered his hand off into the air.

Aang proposed a theory. "Maybe he has a kind of special link to the Spirit world and can let Spirits guide-"

"La-dee-dah," Sokka interrupted. "Spirit World mumbo jumbo, OK. Or _maybe_ it's just because Hawky is a God amongst birds."

Everyone stared at the still somewhat disheveled animal as it cocked its head to the side, staring in Sokka's direction.

"In...either case," Katara proceeded, "we should see if her parents left her a reply."

Sokka sighed and shook his head.

"Uh, Katara? Why would they write to Toph? She can't _read_."

She simply stared at him for a moment before rolling her eyes.

"I'm just _kidding_ ," he quickly spat to deflect her dagger glare. "Geez, what are you so worked up about?"

Katara popped open the lid on Hawky's satchel and pulled out a small scroll. She waved it at Sokka's face, pointing out the wax seal holding it together - a boar with wings.

"This is important," she clarified. "Toph acts like she doesn't care, but trust me, she's still upset about what happened with her parents. This could help clear everything up for her."

"Orrrr it could be completely demoralizing," Sokka objected, lifting his eyebrows solemnly.

Katara pursed her lip at him, fist clenched. She raised the scroll up again, eyes bursting with some kind of counterpoint, but one didn't come. She sighed and loosened her body.

"You might be right," she admitted. "But do you really need to be so pessimistic about this?"

Everyone else in the group, even Suki, gave Katara a perplexed look.

"Uhh...Yea? It's kind of my thing," he bluntly replied, picking wax from his ear.

"What about the sarcasm?" Aang added. "And eating meat?"

"That, too," Sokka agreed. "Also important." He flicked the wax to the ground.

"And being strategic," Suki added with a grin. He bashfully shrugged.

"Well, ya know..." His pitch steered up as he said this, his eyes squinting with pride.

"Anyway," Katara sighed out in exasperation. "We're going off track here." She whipped out some water from her waist jug and sharpened it into one light but agile slash, tearing the seal apart.

"What are you doing, Katara?" Aang suspiciously questioned.

"I'm going to read it," she plainly responded, rolling open the scroll, its paper clean and neat. "To Whom It May Concern," she began aloud.

"Ohhhh _man_ ," Sokka blurted. "'To Whom It May Concern?' This is bad..."

Katara's eyes bounced from the letter to his gloomy face.

" _What?_ " she spat. "You don't even know what it-"

"'To Whom It May Concern' is _never_ a good start," Sokka warned sternly.

Aang leaped from Appa's head to Katara's side. The bison let out a short, cranky moan.

"Appa knows it's a bad idea," Aang taunted, nodding his head to the lovable beast.

"A bad idea?" Katara snapped. "Why?"

Aang could see the anger lighting up in her eyes and raised his palm in an attempt to calm her.

"It's just...That letter wasn't written to us and-"

"Ah-ah!" Katara interjected, spreading the very formalized letter in front of Aang's face. "See? 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

Aang sighed and scratched at his ear sheepishly.

"It concerns _me_ ," Katara tartly expressed.

"You know what I _mean_ ," Aang grumbled with a huff, but Katara continued to drive it home.

"I just think it'd be a good idea if we read it first," she explained matter-of-factly, "just so we can be prepared."

A rumbling startled them all, directing their attention to the rocky cliffside their camp was set up against.

"What are we needing to prepare for?" Toph's voice inquired as her small, stout frame wandered out of a hole she'd created in the wall. With a flick of the wrists, she sealed it back up and turned her attention to the group. She was still in her bathing suit, her hair tucked into a bunch. A trembling Momo who had been clinging to her shoulder cried out in relief as he soared off, appreciating the freedom of fresh air once again.

Everyone froze up like statues, their glances darting to one another in a panic.


	5. To Whom It May Concern

"Uh...Well, this seems bad," Toph mumbled awkwardly, sensing the tension in their body signals. "What's up with all you guys?" She reached the group and frowned at no one in particular. "Seriously," she reiterated with a sharp tone. Suddenly, her expression perked up into confusion when she realized there was an extra heartbeat present.

"Wait." She pointed a finger toward Suki. "What're you holding? Is it dinner?" A hungry smile crawled onto her face.

Sokka gasped in terror and snatched the bird away from Suki, clutching it tightly, like a mother protecting its child.

" _How dare you_ ," he whispered viciously. "Don't listen to her, Hawky," he comforted, continuing to crush the bird inadvertently. It squawked in agony. "Oh, I know, she's a _terror_."

Toph relished the comment, but her face contorted back into a perplexed mess immediately thereafter.

"Hawky?" she blurted. "Pfff!" A few giggles later, she asked, "Who's that? You caught a bird? Is it your pet?"

" _Excuse_ me?" Sokka growled, holding out Hawky's near crippled form. "You don't recognize his heartbeat?"

Toph shrugged but smirked at the boy's melodrama.

"Hawky's heart beats with the strength of one hundred birds!" boldly declared the passionate young man. Hawky screeched a whimpering screech.

"Um-kaaay," Toph muttered slowly, her lower lip propped out, hands on her hips. "What about him?"

"He's the delivery bird we used to send that letter to your parents," Katara explained, cutting to the chase. She shook the open letter a bit so Toph could hear it. Her expression went slack-jawed and her eyes quivered with shock.

"Is-is that...?" she sputtered out, arms dropping to her sides.

"It has the Bei Fong seal on it," Aang explained. "We think it's from your parents." He cast a glance at Katara, watching her eyes scanning over the words frantically. He frowned. "But we haven't read it yet 'cuz we were waiting for you to get back." Katara's expression flashed with embarrassment.

Everyone's eyes were on Toph's. They stared blankly into space, but overflowed with fear and apprehension. She could feel it in their heartbeats: they were nervous. _Why_ were they nervous? That just made her feel worse.

"Well?" Toph growled impatiently. "I'm back now. Ya gonna read it, or what?"

Katara rolled the letter back up, eyes petrified. "W-well, what's the rush? I mean, maybe we should get some dinner first and-"

_Fssss-wapple-tfft._

Aang had airbended the scroll from Katara's hand into his own, spreading it open on the way over.

"I'll read it," he announced, shooting his girlfriend a stubborn glance of disapproval.

Katara avoided his gaze and her insides churned as she stared at the subtle pleading in Toph's expression, her hands fidgeting together. Aang began his reading solemnly and loudly.

"To Whom It May Concern,

The Bei Fong Family is offended that the fiends who kidnapped their daughter would dare to pass off this letter as one written by her. Toph cannot write, so what reason do they have to believe these words are truly hers?"

Sokka gave Katara a look that said, _Told ya so._ Katara cast her gaze back on Toph, whose brows twisted with perplexity. Aang grimaced but went on. This felt like forcing a sea slug down his throat, only in reverse.

"Furthermore, the words written in this letter are those of a rebel, not the courteous daughter they once had. The Bei Fong Family feels that the girl they once loved and cared for has been corrupted into a monster who cheats townsfolk of their money and who viciously uses the powers of nature to bring harm to others, even those who are sent to return her home safely."

Toph's fists were tight and shaking, her furrowed brows quivering. She felt her insides contort into a knot, her heart skip, her face flush with warmth and water trickle down her face. Her body seemed to be entirely out of her control, and it infuriated her on top of everything else. Pebbles and grains of dirt by her feet started to skitter around her.

Katara planted her palm on her forehead and bit her lip. She turned to Sokka, who wore a look of defeat, his arms crossed sagely. Suki didn't seem to know quite how to react to the whole situation. Katara faced Aang again, her eyes begging him to stop. But those serious eyes of his sparked with a sense of duty, the same glow she admired them for, and she knew he had to finish reading. She knew what Aang knew: Toph had to hear everything it said.

"Clearly she is an enemy of the state, as it has been reported that she has escaped to enemy territory and learned to bend metal. Such a demonic skill was surely bred by the Fire Nation she fled to."

"They must have written this before the war ended," Sokka observed aloud, his voice doused in melancholy.

Katara took a step toward Toph, quickly assuring, "Aang can stop reading if you don't-"

"Keep going," Toph commanded, turning away from the group as she wiped at her face. Her legs felt like rubber and her arms trembled with anger.

Aang took a deep breath before finishing the letter.

"All of this evidence suggests that Toph has cast away her heritage and all honor her family once possessed. She is no longer a member of the Bei Fong Family and her presence amongst them will be considered a threat."

Aang's dutiful look had been replaced with one of sorrow. He knew he'd done the right thing but he didn't feel very good about it.

"It ends there with the Bei Fong seal," he concluded, rolling the scroll up and handing it to Toph from the side. Her whole body was quaking like the very earth she rumbled every day. She sniffled and extended her arm to accept the letter. She immediately cast it to the ground and lifted her foot up, a slab of tightened earth clumped onto it like a shoe, and crushed the piece of paper. She twisted her ankle around, gnashing it into a pulp, then let the dirt around her foot collapse, burying it beneath.

"I knew it," she whispered. "I knew this would happen. I can't believe I let you guys convince me to even write that letter in the first place."

Katara's heart sank. By 'you guys' Toph really meant her. This was entirely not what she had been anticipating back when she had made the offer. She feared her own involvement with Toph's situation had potentially made it worse.

Sokka proposed a possible explanation in an attempt to soften the blow. "W-well, wait, Toph, that was written before the war ended. Maybe now that everyone knows you helped, they'll-"

" _No._ "

Sokka sighed and dropped his arms. No way of logicking out of this one, huh?

"My parents have _always_ been like this."

"Toph," Katara insisted, "Your parents _love_ you, they're just-"

"No, Sugar Queen," Toph growled, spinning around to face the group. Her face was wet, her hair was still matted and messy from her water escapade, and her eyes burned with pain through the icy white. "My parents," she began, shifting into a squeaky mocking tone, "loved the little girl who did _everything_ she was told and never complained and never spoke back and would never _ever_ be anything but helpless and useless." She huffed through her nose like a bull and went back to anger. "The cheating, the violence, hell, even the _demonic metalbending,_ that is who I _am._ And my parents have never loved that girl." She wiped at her face some more, completely ashamed of herself. How could she have let herself believe for even a _moment_ anything besides this would've happened? This is why she had run away from home in the first place.

She thrust her hands down in a fit and the ground shook violently, tossing everyone off balance.

"Well, we do!" Katara insisted, her body bracing the impact.

Toph had no answer. She was angry and bitter and afraid and she wanted to remain that way for a while. Before anyone could say anything, she leapt up and stomped her whole weight into the ground, causing a thick pillar to propel her to the top of the cliff she had just come out of minutes before.

"Well," Sokka mused, scratching his head. "That went better than expected..."

Katara glared at him incredulously.

"How can you _say_ that?" she demanded.

He shrugged. "We're not buried under a rockslide, are we?" Katara sighed at his effort at lightening the mood.

"We should find some dinner before it gets dark out," Suki suggested, patting Sokka on the shoulder. The two of them began collecting equipment to head off for a hunt.

"I'll talk to her," Aang announced simply, tapping his newly acquired staff onto the ground. He raised his hand and forced the formation of earth back into its original position, fixing what Toph had changed.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Sokka prodded, slipping Boomerang Jr. into its proper place on his back. "I mean, Toph seemed pretty ticked off. I don't know if she'll-"

"She needs us," Katara insisted. "Even if she doesn't realize it. But why you, Aang?"

Aang gave her a thoughtful smile and looked up at the setting sun.

"Because I know what it's like to lose one family and find another."


	6. Volcano

_Chirp-chirp-chirp._   
_Ribbit. Ribbit.  
_

_Swssssshhhhhh..._  
Glub. Glub. Glub.  


Toph couldn't feel or hear straight, she was so angry. She kept tapping her feet into the grass to pick up a constant stream of vibrations from everything around her just to give her mind something to do besides what it kept getting pulled into doing. There was a squirrel-raccoon eating on a tree about thirty feet behind her. A frog was croaking alongside the river ten feet ahead to the left. A cricket was beginning its nighttime song directly to her right. Aang was a couple of feet in front of her - _holy crap_ where the hell did _he_ come from?

"Wah!" she cried out in surprise, throwing up her hands instinctively. "Wh-what are you doing here, Twinkletoes? Why'd you have to sneak up on me like that?"

 _Thump._ Aang sat himself in the grass directly before her, his legs crossed.

"Hey, Toph," he greeted, his words soaked with melancholy. Oh, great. Just what she needed: a heart-to-heart. _Gag._ "Sorry, air bending was the quickest way to find you _."_

"I'll let it slide," she dismissed, leaning back on her palms. Suddenly she was preoccupied with what she might look like. Her hair felt all tangled and her eyes stung.  
Whatever. I don't even _care_ at this point.

"Listen," Aang abruptly began. "I don't want to bother you if you think some time alone is what you need. But I want to talk with you...if you're up for it."

He was pretty serious. All of this 'saving the world' stuff had really changed him. He seemed so much older and stronger than the wimpy kid she had once taught earthbending to. Maybe _gag_ wasn't how she was feeling about this. She wasn't sure at this point.

"I'm listening," she groaned.

She could feel his palms planted on his bended knees, his heart relaxed and calm.

"Did anyone ever tell you how I ended up frozen in ice in the first place?" he checked.

Toph shrugged with apathy, blowing damp bangs off of her face.

"I ran away from home," Aang explained in a blunt manner she wasn't accustomed to. "My family, the monks...they were going to trap me, keep me from doing what I wanted to do, from being with who I wanted to be with. So I ran away."

Toph could feel a lump forming in her throat as she dwelt on the thought of running away - something she was very good at.

"I took Appa and we tried to leave everything behind, but...we were caught in a storm and got lost in the sea. I-I don't know how it happened, but I think I entered the Avatar State and froze myself in order to prevent us from dying."

Toph was now hugging her legs, chin resting on her knees lazily.

"Pff," she spat. "So what? Why are you telling me this?"

Aang sighed at her aggressive attitude. He was hoping that her emotionally unstable condition would have brought about some benefit and openness to support.

"I left my family behind," he clarified, "I ran because I felt like they weren't letting me be true to who I really was, but only what they saw me as. Just like what you just said back there."

That's exactly how I felt. That's exactly what I did.

Toph sighed and laid down on her back, drowning out her thoughts a bit and listening to the world around her again.

"You tryin' to say you know how I'm feeling?"

"Yes," Aang confidently confirmed. "I do. Maybe not _exactly._ But I-"

"Well, you _don't,_ Twinkletoes, so stop pretending like you do!"

She could feel his teeth gnashing together in his mouth. That ought to have pissed him off a bit. Maybe he'd take off and give her some peace.

"Why do you always _do_ this?" he spat in frustration.

"If you don't like it, leave me alone!"

They both aggressively faced each other, Aang glaring down at her. Toph's eyes of course weren't focused on Aang, but her anger wasn't focused on him, either.

"Toph, you can't let your feelings keep you trapped," Aang insisted. She could tell by his breathing that he was upset but trying to remain calm. Sitting back up, she shoved her eyebrows down at him.

"I'll do whatever I-"

"What you want and what's best for you aren't always the same thing," Aang insisted. "You're all mad because your parents are controlling. Well, guess what? They're still _alive._ At least you _knew_ your parents at all. You lost a lot when you left home but you didn't have much to lose, the way you keep everything out. I lost everything and everyone, except...except Appa."

Now her own teeth were grinding. Who did he think he was, trying to win over her pity?

"But I found a new family, Toph. And instead of staying angry and upset over everything I lost...Instead of letting myself mope around and be all angry all of the time, I held onto the people who found me and I protected them because I love them."

Toph sighed and let her head flop to the side, doing her best to look disinterested.

"You're not a monk, Toph," Aang observed. "Monks can detach themselves from the world. I tried. Even I couldn't really do it completely. Not for very long, at least. But you can't detach yourself from anything, you just hide from it and push it away."

That lump in her throat from earlier came back. She could feel her eyes starting to bulge. What the hell? She wasn't even upset. She didn't care what he had to say. Why did she feel like crying?

She found her shoulder warmed by his hand as he scooted beside her.

"You have to stop pretending, Toph. You have to take your own advice." Her face molded into confusion, though her head was turned away from him.

What are you getting at, Twinkletoes?

"Remember when you were teaching me earth bending? You threw everything at me, and said I had to stand my ground. Well, you're doing the opposite right now."

It was like he was grabbing at her soul and twisting it around, forcing it to face the truth her mind was convincing it to ignore.

"Every time you're upset and you run away, or...or hide in your stone tent, or whatever...You're _not_ standing your ground, Toph. You're not following your own teaching."

She could feel her breathing escalate and her heartbeat pick up. Her eyes burned, ready to explode.

"Your family doesn't want you," Aang solemnly concluded. "But we _do. I_ do. You're the closest thing I have to a sister now, Toph. Doesn't that mean anything? Isn't that worth standing your gr-?"

She'd plunged into his side, wrapping her arms around him. She released the gates and let the water trickle from her eyes. It was like all of the tears she had wanted to cry back when he'd been reading that letter were all coming out now. She couldn't stand the pounding from everything inside, trying to escape.

"OK! _Fine,"_ she whimpered, trying to sound tough and failing miserably. "I-I get it, Tw-Twinkletoes..." She was sniffling uncontrollably but for once not letting herself get angry about it. She felt invigorated by the pressure he applied in returning her hug and she held tightly, not wanting the sensation to end. This feeling of being enveloped by affection was energizing. They had their group hugs and that was all well and good, but these individual ones meant so much more to her. It was the difference between 'I'm hugging the group and you're part of it' and 'I'm hugging _you._ ' Like she was worth more than what she could bend with her mind and body.

"It's all right," Aang assured as he gave her a pat on the head through her mess of damp hair. "I know it's hard. But you've had us this whole time, and we're not going anywhere."

"Good," she choked out, almost in a laugh. Her heart was rampaging through her body like a angry, drunken Godzilla. She had no idea what building would get knocked down next.

She just wanted to remain in this bunker of comfort and assurance. At least in this place, she knew she'd come out all right, no matter what happened out there. Her relief wasn't anything specifically accredited to Aang so much as being wrapped in a blanket of security and affection. A tent of stone and dirt was very different than flesh and warmth and spirit. Her hands had tightened, braced as her soul was wrecked and ravaged by confusion and helplessness and anger. She didn't know how much time passed in this place of refuge - it could've been a few seconds or a few minutes - but Aang said not a word. He was there, and that was all she needed in that moment. Aang, Katara, Sokka...Had she really had them this whole time, like this? Had the blindness in her eyes been leaking into other places, as well?

Aang had helped her make up her mind: she was going to stand her ground and practice what she preached. If it required looking like a damned wimp but it felt as refreshing as this, then it was worth it.

"You all right?"

"Huh?" She was brought back to reality. Her grip was loose, her face was sticky and not streaming. Aang chuckled.

"You weren't fallin' asleep on me, were ya?"

"N-no," she sputtered. She certainly felt like she had just woken up, though. That damned flushed feeling had overtaken her face at some point, but it wasn't like the other times. Those were of embarrassment of desires or thoughts, but this was an aftereffect of trauma. She sniffed gunk through her damp nostrils and palmed her eyes drearily.

"I was...I just..."

Aang released her and slapped her on the arm affectionately.

"I know," he assured with a laugh. "It's like a volcano just erupted in your brain, right?"

"Yea," Toph agreed, confused at how well his statement fit her circumstance. "And my stomach," she groaned, grasping at her twisted innards.

"Then you have kind of an idea of what it's like to be in the Avatar State."

Toph was having trouble comprehending around that idea, but couldn't deny that there was a lot of sense to it.

"I know it's part of what makes you _you_ ," Aang observed, "But you don't _have_ to act all tough and cool all of the time. Some times standing your ground means letting others prevent you from falling."

Toph sighed a deep, exhausted sigh, her face wearing its rare 'thoughtful' mask. She of course didn't know how odd it looked to Aang, but it sure felt strange wearing it.

"I thought _I_ was supposed to be the teacher here," she mumbled with a smirk, wiping her nose.

"Maybe when it comes to earthbending," Aang admitted. "But come on - I'm the _Avatar_." She could tell he was puffing his chest out with satirical pride. "I think you can trust me with this deep spiritual stuff." He nudged her with his elbow, leaning in. "Unless you've left _your_ body and explored the meaning of the cosmos recently."

She giggled, returning to an almost fetal like position of relaxation, feet planted firmly in the grass. She scrunched her toes in, clutching the cold, damp blades. The sounds and vibrations of the world around her had sprung back upon her.

She pulled up her arm and made to slam Aang in the shoulder, but just before she did, something begged her to stop. She dropped her hand down and wrapped it back around her knee.

"I'm sorry, Aang," she muttered, her words drizzled with melancholy.

"For what?" he wondered, genuinely confused. He thought there was no need for an apology, as he had felt her anger and pain ooze out of her body like a virus being purged. Obviously not entirely, but he knew any malicious acts she demonstrated were due in part to this hurt and confusion and frustration, in the same way he'd hurt Katara and Sokka inadvertently during their time together.

Toph huffed, wiping tear-dampened strands of hair from her face.  
Why do you gotta to make this so difficult, Twinkletoes? Couldn't it just be 'I'm sorry' and 'It's OK?'

"I-I don't know," she grumbled with a shrug. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk sometimes, I guess."

"Oh, that," Aang dismissed. She could sense she was being mocked somehow. She couldn't be sure, but she tapped her feet, and it felt like his mouth was shaped into a huge grin.

"What?" she spat.

" _Sometimes_ , huh?"

She cocked her brow at him and tried to look angry, playfully slamming her fist into the ground and toppling the earth beneath him to throw him off balance.

" _Geez_ , Twinkletoes," she snickered. "I'm trying to be all touchy-feely and junk here and you're just..." She sighed in exasperation and threw her arms down, shaking her head slowly. She felt Aang's lungs pause, as if he was holding his breath.

"Taking it for _granite_?" Aang suddenly burst out. He gasped in a laugh.

"Whhhhow. _Really?_ That was...Wow. Ya saved that one for a while, didn't ya?"

"Yep."

The two enjoyed a moment of mutual appreciation before the strings that had recently hooked themselves into Toph's heart tugged once more.

"But seriously," she muttered, "You think I'm...like a sister?"

"Of course," Aang replied, like it was nothing.

"Really?"

A sister, huh? Toph didn't know exactly all that this entailed. Katara was Sokka's sister...Being a sister seemed pretty damn difficult. Then again, she couldn't deny that she had grown to wish she had a brother or a sister of her own. And here Aang was, just handing out this title to her like it was nothing. But the way he said it made it sound like it was everything.

"Well, why wouldn't I?" Aang asked rhetorically. "After everything we've been through, right? I told you, the Bei Fong family may not need you anymore, but we do."

Toph dug her toes into the grass again, subtly bending the earth below to envelope her feet as she pondered his words. The roots of the grass tickled her skin.

"Huh," she said aloud in observation. "I guess...I'm not a Bei Fong anymore, huh? Now I know how Zuko must've felt when his family disowned _him_."

"Zuko had his uncle, and you have us."

Toph nodded to herself thoughtfully, agreeing with his point. She twisted her ankles around, rotating the soil around her feet. She wasn't a Bei Fong anymore. It was official. She'd been disowned. But she'd already been adopted before she had even noticed. And that wasn't so bad, she decided. A thought struck her like a bolt of lightning.

"Whoa, _wait_!" she started, balling her fists triumphantly.

"What is it?"

"So, if I'm your sister, then that means you're my brother. Right?" Her words were racing with excitement, like a river nearing a waterfall.

"Uh, yea," Aang slowly replied, his tone clearly illustrating his perplexation. "I guess."

"That's so _cool._ "

"Uh, thanks," Aang muttered. "But why's that so cool?"

"Uhhh, _duh?_ It means I can tell people my little bro saved the freakin' _world._ That makes _me_ look pretty awesome."

She pounded her feet on the ground a few times with a playfully mischievous smile. Based on Aang's lack of reaction, she decided to explain.

"OK, OK, Twinkletoes. Let me get it through that bald head. Think about it. If you're the annoying little brother that saved the world and I'm automatically cooler than you, how awesome does that-"

"What?" Aang interjected. "Where do you get-"

"I'm your big sister now, right? That makes me cooler than you. _Automatically_." She jabbed a proud thumb into her chest and gave Aang a taunting, toothy smile.

 _Tip. Tip._ Aang stepped up to his feet. She could feel him towering over her casual sitting stance.

"Then I guess I'll just have to live up to being an annoying little brother, huh?"

"I guess you wi-"

_Ffoooooooowwwmm._

She felt her entire body getting attacked at all angles. Instinctively, she pounded her fists into the ground and created a dome of rock around her. In her own small, quiet cave for one body, she palmed the ground, frantically trying to find the source of the attack. No one was there. Aang had vanished. Before she could even process the idea of panic or confusion, her shell of rocks came collapsing around her, instantly ground into dirt. She sputtered and choked on it, then flung her hand out, dispelling all of the soil from her body.

"Aang, you little jerk!" she growled, chuckling. "Ohhh, lookit you," she mocked. "You can bend all the elements. Let's scare the hell out of the blind girl! The blind girl who can crush a man with her _fingers._ "

"Maybe," Aang called out. He was above her, to her left, maybe ten feet away. Suddenly, she felt his hand tug on her hair, which she suddenly realized was rather out of sorts, likely from the gusts of wind moments before. "But how cool are you when you look like a boar-q-pine?"

She jumped to her feet and whipped her arms around, shooting a barrage of pebbles in the direction his voice had come from. She of course was just playing and didn't want to crush the kid, though he had become such a force to be reckoned with she wasn't as sure as she once was if she even could.

_Toktoktoktoktoktok._

That stupid little stick of his. She couldn't hit him while he was floating around.

_Thunk._

A sharp pain struck her in the forehead _. Damnit_ , that had been one of her own pebbles. She'd let her guard down. Her carelessness must have been a result of her shaken state of mind.

"Love you, Big Sis!" Aang teased with a hearty laugh as he sailed away, fleeing from her fury.

She didn't have it in her to even bother pursuing him. She latched her hands behind her back and paced along the riverside, making her way back to camp. Aang's words, 'Love you, Big Sis,' continued to echo in her head. She knew he had been joking when he had said it but she knew it was true nonetheless. She had never really thought of him as a brother, but since he had brought the idea to her attention she rather enjoyed the notion. The seed had been planted months ago and had been getting watered and cared for, she just had neglected to notice it until now. She found herself consequently pondering the idea of Sokka and Katara as older siblings, but couldn't quite click those pieces together just right. Katara felt too much like a mom, and Sokka...well, he was _Sokka._ Just because Katara put up with him didn't mean Toph was willing to.

The boar-q-pine-haired girl in the swimsuit pensively took her time heading downstream, her mind turned inside out.

_Chirp-chirp-chirp._   
_Ribbit. Ribbit._

_Swssssshhhhhh...  
Glub. Glub. Glub._


	7. All She Has

Toph had taken her sweet time finding her way back. She had been in no rush at all and wanted to give herself time to think about what Aang had told her and reflect on it. The world had grown colder beneath her feet, the air was bitter and nipped at her face whenever a breeze picked up. She was planning on putting on more layers as soon as she got back.

_Rrrrummmmm..._

The familiar and distant sound of an oncoming storm tickled her ears. She loved that sound. It was strong and ominous, and it streaked through the sky - the sky, a world generally painted in shades of white noise to her senses.

Her feet had picked up on the vibrations of her friends, all huddled around in a circle. Appa was resting not far away, probably asleep. A lump in-between their forms was probably a campfire. Mm, fire. She savored the taste of warmth on the tip of her brain. Another gust of wind shook her to react by clutching herself, but it also brought the alluring scent of fish. She didn't recognize its species offhand, but then again, she wasn't exactly big on fish, either. That said, her stomach jerked with delight at the promise of said fish being contained within said stomach.

_Crack crack. Snackle krik.  
Chom chom chom. Munch. Munch.  
Fssssssssss..._

"That last one's almost done, Katara," she could hear Sokka caution. "That one's Tophs, don't let it burn."

"I know," Katara assured. Toph could feel Katara rise and approach the fire. Well, that explained the 'fss' sound, which promptly slowed down as Katara no-doubt removed it from the flames.

"You're sure she was all right, Aang?" Katara wondered.

"She was really upset," Aang informed, "But I mean, who wouldn't be? By the time I left she was fine, though."

"She's a tough cookie," Sokka assured. "You shouldn't worry so much, Katara."

"Sokka, you _saw_ her before she left. She was _heartbroken._ "

Wow. Heartbroken? Did I really look that bad? Meh. Katara's just being a drama queen.

"I know," Sokka conceded seriously through a clump of half-chewed fish.

Oh. I must have _really_ looked that bad, then...

"I'm just not sure if it's really our business, Toph has always handled things just fine on her own."

Katara sighed in response.

"Sokka, of _course_ it's our business. We're all the family she has now."

Toph had stopped walking, opting to hide by a tree about fifty feet away. She leaned back into the tree, pressing her palms into its rough, bumpy bark. Katara's words dug deep into Toph's skull. Her entire family was right there around that fire. Everyone she had grown up with...she might never see them again. She'd betrayed them and run away. No, _screw_ that. They'd betrayed _her._ They had taken her mighty soul and strength and locked it in a tiny cage. She couldn't live in a cage. This was the life she wanted, out in the world. Touching, hearing, smelling, tasting everything there was to feel. Taking risks, laying back, living large, living small. Whatever she felt like doing, she could go and do it and no one could tell her no. And yet, given that choice, she still _chose_ to let Aang or Katara - even Sokka - tell her 'no,' tell her what to do from time to time. Why?

"And Toph has _not_ handled things 'just fine,'" Katara continued. "Aang's right, she's been like a volcano ready to explode because she's been keeping everything inside. I'm not saying she's some sensitive little girl who needs to be watched over or...or anything like that," she clarified, seeming to jump the 'you act like a mother' gun before anyone said anything. "Toph's strong, confident, determined, she doesn't let little things bother her. But that doesn't mean she has a heart of stone, either."

Strong, confident, determined. I like the sound of that. That's totally me.

"I'm with Katara on this," Aang agreed. "You didn't see what she was like, Sokka. It was like this...big _flood_ of...stuff. It was like she just fell apart right there in front of me, but...like, in a good way."

Well, that was _one_ way of putting it. It had pretty much felt like falling apart, that was for sure.

"A good way?" Sokka wondered. _Schlurp. Schmack._ She recognized the sound well - that was when Sokka licked his fingers clean, the dirty bum.

"Yea. I think it's what she's been needing - to be broken down so she can build herself back up."

"That...sounds pretty counter intuitive," Sokka skeptically muttered.

"I think Aang's right," Suki piped in, much to Toph's surprise. She seemed so quiet on the matter this whole time. "Remember the teacher who taught you how to use a sword? Isn't that what happened? He refused to take in any students, but he took you on as his pupil, because you were willing to do that: fall apart and let him help you put the pieces back together stronger than before." _Pat, pat._ "And look how _you_ turned out. If _you_ have any hope, I'm sure Toph does, as well."

What the hell does _Suki_ care about me and 'building' and 'falling apart' and all of this garbage? She doesn't know me. Not really. She just stumbled along into our perfectly fine foursome and messed it all up and is leading Sokka along like her pet.

"I guess." Sokka didn't quite seem sold on the notion. "She never seems all that bothered to _me._ I just have trouble seeing Toph as sensitive or caring. She acts all tough all the time and... _not_ sensitive and _un_ caring."

_What?_ I'm _totally_ sensitive and caring! When...I want to be! Really! What a jerk. How could he say that? Like Katara said, I don't have a heart of stone, after all. Sokka knows that. Right?

"Maybe that's because _you_ don't pay attention," Katara snubbed. "I'm not saying she's a defenseless chipmunk-rabbit. I'm just saying that she's hurt, she has problems, and because she doesn't know how to deal with them she just covers it up and acts like she doesn't care. It's not good for her. If we're going to be the family she needs we can't just ignore it all along with her. We have to help Toph out and be there for her."

Normally, Toph would dismiss this as Katara's 'mother syndrome' but after her talk with Aang, Toph's mind was cracked open. Katara sounded like she _really_ cared about this - about _her._

The fire crackled in peace, uninterrupted, for a few moments.

"I know, Katara," Sokka responded at last. "I'm not trying to sound like I don't care. I care about Toph as much as you do." Really? He does? "And I feel bad for the girl. That's rough, what she's going through. It's not like we don't know what it's like to lose people we loved. I'm just not sure if your approach is what's best for her."

"My _approach?_ "

Uh-oh. That was a _bad_ tone of voice. Toph knew that tone _very_ well.

"Katara," Sokka pacified, "Has Aang ever gotten into a serious fight with Toph? Have I?" No response. "Nope. But you have. Like, _how_ many times?" She could feel Katara's stomps vibrate over to a place on the ground besides Aang. _Whump._ She had slammed herself into the dirt. "I'm sorry, I'm just _saying._ When it comes to serious stuff like this you two just act like...Well... _girls._ Er, no offense, Suki." Suki snickered out a sigh.

"Oh, so I _am_ a girl now," she chuckled. "I thought I was only a warrior."

"You have a point, Sokka," Katara pouted, somewhat defeated.

Wait, Katara and Toph had their differences, but...Katara cared. She was just looking out for what was best for her. Wow, wait. Why was this usually a nuisance but super cool all of a sudden?

_Rrrrummmmm..._

That thunder was definitely closer. Brr. Damn wind. Toph's toes were starting to feel numb, so she decided she'd better stop eavesdropping at this point. She'd heard enough, anyway. They were all really flustered, all over her and her stupid problems. She was starting to feel guilty about them all worrying. Yuck. This guilt crap felt like garbage. No wonder she always ignored it when it came up.

"You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, that's _all_ I'm saying," Sokka sagely concluded.

"I think I want to be helped," Toph announced to the group as she approached the fire, the group, and the embracing warmth that accompanied both.


	8. Like a Mother

_Thip. Thip. Thip._ Katara walked over peacefully.

"Well, I'd love to help," she assured with a giggle. What was so funny? She was being serious here! "But that hair, Toph...It might beyond my power." A flurry of chuckles at her expense grated her patience a little. Riiiight. The hair. She wouldn't say she'd forgotten it - it was hard to forget with the way it felt as the chilly air passed through it - but she had thought her comment wouldn't have been dismissed so easily.

Katara's hands stroked through Toph's hair and attempted to slick it down but she could sense it was only helping a little bit.

"Wow, Aang, you weren't kidding," Sokka joked. "She really _does_ look like a boar-q-pine!"

" _Hey!_ Shut up!" She couldn't help but laugh at herself, though. At least everyone wasn't being all mopey. But...come on. She couldn't look _that_ bad.

"Yea, Sokka," Katara defended, teasing. "You don't want to be sleeping under a boulder tonight, do you?" Katara's comforting hand scratched at the base of Toph's neck and patted her on the back, easing her to the fire. "We'll clean you up in a bit, but first you should eat."

"Don't mind if I do."

She merrily plopped herself down between Katara and Sokka and sunk her teeth into her roasted fish, savoring its texture and flavor, soaking in the warmth, and letting the crackles and pops of the burning wood encompass her.

"Feeling any better?" Aang asked her after a few moments of peace. She nodded, chewing loudly and not caring one bit. She could just sense that all attention was on her - and it _wasn't_ her loud chewing. That thick worry was hanging in the air around her.

"I was being serious," she clarified. "About...you guys. And...the help. Stuff." Her words and dwindled into a nearly incomprehensible mumble.

"Toph." _Skitch skitch skitch._ Katara had scooted along the ground to her side and tapped her knee. "I was being serious, too."

"Cool," Toph acknowledged with a smirk before chomping back into her fish.

* * *

_Ga-lunk. Lub, lub, lub.  
Thip. Thip. Thip. Thip._   
_Sklish-Swoom-Splash!_

The water crashed into her head like an iceberg, causing her body to tighten up. She endured the discomfort silently.

"I'm sorry," Katara apologized in a whimper. "I know it's cold, but we need to wash that hair."

"It's fine," Toph grunted through the grit teeth. She had just wanted to deal with it and get it over with. It had been funny and all, but she had quickly outgrown the humor of everyone perceiving her as an urchin.

"So you and Aang had a nice talk, huh?" Katara probed simply for the sake of conversation. In her current state of mind Toph felt open to discussing the whole situation with Katara, especially after how intimately involved she seemed to be making herself.

"Yea," she replied, absorbing the pleasure of Katara's hands running through her hair. "It was...weird..."

"How come?"

"I dunno, I just...started crying," Toph sheepishly confessed, shrugging her shoulders. She was sprawled on her back on a short plateau of rock she'd formed, her hair dangled off the edge so Katara could fix it. The river gurgled and splashed not far away. Hopefully this wouldn't take long so she could warm up again. "But it felt...good," she explained, eager to close the gate before Katara could douse her in pity.

"I'm glad Aang helped you feel better."

"Me, too. He said that-"

_RRRRRRRUUUUUUUMMMMM!_

_"Whoa."_ Toph had been shaken by the roar of the thunder. She was surprised it hadn't started raining yet.

_Pit. Pit. Pitpitpatpitterpatterpitpat..._

Nevermind. The trickling was an irritation at that point, with how cold she was. But she relished the sound of rain compounded by the delightful texture of a million drops smashing the ground. It was music to her feet.

"Well, looks like we'll need to finish this later," Katara sighed. The lack of tapping rain around her feet indicated that Katara was bending the drops away. Awesome. She got to enjoy the sounds with none of the freezing wetness. Rain made the world even more detectable than usual. Even objects in the air were more clear from the sounds of drops hitting them. As they made their way back, Toph's head was tickled by the strange sensation of water being bended out of it to dry it off.

Fortunately, camp wasn't very far away. The slamming of rain against tarp was sharp and crisp. She could feel Sokka and Suki in their tent, but the rain was causing too much shaking for her to make out whether they were asleep or not. Aang opened his tent's door and waved Katara in. Toph started to craft herself a stone tent but Katara grabbed her arm.

There was an immediate understanding, so Toph's balled fists spread out and pressed the earth back into place. She let Katara drag her into the tent. The waterbending utilized earlier meant that they were luckily dry on entry. Toph was confused and could sense Katara sorting through a pack, retrieving clothes. She placed the cloth in Toph's hands. The familiar, comforting scent of her own odor and the thick texture of her clothes was welcoming after a long day without them.

"All right, Aang, get out for a minute," Katara commanded bluntly.

"Wh-?"

"I'm not having Toph change out in the rain," she enforced expectantly.  
Duh, Aang. Have some sense.

Aang made no sounds of irritation or frustration, but Toph, smirking devilishly, could hair him slipping on his pants. She chortled.

"Wait. Were you just _naked_?" she managed, containing laughter as best she could.

"Not _entirely,_ " Aang countered. Toph choked on a snicker.

"Oh, _stop it_ you two," Katara spat impatiently but gently. "It doesn't even matter. _You,_ get out for a minute. _You,"_ she slapped Toph on the side of the head. "Get changed, you'll freeze if you don't get more layers on."

As she changed, she could feel Katara placing discharged objects back into the packs that she and Aang had shaken up. She could hear Aang playing around with the rain outside like a toy.

"Why are you letting me sleep in here?" Toph wondered. She felt like she already knew the answer but wanted to hear Katara say it. "I mean, isn't that gonna be _awkward_ for you guys?" Toph never slept in the tents. Ever. But now that she pondered it, that was more her decision than anyone else's, wasn't it?

"Not at all," Katara insisted. "We're not letting you sleep out there in the cold, especially after the rough day you've had." _Fwuff fwuff._ "There." She had finished preparing a place to sleep. "You're going to sleep with me tonight." With her? What about Aang? "I brought an extra pillow and blanket just in case." Oh. OK. So she was going to sleep with her own pillow and blanket? The idea of camping in the great outdoors with a tent and a pillow and blanket...it was jarring. That felt more like sissy stuff she was forced to do at home. Well...what _used_ to be home, anyway. Then again, Katara was right. Rough day, cold, raining, blabla. It was time to get some shut-eye.

"Come on," Katara eased, tugging on her hand and urging her to lie down. She sat beside her designated pillow, still confused by the whole situation. "You can come in now, Aang," she called.

_Fwuffle._ Aang carefully snuck in and yawned a mighty yawn.

"Toph's going to sleep with me tonight," Katara explained. "I set things up for you."

"Fine by me," Aang groggily muttered, scratching himself. _Sksh sksh. Pathump._ He collapsed in a pile onto his pillow, lazily repositioning himself underneath his blanket. _Scuff. Skiff. Scruff._

"Hey." Katara jabbed him in the chest, knelt down over him. "Don't I get a good night kiss?" He moaned in response, but she could feel his head flop around to face her. If what he had just said was supposed to make any sense it had failed. _Smir-tch._ Ew. Blech. They invite her into their tent and then subject her to this? Why did everyone have to get all smootchy and- _Paft._ Katara was nudging her to scoot a bit over to the side to make space. The tent wasn't exactly ideal for three people.

She shifted over and rested her head, loose hair and all, into her pillow. _Fwoof._ Oooh. Feathers. Oh, wow. This felt pretty awesome. _Swif, scuff, swif._ She tucked the blanket around herself. Mm, nice and warm. She soaked in the heat for a while, appreciating what had once been the norm in her life. Katara had taken off her outer layers and had snuck in beside her at some point. Aang's body was already lost halfway into sleep but Katara was clearly still awake. She was probably still worried...Sugar Queen never _did_ seem able to just let sleeping newt-dogs lie. Erm, not that she was sleeping yet, so maybe-

"Having trouble sleeping?" whispered Katara from her right.

"Yea," Toph whispered back. "Too much crap in my head."

She suddenly felt Katara slinking her arm beneath Toph's neck, then tugging on her left shoulder. Being in a pretty complacent mood at the moment, she let the arm direct her head onto the front Katara's left shoulder. The hand methodically moved back and forth along her left arm. She hadn't experienced this combination of touch and warmth in a long time but recognized it immediately. It reminded her of her...

"I'm sorry about your parents, Toph."

Toph tried to reply but almost suffocated on her words, her stomach lurching. These words needed to come out. She'd _make_ them, damnit. Her eyes pushed back that stubborn urge to burst again and she expelled the pain, like crying through her teeth instead of her eyes.

"M-me, too."

At that moment, no other words needed to be said. Maybe later, but...right then, that was it. Toph was _so_ thankful that Katara seemed to understand this, as not another word was spoken. All she needed to hear was the lullaby that would put her to sleep: the soothing, steady drum from below the shoulder she was resting upon.

_Thum-thump. Thum-thump. Thum-thump._


	9. One of a Kind

Where is it? Where _is_ it? Urgh. Not there. Not _there._ Not there, _either!_ What the hell? Where did it go?

"Where did it _go?_ "

At this point, she was desperate. On her knees, she was smacking everything around carelessly, unable to track down her tiny treasure. Cloth, leather, bag of rice, bowls, forks- _ow,_ for Spirits' sake! She grunted in pain and frustration, sucking a drop of blood from her finger.

"Where did _what_ go?"

"O-Oh, hey, Katara," she mumbled, attempting to shove everything back where it had been. Her haphazard efforts probably looked like a trash heap. "I just lost something. That's all."

"Well," Katara slowly began. "What did you lose?"

Toph rose from her knees and turned to Katara.

"I think I lost the bracelet Sokka made for me." The grumbling flopped out of her mouth like it had to be shoved out.

"Sokka didn't make you a bracelet," Katara pointed out coyly. Toph could sense a smirk through Katara's tone and her cheeks started to heat up. "You mean the meteor rock he gave you?"

"Yea," Toph spat out hurriedly, wanting to change the subject. "Yea, that. I can't find it!"

"Where was the last place you put it?"

"I think I put it with Sokka's things before I went swimming yesterday," she explained, smacking herself in the side of the head. She had been careless at the time, eager to take up Sokka's offer for a swim, but she'd been petrified of losing it and having it wash away down the river. The events of the day had her so preoccupied that she'd forgotten all about it, and now her wrist felt bare and lonely.

"OK," Katara said reassuringly. "Let's go and ask him if he found it, then." Yea. That couldn't be too difficult, right? Geez, what was she panicking about, anyway?

Toph gave a simple nod and the two exited the tent. Katara snickered at nothing she could discern.

"We _really_ need to fix your hair."

Oh, right. Bleh. Might as well do that after we find my space rock.

"Ah, there he is," Katara said, patting her on the back. "He's straight ahead, at the river." Toph headed off, leaving Katara to continue working on breakfast with Suki.

 _Crawnch. Krnsh krnsh krnsh._ Sokka's munching was a dead giveaway through the sloshing of the running water. He was chowing down on what sounded like a carrot. Hawky was perched on his shoulder, cawing on occasion. He was sitting on a boulder half sunken into the river near the shore.

"Hey, Meathead!" Toph called as she approached. "You got my space rock?" Rumblings from her feet told her he had bounded off of the stone and onto the shore. Hawky became a wisp for a moment, then took on a clear form on Sokka's shoulder when he'd reached solid ground.

"Your _what_ , now?"

"My meteor rock," Toph insisted. "I think I left it with your stuff yesterday. Before we went swimming?"

"Oh, right," he muttered. _Shiff-shuff-skaff._ "Yep, here ya go." He tossed it at her, and she could feel its presence drift through the air, the nerves tingling in her extended palm from the flowing energy attracting the stone. She twisted her hand and eased the rock in mid-flight, strapping it around her left wrist. Ah. Much better.

"Thanks." She gave him a wide grin. "I didn't wanna lose it in the river."

"Definitely. You gotta take good care of that. Don't wanna lose it, right?"

Toph eagerly nodded in reply.

"That thing's one of a kind," he said before chewing into his carrot again. He gave her a pat on the head and added warmly - with a mouthful of carrot - "Juff wyke woo." Toph could feel her soul beaming with pride at his compliment. But this was short lived, as Sokka sighed to himself, and Toph's heart grimaced at the longing in his breath.

"What's up?" she wondered, running her hand along the cold, surreal stone on his wrist.

"Ah, it's nothing," he grumbled with a dismissive tone. _Thip thip thip._ He was making his way back to camp.

"Don't gimme that, Snoozles," Toph urged, catching up beside him and tugging on his shirt. "What is it?" Something weird was up with him, for sure.

"Agh," he groaned. "It's just...I miss Space Sword." It was a pathetic whimper of desperation.

What? Seriously? He's flustered over a _sword_? A hunk of rock?

"Oh," she awkwardly replied, unsure of how to respond or what had brought about the subject. Oh, duh: the space rock, it was made of the same meteor Sokka had forged his old sword from. "Uh, that sucks."

"Yea," he glumly agreed. "I miss Boomerang, too. He and I went way back, ya know? His son's a great guy and all, but...Just not the same. And SteelFace is cool but _man,_ I had a freakin' sword from outer _space._ It's not like those are easy to come by."

What the heck was she supposed to say to that? He was getting all bent out of shape over his weapons being gone. Then Toph remembered the very thing she had _just_ been making a fuss about and felt like a jerk.

"Mmmaybe you should...I dunno...Make a new sword yourself?"

Sokka hadn't made SteelFace, he'd bought him from a smith in Ba Sing Se before they had left so he could continue practicing. 'Always gotta be prepared,' he'd said.

"Maybe," Sokka pondered. "It was worth it, though." Her world was rumbled around as his rough knuckle descended upon her head and scratched at her skull. "I guess you're more valuable to Team Avatar than even Boomerang and Space Sword were _combined_."

One of a kind, just like you; valuable: to _Team Avatar_...But also to him, personally? Maybe maybe?

"Besides, someone has to help me keep everyone grounded in reality. Don't want everyone getting too optimistic about life, right?"

"Yea," she agreed gruffly. "The Universe is waiting to crush us around every corner, after all."

The two enjoyed a chuckle at the expense of times gone by.

She remembered those perilous moments when her life had hung by the thread of Sokka's arm, pinned down by Fire Nation soldiers on a war blimp above an ignited forest. Sokka had bravely sacrificed his two beloved weapons to save her life, all on his own. Well, until Suki showed up and...saved them _both._ Toph didn't care, _he_ was still her hero.

"Man," Sokka said simply, as if being enlightened about something.

"What?"

"Have you _always_ had that much hair on your big head?" Sokka wondered in disbelief at the mass of frizzy black that hung from her head, no-doubt pointed in all manner of directions. Toph sunk her head down to the ground, feeling her face flush. Bleck, he probably thought she looked like woodland animal.

"Yea," she muttered with a shrug. "Haven't got it cut since I was still with my..." She trailed off. It didn't feel right. They didn't deserve to be referred to by that title any more. Sokka slapped her on the back - a rough stroke of sympathy.

"No use having so much hair if you don't do anything with it," he advised, fumbling for conversation so as to avoid the topic she was _not_ in the mood to discuss at the moment. At least he knew well enough. His words stumbled along like a drunken old man. "Maybe you should have Katara...I don't know...braid it for you. Or something. She...seems good at the...braiding. And stuff." She could feel an uncomfortable insecurity in his tone. Girly things like 'hair' were clearly not his strength. Well, that was OK, because they weren't hers, either.

"You think so?" she probed, her face still pointed down.

"Uh, sure," he replied in nonchalance. "Pff, I dunno. You should really ask Katara about it, I _don't_ think I'm exactly a fashion guru. Just a thought, though."

Urgh, make up your mind! You brought it up, you Meathead.

"Did you find your rock?" Katara questioned. Huh, that walk had seemed longer on the way over...Oh, yum. That smelled like boiled carrots and potatoes. Potatoes were quite possibly the greatest gift bestowed upon mankind, as far as she was concerned.

"Yep," Toph replied, sticking up her arm proudly to show it.

"Great." _Skoss-skoss -_ wooden spoon, scraping around inside a pot. That familiar sound made her mouth water. "Food's almost done. You wanna go get Aang? He should be with Appa and Momo." Katara knew better than to tell her which direction they were in. Those three made quite a racket - not to mention the way the earth shook with each step Appa took.

After a minute or two of walking and obsessing over why Sokka had made that comment about her hair, she'd found the group. Aang was swirling Momo around in a mini tornado while Appa moaned in what likely approximated to laughter.

"Hey, guys," Toph proclaimed. "Time to eat!"

_Swooof! Vvmmmm!_   
_"Kreeeeeee!"_

Her mess of hair went flailing around. Had Aang just airbended _Momo_ past her head?

"You better watch yourself, Twinkletoes," she threatened, pounding her fist into her palm gleefully.

_...fwo-fwo-Fwo-Fwo-FWO-FWO-FWO-_

"Why's that?" Aang taunted back, zipping by on his stupid little air-ridey-thing.

_FWO-FWO-Fwo-Fwo-fwo-fwo-fwo..._

He was gone before she could reply. She pushed her hair out of her face and laughed to herself. He was certainly living up to the reputation she had assigned him.


	10. Pretty

Toph's mind had been taken on a pleasure cruise down a trickling stream. She delighted in the tickling, meticulous sensations as her puffy mass of frizzy hair, freshly washed and dried, was now being carefully woven into a long braid. Her head knelt down, shoulders relaxed, feet sticking out into the air without a care for what rumbled beneath them, she soaked in these delightful touches without words for a few minutes. She felt as if at some point her hair had been braided before, but she couldn't recall when, or how, or what it felt like. If it had, it would've been by a servant, certainly not her mother. She found her mind wandering around all manner of locations, from her squeezing hug from Aang the night prior to the calming pulse of Katara's heartbeat to the flexing muscles of Sokka's chest as he swam. There were so many things to _touch_ all around her, it made her wonder why she had been so reluctant to do such things before.

Toph was wrapped in late morning beams of heat, her palms planted in the dry, warm grass, gentle and deliberate fingers twisting through her hair, her belly full of delicious potato and carrot stew, the scents of various field flowers melding together to add a sweet tint to the wafting breezes...It was almost midday and it was quite a delightful day, at that. Toph couldn't remember the last time she had specifically felt that way about _any_ day.

"So what made you want to put your hair in a braid?" Katara probed. Toph could sense a sly suspicion in her voice. She knew something was strange about the idea coming from Toph's head. "You usually don't care about your hair all that much..." Toph was glad her back was turned to Katara, as her mind immediately skipped around to its recollection of Sokka's suggestion and she was sure she was probably blushing a bit. It was a curse at this point.

"I dunno," she lied coolly. "Just felt like trying something different, I guess."

"Uh-huh," Katara replied with a slow and suspicious tone. Crap. She was onto Toph's secret, wasn't she? She _would_ be. No matter how hard Toph tried to keep her business her own, Katara always seemed to worm her way into her head. "So is there a boy back home you're trying to look pretty for?" Wait, what? Oh-ho, she thought she was so sneaky, huh? Maybe she wasn't so smart, after all!

"Wh-what? Psh. _Please._ "

"Oh, come on," Katara insisted, continuing her intricate hair-crafting without skipping a beat. "What's his name? Did you meet him during the festival in Ba Sing Se when the war ended?" She could feel her face cooling down as Katara lost the trail.

"N-no, there wasn't anybody...I don't-" She was mumbling, making it all too easy for Katara to start guessing.

" _Oh,_ is it that little guy? The Duke?"

The _Duke?_ Who the hell was that? Sounded like a total dweeb.

"Uhhh..."

"Ya know...The Duke."

Nope. Nothing. She was drawing a total blank. _Snap, snap, snap._ Katara was flicking her fingers, grasping for a point of reference.

"Um, um...Oh! There was one time we were on a boat, and you got all seasick. He gave you his helmet so you could throw up in it."

Blech. Just the thought of being seasick was making her dizzy. She utterly abhorred the feeling, it was one of the most disorienting and uncomfortable sensations she had ever experienced. She didn't really remember a boat ride or anyone she had talked with, it was just a blur of feeling ill and dazed.

"Nope," she muttered, drumming her fingers into the soft ground beneath the blades of grass. "Don't remember him."

"Really?" Katara seemed taken aback. "He was so nice to you." Toph could hear the pity in her voice with just a tinge of disappointment that she wasn't recollecting. "He let you _puke_ in his _helmet,_ for crying out loud _._ And he was always running around, getting you water and a blanket and everything. You really don't remember him at all?" Toph merely shrugged in reply. She had nothing more to say.

Sokka's words echoed through her mind: 'She acts all tough all the time and... _not_ sensitive and _un_ caring.' Her heart sank an inch. Was she really that bad? So what if she didn't remember some kid's name? That didn't make her a jerk...And what if she _was_ a jerk? Huh? She was allowed to be! Who cared?

_I_ care if I'm a jerk...Ugh. Not used to this.

She sighed in spite of herself, having kind of trailed off of the topic in her head. Katara let out a laugh from behind.

"Well, I guess it's not _him,_ " she concluded, humored by her own lack of accuracy combined with Toph's insensitivity. "Who is it, then?" she wondered. "Is it someone I know?"

_Urk._ Oh, yep. That was Toph's heart forgetting to pump for a second there. Crap. Crap-crap-crap! What should she say? Lie? Lie. Yea. Lie.

"Whh-it's-"

"Aha!" Katara triumphantly cheered, going back to her braiding. "I knew it. It _is._ You're getting all nervous about it."

Damnit. This wasn't her business! Toph appreciated the night before, she appreciated this, she was thankful for this re-awakening of interest in her well-being and how she was actually able to enjoy it this time around, but...Not this!

"It's OK," Katara assured, rubbing her shoulder. "I'll stop picking on you about it, but only if you promise you'll tell me about it some time."

"Sure," she spat out impulsively. "I just...don't wanna talk about it right now, OK?" There was a harsh bite to her words. Katara's hand squeezed her shoulder, making her realize how tense she had become. She let herself relax again.

"OK," Katara agreed. Toph could feel a pang of guilt seep through the girl's fingertips into her arm before her hair resumed its state of being woven. "I didn't mean to get you upset," she clarified. "I was just picking on you. If I'm going to be your big sister, you're going to have to get used to that." There was that same little taste of mischief, just like Aang had been giving her. Toph considered objecting to that, as this was the first time she could recall where Katara had actually compared them to sisters in such a direct way. But rather than object, she accepted the idea with a shrug. She scooted in toward the rock Katara was perched upon, bending her knees up to stick her feet into the grass.

" _Fine,_ " Toph groaned mockingly. "Whatever, I guess I'll deal with you, too." She grinned widely as Katara paused her braiding and was pushing Toph's bangs out of her face.

"I'm glad I'm worth tolerating, then."

Toph fussed a bit and shoved her bangs back to where they had been. "I like 'em like this," she insisted. She didn't care if they got in her face. She just liked them there, and didn't care what people thought of how it made her look. They were kind of like her antennae, in a way, helping her sense things like wind and the like.

"Oh, all right," Katara acknowledged, backing off. "You know, they cover up your eyes." Duh. That was part of the point, Sugar Queen.

"Aaaaand why does that matter?" Toph wondered, her mood tainted with irritation at this point. Her body involuntarily loosened when those nimble hands went back to work, tugging at the nerves on her head once again.

"If you're trying to impress a boy," Katara explained, "you should let him see your eyes, even if you can't see his." Ugh. Again with the boys. I am _not_ in the mood for this. "You have very pretty eyes, Toph," Katara specified. Pretty eyes? Toph tried hard to contemplate what that even _meant._

"Yea, that doesn't help me much, here," she grumbled. "I don't even know what 'pretty' _is._ "

"Sure you do," Katara insisted. "Think about something that feels nice. Like a nice smell, or a tasty food...'Pretty' is just a word we use for that same kind of thing, it's just that you see it."

"Which means I'll never _really_ know what you're talking about," Toph dismissed. She didn't care one bit when Katara sighed in defeat. OK, maybe she felt a little bad, but she was in a cranky mood. Couldn't Katara just let it alone?

"I guess you're right," Katara admitted. "But you're very cute, Toph. Your eyes are very different from most people's. I know it's hard to understand, but trust me: you have pretty eyes, and it couldn't hurt to show them off if you're trying to impress a boy." _Rrrr._ Where was she pulling this crap from?

"Who said I'm trying to impress a boy?" she demanded in quite an ornery fashion, crossing her arms.

"OK, all right!" Katara accepted with a giggle before making a valid point. "I just can't think of why else you'd start worrying about your hair so much or why you'd get all flustered by me and Aang or Sokka and Suki." Toph couldn't reply - unless grinding her teeth a bit counted. She tapped her foot into the dirt with great impatience. "And don't act like you haven't, I've noticed it." Yes, yes, _yes._ Fine! She felt uncomfortable with all of these love birds tweeting all around. Big whoop.

"It's awkward," she spat out in indignation. "I feel out of place."

"I know," Katara assured. "And I'm sorry." She said it with sympathy but they both knew there was nothing that could be done about it.

"It's OK," Toph said plainly with a shrug as nonchalant as she could muster. Those guys wanted to do all their mushy stuff? Great. Then they should back off and not bother _her_ about that junk. She was slowly wiggling her fingers around, sliding her meteor bracelet around her arm methodically like a thick liquid.

_Fwoooohhhhhh-tip. Fwok.  
_ Ah, it was Aang, landing on his glider. Being jolted from her habit, she melded her stone back into a bracelet hurriedly.

"Hey," Aang greeted. "Got that _mess_ cleaned up yet?"

"Ha. Ha," Toph faked. She rubbed her foot across the dirt and willed the earth to slide around, slipping Aang onto his bottom. Heh. That'd teach him. Aang chuckled as he rose to his feet, _phwif, phwif,_ dusting off his pants.

"Wow," he murmured as he got closer. _Fwump._ He plopped himself down in front of Toph. "You look so different like that, Toph. It looks nice." Oh, great, yea. Let's all tell the _blind_ girl how nice she _looks._ Real helpful.

But this was in fact what she did really want, deep down.

"Thanks, Twinkletoes. We should get Sugar Queen here to work on you, next."

"Huh?" Ha. Stumped the poor kid. "What...?"

"I don't need to see to _feel_ how ugly you are today," she teased with a snicker. He slapped her on the shoulder as a counter, and Katara huffed.

"All right, guys, I need Toph to stay still here, OK?" Her annoyance was drenched in syrupy sweetness when she spoke. Like dipping an angry hornet in honey.

Toph and Aang shared a quiet, awkward moment with the shared atmosphere of 'oops, we just got yelled at.' After the dust settled, Katara made a request.

"Aang, look at Toph's eyes and tell her what you think."

Again with the confused silence.

"She's trying to convince me that they're _pretty,_ " Toph explained dully.

"Huh," Aang muttered. What the hell did that mean? She could feel his breath on her face, her bangs ever so slightly shifted as he sighed in deep thought, surely only a couple inches away. _Skretch-skretch,_ he scratched his cheek. "OK," he proclaimed. "I got it." He 'got' it? What was there to-whoa, wait-he had grabbed her right hand and pressed her palm into the meteor rock on her left wrist. Between Katara's weaving, Aang's proximity to her and his hand on hers, and then on top of that thinking about Sokka, she was feeling extremely cramped and uncomfortable by all of this.

"All right," Aang began, keeping her hand pressed into the stone. "Make this stone into a ball." He let her go. She tugged her hand up, her fingertips locked into the energies of the rock. She easily peeled the stone from her wrist and balled it into her fist. She carried out this precise act, forming it into an exactly shaped sphere, with minimal effort. Yea, she was good. "OK, great!" Aang made her tighten her fingers around it. "This rock...Think of how this rock feels: smooth and clean and round, and different than most other rocks, right?" She nodded quickly, eager to find out where this was going. "How this stone feels in your hand, right now," Aang insisted. " _That_ is how it feels when someone looks at your eyes."

"Really?" she murmured in awe, running her fingers around the stone. If what Aang said was really true, maybe her useless eyes were good for _something_ after all.

"Absolutely. I'm sure of it," he insisted with that lisp of his.

"Wow, Aang," Katara mused, "That actually makes sense." Hell yea it made sense, and it was awesome.

"Thanks," Toph mumbled, a bit surprised and embarrassed by the whole thing. Did _Sokka_ feel that way about her eyes? He wouldn't tell her, even if he did. Maybe he'd like her new hair - he suggested it, after all. After she'd adjusted to it, she had decided that she loved Aang's hands dancing around hers, but she had wished that they had been was Sokka's rough, worn hands instead.

"So why do you care so much about being pretty?" Aang wondered. He was certainly perplexed. Katara seemed sneaky but Aang was just weirded out. What was wrong with maybe trying to act a little girly from time to time, huh?

"Pff, I dont," she denied as quickly as possible. She huffed irritably, the tingling of her bangs blowing around serving as a slight distraction. Geez, what the hell? Couldn't a girl just try something different?

"Uhhhhh huh." Aang didn't sound convinced. "Ya know, Toph, there's nothing wrong with going after a boy you like." There was that devious taunting in his tone.

"Even if I _did_ like someone," Toph proposed crossly, "it's not like there's much I could do about it."

"Why _not_?" Aang wondered, genuinely baffled. Katara ran her hands along Toph's head, her work complete.

"B-because," Toph answered simply. Crap. That didn't make much sense. Need to follow up. "...What if you knew it'd never work out?"

"Didn't we just talk about standing your ground?" Aang pointed out, poking her in the forehead with his finger. Ow-Hey-Quit it. "You never know until you go for it. I mean..." There was an awkward pause. _Skiff._ He kicked his foot through the grass, and she could feel his heart-rate elevate. "That's what I did." _Thip. Thip. Smirtch._ Blaaaaaah! Again with the kissing. Toph flopped onto her stomach in the grass, resting her cheek in a palm. Her elbow dug itself slightly into the earth for comfort. _Fwumph._ And now Aang was laying beside her.

"So who is it?" Aang probed in a whisper.

"That's exactly what I wanted to know," Katara pointed out as she rested herself back onto the rock she had been braiding from.

Toph groaned in frustration, but felt somehow relieved that they didn't seem to realize the answer to their own question. But the way Katara spoke...she _might._ And that kind of worried her.

"It's not The Duke, is it?" Aang guessed.

"What the hell?" Toph growled, rolling onto her back and tossing her hands up in the air. "I don't even _remember_ this kid! Did we have a thing I was never aware of?"

She could sense something strange in the air. Those two were probably exchanging some visual message she couldn't decipher. She hated it when they did that.

"I-I dunno," Aang muttered. "I just...I was just shooting in the dark, I guess."

"No kidding," Toph grumbled, turning onto her side, facing away from the two of them.

"You need to be more optimistic," Aang suggested. _Yoink._ Ow. That was her ear. Why was he tugging on it? "Whoever he is, what have you got to lose, right?"

Um, gee, how about everything we've built together?

"Well, Aang, m-maybe you should look at it this way," Katara advised. "Remember how you felt when...I wasn't ready?"

" _Yea,_ " Aang replied, immediately bummed. "That...didn't exactly feel so great..."

"Maybe she's just afraid of that happening, too. I mean...It _did_ make things awkward for a little while, you know?"

"Hm," he hummed in response. It was practically an admission that she was right. "But I didn't give up," Aang pointed out. "And besides, that was different. With all of the stuff we've been through, I mean...Yea, I was worried that it could make things weird. But Toph doesn't have to worry about that, right?" He slapped her on the shoulder and she sighed to herself. She didn't know when her face had started blushing but she'd be damned if she let them see it. He chuckled at her lack of response. "It's OK, I get it," he said.

Uh, no? You really don't. Stop trying. Seriously.

"You're just shy. If you need me to talk with whoever this guy is, I will. I'm your brother now, after all. I should be doing favors like that for you...or something. Right?"

Part of her was kind of grateful for the offer. That was sweet. As much as she often put him down for being so sensitive and...not tough...Toph had to admit that Aang seemed to try hard to help people out and that deserved respect.

"Thanks," she replied quietly, trying not to sound as hostile. "I don't even know if I like him or not, though, so...Don't worry about it, OK?"

"All right," Aang casually agreed.

"Just don't forget that we're here for you, Toph," Katara added.

"I know."

Well, at least Aang was clueless, but...Toph was starting to feel like Katara knew and was just pretending like she didn't...Either way, she was quite pissed off with this whole situation. What could she even do? And now a damned splinter had been wedged into her mind from this conversation: Aang's words, _But I didn't give up._


	11. Like a Sister

Toph nearly cringed at Suki's gasp. It was a gasp of delight but she abhorred it, anyway.

"Wow, that's so _cute!_ "

Toph complacently stood still, hands on her hips, allowing Suki to run her hands along the thick braid that ran down her back. Katara had done a good job - it wasn't too tight but it certainly didn't feel like it'd be coming loose any time soon.

"Thanks," she mumbled, uninterested in Suki's opinion.

"Hey, Sokka, come over here," Suki called. "Come take a look at Toph's new hairdo Katara did."

Toph intently observed his approach, savoring each footstep. _  
thip thip. thip. Thip. Thip._

"Ohhh-hoho, hey!" Sokka greeted. "Looks like ya took my advice, huh?"

"Yea," Toph nodded in reply, struggling to contain her anxiety. "How does it look?"

"It looks good. Very sharp," Sokka decided, in very much the same way he'd comment on a blade. He ruffled her bangs around.

" _Crawww._ "  
"Hawky likes it, too. See? That wasn't so bad, right?"

"Nah, it was fine," Toph replied calmly. He didn't seem all too taken aback as she had hoped. Maybe it didn't look as good as Katara and Aang had led her to believe? Like she'd know the difference, anyway...

"I think it looks very pretty, Toph," Suki complimented.  
Well, whoop-dee-doo-dah-day. Didn't ask for _your_ opinion, did I?

"We ready to hit the sky yet?" Aang called from the direction of the massive lump of Appa resting about twenty feet in front of them.

"I'm ready," Toph declared, jumping at the opportunity to stop focusing on Sokka's lack of being-impressed. She eagerly propped herself up with earth and hopped into Appa's saddle. "Where are we headed?"

"Makin' a stop back at Ba Sing Se," Sokka informed her, _Thlumph,_ tossing his sack beside her.

What? Ba Sing Se? Didn't they just _leave_ Ba Sing Se? Why were they going back there? Sokka must have noticed the confusion in her expression as he explained the reason.

"Yea, it's been a few days and we should probably stock up before we head out for the South Pole."

_South Pole?_ Had she not been paying attention when this trip had been planned?

"W-whoa, wait up," she called, leaning over the edge of the saddle to talk down at Sokka. "Since when are we going to the South _Pole_?"

"Katara and I are thinking we might want to go see our dad," Sokka explained. "It's not like we're forcing anyone to go with us, we're stopping back home first. So if you're not up for it, you could just hang out there for a while."

Oh, pff. Yea, great. With _who?_ If Sokka wanted to go, Suki would go. If Katara wanted to go, _Aang_ would go, too. No, she wasn't going to just sit around by herself - though the fact that Sokka acted like her being on her own was perfectly chill was...kind of cool, in a way. It made her feel kind of grown up, if they thought she'd be OK by herself for a while.

"OK," she responded thoughtfully with a shrug. Maybe she _would_ stay by herself? She'd have to make up her mind. Her mood-swinging over the past couple of days felt like a result of her company. She knew what Katara would say: ' _You're in an emotional state right now. Loneliness is just going to make it worse.'_ Not to mention that the frozen glaciers of the home of the Water Tribe didn't sound all too appealing. Bleck, this whole situation meant that either way she'd have reason to be grouchy. What else was new?

As she pondered her options, she tried to relax herself for the long flight to come. They couldn't have been terribly far from Ba Sing Se by air. A day or two, tops.

"So have you gotten used to flying Team Avatar style?" Sokka asked Suki as the two settled in together.

"Not quite yet," she admitted. "But it's something I can definitely see happening."

"So can I," he whispered back in a tone quite out of Toph's range of familiarity. Their heartbeats spiked. It disgusted her to her core, yet she couldn't stop paying attention to it.

"Yip-Yip!"

_FWOOOOOOOoooooooosh!_

The world below vanished and they were encompassed by that all-too-familiar cloud of _whrrrr_ and _foooooo_ and _sssshh_ all blended together. Sokka and Suki were whispering to each other, she _knew_ they were, but the rushing air made it hard to make out the words, she'd have to really narrow it down in order to-

"Hey, Toph." _Jeez!_ Oh, whew. When did Katara get there? Or had she been right there the whole time?

"You know, we don't _have_ to go see our tribe right away. I know you're probably still feeling very confused and upset." A comforting hand pressed down on Toph's head, stroking her now clean hair habitually. "Sokka's just..." There was a pause. An odd one. She couldn't describe how it was odd, something just seemed...off. "Well, you know how he is: he sets his mind to something and he wants to get it taken care of. Ever since the festival in Ba Sing Se ended he's been wanting to go back to our tribe and spend time with our dad."

"You want to see your dad, too, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Katara answered. "But I can be patient. The war is over: our father isn't going anywhere," she noted with a laugh. It was kind of an involuntary laugh, like she was still coming to terms with that idea: that she could just go see her father whenever she wanted for a change. "He's fine, he doesn't need us right now. But you _do_...don't you?" Katara said it in that way that was conclusive, that she already knew this was the case.

"Mm," Toph hummed with a shrug. That hand continuing to run across her head was pleasant and reassuring. Katara would really hold off on seeing her own father - her flesh and blood _father_ \- just to try and help her feel better? Sokka would sacrifice his boomerang and his sword to save her life, which was awesome, but...what was he willing to do for her _happiness_? And why did she care so much to know?

* * *

The following day and a half was long and slow, with little to do but dwell on the many thoughts that had been brought to Toph's attention over the day and a half prior. Lost in the endless fog of noise from the wind all around, Toph's mind retreated to her recent memories. She hid from the bitter nothingness: swimming with Sokka, crying into Aang's chest, falling asleep to Katara's heartbeat.

Partway during the first day of their trip back, Sokka and Suki had found their faces magnetically attached, only for Katara to scold them apart. This had made her realize that she and Aang had been specifically less mushy than usual. It took some time, but it managed to click in her head that the two of them were trying to be considerate of her comment of feeling awkward. That night had been bizarre, as Toph, sleeping with Katara and Aang once again, found it practically impossible to _not_ pay attention to the vibrations coming from the nearby tent. They didn't carry enough force for her to tell exactly what was going on, but enough to know it likely involved all manner of kissing and rubbing and gross things. How gross, exactly, she couldn't decipher - likely for the best. All the same, it was like trying to fall asleep with a rooster-cat meowing every few seconds. She found herself wrapping around Katara, clinging to the _Thum-thump_ 's to drown out the 'racket' from the neighboring tent.

The next thing she was conscious of was what sounded like Aang's voice.

"...aoufejn...wolkdj...iweyhrfn..."

What? Huh?

_Ffffffffffff...  
Whhrrrr...  
_"...have to...before...because..."  
 _Ssssss..._  


Wow. Her body was taking its time waking up.

"Ugh?"

"Haha, good morning," Aang cheerfully welcomed her. She couldn't comprehend what time of day it could've been. The altitude made everything chilly.

"Didn't sleep too well, did you, Toph?" Katara sympathetically wondered. "We tried waking you but you wouldn't budge so we had to drag you up here!"

"Muhhhh," Toph moaned, turning her body around to get comfortable. Hm. This pillow felt a lot like...Aang's bony lap...? No wonder it wasn't the most comfy thing. Her friends giggled at her inability to speak properly.

"Aw, poor girl," Katara teased. "She probably couldn't deal with your snoring last night, Aang," she picked.

"H-Hey, I don't snore that bad!" Aang protested, seeming somewhat flustered by the remark.

"Yea you do," Sokka disagreed flatly from somewhere behind them.

"We there yet?" Toph managed to grumble out, desperately trying to find a comfortable spot on the mass of stickly limbs.

"Nope," Sokka informed. "But we should be there around sun down."

Toph yawned and scratched her stomach before rolling off of Aang's uncomfortable lap and into the secure leather saddle she was familiar with. With her face half buried in leather she groggily eked out a remark.

Well, good, 'cuz I'm gettin' sick of flying.  
"Whh grd cuz mm get sicko fling..."

She sighed a relaxed, peaceful breath as a bony hand scratched at her head. She could really start getting used to all of this scratching and petting and hugging and such. If this was what Momo and Appa experienced every day, she'd gladly trade lives with them every now and then. But it'd be real nice if Sokka was following Aang and Katara's lead here...

"Why is she so sleepy?" Suki asked with a tint of concern. Toph was in that strange netherworld of consciousness where she could hear what was going on but couldn't really move herself to do anything about it. "Was she up late?" Ohhh, she was up late, all right, all thanks to that stupid warrior princess seducing Sokka throughout the night.

"Mm-hm," Katara nodded. "I think she was having trouble sleeping for some reason. Probably just everything that's happened. I'm sure she has a lot on her mind."

Whatever. Screw my parents. Don't even care anymore about those stupid freaking losers.

"Yea," Suki murmured. Yuck, that tone was distinctly shrouded in pity. "Poor thing. I can't believe her parents would do something so horrible to her..." Oh, shut _up._ Don't need your pity, don't care what you think.

"I know," Katara agreed with a sigh. "I'm not sure what to think of her parents anymore. I thought I understood where they were coming from: apparently, I was wrong." Yea, you _were._ Can't believe I listened to you. Stupid letter.

"At least she's got us now," Sokka chimed in casually from the direction of Appa's head - he must have been piloting. "I mean, that's what matters at this point, right?" Whatever...

"Definitely," Aang vigrously agreed.  
Hey, wait, no, don't stop with the scratching. That felt nice...

"Now, who knows if that's a _good_ thing," Sokka conceded. "I mean...Come on...This is _us_ we're talkin' about."  
" _Squak!_ "  
"I know, Hawky, I know! We're not worthy of your presence."

"..can't believe...name like _Hawky_.."  
".. _my_ bird...what I want."  
 _Ffffffffffff..._  
"...want is _stupid_..haha..."  
 _Whhrrrr..._  
"..ohsyh...yihg..owiybcs..."  
 _Ssssss..._

* * *

"I thought we were supposed to keep traveling," Toph complained to Katara as the bustling sounds of Ba Sing Se had finally become a dull hum below. "What about the cliff diving? And, I dunno, the fishing? And...all of that? And-and what's with the _South Pole?_ When did we plan on _that_?"

"We didn't." She felt a firm grip on her shoulder as Katara whispered in her ear, trying to calm her down. "I..." There was some hesitation. Something was up. "This wasn't my idea," she precluded. "If you really want to know, I'll explain after we get home."

"O-OK," Toph mumbled, confused and suddenly complacent. It didn't sound dire, but it sounded like she wasn't supposed to talk about it. What the hell was the deal?

"Don't worry, it's not bad," Katara insisted with a warmth Toph was quickly coming to appreciate, rather than abhor. The pressure on her shoulder let up as Aang yelled out a 'Yah!' to Appa. _Fwip-crack!_ She felt her stomach lurch as vertigo set in - they were heading in to land. The different voices of the air howled through her ears as her hands tightened around the edges of the saddle.

_FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!_  
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...  
WWhhhooooooo...

_THUD._ The world quaked into existence in an instant, all kinds of shapes scattered about. Eager to be on solid ground, Toph lept from Appa's back, and the city sharpened around her when her feet touched down. Blurbs and blobs became buildings and merchants. She stretched out her arms, stood up on her toes, and wiggled her fingers around. It was kind of nice to be back home without anything in particular to worry about. No underground fighting, no stupid parents, no Fire Nation war, no festival: no _rules._ Awesome.

A few minutes later, the gang had sorted themselves into their little house that had been assigned to them when they had originally arrived - a gracious gift from the timid king for the Avatar. She could hear shuffling as Suki unpacked people's things, Aang played around with Momo, and Sokka started clattering around in the kitchen area.

"Can I help?" Toph wondered, oddly interested in trying to be useful. _Fuu. Clack. Fuu. Clack_. He was inspecting the cupboards. _Frrf frrf._ Hawky ruffled his feathers, perched on Sokka's shoulder.

"Actually," Sokka slowly began, _thip-thip,_ tapping his foot thoughtfully. "I was thinking of cooking us up some chicken and rice but we'd need some chicken."

"Toph and I will go and get some," Katara offered eagerly, nudging Toph's head into a sideways hug of sorts.

"Sounds great," Sokka acknowledged, still digging around the kitchen. _Clitter, tak, scuff._ "I'll get some water boiling. Hey, Sweetie, would ya mind getting some green beans from the garden out back?"

"Sure thing, Dear, Suki obiently complied.

_Uuugghh._

"Let's go," Katara eased with a pat on the back.

"Hey, Aang," Sokka requested as they made their way out. "Can you go get us some water?"

"What's that?"  
"Some water, can you go grab some? There's a bucket right over here."  
"Sorry, I can't hear you."  
"... _Please?_ "  
"You _can_ learn manners, Sokka! Heheh."  
 _Cluk. FoooooOOOOOOMMM!  
_ And there he went, speeding on past them, ruffling their clothes and hair around. It felt weird to Toph, having her hair arranged in a way that caused it to flop all around. She had to twist her head to put thick braid back in place.

"Is that boy making you act nice?" Suki teased, her voice faint as Toph and Katara were already outside.

"It's an uphill battle," Sokka joked casually.  
" _Craw?_ "  
"Well, ex _cuse me,_ Hawky. We mortals can't be perfect like you."  
Toph found herself smirking at his idiocy, but it was wiped from her face when she heard a snicker from Suki. Blech.

She decided to ignore the remnants of their voices and focus on Katara as they made their way into the busy streets. _Ponce-ponce,_ a kid bounced a leather ball into the ground, his friends chasing after him. A customer and a merchant debated the worth of a dozen catfish-salmon. _Chunk-ka-chunk,_ a man wheeled around his cart full of vegetables.

**_Shacrashak!  
_ ** __Flop-lop-lopple-lop._ _

"My cabbages!" wailed a voice from the scene of the cart's collision.

_Chinka-chh-clink-chink-chh-clinka._ Toph almost felt like dancing to that sound: the lovely coins jingling in Katara's waist pouch were like a choir.

"Soooo what's the deal?" she bluntly asked as they hit the market square.

"Right," Katara muttered with a sigh. "Sokka didn't want you to know because...He doesn't want you to think he's trying to...to...'get in your business,' as he put it." She sounded kind of annoyed. "He thinks that you'd get upset if you felt like he was 'babying' you or something."

"He thinks that's what _you're_ doing, huh?"

She huffed through her nose in a rather cross fashion. "Yea," she grumbled. Her irritation crumbled into worry. "Uh...I'm...I'm not _doing_ that, am I?"

"Baha," Toph chuckled, slapping her stomach. "Of course you do, Sugar Queen - some times. But, well...it's not always bad, ya know?"

"I'm glad to hear that." Toph couldn't help but smile a little at the relief in her voice. Somehow Katara's intense concern was causing a reciprocation of some kind.

"But what's up, anyway?" Toph asked.

"Oh, well, it's...Sokka-well, I mean, all of us-we feel bad with what happened with your family. Sokka had this idea after Aang told him how he looks at you like a sister." They had reached their destination, the scent of slabs of freshly cut chicken somewhat luring Toph's stomach into hunger. _Chinkalinklink. Calishhink._ Katara handed money to the merchant.

"Thank you, ladies," his gruff voice greeted. He was a large man, Toph could tell. His girth seemed to convey a gentleness somehow. Nice old guy. She recognized his shape and voice a little. They'd probably bought food from him before.

"Have a good day," Katara sweetly called back, an entire raw chicken in tow.

"So," she grunted, getting a good grip on the slippery thing, "Sokka decided that if you're like a sister to us, then...maybe it'd be a good idea for you to meet our dad. Since...he'd kind of be like _your_ dad now...If you wanted."

Toph remembered the strong leader who had helped them invade the Fire Nation during the eclipse and the many stories Sokka had told of his brave deeds. The idea of such a noble warrior being some kind of new father in her life was...kind of awesome.

"Wh...-?" She was a bit speechless. Was it really as simple as all that? Oh, looks like your parents hate you. Here ya go! Have a brother! Have a sister! Have a dad! It just seemed too...easy. "W-well, why have you been saying I don't have to go, then?"

"We want to see our dad anyway," Katara explained. "And Sokka didn't want you to feel like we were forcing you to go." Huh. For how he had been acting, maybe Sokka _did_ care just as much as Aang and Katara did... "Soooo...That's...what's up."

"So you guys are changing all of yours plans...just for me."

"Mm-hm! B-but don't let anyone know I told you," she quickly spat out.

"Don't worry, Sugar Queen, secret's safe with me."

After they arrived home, Sokka and Suki set to prepare dinner while Katara set some water to boil in a kettle.

"It's gonna be a while before food is ready," Sokka announced. _Choppa-choppa-choppa._ He was dicing up something with precision, each stroke identical. _Choppa-choppa-CHUNK. "Gaaahhh!"_ he shrieked in abject horror. Toph's heart froze up - had he just cut his cute little finger?

"Wh-what's wrong? Are you OK?" Suki cried in fright. _Wibble, waaahhll..._ Katara was bending water from a bucket, likely to heal whatever damage had been done.

" _Pffff!_ Man, you guys are _easy,_ " Sokka struggled out through a hearty guffaw. Whew! So he was fine. Just _stupid._ So...perfectly fine.

_Slap! Smack!_ The girls had just belted him. "Ow-ow-ow! Geez! Seriously, you guys need to lighten up a little!"

"You should probably go take Momo outside," Suki suggested through a sigh as the creature sounded like he was scrambling around. A small crunch indicated he had just stolen an uncooked green bean.

"All right," Aang merrily offered. _Fwohhhh-ohohoh.  
"Greee!" Swumph. _  
"Gotcha!" _Slirp slirp._ "Haha, c'mon, buddy." _Tip-tip-tip-tip-tip._

Toph tapped her foot a few times, trying to identify where that money pouch had gone. Ah-ha, there it was. She shuffled over and nonchalantly slipped a few coins out of the pouch. She rubbed her fingers against them to check their weight and texture. Yep, oughtta be more than enough.

"Hey, Missy," Katara suspiciously called. _Eep._ "What's that for?"

"I-I was just thinkin' of going out to go get some tea before dinner," Toph blurted out. "Uh, please?"

Katara giggled at her nervousness, running her soft hand through the girl's bangs. She flipped Toph's braid, likely to check that it was 'presentable.'

"It's fine, Toph," she assured. "But I'm about to make tea, you don't have to go out to get some."

"No offense," Toph objected, "Your tea's OK. But it's got _nothin'_ on the stuff I'm gonna get."


	12. Listen to Yourself

Passing through the satin cloth door felt like diving into a hot spring. The shop was warm and soothing, the many scents of finely brewed teas swirling through her nostrils like a thick, creamy soup. Various chatter filled her ears, and each step she took reminded her of how practically every seat in the house was occupied. She savored the chilled, smooth shards of stone embedded in the tile floor beneath her feet. She knew this type of earth very well - jade. Her mother always liked to wear it. This was definitely the right place. Where was he? She had to find him.

She noticed that there were a couple of people standing near the back, probably tending to various teas. She honed in on their voices as she made her way over.

"...so happy for you!" A girl, gentle but strong-willed.

"Thanks. I'm...glad that you've found work." A boy, gruff and slightly awkward.

"I have a funny feeling some one put in a good word for me," the girl slyly pointed out.

"Hey," Toph blurted out. "Where's your manager?"

"Guh-" the boy choked out. It was subtle, she almost didn't hear it, but there it was - definitely a nervous little grunt before a pause. She tapped her feet impatiently to get a grasp on the boy's figure. She was pretty certain she knew who it was but not one-hundred percent.

"Ih-is there something we can help you with?" the girl recovered the uncomfortable silence.

"I want some tea," Toph demanded calmly, pressing her hands into her hips. "But I want your manager to make it himself."

"Oh," the girl murmured. "Well, that...That can be arranged, Ma'am, please let me fetch him for you." _Tippa tippa tippa_ and off she scurried.

The boy cleared his throat and forced out a deeper voice. "He, uh, he's just...He'll be back."

Toph made sure to point her head up at where she perceived the boy's face to be. She cocked her eyebrow at him, and could hear him shuffling a straw hat around.

"You...you can tell it's me, can't you?" he grumbled in his normal voice, defeated.

"Yeeehp," Toph replied arrogantly. "What are you _doing_ here, Prince Crispy?"

"Hey," he growled. "That's _Lord_ Crispy, and-...Wait, _Crispy?_ What? Is that-? Is it because of my _face_?"

She nodded, plastering a wide, mischievous grin over herself like a streaking paintbrush stroke.

"That's-" he seethed, trembling. Man, that really got under his skin, huh? Awesome. "I don't think I deserved that," he coolly retorted, his body calmed. Whoa. She was impressed with his temper management.

"Whatever," she dismissed slyly. "What's up, Zuko? Aren't you supposed to be, like...I dunno...Watching over the freaking _Fire Nation?_ "

He hushed her with a "Ssh!" _Crickle._ His straw hat got fiddled with again. "Be quiet," he commanded in a whisper. "No one knows I'm here." She giggled. This was quite amusing.

"Great job you're doing at being a leader," she whispered, jabbing him in his hip as she leaned against the cupboard at his side. "Up and _leave_ the country right after you-"

"I came here to see my uncle," he firmly explained, silencing her jest. "I needed to see him after everything that's happened. We had unfinished business to take care of. I was going to try to convince him to come back with me, but..." He trailed off, almost with a sigh. It was strange, as Toph couldn't quite tell if this made him upset or not.

"No deal, huh?"

"No," he muttered with a tinge of melancholy. "But that's fine. He's found what he's wanted here with this shop. I'm happy for him."

"You're gonna visit him all of the time like this, right?" Toph checked in what was more of a demand.

"I am," he replied with that rare warmth he was occasionally capable of. "And I wanted him to know that before I started cleaning up the damned _mess_ my father left." A bitter satisfaction resonated from his words. His tone was merely warm - not cold as coal, not flaming like a bonfire, but warm, like glowing embers.

"You guys really care about each other, huh?" Toph mused solemnly.

"Mm," he hummed in reply. "My father and my sister... _Puh_ ," he spouted defiantly. "But Iroh...He's the only family I've ever really had since I lost my mother."

Toph felt a knot in her stomach tie up. I lost _my_ mother. I lost _my_ father. They don't want me. They're not my parents anymore. You know what? Screw them!

"That's...better than no one, right?" Toph mumbled awkwardly. She had been trying to mimic what Aang had said earlier that day but couldn't seem to do it right. He was better at this stuff than she was.

"It most certainly is," Zuko agreed, leaning against the cupboard beside her. "So," he changed the subject, "What are _you_ doing here, Bei Fong? Is the Avatar in town?"

"Hmph," she snorted, slapping her arms over her chest. "My name's not Bei Fong. And yea, he is."

"What? I was certain that-"

"You're not the only one who's old man ditched 'em," she pointed out crossly.

"Ah." Yea, that's right. Don't know what to say to that, huh? "I'm sorry you have to share this burden." What? Share? What the-? We don't share _anything._

"Maybe if you had listened to me back when we were on that beach a while back you'd have known," she snapped. This was kind of a lie, since _she_ hadn't known at that point. But she was grouchy about the situation and wanted to make him know damned well that he had been a jerk to her when she had tried making better friends with him. Everyone _else_ got their shot and he had just totally blown her off. "Remember what I told you that day?"

"Uhhh-"

"It was the worst field trip _ever_ , _"_ she pouted. "Know what? I was wrong. _This_ trip has been the worst field trip ever."

"I'm sorry," Zuko pleaded, embarrassed and confused. "I meant no disrespect, there were just more important-"

"Whatever! OK? Obviously I wasn't as important as _everyone else_ was. Doesn't even matter 'cuz ya couldn't have even helped."

"My, my," came a slow, slightly raspy voice. "Did you come here to harass my customers, Little One?" She loved his voice so very much. It was mellow, soothing, and wise. He spoke slowly, thoughtfully, like every word he said was important somehow and deserved proper care.

"I-I-" she stammered, standing upright, arms slapping to her sides. She turned herself in the direction of that charming voice. "N-no, Sir, I was, I just-"

"Wahaha!" he belted out in that flaming, thick laugh of his. She could feel his hand pat his stomach. Whoa. Wait. That didn't seem right. She _knew_ that voice, but...That body was _not_ the same as the man she remembered...Ah, that was right. He had trimmed up a bit, hadn't he?

"Calm yourself, Child, I am not upset." He bent down, and the sound of his whisper reverberated from his hand toward her. "But you should not be so hard on Lord Zuko, he has many burdens to bear right now." His very presence was assuring, safe, but also somewhat intimidating in a way - a good way. Like it was just inherently a good idea to listen to him. She tucked her hands behind her back in courtesy and embarrassment.

"Sorry, Mr. Iroh," she apologized, humbled by his grace.

"I am not the one to whom you owe an apology," the man's slow, methodical tone observed. She frowned and knuckled Zuko in the leg - not too hard, just hard enough to let him know she was still upset with him.

"Sorry, Crispy," she grumbled. He could hear him huff through his nostrils.

"Now then." Iroh stepped past them. _Fwouff._ He ignited a fire beneath a kettle. "You've come to partake in the delights of freshly brewed tea, have you not, Little One?"  
 _Little_ One? What? I'm totally not... _Blah._ Fine. Maybe I am...

"Y-yea."

She could feel Zuko step off with that girl out to the back of the shop.  
 _Tippa tippa tippa._  
Pad pad pad.  
She kind of regretted the abrupt stop in their conversation and hoped they could finish it later.

"And what flavor of tea does the young lady desire?"

"Lemon."

"Hm, I believe some Lemon Balm will do you well. Just a touch of minty flavor." Meh, whatever works. She just wanted lemon. _Clok. Ffss._ Sounded like he had taken some herbs from a jar and dropped them into a tea cup.

"Ahh," Iroh mused. "I can see your mind is very troubled today, my dear."

"Pff, yea, that's _one_ way of puttin' it." She blew at her bangs lazily, plopping herself down onto the cool tile floor. She probably looked odd like that, sitting on the floor in the back of the shop, but, as was usually the case, she could care less how she looked.

"I am sorry to hear that," Iroh sympathized. "Are you in need of counsel, my Child?"

She scrunched her nose up at the pungent aromas of the teas near by. He was a sharp old fart, wasn't he?

"I dunno." She shrugged apathetically.  
Yes-yes-yes-yes-please-please!

"Mmm," he hummed deeply. "Perhaps some hot tea shall clear your head. The mind is a powerful thing, but even the mighty Sequoia tree requires the same water, the same sunlight, and the same earth to grow - just like every other tree." Huh? What was he getting at, talking about giant trees?

"Uhhh, sure? I guess."

He chuckled at her. She felt kind of stupid somehow. Clearly she was missing the point.

"No matter how strong you may be, Little One," he advised, "you are still _human_." Oh- _ohhhhh_. OK. Got it now.

 _Clok. Ffss._ Another tea cup? She could feel the footsteps of a stranger entering the building.

"Jin?" Iroh called out loudly to the back door. _Tippa-tippa-tippa_ "Ah, there you are, my dear. Please see to our customer, would you?"

"Yes, Sir." The girl approached the customer. "Welcome to the Jasmine Dragon," her slightly distant voice greeted. Toph tuned out whatever came after that.

 _Ffffffffssssss._ The fire on her tea went out, and Iroh gently poured the boiling water into the two cups. _GLLLLLLllluuupp. _GLLLLLLllluuupp.__

"A proper tea takes time to brew," Iroh informed her. "Perhaps you should take this opportunity to continue your extremely enlightening discussion with my nephew?" Ohhh, he was a sly devil. She hung her head and dragged herself back onto her feet.

"Suuure," she whined, making her way to the back exit. She could sense Zuko's weight propped against the outside of the building. That crazy Iroh somehow made her feel guilty about being a jerk when no one else could.

"Hey," she grunted, slamming her back up beside him.

"Hey," his gruff voice flatly greeted back. "My uncle sent you out here, didn't he?"

"Sure did."

"He's a wise man. You'd do well to listen to what he says." The way Zuko said it conveyed both a sense of respect for Iroh but also a bit of a jab at Toph for getting scolded at by him. "Part of the reason I'm still here is because I need his guidance before I try...well..."

"Running a country?"

"Y-yea..." That particular word was weighed down by stress and fear and uncertainty, all compacted into one syllable. She kind of felt sorry for him, if only briefly, as Iroh was clearly correct - he _did_ have a lot to worry about right now.

"Gssmmsrry." The sounds were forced between her teeth unwillingly.

"What?"

"I guess I'm sorry," she repeated in exasperation. "But I'm still ticked off at you..."

"Why?" he demanded firmly. "What did I do to you? Was it-? Is this about when I burned your feet? Because that was an _accident,_ I thought-"

"Noooo," Toph moaned, slapping her forehead. "It's...That's... _Ugh._ I don't _care._ Accident, I get it. Whatever. No big. I'm talking about how you would ignore me and stuff all of the time!"

 _Whump._ That was his head smacking against the building and he sighed dully. Toph continued her assault. "Oh, hey, let's go to a volcano with Aang and meet freaking _dragons._ Let's go to the big prison in the boiling lake and break people out with Sokka! Let's go seek revenge on the guy who killed Katara's-"

"We didn't seek revenge! We actually-"

" _Whatever!_ I don't _care!_ When we finally get to hang out, I try and, like..." She was scrambling her arms around haphazardly, to try and express herself. "Try to make friends with you and tell you stuff and you totally blow me off! You took _everyone else_ to go do something awesome and you just ignored me! What about me, huh? Why'd you always act like I didn't matter?"

"Sounds to me like you're just upset and you're taking it out on everyone," Zuko scowled. " _Listen_ to yourself!" He raised his pitch to sound girly. "What about meeee?" Toph would've found his gruff girliness to be hilarious if he wasn't being an asswipe to her. "I'm sorry I was more focused on ending a _war_ with my father and helping find the _one_ kid who could save the world, all right? Didn't realize your life story - what little of it there is so far - was a bigger priority!"

What a fuckin' snot, acting like he's all high and mighty. He's just...Stupid. Yea.

"Hmph." She smashed the back of her skull into the building as well. That was about all she could think to do.

"Are you finished feeling sorry for yourself?" Zuko wondered, settling down. " _Trust_ me, you're never going to feel better until you are. I've been down that road, kid."

"My parents disowned me," she blurted out of the blue, seeming to ignore what he had just said. She had been waiting to tell him this whole time. "So I guess I know how you felt."

"Maybe so," Zuko conceded, without the slightest bit of pity. "I know it's not easy, but you've got to get over it. Stop caring what they think of you. Find your _own_ honor, your own way. Otherwise it's just going to keep eating at you."

"How the hell do I just...get _over_ it?" she demanded, pounding her fist.

"I needed my Uncle," Zuko noted. "You're friends with the _Avatar._ And what about Katara and Sokka?"

"Yea," she huffed, sliding down and sitting in a bunch, knees tucked in.

"I'm telling you," he insisted, pulling his weight off the wall. "The longer you dwell on it, the more you're doing yourself and those who care about you a disservice."

They shared a moment of tranquility and deep thought, leaving her little choice but to ponder his advice. Freakin' crap. He was right. She hated this. He was being a jerk and treating her like a-  
Maybe he's just making you see the truth you refuse to acknowledge?  
Wh-? Maybe. I guess.

 _Crinkle.  
PAD. PAD. Pad. Pad.  
_"Don't make the same mistake I did, Toph," he warned. _  
pad. pad. pad pad_  
"Listen to those who _act_ like your family, not those who pretend to."  
 _Swuf._ He passed through into the shop.

Well. That hadn't gone as she had planned. She'd went in thinking she was all ready to put him down, and yet, somehow, _she_ ended up feeling like the jerk in the situation. Wasn't she supposed to be trying to act _not_ like a jerk more often? Grrr. Failing at that. She was feeling quite stubborn and, frankly, confused. She didn't want to care, but she _did._ More and more each day now.

Maybe he's right and I'm just causing more trouble to my friends than I ought to.  
Maybe. It's something to consider, isn't it?  
Yea. I guess it is.


	13. My Uncle Iroh

Toph sat in a clump, her back pressed against the side of the Jasmine Dragon, processing what Zuko had just advised to her. What a jerk...Trying to, like, flip it around and make her look bad.

Damnit damnit _damnit_. Why does he have to be right, though?  
You should probably think about what he said.  
Yea, I should...

The sounds filtering out from the doorway to her left had been tuned out, but she decided to start focusing on them again. Clatters and slurps from tea drinkers were aplenty, a lake of idle conversation rolling over her. When she was able to lock down on Zuko and Iroh, she intently followed their conversation in whispers.

"She is still young, Nephew. Even when they mature, reason is not exactly their strong suit." Were they talking about girls or something?

"Ha, you don't need to tell _me._ I have one at home." Crispy had a girlfriend, didn't he? That weird depressing girl...Yea.

Toph had vague memories of her. They had shared some quality time together before going their separate ways after the war ended.

"Ahh, yes. Mai. I'm surprised she was so patient with you through all that has happened."

"Not as patient as you've been, Uncle," Zuko expressed with gratitude.

"You have proven to be worth the patience, Zuko - just as I knew you would. I am sure Mai feels the same way. How is she coping with your situation?"

"I think she's dealing with it better than I am," he muttered, laughing at himself. "To her, it's something that's curing her boredom. But I'm just not sure...I wanted to be a leader for so long. Now I am and I have no _idea_ what I'm doing."

"You will do well, Nephew. You will possess something few Fire Lords have: an understanding of being humbled by failure and correcting your own mistakes."

"I hope you're right." He sighed in contemplation and doubt. "I don't feel like I'm ready."

"We never do," Iroh said sagely. _Clakker clak._ "Now, then, I believe I have a customer waiting. Please continue catching up with your old friend."

"I'm not sure I'd say that we're friends, exactly..."

"You and Jin may have become acquainted under uncomfortable circumstances," Iroh observed, "But you are indeed friends. I can tell just by the way you look at each other. You should not trouble yourself with the past. She no longer does." _Tud. Tud. Tud._ He had big beefy footsteps.

What was that all about? So Zuko and that shop girl knew each other from before, huh? Little lovin' go on there? Yea, unlike me and _my_ stupid boy who's totally not into me 'cuz he's got some makeup ninja all over him. Great.

_Tud. Tud. Tud.  
_ He was heading her way.  
 _Swuff._

" _There_ you are, Child," he greeted. "Your tea is ready, my Dear. Would you care to join me?"

She could feel his thick form towering over her, inviting and calm.

"Sure." She pushed herself onto her feet. Yes, finally! The entire reason she had come here.

"Here you are," he indicated. She drummed her left toes a couple times to feel where his arm had extended, and carefully retrieved the cup and saucer from him. It was piping hot, so she had to be careful. The heat pressing into her palms was soothing. Guided by his _tuds,_ she followed him to a small spring behind the shop. It must have been where they got their water from. _Blubblebububgupgublubblugup..._

As Iroh got ready to set himself down, Toph slid her foot across the dirt, calling a bench of earth to rise up for the two of them. Iroh laughed and planted himself solidly onto the makeshift seat. Toph set her tea cup down and scooted herself onto the bench beside him. As she retrieved her cup, Iroh sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. Her senses suddenly oriented themselves to pay attention to the scents around her. That tree beside the spring must have been a willow based on its scent and structure. Her tea was strong and lemony, with just a touch of mint, as Iroh had indicated. She remembered how much she enjoyed mint - that coot had practically read her mind before she even knew what would hit the spot. The bubbling of the spring, the _skssssssssss ffffffffffffff_ of the swaying willow branches in the evening breeze, the soft dirt beneath her feet, the relaxing aroma of citrus and mint...

"It is quite beautiful, isn't it?" Iroh's crawling voice considered.

"Uh...If you say so," Toph grumbled. How would _she_ know? Was he picking on the fact that she couldn't see?

"You do not think it is?" Iroh inquired suspicipously. What was he getting at? And why did she feel like it'd somehow make sense in a minute?

"Not to be a jerk, but...Did you lose a few marbles during that big battle or somethin'? I can't _see._ I'm _blind._ "

He 'fufu'd' a few times. _Ssssppp. Clak._

"They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But who is to say it cannot be in the nose, the ears, the tongue, or the hands? Beauty is whatever pleases you, Child." Aaaand yep. Made sense now.

"Thennnn I guess it _is_ pretty beautiful out here tonight," she agreed slowly, still grasping the idea. Muscles flexing through the water. A hand scratching across her head. A heartbeat against her cheek.

"That is quite an interesting trinket you have there," Iroh observed. Huh?

She suddenly realized she had habitually started twitching her fingers to roll her bracelet around her wrist.

"O-Oh, this?" She melded it into a sphere - that perfect sphere that Aang had made her study - and handed it to him. "It's something a friend gave to me. It's a piece of a rock that fell from the sky."

"Mmm," Iroh appreciatively hummed. "It is quite a stunning stone." Toph's soul smirked as she recalled Aang's analogy. "Quite unlike any other I have seen." He placed it in her lap. "A fitting charm for such a young lady as yourself." He said it in the same way Toph's grandmother used to refer to her before she had passed away. She didn't know how to respond, so she simply warped it back around her arm. Why had Sokka given it to her in the place?

_Sweetie. Dear.  
_ Smootching, rubbing, whispers, giggles...  
Why Suki? What was so special about _her?  
They all think of you like a sister.  
_Does he look at me _j_ _ust_ a sister? Can I ever be anything else? Anything more than that?

Maybe you can, but maybe that's not what's meant to be.  
Pff, I think I should be the one who decides what's best for me.  
Sometimes, when we try doing that, we end up being mistaken.  
Whatever...

_Ssssppp. Clak.  
_ Iroh's steady drinking snapped her from her thoughts.

She finally decided to drink her own tea. She tried to slurp some up, but her tongue lit on fire, causing her to _ssffppbbbhh_ it back out all over the ground. She was glad she didn't spill her cup, at least.

"Wahaha!" Iroh slapped his knee. "You must be patient, Child. Why the hurry? I have seen you drink here before - I know you are not unwise to the ways of proper tea etiquette."

"I-I'm just...-"  
 _clickleclattatat.  
_ Her hands were trembling, shaking her cup against its saucer. She set it aside on the earthen bench and mushed her hands between her legs, startled by her own trembling.

"My Dear, whatever is the matter?" Iroh's suddenly concerned tone questioned.

"Nothing," Toph firmly lied as smoothly as she could.

_Ssssppp. Clak._

"The turtle who remains inside its shell goes nowhere." Ohhhhhh _bah._ Fine.

"I have a lot of...stuff...going on right now."

"And the sun sets at the end of the day. I am aware of these things. You are the Bei Fong girl who ran from home."

"Not Bei Fong anymore," Toph grumbled, sliding her feet through the dirt. It was getting real damn old, having to repeat that.

"This is true," Iroh plainly agreed. "Your parents are most displeased. They speak of you as if you were a curse." As if she were a curse? What had she ever done to _them_?

"...Th-they do?" Her stomach twisted around. "H-how do you know?"

"They have been customers of mine."

"I hate them," Toph blurted with a huff on impulse.

"Because you _love_ them," Iroh clarified. "The fires of hate are a darker shade of the flames of love, and they burn from the same coals." How many metaphors was this guy gonna spill out?

"I don't _wanna_ love them."

"Because they do not want to respect you."

"Yea!" Sure, that sounded right.

"Sometimes love's flame extinguishes itself when left to burn away - but fanning the fire can only make it grow. This is true of both shades, light and dark." _Ugh,_ couldn't he just speak regular talk?

"What do you _mean,_ Mr. Iroh?"

"I am saying that you need to follow my Nephew's advice and stop worrying about what your parents think. They have broken your trust and your heart, pushing you further from them than any parent should, just as Zuko's father once did to him. The more you dwell on how unhappy you are with something you cannot change, the longer those painful thoughts will remain."

"I know, I know," Toph moaned, flopping her head lazily to the side. She was getting sick of everyone singing this same old song. "I'm trying."

"I am glad to hear this. It takes time but I am certain you will find your way, Child."

_Ssssppp. Clak._ Oh, right. Tea.

Toph clutched her cup, her hands now steady, and took a sip. It slid past her tongue, sending a minty-sweet greeting to her body before cascading down her throat, massaging it the whole way. She sighed in relief and satisfaction.

"This tea is..." She giggled. "Beautiful." They shared a brief laugh before a moment of mutual silence.

"You waited until that tea was ready for you," Iroh sagely pointed out. "Just as we are not always ready for Destiny when it calls us, sometimes Destiny will not have us when we try to find it ourselves. When this happens, we must wait until it will accept us."

"Destiny always gets what it wants, doesn't it?"

"Haha, indeed, my Dear. Indeed, it does."  
 _Ssssppp._ She joined in and soaked in some more tea, taking a bigger gulp this time. Man, that was good. She recalled Sokka's pessimistic saying.

_The Universe is out to get us._

"So...What do you do when Destiny won't let you have what _you_ want?"

"Sometimes, my child, the fruits we want most are on the highest branches that we cannot reach. If we are lucky, one may fall from the tree, but it is not always the fruit we had our eye on." More about trees, huh? Iroh must've had a thing for trees.

She sighed and rubbed at her bracelet longingly before sipping more tea to ease her pain.

"What if someone stole your fruit from you?" she bitterly wondered.

Iroh replied with a calm but ever-so-slightly scolding tone. "Someone cannot steal something from you that was never yours to begin with." That was...He...But! "Destiny is not always kind to us, Little One, especially when we try to steal from it." _Sssspp. Sssssssssspp. Clak._ Sounded like he was done. "You are still young, Child, and have many long years ahead. Even in my old age, standing under the Tree of Desire and waiting calmly will still yield fallen fruits." From what Toph could gather, Iroh was telling her that she ought to be patient. She didn't like this business about "not always the fruit we had our eye on," though. What did he mean? Like, someone who wasn't Sokka? She couldn't even imagine the idea.

"I don't want any other fruits," she pouted, slurping on her tea some more. "I already picked mine, it's the only one I want."

"Sometimes, when we stare at one paint stroke for too long, we lose sight of the art itself." OK, seriously. This was getting real old.

"Maybe I like a boy," she spat out in frustration, sick of all of the fancy talk. "And maybe he likes some other girl."

"Then maybe," Iroh slowly ventured. He paused for a moment, carefully considering his answer. "Maybe you need get over yourself." _What?_

It was as if he'd taken a chisel and hammered into the crack Sokka's relationship with Suki had created.

"Fire is dangerous," Iroh explained. Again with the damned metaphors. She was too angry to bother protesting. "It spreads and consumes all in its path. This is true of hate _and_ love. And it sounds as if you are fighting both. As much as these fires may burn within you, you must face the truth that you are still young, and keep those flames in their hearth. In time, if left alone, these flames will die out. This is the nature of things. But if you continue to fan the embers, the fires shall spread and scorch a path through your heart. You may never be able to heal what is left burned."

Toph snorted in disgust. What did it mean? She had a feeling this was basically what Zuko had been telling her earlier...

"Could you just tell me in normal words?" she grumbled. She swallowed the rest of her tea in one long swig. He sighed, _scriff scriff,_ scratching at his beard.

"This boy you speak of...The one from the Water Tribe." _Urk._ How'd he know? "I have no doubt you truly care for him, and that he does possess love for you, but love of a different kind than what you seem to be after. It sounds as if you could destroy what you have been given if you are not careful."

"A different kind?" Toph growled. "A _worse_ kind is more like it."

"You speak of love as if it is a ladder that you are trying to climb, but I assure you, there is no kind of love that is more powerful than another."

"He sure seems to care more about that other girl than he does me."

"Ah, this might be true - who are we to say? We are not him. His loves may be compounded together for this other girl. But my love for my Nephew, the love I once gave to my own son, the love I once had for his mother...These are all different kinds of love, yet I would not dare say that one eclipses another. His time may be spent more with this other girl, but it is entirely possible that he loves you both equally."

Toph hadn't considered this idea, but...she didn't _want_ to. She deserved what Suki had. Only, well, maybe without all the smootching and gross stuff. OK, maybe a little smootching. Ehhhhh maybe not? Bleh, she couldn't decide.

"W-well...What should I do? I really care about this guy but I don't like seeing him with this other girl. It just pisses me off."

"If you truly cared about him, as you say that you do, you would want to see him happy - if you _loved_ him, you would put his own happiness before your own. Selflessness is love put into action."

Ouch. That...is probably true. Wow. Maybe _I am_ being a jerk...?  
The first step to solving a problem is acknowledging it.

"I know it is difficult to consider - you are but only a child, and should not even be fretting over such things. But you came to me seeking counsel, and I have given it."

Toph set her empty tea cup to her left, running her hand over her face, through her bangs, over her useless eyes. Her head bulged, her stomach was sideways, her lungs were tight. The volcano was about to erupt again. She curled up and laid herself on the bench, her head resting in Iroh's lap, hands clutched to her head.

"I'm sick of this," she groaned miserably. "When did everything have to become so...so _stupid?_ My family, my friends, this dumb _boy_...I don't even know what I want right now, I'm just...I want to _punch_ something." Iroh gently patted her on the head. It wasn't the way Aang or Katara or Sokka would, but it was still cool.

"Growing up is not fun," he admitted. "Even at Zuko's age, one is certainly still growing. My advice to you, my child, is to stop worrying so much about all of these things you are so concerned of. Appreciate what Destiny has given you. It always takes things from us, but not without giving us something else in return."

She had managed to hold back tears, thankfully. That was a sight she didn't want him to see. She didn't even understand why she felt like crying for a second there. Was it about Sokka? Her parents? She didn't get it. She released the grip on her own head and rolled over, her face pointed up at his.

"My friends told me that I'm like their sister now," she said hopefully. "Mr. Iroh...Would you be my uncle?"

There was a long pause, a deep breath, a _scriff scriff._

"I will not deny that you are a lost child," he said pensively. "If you truly would like an old man such as myself to watch over you from time to time, I can certainly do my best."

"Really?" He was such a sweet old man. She knew he'd say yes. She rolled up into a sitting position and gave him a squeeze. Whoa. Yea, he was a lot harder and less squishy than she remembered. Had he been working out or something? Major, it seemed like. "Thanks, Uncle Iroh. You're pretty cool for an old guy." That sounded a lot more natural than "Mr. Iroh," that was for sure.

"And you are...'pretty cool' for a youngster."

"I promise I'll think about what you said," she muttered. She wasn't really sure how much she'd consider it, but since he was going to be her uncle and all that, she ought to make due on really thinking about this stuff.

"Always remember that you are the one who must make these choices, Toph," Iroh specified. OK, so he _did_ remember her name. She had been wondering. "I am but only one man with his own opinions. True wisdom in this world means seeking knowledge from everywhere you can."

"Meaning I should listen to my friends, too," Toph agreed.

"Precisely."

She shuffled through her satchel and pulled out a couple of coins for her tea, dropping them in Iroh's empty mug. _Clinklechink._

"I'll try," she repeated. Maybe if she just kept saying it she'd actually do it.

"You are a _stubborn_ little girl," Iroh told her with a warmth she knew to expect. "If you set your mind to this task I see nothing in your path that cannot be bypassed."

"Thanks for everything, Uncle. I'm going off on a trip but I promise I'll bring my friends to see you when we get back."

"Leaving again so soon?"

"I guess we're headed for the South Pole," Toph proudly declared, pouncing off the bench and landing behind the elderly sage. "I've never been there but I think I'm gonna suck it up and try to have fun."

"Speaking from experience, I can tell you it is very lovely down there," Iroh informed her. "Very _beautiful_. I am certain you will agree."

It certainly didn't _sound_ like it would be beautiful, but...if he said so, maybe it was, after all.

Toph stomped her foot, making her bench crumble back into the earth from whence it came, bringing Iroh down with it. The tea cups on their saucers remained afloat on slim discs of ground, which she flung into the building with a flick of her wrist. Iroh belted out an amused laugh from the dirt.

"What have I gotten myself into?" he cried between chuckles.

"I'm a trouble child all right," Toph declared with a prideful smirk. She was feeling a lot better. That tea had soaked in. Her talk with Iroh, while frustrating in some ways, made her feel more hopeful about figuring her way through all of this problems, and she now officially had the most awesome uncle in the world.

_Pad pad pad pad schuf.  
_

"Uncle," Zuko called. "There are more customers, and Jin can't serve them all at once. You'd better get back in here. Wh...Why are you sitting in the dirt?"

_Schiff shiff,_ he dusted himself off. _Crick-crack-popple_. Yow. Were those his bones?

"Just...enjoying your cousin's company," Iroh replied, shuffling his way over.

"My what?" Zuko muttered, barely audibly.

"I shall await your return, my child," Iroh assured with a light pat on her back. "I hope you find the answers you are looking for on your travels."

"Me, too."

As Iroh entered the Jasmine Dragon to resume his business, Zuko stood silently by the door.

"You've become more like your Uncle, ya know that, Crispy?"

"What makes you say that?" Zuko wondered, approaching her.

"He told me practically the same stuff you did. Just, ya know...about trees and fire and stuff. Or whatever."

"Oh, Iroh-Speak," Zuko acknowledged, as if this were common sense.. "All the metaphors?"

"Yeaaaa, that." Another pause. "I like him. You're not so bad, either, Crispy."

"Yea? Well, neither are you, um...Foot. Girl."

"Er...Maybe you should leave the nicknames to me, huh?"

"S-sounds like a good idea..." Another awkward pause. "I'm sorry if I was harsh on you, Toph. But I _did_ mean what I said. I've been where you have, and you don't have to go down the road I did."

"No, you're right," she dismissed. Might as well get this 'apologizing' crap out of the way and be done with it. "I was being a jerk, and you didn't deserve it, and...Yea. Just...don't worry about it. It's in the past."

"I think that's the attitude you need to exercise here with what's going with your parents. Good luck."

"Sounds like you need luck more than I do, _Lord_ Crispy."

As Toph merrily passed by, she sent a rapid shock through the ground with an otherwise unassuming footstep, causing a small pillar to sharply spike up and retract, nailing Zuko between the legs. _Fump._ A nice, satisfying face-to-the-ground.

"I'm guessing you probably don't remember this either, but...That was my revenge. For burning my feet. Figured I'd put that behind us, too."

"I thought...it was...in the past..." he managed to whimper. She giggled.

"Changed my mind about that one." Toph tapped at his back with her dirty foot. "Well, it's been real, and it's been fun...But it ain't been _real_ fun," she snickered. "I guess I'll see ya later, Crispy."

She slipped through the Jasmine Dragon's back door where that Jin girl was preparing tea for the clump of fresh customers that had passed in as Iroh was serving it out.

"What happened to Zuko?" Jin whispered to her.

"He got what was comin' to him," Toph devilishly answered. She marched through the crowded shop, chiming, "See ya, Uncle!"

"Farewell, Niece."


	14. Like a Little Brother

"Where'd you go, Toph?" Aang wondered between bites. He dunked his spoon into his bowl and chewed on his meal, continuing to speak through his food. "Yuhr foof's ahl cohhld."

"Heyheyhey," Sokka spat out indignantly. "What's all this stuff about manners, Aang? Ya hypocrite."

Aang forced his food down in one huge gulp, coughed a bit, and laughed.

Toph crawled onto her wooden chair, admiring its evenly sanded, smooth surface, and sniffed in the delightful scent of her dinner.

"I was at the Jasmine Dragon getting some tea before dinner," she explained. Ohhh man, that chicken, the rice, and what were these spices she was smelling? A merry melody to her nostrils, that's what it was. Sokka's doing, no doubt. He was pretty good with spices, that Meathead.

"Oh, yea, that fancy tea place in the uppity part of town?" Sokka wondered from Toph's left.

"That's where Zuko's uncle works now," Katara specified from across the table. "Remember?"

"He's the guy who owns it," Toph proudly added before scooping up a clump of sticky rice and chicken and chowing down. The savory flavor of the pepery spices hit the spot for a hungry tummy, the juicy chicken and boiled green beans serving as a delicious combination. "He's _my_ uncle now, too," she quietly slipped in after swallowing her first bite.

"Huh?" probed a curious Aang from her right at the end of the table. Toph savored the _clink-tinkle-clat-pak-soof_ of the dinner table as everyone fiddled their tools around to eat.

"He said he'd be my uncle," Toph bragged, slightly louder, before chewing into some more chow.

"You're just surrounding yourself with a whole new family, aren't you?" Suki cheerfully pointed out.

"Sure," Toph flatly agreed. What are you, then? My fancy-pants ninja cousin? No thanks.

"That's great," chimed Katara.

"So how are you liking this stuff?" Aang wondered. "It's good, isn't it?"

"It's yummy," Toph voiced with glee.

"I'm glad you like it," said Suki. "It's an old recipe my mother passed down to me."  
Seriously? For Spirits' sake...

Toph refused to acknowledge that statement and continued to chew down her meal.

"Sooo tomorrow morning," Sokka began, breaking the pregnant pause. Oh, here we go again with his planning everything out. "Suki and I will get some food in town for the trip. Katara and Aang, you guys should make sure we've got water and clothing 'cuz it's gonna get cold - obviously. We'll probably need to get some stuff as soon as we touch down but I don't think that'll be a problem."

"Well, what do _I_ do?" Toph wondered.

"Have you decided that you're going?" Katara eagerly wondered.

"Why not?" Toph casually replied. "I've never really been anywhere with snow and ice all over. Should be different. And I'll get to meet a real Water Tribe!"

"Awesome," Sokka cheered in a goofy tone.

"So how can I help tomorrow?"

Sokka replied by slapping her shoulder with the back of his wrist.

"Hey, Rockie, you can just sleep in and relax, you've had a rough trip," he advised. This was his way of trying to make her feel better, if Katara was to be believed. Little Sokka, planning this whole trip just for her sake...Wasn't he just a sweet guy, trying to play it all cool?

After dinner, Aang coerced Toph into some earthbending practice.

For the third time, she swirled her arms around, rotating a smal tornado of pebbles and sand around her, only to lose her concentration and have it spill out across the ground. Earthbending was often about controlling single, large masses with great strength and focus, but an exercise like this could be tricky since it required precision to move every separate piece of earth together in tandem. Air was a continuous mass, like fire, and even water often was, but earth could be be tricky when broken into little separate pieces. If you weren't sharp, it'd fall apart and you'd lose control. Like she just had. Three times now. In a row.

" _Urgh,_ what the hell?" she growled at herself.

"It-it's OK, Toph," Aang shakily assured through his own tornado. She could sense that he wasn't cheating with any of that airbending of his, and was controlling it entirely with his index finger. A frown crawled across her face and Aang immediately flopped down his finger, cascading his tornado into the ground. "Uh, shoot," he mumbled. "Y-yea, I guess this _is_ harder than I thought it'd be." His heartbeat was a dead giveaway.

"You're a horrible liar, Twinkletoes," she seethed between grit teeth. This was _not_ how things were. She was better than him at earthbending. She could move a damned _mountain_ if she wanted.

"I-I'm sorry," Aang meekly stuttered. "Maaaaybe you're just off today. Have a lot on your mind?"

"No," she matter-of-factly spat. Yes, she had a lot. So much her head was about to freaking explode. _Twak!_ Ow.

"Looks like we're both liars," Aang teased, _tip,_ setting his foot back on the ground. He must have kicked a pebble at her now throbbing knee. Damn. She really _was_ out of sorts. "Maybe we should stop - I don't wanna stress you out."

Toph sighed a deep and drawn out sigh. "I guess. Sure."

"Ya wanna go for a ride on Appa?" he offered, gently disappearing somewhere above.

"Isn't it kinda late?" she doubtfully inquired, observing the chilled air and cold ground.

"If you're too tired we can just go to bed," Aang complacently suggested, his voice coming from the air like a ghost.

"Let's go for a walk," Toph suggested, mashing the side of her fist into her palm. "We're gonna be on Appa all day tomorrow, right?" There was something she had decided she wanted to ask him.

_"Krititit,"_ Momo growled, landing on Toph's shoulder and _swisle swis_ -ing his wings around. Her shoulders were stiff and sore from their trip and her strained attempts at bending, so his presence wasn't welcome - it was painful.

"Sorry, Momo," Toph grunted, grabbing his squirmy body and dropping him on the ground. She scrunched up her toes, bending the dirt to cushion his landing.

" _Graaaap,"_ he groaned irritably.

"Haha, it's all right, Buddy," Aang empathized, _ti-tip, sciff-scaff._ _Pfftit._ "There ya go. C'mon, let's take you inside." _Tip. tip. tip._ "I'll be back in a sec, Toph, just gonna drop Momo in and let everyone know we're gonna be out for a bit."

_"Krrrraaaa."_

"OK."

His _tips_ faded away into the house behind her. Toph sucked in the thick city air through her nose and exhaled slowly. Somehow, Ba Sing Se just...seemed so much different after everywhere she had been, after all that had happened. She couldn't help but find herself wondering how long this would last: the bunch of them all living together like this. After this trip was over, would they still be together? Would she end up alone some how? It wasn't like it was all too unlikely: Katara and Aang could disappear in one direction, Suki could steal Sokka away somewhere else...Where would _she_ go? Stay here with her new Uncle or something?

"So!" _Tppph._ Aang appeared at her side. "Where we off to?"

"I dunno," Toph shrugged. "Just...wherever. C'mon."

"What do you wanna talk about?" Aang immediately wondered.

"Wh-? I didn't say I wanted to...-" she trailed off.  
Lies. He isn't stupid and why _else_ would you be going for a walk with him?

"Did something happen tonight when you were out?" he asked with a hint of suspicion.

She stammered a bit as she attempted to decide. She wasn't sure if something 'happened' so much as she had come to understand more fully how unhappy she was with this 'boy' situation.

"N-No, just...I'm still confused about stuff."

"Uh _-huh_ ," Aang muttered, as if he knew something about what was going on. "I don't blame ya," he then conceded.

"So... _you're_ a boy," Toph bumbled about suddenly.

"Uh, yea," Aang agreed, perplexed. "I mean, I'm pretty sure-"

"Sometimes I wonder, Twinkletoes," she cracked.

"Yea, yea," Aang groaned through a laugh.

"Anyway, but, like...How did you and Katara...end up, like...-"

"Like we are _now_?"

"Yea..."

"Hm..." As Aang pondered his answer, Toph enjoyed the cool, smooth stones of a small bridge as they passed over. Aang stopped at the middle, and she could feel his weight leaning over its edge. The air moved a bit quicker there, above the _blblblbl_ -ing creek below. "I don't know...At some point I just decided that I really liked her, and that I wanted to always be with her. And I just...I kissed her. I wasn't sure if I would ever see her again and I felt like she just needed to know how I felt."

"So you just...kissed her?" Toph repeated, shocked at the idea of Aang having the balls to do such a thing.

"Y-yea," Aang murmured, as if he were in awe with himself. "Wow...I can't believe I did that." Yep, he was totally in awe. "Twice."

" _Twice?_ " Toph giggled. "Are you serious? She didn't get it the first time?"

"Uh, or the second time," Aang sheepishly clarified. "The first time was kind of weird, I don't even know why I did it...And the second time...Well...She wasn't ready." Toph grinned, recalling Iroh's remark about seeking Destiny before it was ready for you.

"After the war ended, though... _She_ kissed _me._ Then, um...Well, yea. We talked about it and decided we would give it a try."

"You both seem happy," Toph observed, her tongue a bit sour with jealousy.

"It's been pretty awesome," Aang informed her cheerfully. "Katara says that we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously until we're a bit older, though. But hey, I don't care either way. I know it's meant to be."

"Meant to be, huh?" Toph recited to herself in a murmur.

"Yea, totally," he vehemently insisted. "Like, just, a really deep and strong feeling, right? No matter what you do, it won't go away."

She sighed at his excitement and determination and wondered if what she was feeling was actually the same thing or not.

"What's kissing like?" Toph asked suddenly, almost with a cringe. It seemed kind of gross but she couldn't deny that she wanted to try it.

"U-uh, well, it's-" Aang stumbled around for words, and she could hear him rubbing at his head. "It's kind of weird at first but...when you get used to it, it's _really_ great." That cute little lisp melted around his words as he finished his thought, no doubt lost in the memories of the sensation.

"Like coffee? Or tea?" Toph recalled once finding both of those disgusting but she loved them now.

"Y-yea, like that! Kinda." Hm. Well, that didn't seem so bad.

"Does it have to be all...gross?" she winced. "I mean, it just...it sounds gross." She puckered her lips and sucked in air, imitating the sound as best she could. Aang snickered at her mockery.

"I guess it doesn't _have_ to be," he considered thoughtfully.

"When I used to go to bed, my par...-"  
No. Stop. I'm not going to say it.  
Why not?  
I just don't wanna.

"Your...parents?" Aang finished darkly.

Toph snorted through her nose and continued.

"Well, they used to kiss me when I went to bed, like, on the head."

"Yea. That's not the same kind of kissing," Aang clarified. Wow, really? No kidding? _Duh._

"So if you wanted to show someone you _like_ them like them," Toph processed, "you gotta kiss 'em the gross way? On the mouth?"

"Uhh...I dunno. That's what _I_ did." Well, he wasn't being very helpful with this. Maybe she should try approaching it from a different angle.

"Well, why'd you do it? How did you know Katara liked you back?"

"I _didn't_."

"Oh...Well, if...If you didn't know, why'd you _do_ it?"

"Like I said, I wanted her to know how I felt. I guess I thought that would do the trick, heh..." He still seemed embarrassed by his own impulsive behavior from a while back.

"So..." She could feel a lump forming in her throat as she found herself conflicted by her own feelings and thoughts. "If I liked somebody-"

"Ha. Knew it."

"Shut up," she hissed before continuing. "If I liked somebody, but I didn't know if they liked me back...What do I do?"

Aang sniffed in some air and exhaled deeply.

"This is someone you're seeing at the tea shop, isn't it?" he quietly accused. "No wonder you were in such a rush to go there..."

"Whatever," Toph dismissed, quite perfectly fine with the fact that he was clueless. "Answer my question, Twinkletoes."

"Agh," he grunted, slapping the edge of the bridge and spinning around, leaning his back against it. "I don't know, Toph," he pleaded with a sigh. "I guess I'd say...just go for it. If you really like him, then it's worth trying for, right?"

Toph gulped hard to force down her sheepish doubt, and Aang continued, oblivious.

"If he's really your friend, then...So _what_ if he doesn't like you? You guys'll still be friends, right?"

Sure, unless I 'burn something that can't be healed.'

"R-right." She planted herself on the chilled rock bridge beside her friend and took a crawling, deep breath as her mind's gears clicked and whirred in an effort to decide how she would proceed with this situation. Uncle Iroh had told her to leave it alone but the more she left it alone the harder it became to hide. She couldn't dismiss his knowledge, but...she had to know. It would continue to eat at her until she did, she just knew it.

"So, what do you think you'll do?" Aang asked eagerly. "Can I help? You want me to try and sneak it out of him?" He offered his services with mischief thick in his voice.

"Pff, I think I'm a big girl, I can handle it myself," she smugly declined.  
No, you can't. Liar. You can't even handle _yourself_ lately, can you?  
Shut up.

"OK," Aang conceded, his pitch raised. "You gonna ask him out on a date or something?"  
Pff. I wish.

"Er, wh-? N-no, dates are pointless. It's all...fake. And junk."  
Would it be, _really_ , if you took him on one?  
No, not really, but I don't want to even think about it.  
Hm. Maybe that's the for the best.

"Nnnot really," Aang slowly disagreed. "It depends on how you go about it. I'm gonna take Katara on a date soon."

"Oh, yea?"

"Yea, I'm gonna take her cliff diving," Aang proclaimed slyly.

"That...sounds kinda dangerous."

"Uhhh, not if you're the _Avatar,_ " Aang protested. "It's gonna be great."

"...Right. Yea. Well, you do that," Toph grumbled with a huff, skidding her bare foot along the stone bridge, smoothing its surface as she did so. Stupid. Crap. Hate it. Why? Don't understand!

"What's your problem?" Aang inquired in a tone lacking in hostility.

" _Nothing,_ I just don't know what to do." She folded her arms over her stomach. Can't believe it. Why her? What about me? Why do they get to-

"Stand your ground," Aang advised plainly. His bony hand gently rested on her shoulder. "If it's meant to be, it's mean-" Aang's sentence was cut short with a choking gasp as Toph pummeled her fist into his ribs, which caused him to quickly retract his comforting hand.

There. That's better.  
Not really. Now it'sworse. Why did his hand have to go? Why'd you hit him?  
B-because! I just...felt like it.

"Wh-?" Aang coughed, and she felt him squirming around. "What was _that_ for?" he croaked.

"It's real easy for you to say all that crap, Twinkletoes," Toph seethed, standing up. "You already know what's gonna happen for you."

Aang groaned in pain, remaining on the ground, leaning against the bridge's side.

"So you're gonna... _hit_ me?"

"I'm sick of hearing all about you and Katara and how freaking _great_ it is to know you're gonna be so damned happy-"

" _You_ brought this stuff up, Toph! Why are you getting upset with _me?_ "  
Why, you...Tryin' to pass the blame on me like this is _my_ fault.  
It _is_ your fault.

"You don't even know what's going on with me!" Toph cried. "So why do you act like you do?"

"Maybe I don't know because you have to keep everything a secret!" Aang countered, his breath still forced a bit. "I don't get what your _problem_ is! All of a sudden you're all mad with me? I'm sorry if I made you upset but I didn't mean to!" Aang clambered to his feet. As his steps vibrated the ground, she could sense he was still clutching his side. Had she really hit him that hard? _Tip tip._ Wait, where was he going? "You _meant_ to hit me," he clarified. "I know you're mad, Toph, but _I_ didn't do anything to you! You seem like you keep switching around. I don't get why you're...'cooler' than me, when you're such a jerk to your little brother..."

_Tip tip tip._  
No, please. Stop. Don't go. I didn't mean it. I'm just angry! But not at you!  
 _tip. tip. tip._

_"_ Hey, w-wait!" Toph called, reaching her arm out at nothing. _Tip ti-_

"What?" he asked slowly. She could feel it in his voice: he didn't want to leave anymore than she wanted him to.

"I'm..." Sorry. You're sorry. _Say it._ "I'm sorry...Aang." _-ip. Tip.  
Tip.  
Tip tip._

"Toph..." Toph could feel her legs wobbling and her head felt light all of a sudden. "Hey, it's all right!" Aang assured in a panic. Why? Oh. That was water running down her face all of a sudden, wasn't it? Damnit! Where did that come from? She simply stood there, unable to bring herself to wipe away her tears, unable to say anything more. Unable to resist Aang's soft arms wrapping around her, hands clenching her back gently, pressing her large braid. "It's OK, Sis," he said in an effort to calm her. She couldn't reciprocate his hug, she was too dazed, her arms heavy. She didn't sniffle, she didn't cough, but her eyes ran wet and her body trembled.

After Aang let her go, she could feel the tears on her face melt away, evaporating in an instant. What the-? Had Aang just _bended_ her tears away? Aw. He was such a little softie.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Aang asked in a pitiable tone. Not the kind that said 'You poor baby' but the kind that said 'Why can I not help you feel better?'

"I don't _get_ it," she whispered. "I don't even understand _me_ anymore..." She could feel Aang tugging at her clothes, easing her to the ground beside the bridge. She sat down, pressing her hands into the cobblestone path.

"I know how that is," Aang muttered. "Every time I go into the Avatar State, I feel the same way when I come out. It's like all of this... _stuff_...from inside is trying to break free or something. But it's not what I _want_ to come out...Ya know? It's like it doesn't even feel like _me,_ but I guess it has to be _part_ of me or it wouldn't be there..."

Toph sighed, drooping her head down. She could feel her eyes getting heavy. That cry had made her realize how tired she was.

"I didn't want to hit you," she specified solemnly. "I mean...some times I _do,_ " she jested with a grin. "But not that time. I'm really _mad_ though, but not at you. I'm sorry I punched you. Even if you deserved it," she added in a tease, receiving a slap on the back of the hand. "Ow, hey!" she giggled, swatting him away.

"Why are you really mad? Are you mad at your parents?"

"I guess...that must be part of it." She huffed at the thought. They didn't even _deserve_ to be getting upset over. "But it's also this stupid boy, too."

"Why? Is he being mean to you?" Aang patted her shoulder with a rough tap. "If he is, you tell me, I'll beat him up." Toph chuckled at his attempts at being threatening.

"Whatever happened to solving things peacefully, Twinkletoes?"

"W-well, hey, you're my Big Sis now, I gotta bend the rules for my family."

Bend the rules for your family.

"I see," Toph mocked. "Well, all right. I don't want you to beat him up, though. He's kind of a wuss."

"Really?" Aang seemed shocked. "I'd figure you'd like some tough kid. Like you."

"W-well, I mean, he _can_ be tough. When he needs to," she defended. Why was she defending him? He didn't care whether she thought of him one way or the other.

"So am I gonna get to meet this guy any time soon?" Aang probed with strong implication.

"I'll-I...gotta decide what I'm gonna do," she blurted out. Her face was feeling warm again.

"Don't rush it, then," Aang suggested. "You gotta make decisions like that when you're ready." Zuko and Iroh's voices danced in her head.

_I don't feel like I'm ready.  
We never do._

"I guess," Toph complied.

You're ready to ask your brother that question, though. Right now. You should do it.  
Yea, sure.

"Hey, Aang," Toph sheepishly muttered.

"What?"

"Could I...? Well, it's-I just...I'm so used to using my feet that I forget I can feel the world with my hands, ya know?"

"Sure. What about it?" Aang asked, baffled.

"If you guys are gonna be my family, I think...I want to know what you all _feel_ like," she whispered, as if what she were saying was some taboo.

"Huh?" Ugh, he didn't get it. She didn't want to have to _explain_ it...It wouldn't make sense to him. All of the physical contact she'd been focusing on, all of this talk of family and stuff...It made her want to try to understand what her family 'looked' like. They were shapes, heartbeats, voices...She wanted them to be detailed sculptures, she wanted to know if their faces were rough or soft or squishy or hard. She didn't understand _why_ she wanted to know this.

"Y-your face," Toph clarified in a squeak. "I wanna know what your guys' faces are like since I can't...-"

"See them," Aang completed her thought. "OK." What? That was it?

"Wh-? Is that OK?"

"Sure," Aang insisted, as if it were nothing. "I get it." He did? "Go on. Just watch the eyes."

Toph slid her hands along the ground which helped her realize that Aang had moved his face a mere couple of feet from her own. She reached her hands out boldly and without hesitation.

_Whoa._ What? Why was his head...scratchy? And fuzzy? She thought it was supposed to be all slick and stuff, like her grandpa's head...Right? Wasn't that what bald meant?

"Haha, I know, not all smooth, right?" he admitted. "I haven't shaved my head since we left for our trip, so it's a little fuzzy."

"Heehee. It feels cool," she snickered with delight, rubbing her hands all around his head, overloading her fingertips. Ohp! Wait, what was-? Oh, that was his ear. What a weird feeling thing the ear was, all floppy but hard on the inside. His ears felt like they stuck out a lot, huh? What a goof. His cheeks were squishy, his skin dry and smooth. His mouth was curved into a smile, and running her palms over it intrinsically made one crawl across her own face.

"You probably look pretty goofy," she picked on him as she pulled her hands away. "With ears like that and your bald head?"

"Gee, thanks," Aang sarcastically muttered. "My ears aren't _that_ big."

"Twinkletoes, I just grabbed them - they're _huge._ Surprised I could fit my hands around them."

"Hey, come on!"

They laughed a bit, Toph's devolving into a yawn, which consequently led to Aang yawning as well.

"We should probably get back home," Aang advised, messing up Toph's bangs as he stood upright.

"Yea, long day tomorrow, huh?" Toph groaned, propping herself up with the stones behind her before setting them back in place.

"You're gonna love the South Pole," Aang guaranteed as they journeyed back. "It's so awesome there."

"That's what I've heard."

"But...you won't be able to do any earthbending..."

"I know," Toph casually shrugged. She had certainly already considered that. Not being able to bend earth could feel helpless, but not near as helpless as she felt at the thought of being separated from 'Team Avatar.'


	15. Family Again

"My tough little Rockie," he gruffly proclaimed.

"I try," she casually agreed.

"I'm no good for you. You know that, right?"

"Why? 'Cuz you're a _wuss?_ "

"I'm hard as nails. You know that."

"Yea..." she swooned.

"I'll just break your heart, Kiddo."

"No you won't! You would never do that."

"How do you know?"

"'Cuz. I just know."

"Why would you risk it?"

"'Cuz. I like you."

"Well...I like you, too."

"But do you _like_ me like me?"

"I'm not sure."

"Maybe if I show you, you'll know?"

"Maybe."

His body was close. She eagerly grasped her hands around him and pressed her face into his chest-

"Toph," he called.

"What?" she gasped, confused.

"Hey. C'mon, Kiddo. Time to get up."

 _Get up?  
_ "Guhwuh?"

"Up and at 'em. _Keh_ -mon."

Her mouth emitted a slow and miserable "Uuuggghhh...?"

She suddenly realized that his body was soft and poofy and oddly not-human-shaped. She could smell the familiar scent of her saliva drizzled around it.

"Got yerself a new snuggle buddy there, eh, Rockie?" Sokka slyly teased.

Damnit all to hell. She was groping a pillow. Her half-awake arms slowly pushed it away. She covered up her face, rubbing gunk from her eyes. Her face was as hot as boiling water.

"Shudduuuup," she whimpered dearily.

"We're ready to leave here soon, just waitin' on _you,_ Sleepypants."

"OK, OK," she groaned, rolling onto her stomach and pushing herself onto her knees, where she remained for a few moments, her head drooping. _Thwap._ "Ow." What the hell had just hit her in the butt? Felt thin and whip-like.

"C'mon! Get that stony butt in gear!" Sokka prodded - literally, jabbing the bendable stick into her rib. Maybe if she didn't move...he'd hit her again? _Thip thip thip._ Aw. He was leaving. "Don't make me use this fishing pole again," he threatened in jest on his way out to the main room. She sure wouldn't mind if he caught her in a net.

 _Ugh._ Bleck, bleh, puh! What the hell was that? Where did that come from? Gross!

Shaking the grody thought from her mind, Toph stood in the empty bedroom, a nest of wool blankets at her feet on the wooden floor. She stood on her toes and reached for the ceiling, stretching her limbs out and yawning a mighty yawn.

"Here, I'll take that, you finish cooking these eggs." Katara's slightly distance voice reached to her barely awake ears.

"Sure," Sokka complied.

 _Thip thip thip_ came Katara's footsteps as she entered the room. Toph scratched at her rump, fortunately unharmed from Sokka's attack.

"Good morning," Katara cheerfully greeted, scooping up the blankets and- _fooff_ -beginning to fold them on the nearby bed she and Aang had slept on that night. Toph stood about like a log, groggy and dizzy. "Someone's been drooling all over her pillow," Katara noticed with a laugh as she picked up the feather-filled cushion and placed it on top of the now neatly folded blankets.

Fully aware of this happening around her, Toph finally decided to start making an effort at being a person who acted awake.

"Wh...What time is it?" she wondered.

"It's about ten," Katara replied. "We're pretty much ready to go, we're just getting ready to eat before we head out." Mm. Eat. Eggs. Those were _eggs_ her nose was beginning to pick up on. Scrambled. _Fsszzzzz_ they went as they were prepared in the kitchen area in the next room. _Gruurrgg_ went Toph's stomach at the thought.

Pulling herself from her egg-hungry stupor, Toph noticed that Katara seemed to be fidgeting around the room, grabbing clothes, it seemed.

"Sokka," she called as she carried her findings off. "You _do_ realize that we don't have cold weather clothes for Toph and Suki, right?"

"Yea, they've never been to the _icy north_ ," Aang added with drama.

"We're going _south,_ Dear," Katara corrected.

"...The _icy south!_ "

"I know," said Sokka from his stance at the pan. As Toph came into the room and immersed herself in the brilliant scents of freshly cooked eggs, Sokka explained, "We're just gonna have to make due with what we've got until we get there. Suki can borrow my coat - I'm used to the cold."

"Would Toph fit into mine?" Aang wondered as he scooted himself into a seat at the table.

"I dunno," Katara doubtfully replied. She didn't seem to think so. "They might be a little too big."

"Better too big than too small, right?" Aang pointed out before the _clink_ of his fork on his plate began.

"Thanks, Twinkletoes, but I'll manage," Toph assured, sitting herself beside him at an egg-less chair. She reach out and rubbed at his head a little with a wide grin, enjoying that fuzzy feeling. "Wouldn't want your scrawny self to freeze, Baldy."

"We'll make sure to bring extra clothes to keep you girls warm," said Katara as she joined them.

_"Craw."_

"I _told_ you, Hawky, they're _chicken_ eggs, OK? There's no babies in 'em. Get off my back!"

_"Crrrraw."  
"Griiii."_

"No, guys! No eggs for...flying...things!" Sokka seemed to be struggling against a hawk and a lemur-bat to fend them off as they pestered him. "Toph's already got dibs on these eggs. Back off." Toph found herself admiring his grunts and battle cries and he kept the vicious beasts at bay on her behalf.

"Well, are they done yet?" Toph wondered, grabbing her plate and dashing over to receive her treasure he was defending.

"Probably," Sokka muttered as the animals calmed down. She could hear him flipping them around. "Yep, looks good. Gimme." She stuck her arm out and he pulled her plate away. "I gotta spice it up for ya," Sokka warned, patting her on the shoulder as an indication that she should return to the table.

"So where's Makeup Ninja?" Toph asked no one in particular, appreciating Suki's lack of existence in that moment.

"She went to go get some extra food," said Katara. "She'll be back soon."

Toph impatiently awaited her food, having to be tortured by Aang's loud and enthusiastic chewing - cute as it was, it'd be much more tolerable had she food to eat herself. Katara broke her from her mouth watering thoughts, complimenting her out of the blue.

"Your hair looks very nice, Toph. That braid looks good on you."

"Thanks." What the-? What did this have to do with anything?

"Don't you guys think so?" Katara probed, tasking the boys with responding.

"Mrrmhmm," Aang hummed out through a mouthful. He meant it, she could tell. It was slightly flattering to know she was two for three.

Toph delighted at the aromas of her eggs as Sokka _scoff_ -ed her plate onto the table before her. She immediately dug in, savoring the moist texture. They were just the way she liked them - small pieces of tomato cooked in, lemon pepper and a touch of salt. Sokka knew how to feed her well.

"Yea, it looks good," Sokka agreed plainly. He messed up her bangs before returning to the fire to continue cooking. "I take all the credit - it was my idea," he bragged jokingly. Toph eagerly chewed into the eggs, considering how much he really cared.

"I bet her new boyfriend likes it," Aang teased. _Urk._ Toph found herself choking on that delicious paste of eggs, which she had swallowed sooner than expected.

"Boyfriend?" Katara burst out in a clearly shocked manner.

"Boyfriend?" Sokka repeated, more curious than surprised.

"Yea, the guy she keeps going to see at the Jasmine Dragon," Aang excitedly announced. What the hell, Twinkletoes? I never said that...Note to self: next time, remind your brother to keep a secret when you don't want him blabbing what you talk about to _everyone._

Toph slapped herself in the forehead and sighed irritably.

"Twinkletoes!" she growled. "I never...I...I don't have a boyfriend!" No, no, stop it, stupid cheeks. Calm down. No need to get worked up and warm, huh?

" _Sure_ ya don't," Aang picked. "Only 'cuz ya haven't asked him yet." Come _on,_ face, stop getting all hot. This sucks.

"Wh-? Hold on," Katara quickly interjected. "So there _is_ a boy?" she suspiciously checked.

"Th-that's...It's-I-I might like a boy," Toph stuttered, entirely embarrassed by this. Thank the Spirits Sokka was occupied.

"What's this hypothetical boy's name?" inquired Sokka - damnit. Just the person she did _not_ want to be involved in this conversation right now.

"Hypothetical?" Toph grumbled defensively.

"You don't exactly seem like the dating type," Sokka explained with nonchalance. That one felt like a pinprick right into her chest.

"I could _totally_ be the dating... _type_ ," Toph insisted, flustered by his words.

"Well, what's this guy's _name_?" he demanded in a disbelieving tone. Ugh, you stupid freaking...

"I don't have a boyfriend," Toph admitted angrily, chewing into her food in a rush and forcing a growl through her delicious eggs. "Ihfs munuv yer bivniff emmyway..."

"That's why you gotta _ask_ this guy if-" Aang's suggestion was interrupted by Katara.

"All right, _boys,_ " she scolded. "Let's not embarrass her. If she wants to tell us, she will when she's ready." Toph absorbed Katara's firm hand rubbing on her back.

"Thanks, Sugar Queen," she quietly said after swallowing her hefty dose of food, cheeks beginning to calm down at last.

* * *

Sokka shuffled things around into his pack, and Toph heard the gantle sloshing of liquid in a bottle. He seemed to be on the floor by his bed. It was nearly time to leave and Sokka had silently slipped back into his bedroom, unnoticed by the others who had headed outside.

"So what's _that_ stuff?" Toph inquired as Sokka gently slipped the bottle into his bag.

" _Yeep!_ " he squeaked, tightening his sack shut.

"Oh-oh, _hey,_ " he nervously greeted. "Toph. Yea. Hi." The silence was suspicious, for sure.

"Hi," Toph retorted in an amused laugh.

"What?" Sokka defensively spat.

"Nothing, just...wondering why you're back here. On the floor. Sneaking something into your bag."

"OK, OK, _don't tell_ anyone," Sokka solemnly whispered, crawling up to her. She relished the intimate proximity as he slapped his hand around her shoulder. "I got some special juice from a merchant in town yesterday."

"Uhhh...So?"

"It's... _special_ juice," Sokka repeated carefully. "Like, juice that you'd find...in the desert. In a _cactus_."

" _Ohhhh,_ " Toph whispered back in realization. She remembered the bizarre state of mind Sokka had been after consuming cactus juice from their journey in the desert. What she didn't understand was why he had found some. "OK...But, um... _Why_ would you want to drink that stuff? It makes you go crazy."

"I'm...pretty stressed out about some stuff," he grumbled. "If I need to, this stuff can...help me forget everything for a while. Ya know?"

Forget everything. Ha. _That_ sounds like a plan.  
It's not a plan, it's running away from your problems. Hopefully he _won't_ drink it.  
Meh. Whatever. I could sure go for something like that right now.

"Will you share it with me?"

"Wh-? _Share_ it?"

"Um, _yea._ Unless you want everyone else to know about it."

"W-well, it's just...You're too _young_ to-" Ohhhhh, no. I don't think so.

Her face twisted into a threatening glare.

"...Right, then," Sokka meekly let out. "Sure. We can share. Just don't tell _anyone_ about it."

"You got it, Meathead."

* * *

"I didn't know it was a secret," muttered Aang shamefully, his lisp a paintstroke on a canvas of wind.

"It's OK," Toph tiredly forgave him, sighing deeply, her head buried in her arms. "I guess...I dunno, I should've said something. I just thought you'd have some _common sense_ , Twinkletoes..."

"W-well, I promise I won't tell anyone about stuff next time if you let me know," he hastily assured her.

"All right. Don't worry so much about it, ya dork," Toph advised warmly, still resting her head.

"So, you guys excited to get to know our dad better?" Sokka wondered.

"I'm really looking forward to getting to," Suki answered thoughtfully. "It'll be so different to spend time with him when there's no war going on, won't it?"

"Got that right," Sokka agreed eagerly. "And you'll get to see where we grew up."

"The south pole better be as awesome as everyone keeps saying it is," Toph warned in jest.

"If it's anything like what I've heard of the north pole, it'll be amazing," Suki murmured in awe.

"Weeeell," Aang winced, scooting away from Toph to Suki's side at the front of their mighty bison mount. "It's not exactly the same..."

"Oh. How so?"

"It's kinda puny," Aang sheepishly explained in a whisper.

" _Hey!_ Are you calling our home puny?" Sokka roared indignantly.

" _Craww._ "

"I _know,_ right? Aang's been spoiled by the fancypants Northern Tribe."

"Sokka," Katara dully stopped him. "I love our home as much as you do, but...Aang's right. It's kinda puny."

"Urg-but-!" He was so cute when he was frustrated.

"That just means it has a more...small-town, homey feeling!" Katara quickly clarified with nervous optimism. Yea, he'd buy that. Maybe. As they argued the point, Suki struck up conversation with Aang.

"I heard you defended the whole Northern Tribe from a fleet of Fire Nation ships."

"Haha, _yea_ I did," his voice beamed. "There were, like, a _hundred_ ships all coming to attack the city, and I...-" Toph tuned his story out, having already heard it once or twice, and focused on Katara and Sokka, who must have resolved their differences.

"I still can't believe our people are finally safe again," came Katara's wistful voice. "It's going to be so strange seeing everyone again after so long. I mean, so much has _changed._ I feel like...a completely different person."

"That's because you _are_ ," Sokka solemnly informed. The two were sitting beside one another, as she could feel their backs pressing againt Appa's saddle edge across the way. Tapping her feet methodically, she could sense their bodies meld into each other's sides. "You've grown up a lot, Katara. We all have."

"Some of us had more room to grow into than others," she teased. Sokka chuckled in spite of himself. _Pat pat,_ he slapped her opposing shoulder - his arm was resting around her back.

"I'm really proud of you, Sis," he told her, lowering his tone against Aang's excitable storytelling. "You know that?"

"I do," she whispered back, her voice trembling ever so slightly. She could hear Katara make a comforted hum sound, picking up vibrations that implied the two were hugging eachother from the side. "I'm really proud of _you,_ Brother," she reciprocated, her voice cracking a bit. Was she crying? "You know that?"

"I do," Sokka's choked up voice managed. "I know Dad is proud of _both_ of us..."

"We can finally be a _family_ again." Katara sniffed. She _was_ crying. "All of us can..." Not that it was making Toph want to cry. Well, maybe. Just a little. She was so uncertain of what was waiting for her - not the south pole so much as her life with these people. She wanted in on this moment they were having. She wanted to soak in that pressure, the hands over her head and arms. She crawled over to them.

"Aw, Toph," Katara squeaked. Crap, she was getting all wet-eyed, too. "Come here..." Toph squirmed her way between them and packaged herself in their arms.

"There ya go, Kiddo," Sokka muttered, pressing his thick-skinned hand into her shoulder as Katara's soft fingers latched onto her neck.

"-the way everyone talks about it, it was _super_ scary, 'cuz I was, like, a giant _monster made of water_ and...-" Aang trailed off, no-doubt noticing the state of the others.

"You guys OK?" Suki murmured.

"Group hug time!" Sokka tearfully squeaked in that jokingly dramatic way of his. Toph could feel their bodies approach.

If anyone else touches me, it _better_ be Aang. Thankfully, it was. He seemed to lean against her back, stretching his arms out to reach Sokka and Katara. _Smirtch._ Suki kissed Sokka. Freaking-! What the hell? Had to ruin the moment, stupid bit- _Smmmmrrrrkch._ Oh! Hey...Who was that on her forehead? Those lips had to be Katara's. Too sweet and sugary for Sokka. Her stomach went fluttery and her eyes continued to leak. She squished her face into Sokka's chest, rubbing her nose into it just once. OK, maybe twice. She wished that moment could last forever. No words, being touched by her three favorite people in the world from all angles, no hiding, no running, no pretending. It was, in a way, alien to think this way. To her, family was never who you were like this with. Family was who you had to escape, who you had to hide things from so you wouldn't get in trouble. Everyone kept telling her this was her family now. If this really was, she didn't ever want to be without it.

Isn't this worth it?  
Yea, it totally is.

* * *

Wet. On her face. And again, more wet. What-?

_"Krriiiit."_

"Noooo, Mooohhmohhh..."

Ack! More licking! Stop it! Trying to sleep here.

Stop it.  
"Soppit..."

 _Rrrr!_ Why was it so cold? Her body tensed up into a fetal position and she grasped at her thick wool blanket to trap more heat.

"Aw, Toph, Sweetie," Katara sang with melancholy. "Here." _Shff-ff-ff-sph._ Shuffling through a bag of supplies. Another layer of weight settled itself across her, and she could feel it being tucked underneath her scrunched up body. "That any better?"

"Mmhm," she hummed with a yawn. Licked on the face in chilly weather was not how she would've liked to wake up, but the good news was that they must have been close to their destination.

"Well, we should be there before nightfall," Katara assured, "So just stay covered until then and I promise we'll get a nice warm coat for you. Suki, how are-?" There was a pause. "Oh! Um..." Oh, boy. That was a mad Katara. She cleared her throat, deliberately loudly. Toph's feet and hands were wrapped in cloth, her head planted in a pillow. Between that and her groggy state of mind she was having trouble telling what was going on, exactly. Whatever it was, it must have been on the ground, while she was resting on Appa. Katara coughed out an "Ahem!" once again, even louder.

"Ohp! Yep! Eh-w-we're just fine!" Sokka nervously called from below, the sound of a sleeping bag _shpoof_ -ing around quickly. Ew! Had they been being gross again?

"Can't _believe_ those two," Katara grumbled to herself under her breath and she started folding . "So rude...should keep that private...inconsiderate..." Toph couldn't help but wonder why Katara was so bothered by them being all kissy. It didn't seem to annoy her very much in the past, so what was the deal all of a sudden? Well, whatever. Man, why did it have to be so freaking cold? _Brrr._ She scrunched her body up in an attempt to stay warm. _  
_

_fwwwooooOOOOOSSSSH!_

Wah! Wh-what the? No! No, not lift off time yet! What the hell? Wait, how did everyone get on Appa so fast? Damnit, had she nodded off? Well, she sure was awake _now._

"Why are we leaving already?" she demanded, scratching dust from her eyes. "What about breakfast?" Frick, she had really wanted to appreciate some ground before another day of flying.

"We need to get to our tribe soon, we're running low on supplies," Sokka explained, shoving what felt like a bunch of bananas at her. "We don't want to be exposed to this weather for too long." He sniffed. Poor guy - that's right, he gave his coat to Suki. Was probably getting a little cold.

"Aren't you freezing?" Toph wondered, clutching her blankets around her tightly now that she was sitting upright.

"Nah, I'll be fine," Sokka dismissed. Another sniff came from his no-doubt leaking nose.  
All right, tough guy, you keep telling yourself that.

"If you say so," Toph shrugged him off, prying open a banana and chucking the peel off-bison behind her. She scarfed it down in a flash and burped as Suki spoke up.

"Oh, Sokka," Suki's concerned voice whimpered. "Your hands are freezing! Why don't you take your gloves back?"

"No, no," he insisted. _Sciff sciff_ , rubbing her hands across his arms.

"Well," Suki spat, pausing as she considered their options. "Why don't you take back your coat and gloves and...I'll share the blankets with Toph." _Excuse me?_ Who said I wanted to share anything with _you?_ I'd rather freeze, thank you.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable," said Sokka sternly. Seriously? Ohhh, OK, so now I'm an inconvenience to be around? Not 'comfortable' to share a blanket with, am I?

"I don't want you getting sick!" Suki pleaded. "Katara," she expectantly begged for assistance.

"Suki's right," Katara agreed in that motherly tone. "You need to keep warm or you'll get ill. You want to be able to enjoy our time with dad, don't you?"

"Yea, being stuck in bed would stink," Aang agreed. Toph certainly didn't like the idea of him sitting around, not being able to show her all of the cool Water Tribe...stuff...he probably wanted to show them.

"All right! OK!" he gave in with some stubbornness. "All right, Rockie, make some space in there."  
 _Eeep._ H-he's just gonna come right in and-? _Fwuffloophum._ Yep. _Spirits,_ he was freaking cold!

She twitched away from his chilled arms.

"Geez, Snoozles, you're like an iceberg!"

"Sorry," he grumbled. The entire blanket bunch was jittering around due to his trembling body. Aw...poor guy. It was his own fault for thinking he was all tough and resilient. She certainly knew better. The blanket tugged a bit, forcing Toph to be pressed against his icy side. Suki was squeezing him in an effort to help warm him up.

 _"Graappp."  
_ "You OK in there, Buddy?" Aang checked as Momo's voice erupted from his neck. "Haha, hey, no squirming-ha! Th-that tickles!"

"Toph, could you help warm him up?" Suki asked. Damnit. She didn't _want_ to share this blanket with him. It was awkward. But she hated feeling his discomfort through every vibration in the wool.

"Are you guys comfortable?" Katara hurriedly checked. "I mean, if you're not, we could probably work something else out, so..." She trailed off.

Sokka informed her, "It's smarter this way," in that direly intelligent manner he occasionally pulled out. "Our combined body heat should help us both stay warmer than we we would be separate." Well, if he _insisted,_ like...she'd be OK with it, she supposed. She'd tolerate it for a while. But only for as long as she absolutely had to! Yea.

"OK," Katara conceded to his logic, her tone conveying just a hint of doubt.

"C'mere," Sokka grunted, his slightly less frigid hands tugging at her. She scooted his way and he helped hoist her into his lap - whoa, heya there. Unexpected. Suki pulled on the blankets to keep them covered.

"There you guys are," she chirped. "Stay all toasty in there."

Sokka, his arms around her waist, gave her a pat on the knee with his icicle hand and spoke in his 'I'm fancypants intelligent' voice, but slow and deliberate with each syllable. "Quaw-lih-tee time with Unk-kole Sawk-kah." Her face was bubbling warm but she tried to play it cool. His stupid humor didn't help, it only made her giggle. She wished she could take that giggle back and hide it away.

"I already have an Uncle, and no offense, but he's kinda cooler than you," she explained as flatly as she could.

"Mmmmyehss, but does he know your _weakness?_ " Huh?

"My weakn-?" Wh-whoa! Hey, no!

Her body began thrashing about, struggling to remove his icy fingers from her arm pits as he deviously laughed at her plight. An eruption of giggles involuntarily spewed forth, until he let up, leaving her gasping and breathing in a half-laugh.

"You're a _jerk!_ " she squealed, reaching her arm up behind her and smacking the side of his head.

"You really are," Suki snickered, _fwap,_ hitting the _other_ side. "Don't be mean to Toph, or you'll get what's coming to you."

"And what's that?" Sokka dared, his tone lowering.

"You don't want to know," Suki coyly teased. They were both oddly silent for a moment and, leaning against Sokka as she was, could feel his heart ramp up momentarily. Ouch. That was her own heart being stabbed with a nail.

"So, Toph!" Katara spat out of nowhere in an attempt to drown them. "Have you thought about what you want to do while we're at the south pole?"

"Y-yea, sure," she stammered, trying desperately to ignore whatever was going on above her. "Umm...W-well, Sokka was gonna take me fishing, uh...I want to, erm..." Huh. Hadn't really thought this one through. What _was_ there to do at the south pole?

"Ya know, I was thinking," Katara proposed sweetly, "Maybe I can show you some of the traditions our tribe has. I mean, if you're going to be a part of our family, then...-"

"That sounds awesome," Toph mustered enthusiasm. Actually, it kind of did sound fun. She had spent so much time in the earth and fire kingdoms, but she had no idea what life for water benders was like.

"We should go hunting!" burst out Suki. Toph was jarred by the feeling of Suki's hands slapping the shoulder of the boy she was leaning against. Toph grabbed Sokka's hands and folded them back around her waist, willing herself to shiver just a little more than her body was by itself to evoke the idea that she needed more warmth. Sokka scratched at her tummy, which was shockingly empty despite having just eaten. Ooooughh. That felt very weird, whatever was going on with her stomach. It was nervousness and fear floating around, mixed together. She lazily leaned her head back into his pectoral and appreciated Sokka's scent, once again focusing on whatever he was telling that stupid Suki.

"-teach you proper tracking techniques. Hunting is _not_ the same up here like it is where you're from."

"Sounds fun, Sweetie. I can't wait." Sweetie was totally not a cool nickname. Snoozles was much better for him. It suited him.

" _I'm_ gonna race penguin-seals," Aang proudly declared. "And win. A lot."

"What makes you so sure _I_ won't win?" Katara prodded playfully. "I've gotten pretty good at waterbending."

"Pff, I'm not gonna _cheat_ ," Aang protested. "No bending. I'm just gonna be faster."

"Ohhhh really?" came Katara's disbelieving sarcasm. "When do you ever not use your bending?"

As both pairs continued their discussions, Toph considered what penguin-seals could possibly be like. Toph had no idea, but had a funny feeling that trying to race them would be an exercise in futility for her. She rubbed Sokka's arm and he dismissively patted her back, still engaged with Suki. Toph found herself seriously wondering if perhaps this, too - all of this - was an exercise in futility.


	16. Jealous

"And there is it," Sokka proclaimed dully, his voice plagued by exhaustion.

The group whimpered out some cheers that were more like sighs of relief. It had been a long, slow, cold day. So slow that at sunset they had dropped altitude to cloud gaze because they were too brain-dead to think of anything more involving to occupy their time with. Cloud-gazing. Yep. Toph had just a _ton of fun_ doing that.

"H-how m-much longer?" Toph cringed through chattering teeth, her body numbed from the frigid air. Sokka had left her alone in the pool of wool to survey the area ahead and ensure they were on their way. Suki remained by her side, rubbing her shoulders through the blankets with padded, mitted hands. It was annoying and Toph didn't understand why Suki was bothering to do so. It didn't feel pleasant at all. Not even a little bit. Maybe _just_ a little. Toph dismissed the pin prick of guilt in her mind, insisting on being completely apathetic toward Suki for the time being.

"Just a few minutes longer, I promise," said Katara with fortitude.

For one reason or another, it had never truly dawned on Toph that the south pole was going to be quite this cold. She had been so focused on the idea of there being no earth, and the notion that a place colder than she'd ever experienced even existed was difficult to consider in the first place.

"Yea, we'll be there real soon, Toph," Sokka agreed. She could hear his teeth rattle together a little bit but was impressed at how well he was holding up.

"...oooOOOOOOooo..."  
 _...fffffOOOOOOsssshh!_

Toph's body tensed up as her blankets were whipped around, threatening to run away as the wind tore at them. Suki helped pin them down, to Toph's dismay and gratitude. What off earth was _that?_ Some screaming banshee, it felt like, soaring around their sky bison.

"All right, Aang!" Katara shouted, a tinge of worry in her voice. Oh, Twinkletoes. Toph was so cold that she wasn't picking up on vibrations well and hadn't even realized he'd left. "Could you be careful? We don't want anyone...falling off..." she trailed off, recognizing that Aang was likely too far off to hear her.

"I-I'm OK," Toph grumbled, blowing her bangs about so they weren't poking into her eyes. "J-j-just a...f-few more m-minutes, right?" Each word had to be forced out through trembling lips and gnashing teeth. It made her want to not even bother trying to talk.

"Right," Suki assured, straightening the blankets back over Toph's body.

I was asking _Katara_.

Aang came back after a couple minutes to land their steed. A blast of chilly air rushed past them, and Toph buried her head in wool in an effort to protect herself. Everything rattled and quaked and some kind of ground formed itself into focus. Sort of. It was hard to tell how much earth there was here, but wherever it was, it was a lot deeper than Toph would've liked. Appa's drawling groan was miserable - poor guy.

"Good job, Buddy," she could hear Aang congratulating his bison. He must have landed ahead of them. "I promise I'll get you some food real soon."

"Speaking of food, we're _home!_ " Sokka declared, _ssffff-skak_ , sliding off Appa and landing on ice. "Blubber jerky, here I come!"

"Do you need some help getting down?" Suki's voice grated into Toph's ear, inches away.

"I-I c-can get d-d-down fine on-on m-my own," she mumbled, her words a defensive dagger poking through the air, saying 'Stay back.'

"OK," Suki barely said, confused. Toph immediately flung herself from her protection and clambered over the edge of Appa's saddle. Her feet were shocked from the particles of ice and water clinging to the sticky fur of the creature.

"Uh," Katara began with an unsure tone. "Toph? I'm not sure that's such a-" The rest of her sentence was lost in the sounds of wet fur brushing against her face when she lost her grip, slipping to the ground in an inst...- _Fuck_ was it cold! What in the hell?

She struggled to get out of the freezing snow, a substance she had very little experience with but despised all the same. She got up from her knees to- _-Ohhhh shit!_ Now her feet were in it! Ick-ick-ick-cold-cold-wet-BLEH!

"OK, OK!" Katara cried, as Toph felt a poofy mass of clothing pressing into her front. As her body leaned into it, she recognized the feeling of Katara within the furry coat. Wow, she had gotten there quick. Katara grunted with effort, lifting Toph from the horrible snow to hitch a ride on her back. "You don't wanna get any frostbite," she cautioned.

"Wh-wh-what's fr-frost-b-bite?" Toph chattered, suddenly somewhat afraid. She tightly gripped the leather Katara was encased in, wishing she had her own. Would her feet get eaten off if she walked here barefoot?

"If your feet get too cold they could freeze very bad," Katara hurriedly explained. Oh. No biting of toes? That was a relief, at least. "We have to get her inside, she's going to freeze out here."

Toph's dampened clothes dried up, the water being purged from them.

"Thanks, Aang," Katara said. Oh, waterbending.

"Yup," Aang said simply from behind. "The village is right over there."

"Yea," Sokka supported. He rubbed Toph's back fiercely, and she wished she wasn't feeling so numb so she could appreciate it more. "We're already here, we just need to get you inside. All right? Eh? Hang in there, Champ." Wasn't _he_ freezing, too?

Toph could hear the sounds of greetings from various voices up ahead. At least the wait wouldn't be much longer. _Runsh, runsh, runsh,_ went Katara's footsteps as they proceeded. She immediately missed the _thip_ -ing she had grown so accustomed to.

"Heya!" Sokka's voice bellowed, shrinking as he dashed ahead with Aang and Suki.

"Sokka! You're back!"  
"The Avatar!"  
"Oh, hi!"  
"We heard that you defeated the Fire Lord!"  
"Aheheh, yeeeep, well, I mean, it was...-"  
That was Twinkletoes, trying to push off the glory for something he was fully entitled to.

"It's been quite some time, Sokka! Your father told us all about how you broke him out of the Boiling Rock!"  
"Yea, that was...It was crazy! Um, actually, we've got someone who needs to get warmed up here, we need to get some clothes for 'em."  
Aww, he's worried about me.

"You're shaking really bad, Toph," Katara piped up from a few inches away. Her concern warmed Toph's mind. "Why did you do that? We could have helped you get down safely."

"D-don't wh-wh-want...-" she managed. Screw it, talking was too much effort at this point.

"Toph," Katara sighed. "What's your problem with Suki lately?"

Toph's trembling body continued to clench tightly to her friend but she said not a word, a whimpering shiver the only thing escaping her lips.

"Sorry," Katara muttered with guilt. "We'll talk about this later...We need to get you warm first. But you have to be careful out here or you could get sick or hurt. OK?"

"Rrrmmm," Toph dully growled in defiance. She couldn't really feel her fingers anymore but the sounds of the village drew near, and with each padding footstep Katara made she could barely make out the shapes of people and structures. Her senses went numb as she slipped into sleep.

"...she...warm...now.."  
"..here..."  
 _Ffffffff._  
"...yegfs..oewp..."  
"..pewj!...sdhj!.."

* * *

_Wwwwhhhhhhrrrrr..._  
Fff. Fffff. Ff.  
Crick-crak-kakle-pop.  
Blblblblblooblbloop.

Mm. Warm. Much nicer. That smell was nice, too, though she had no idea what it was. Sounded like soup being cooked just outside the building she was in, the winds whipping at fabric pleasantly - a doorway. Her body was tightly enveloped in leather, wool, fur...It felt fantastic. She sighed out slowly, pleased with her current situation.

"Well, good morning!" Katara greeted. "How are you feeling?"

Toph hummed happily in reply, then yawned. Katara chuckled at her wordless answer. Toph blinked her eyes, that familiar feeling of sand plugging them up. She didn't want to remove her arms from their pockets of heat and was content with where she was.

"Breakfast will be done soon, and after that we'll catch up with Dad."

Toph suddenly recalled where they were and why the world around her outside of this structure didn't seem to exist. She recalled Katara carrying her through the cold the night prior.

_We'll talk about this later...  
_ Was it later yet?

"Where's everyone else?"

"Oh, Aang is with Sokka and Suki. They're all with Dad catching some fish for food today."

"How come... _you're_ not with your dad?"

"Oh, me?" Katara's shuffling around paused. "I...well, I was worried about you. I didn't want to leave you alone, ya know?"  
Someone else could've watched over me, though...But you chose to stay here for me.

"Thanks, Katara."

"No problem, Toph." Katara's motions picked up again. Toph couldn't tell what was going on between the lack of solid earth and the layers she was wrapped within. Her friend's presence vanished in a _fwuffle_ and the soup's sound outside was altered due to the person now standing in front of it. It smelled great, a mix of fish and a little red meat, based on the scent.

The two enjoyed a few minutes of silence as Katara finished food, but a shard of uneasiness remained in the back of Toph's mind.

_What's your problem with Suki lately?_

The thought was put off again when the soup was ready, pulling Toph from her comfortable position in a cocoon of warmth. As she emerged, she did in fact feel like a moth, garbed in a completely different set of clothing. Perplexed but nevertheless relieved, she ran her hands across it. Leather, fur, thick padded cloth, boots...Meh. The boots. A blessing and a curse. She couldn't sense anything properly with them on, but it felt much more pleasant than having painful popsicles for feet.

"Is it comfortable?" Katara wondered, handing Toph a pewter bowl. Pewter - rock! Earth! Ohhhh, delightful. She ran her fingers over it gleefully for a moment, then remembered to answer her friend's question.

"Uh, yea, it's good," she muttered. "Kinda not cool with the whole...boots...thing..."

"I know," Katara sympathized, "But please promise me you'll keep them on, OK? It can get pretty cold here and I don't want you hurting your feet."

"Hmph."

"Promise me, Toph," Katara insisted firmly. Toph wanted to be irritated by this controlling type of behavior but she knew it was out of wisdom and concern, so she conceded.

"All right," she grumbled. "I promise."

"You're going to have to thank the family who gave it to you. They had a girl who'd outgrown your size so they had an extra set of clothes they'd held onto."

"OK," Toph agreed plainly. That was certainly fair. Not like anyone was obligated to give her their clothes. Enough talk of what she was wearing. She was warm, that's what mattered. She was hungry. That mattered even more right now. Warm broth with foreign fish chunks and chewy exotic meat passed into her mouth. Her tastebuds had a party - but not a normal one, this was like a costume party or something. The theme was 'pirates.' Arrgh. Avast ye and ahoy.

"So, what's going on, Toph?" _Sssfffpp._ Katara sipped at her soup daintily, while Toph was swallowing it down in large portions. Toph had to take a moment to savor this piece of fish, its tender texture giving way to a juicy moment of bliss.

"Not much. Freezing my butt off, falling into the snow-"

"Acting weird around Suki?"

Derp. Um...denial. Let's go with denial.  
Why?  
It's easier that way.

"What? What're you talking about, Sugar Queen?"

"Don't even try it with me, Toph. Something's up with you lately. Something _besides_ your family." _Sssfffpp._

"Fine," she grunted.  
Go ahead and tell me what it is, then, Katara, if you're so smart.

"Well? What's going on?" Katara's tone had softened. She had been forceful at first because she was worried, and now that worry was showing through. "You don't have to deal with things by yourself anymore. You _know_ that."

"Yea," Toph said, almost to herself, before eating another bite of soup.

"I've noticed you've been acting weird around Suki lately," Katara repeated her observation. "Like you're mad at her. Did something happen?"  
Yea, she fucking stole him from me before I even had a chance to do anything about it.

"Not really. I just don't like her."

"You guys got along fine before." Katara said it with a layer of innocent ignorance pasted on top but not thick enough to disable Toph from noticing that she was hiding the truth.

"Ehhh," Toph winced doubtfully. "Maybe 'cuz I knew I had to put up with her."

"Or maybe because you're jealous?" Katara coyly prodded. _Sssfffpp._

Toph could feel her innards tighten and coil up in fear and embarrassment, but she tried to continue to eat her soup, her hand trembling a bit. Hopefully Katara didn't notice. She opened her mouth to deny it, but Katara interrupted.

"Don't you lie to me, either, Toph," she warned sternly. She quieted her voice to attempt to soothe her. "I know it might be hard to talk about it. I know we don't always see eye-to-eye. I mean, I guess we never _can,_ because...-"

Toph let out an involuntary chuckle. Damnit, she was choking up. _Why?_ She wasn't even upset or angry or anything! What was the _deal?_

"Anyway," Katara quickly spat, getting back on track, "Toph, aren't we like sisters at this point? You can _talk_ with me about this. If you need me to keep a secret, I _can._ You're already going through a lot with what happened with your family, and I don't want to see you get hurt even more."

Toph could _feel_ it in Katara's voice. 'I love you. Lean on me.' The affection in her words was a wave splashing itself against her wall, the liquid seeping in through the cracks. She swallowed and held back the pressure building in her eyes - stupid, useless eyes that only seemed to be good at leaking freaking water these days, and she didn't even know why.

"I don't-It's...I shouldn't," she stammered. She ate more soup to give her body something to do besides melt into a puddle of frustration and shame.

"The boys may be idiots and can't tell what's going on, and Suki might not know you as well as I do," the girl before her specified, "but I've noticed how you've been acting weird lately."

_Ugh,_ what do I do? What do I do? _  
Stand your ground. Bend the rules for your family._ Don't run away.

"It's my brother," Katara concluded solemnly. "You have feelings for him, don't you?"

Toph's face was now boiling. So much so that she had to cover it up with her hands to prevent it from burning anything.

"Oh!" Katara whimpered out in surprise at Toph's reaction. She could feel Katara crawl over to her side and stamp palms into her shoulders. "No, no, it's OK!" she assured nervously. "I'm not upset or anything! Don't feel bad!"

"What am I _supposed_ to feel?" Toph growled, tucking her knees up and burying her face in them. She could hear Katara sigh in reply, uncertain as to how to respond. Pff, well that was a _good_ sign...

"You can't _help_ how you feel," Katara slowly explained in a gentle whisper. The pressure on Toph's shoulders tightened for a moment, then loosened. "I don't get why all you girls find my idiot brother so fascinating," she joked. Toph smirked half-heartedly through her shame. "But it's OK to like someone like that, Toph, it's natural."

"Not if they don't _care,_ " Toph pouted with a huff.

"What makes you say that?" Katara asked sweetly. The queen was putting extra sugar in her words to pacify Toph's anger.

"He has no _idea,_ " Toph decided. "He's always paying attention to that other girl, and they're always being all gross, and, and-"

"I-I know," Katara complied, cutting in to calm her. Toph didn't _want_ to be calmed. "And I'm sorry he's been doing that. But like you said, he has no idea, Toph."

"I don't care! I don't wanna have to put up with those two and all their kissing and touching and _whatever_ they do in their tent at night!"

"Wh-? Wait...What are you talking about...?" Uh-oh. There was angry Katara again. Angry Katara always started off slow and sly and suspicious before she exploded. Now Toph felt bad for bringing this up. She didn't want Sokka getting in trouble.

"Uh, um, they just...I don't know, whatever they do, it...it's annoying."

" _What's_ annoying?" Katara asked calmly. Calm in the creepy way.

"W-well, I can hear things pretty well and I can _feel_ things through the earth, so at night I have to put up with whatever they've doing."

"What _are_ they doing?" Katara quietly seethed.

"Umm...Just...Like...Gross stuff!" Toph spat impatiently. It was so _awkward,_ she didn't want to have to describe these things she didn't even understand.

"I can't _believe_ this," Katara grumbled beneath her breath. "He should _know_ better than...Ugh!" she huffed, _fwack!_ That smack to her own forehead sounded painful. "Ohhhh, he's got some explaining to do," she decided to herself aloud.

"W-well, I don't know for _sure_ what-"

"I know," Katara acknowledged with dainty resolve. "I know. It's...That shouldn't be happening. I mean, I guess...He's old enough to make his own decisions, but...I can't believe he-no, _they_..." Ha. Yes. Suki wasn't off the hook. "I can't believe they don't even have the patience to keep this stuff to themselves..." If Suki was going to be in trouble, too, well...Hmph. No use defending them, then. Katara had already made up her mind, anyway.

"Whatever," Toph dismissed, finally lifting her head. "I don't even _care,_ I just...I don't _like_ this feeling."

"Right," Katara murmured, her mind snapping back to sympathy. "No, I-yea. I mean, it's..." Still trying to grasp her footing from that bout of irritation, it seemed. "It's hard, Toph. I know. And-and you have other stuff you're working through, so...You just-you shouldn't have to even _deal_ with this right now." I know, right? This was bull crap.

"Maybe if I did what Aang did I wouldn't have to..."

"Huh?" Katara had started to press her fingers into Toph's back. Ow. _Ow._ Man. Her back really hurt...But the pain Katara was causing was helping somehow. Toph specified what she meant.

"Aang told me that he made sure you knew how he felt before anything could happen..."

"Oh," Katara squeaked. "Y-yea, he did...I didn't really know what to make of it at first, but...-"

"I waited too long," Toph concluded abruptly. "I kept it inside and lied and pretended like it didn't matter and now it _does_ and I _hate_ it."

"Oh, Toph," Katara sighed, continuing to work on squeezing out her back muscles. "I know that must be how it feels, but you don't know if anything would've changed. It might've made things worse..."

"Whatever," came a gruff reply. "Doesn't even matter anymore, anyway." Her back twitched here and there, shots of pain shooting through her as Katara's nimble fingers dug into it, crushing out the tension.

"Hun," Katara insisted, "You can't be so down on yourself. You never know what could happen in the future. You're still young. _We_ are still young! You know? I'm sure there's a lucky guy out there that will be worth waiting for." _  
Ugh,_ not you, too, Katara! With the waiting? And the waiting for something I don't even _want_? I don't wanna wait for another fruit to fall off the damned stupid tree, I want _this_ fruit!

"I guess," Toph groaned, doing her best to be perfectly miserable about it.

"I know it seems impossible right now, but trust me: give it time and eventually this will be in the past." What about not giving up? What about destiny, and just _knowing_ it was how things were supposed to be?

"How do you know that?" Toph whined, grunting as Katara struck a very tight muscle in her back.

"Because," Katara replied forcefully, pushing her fingers hard into the knot of tension. _Damn,_ that really hurt but in a therapeutic fashion. "Wow," Katara whispered, digressing. "Your back is in _horrible_ shape..." She breathed slowly, recovering from the effort. "I know that," she continued her original thought, "because that's how I felt when I liked Jet and found out how violent he really was..."

"Jet," Toph murmured, sprawling herself onto her stomach so that Katara could more effectively massage. "Wasn't he that guy who used to be you boyfriend? The one that...er...-"

Katara's hands slowed to a stop.

"He was never my boyfriend," she coldly insisted. Toph could feel Katara's heart-rate through her hands. She wasn't _lying,_ but...there was more to it than that. "I liked him. More than I should have. I wish things hadn't turned out for him the way that they did," she clarified with melancholic resolve, her hands trembling. "But...that's my point, Toph." She went back to work on Toph's stubborn back, pushing her thick braid aside. "We never know what could happen. We can't control how we feel. I guess part of me always liked Aang in a way," she admitted sheepishly. "I never thought anything would happen for a long time, though. He was just...I don't know. Too young?"  
I'm too young. That's what he thinks, isn't it?

"But...Aang grew up so _much_ in such a short time. I learned about who he was underneath that...dorky bald head." Her sadness had melted away, revealing satisfaction and joy.

"Twinkletoes really is a pretty sweet guy," Toph chimed with optimism. Maybe Aang knew they'd be together, but...Katara didn't. And she was still happy. Maybe someone out there would think that way about her some day - be so determined to be with her - and be right. But she didn't quite like that thought entirely, since it meant Sokka might not be that person.

"He is," Katara beamed. "I'm not sure how things will work out, but I can't imagine life without him in it anymore. I don't _want_ to."

"Is that what love is like?"

Katara giggled, her palms easing Toph's back through the animal skin shirt she wore.

"I guess that's part of it, yea."  
Hm. I know what that's like. I think that's how I feel about you guys.

Toph felt a gentle slapping on her back, and with that, Katara's hands lifted.

"Thanks," Toph sighed in relief, sitting upright and stretching her arms out. Her back felt much better after that. Maybe all that 'healing' stuff Katara focused on wasn't such a bad idea.

"You're welcome." Warm words. _Thip. Thip. Thip. _Sssfffpp.__ "I'm sorry." Cold words.

"Why are you sorry?" Toph wondered, eagerly attacking her own soup again. "You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of this...And that I can't really do anything to help." She chuckled through her sorrow, then added, "And I'm sorry you have to deal with liking my _brother_ of all people." Toph couldn't help but smile, her face full of fish. "We're...kind of still kids, though, Toph. We still have a lot of time ahead of us, you know?" __Sssfffpp.__

The idea was foreign. Toph had been concentrating on what she had now, today, and no other time. Every thought of the future was riddled with fear and infected with doubt. Toph finished her soup silently and took a deep breath, impressed with the fact that she hadn't freaking _cried_ again. Suddenly, Katara's hand was in her own.

"A lot of time to find out where we're all headed," Katara added. Toph's bare hand was squeezed tight and she felt a grateful smile overcome her. "And a lot of time for your Big Sister to watch over you."

Toph's hand involuntarily clenched back. She didn't need to ask, it was OK. She reached out her open head and came upon a smooth, flat surface. Forehead. Light traces of oil - Aang's skin was dry. She ran her fingers down and reached a somewhat bulbous blob of nose. Hee. Katara had a pudgy nose, very different from Aang's. Her cheeks were defined and strong, her ears round and stiff, her hair a trailing, thick and frizzy mess.

"I know my ears aren't as big as Aang's," Katara joked. Ah, so Aang had told her. No wonder she seemed so comfortable with it.

"Heehee, well...Remember a while back, when I said I wish I could tell you if you were pretty? But I couldn't?"

"Hm?" It took her a moment. "In Ba Sing Se? When we had our girl's day?"

"Yea," acknowledged, letting her hand fall onto Katara's shoulder. She felt Katara's powerful, steady heart beat course through her fingertips. "Now I think I can. You're a beautiful Big Sister."

"Thanks, Toph," Katara laughed, patting the hand on her shoulder.

"I don't want you guys to leave," Toph muttered timidly, her walls crumbled into a pile at this point.

"I know," Katara confidently replied. "I'm not going to. _We_ aren't going to. I told you that you're like our sister, and our family sticks together. I promise."

Memories of a man and a woman dismissing Toph to be cared after by sterile servants were aggressively shoved aside to make room for this moment and the others like it she had recently come across. It was uplifting and relieving. Toph's concern for how tough or strong she was had ceased mattering at some point earlier without her realization until now. Carrying her own weight had become tiring. Refusing to ask for assistance was a burden. But this: this was invigorating and empowering. Maybe Destiny wasn't as harsh on her as she had given it credit for being. Maybe letting fruits fall to her like this was a good thing, and she simply needed to stop hiding behind her fortress of rock to receive them.


	17. Like Me

"Yes, Sir. I'm feeling much better now." Toph's mind raced through possibilities of what would be best to say next. "Thanks," was what she came up with. Her memories of 'proper' conduct with adults made her feel like she could be conducting herself with more finesse, but she couldn't recall how to do so.

"What's this 'Sir' business, young lady?" his raw voice inquired with a hearty laugh. "If you're going to be a part of this family from now on, you're going to have to start calling me Hakoda."

"Ah-All right, Hakoda," she replied with a nod, trying not to mumble. The last time she had encountered Hakoda in any proper form had been after Sokka and Zuko had broken him free from the Boiling Rock Prison. It had felt weird to know this man was Katara and Sokka's father, a leader of their tribe, and yet he was so much less formal than her own parents. He let his children take care of themselves, run free around the world, even when he knew there was danger. Toph respected that and wished her own-...She wished _those people_ had that much confidence in her own abilities without her having to prove anything.

"Are you sure you're feeling all right, Toph?" he asked suspiciously.

Toph realized that her hand was gripping her stomach, which was feeling weird and abnormally full.

"She's a little shaken up," Katara explained, her fingers tickling Toph's bangs. "But thanks to the Mikita family she's got a good set of clothes so she's a lot warmer now."

"Yea, it's... _really_ cold around here," Toph noted, scratching at her arm. The clothes were definitely warm and surprisingly comfortable but she wasn't used to them. They made her whole body feel a bit slower and heavier. "How do you guys survive in this ice pile?" she wondered in earnest. "I mean, you guys don't even waterbend?"

"Life here can be dangerous if you're not careful," Hakoda explained. "But we're also free to live as we please." _Thum thum thum_ his footsteps drummed as he retrieved a bowl from somewhere behind. "Nature is our ruler. She can be unforgiving and cruel but unlike the rule of man, She holds no biases. We survive here by living by Nature's law, and I would prefer that to any law created by man." That was one way of looking at it, huh? Kind of like how Toph ran away from hoity-toity society to be free in the open world. It certainly made things more difficult but more rewarding. She believed she understood where Hakoda was coming from.

 _Blup, whrrrrp._ He had filled his bowl in the pot of soup just outside as Toph had contemplated his words.

"That makes sense," she told him as he returned, swallowing his bites whole.

"Stick with my children and they'll take good care of you, Toph," he advised. "They've become stronger than I ever imagined they could for their age." There was a moment of silence in which Toph imagined the two were somehow projecting affection through that mystical ability of 'sight,' but Toph could feel the pride in Hakoda's voice well - pride, that which she never received willingly and fought so hard to intimidate out of an audience, a wrestler, a stupid boy with a boomerang...

"Toph here is even stronger than when you last met her," Katara assured. "She's probably the greatest earthbender I've ever met." In reply, Toph nodded casually and smirked.

"Not gonna argue with that," she gloated.

"I recall seeing some of your work," Hakoda noted. "Truly impressive for someone as young as yourself."

"It's a gift," Toph 'humbly' shrugged the compliment off. In a strange way, she was starting to get tired of hearing about how strong she was, how powerful her earthbending had become. What did it matter if inside she was confused and angry? She remembered Aang describing running away from his people - knowing he would be strong and powerful some day, but it not mattering because he wouldn't be happy.

"She really _is_ like a sister to us, Dad," Katara insisted, shaking Toph a bit by the shoulders playfully. "We _are_ going to include her, too, right?"

"Of course," Hakoda agreed, belting out a laugh.

"Include me in what?" Toph wondered. It sounded good, based on the way Katara said it.

"You'll find out," Katara teased with a giggle, swaying her body left and right.

"Hey, guys!" It was Meathead. When did he show up? She hadn't even felt him-oh, right. Ice below. Boots on her feet. Her sensibility was practically zero compared to what she was used to.

"Hey, Sokka," Katara greeted, her tone noticeably less enthusiastic than it had just been, but still sweet enough not cover any hint of irritation Toph had caught onto.

"Did you pull in a good catch, my boy?" _Slap. Slap._

"Well, it wasn't...amazing," Sokka admitted timidly. "But it's definitely enough for what we need for today."

"Good to hear, good to hear...Ahhh, and Suki, my Dear!"

"Hi, Hakoda!"

"Did she do well, Sokka?"

"She did great! It's like she's gone fishing before, or something!"

"I live on an _island,_ Sweetie."  
Sweetie? Gag.

"I _know!_ It's great! I didn't even have to teach you anything."

"I'm a fast learner."

"Haha. Well, I'm glad that my son has found someone who matches his level of keen thinking." Stupid idiot ninja and her dumb-Katara's hands squeezed at her shoulders soothingly, making it simpler to leave her bitterness alone.

"I wouldn't say _keen,_ " Suki teased.

"Heyheyhey, Sokka-Style is like a fine wine that must be left to sit to improve its flavor. You can't rush _genius._ "

"Genius?" Katara laughed. "So _that's_ what we're calling it now..."

A sudden pain gripped itself around Toph's abdomen. Kind of like a stomach ache combined with a charlie horse. She absorbed it as best she could, hoping no one in all their jest would notice. It calmed down as quickly as it had come. Maybe swallowing all that fish without chewing hadn't been such a good idea?

"Heya, there, Toph!" Sokka greeted. "You look a lot better. Feelin' all right?"

"Yea," she responded flatly. "I'm fine."

"Awesome. She's going to be in it, too, right?" His voice projected at a different angle, like he was talking above her, to Katara.

"She is," Katara beamed.

"Well, all _right!_ You ready, Rocky?"

"For what?"

* * *

The clamoring died down, leaving them to stand in silence.

"I'm kinda nervous," Toph whispered to her right.

"Why?" Aang whispered back.

"I dunno. This just...feels weird."

"'Cuz they're strangers?"

"Yea..."

"Weren't _we_ strangers at some point, too?" Aang pointed out with a sly glee.

"Good point, Twinkletoes."

_wwwwhhhhrrrrrr.  
fffooooooooo._

The chill of the icy breeze tossed tiny, frigid particles at Toph's face, causing her brows and nose to wrinkle with discomfort and her body to shiver. She rubbed her arms with her gloves with brisk urgency to be done with this whole event. She wasn't so sure she liked these gloves, either. They were like boots for her _hands._ All thick and furry and she couldn't feel anything through them. Better that than her hands getting frostbitten off.

 _cronsh cronsh cronsh.  
_ Footsteps, but out here in the snow and ice, everyone's footsteps in their thick boots all kind of felt the same. Grr. A voice began to speak out. It was Hakoda.

"We have come together today to recognize the deeds of two young individuals who have found their way into the hearts of members of our tribe. They have protected our kin and have been accepted as family by our own. Like drops of water into a pool, so do they join together with the rest of us as honorary members of the Southern Water Tribe."

A series of _cronshes_ mingled together and Toph could feel two figures approach them while Hakoda stepped away, likely into the crowd Toph had been told existed but could not detect.

"Aang," came the bold voice of Sokka from the right, in front of Twinkletoes. He was solemn and heartfelt, a side that Toph rarely experienced but relished. It was the rarity yet the truthfulness when he acted like this that made it so fascinating to her. "When we first met, I remember being so hesitant to help you out. I was selfish and couldn't see past this village to what else was out there. You gave me an excuse to leave home and see the world, and I found out who I really was and what I really cared about. And ya know what? You became part of what I really cared about. Not because you were the Avatar, but because of who you were _as Aang._ I used to think you were just an annoying crazy kid who looked a _little_ too wide-eyed when he was with my sister." Some giggles flowed out from the nothingness beyond and the four of them shared a moment of laughter amongst themselves before Sokka continued.

"But as much as I'd like to think I've grown up from all of this...crazy _stuff_ we've been through, there's no doubt in my mind that you've grown a lot more." _Sfff._ Toph believed she could barely sense that Sokka was resting his hand on Aang's shoulder. "You're braver than anyone else I know. You never quit, you never accept failure - and even when you fail, you just use that as an excuse to do better next time." _Ssfff._ The arm slid off. The words he spoke had abnormally long pauses between them, leaving Toph feeling like she was missing something. "Bravery...Wisdom...Love...This is what I see in you, Aang. You may not be as smart as I am," he slipped in humorously, "but you're a lot wiser. I'm proud of you, and I'm honored to welcome you to our tribe as my brother." _Clap._ Their hands grasped together tightly. _Sniff._ Oh, boy. That sounded like Aang was crying. Damnit. This almost was making _her_ cry and they hadn't even gotten to her yet...

"Toph," Katara called loudly, following Sokka's pattern. "You and I have always had our differences. It took us a long time to get along well together and even then...we still have our moments." She choked out a laugh. "We are very different people. But I think we have come to need each other. You made me realize that...-" Her breathing became sharp for a moment. She was fighting back tears herself, and it was making Toph's own eyes inflate. "-...made me realize that even when we lose people we love...-" Her mother. "-...we have to keep going and we have to do it for ourselves. We have to stand on our own two feet. Only then can we walk alongside those we love." A gloved hand fell upon her left shoulder, accompanied by a _sniff_. "As much as we have all grown, you remind me that there are some things that define us, things we should never let anyone change. Even when people hurt you for being who you are, you don't ever let them change you from being true to yourself." The hand slid off. Toph could hear Katara shifting something around in her hands. Nimble fingers brushed against her forehead, pushing her flopping bangs aside and tucking them behind her ears.

"Strength..." The tip of Katara's bare index finger pressed itself against the right side of her forehead, and in that instant, Katara's body became apparent. Her rough, emotional breath, her elevated heart-rate, as the finger, dipped in something wet, ran down to Toph's brow, leaving a trail of sticky substance. "Fortitude..." Again, the finger returned, this time to the middle of her head and down. Toph appreciated the contact in this environment of relative emptiness. "Self-Respect..." And finally, the left side of her head. "This is what I see in you, Toph. You never give up and you are true to who you are." Aw, crap. All this crying was getting tiring. Toph rubbed at her face with her glove, absorbing tears into its thick material. "I'm proud of you, and I'm honored to welcome you into our tribe as my sister." Toph was busy wiping at her face while Katara gently removed the glove on her unoccupied right hand. She clenched her slender, bare hand around Toph's, and Toph squeezed back.

_cronsh cronsh cronsh_

"Here," Hakoda's voice whispered. _Clunnlp._ She could sense a cup of metal being passed to Sokka, and the sound it made indicated that there was water inside. Toph remembered that this was the cup they were supposed to drink from to kind of seal the whole deal at the end. Hakoda finished the ceremony.

"This young man, Aang, and this young woman, Toph, come to us with no families of their own. Our own family, Sokka and Katara, have welcomed these two into their hearts. Now, so shall we, with the blessing of the sea."

"With the blessing of the sea," the congregation echoed.

"With the blessing of the sea, now you are like me," said Sokka with serene joy, passing the cup to Aang. _Ffffpph_ he sipped. Aang then sputtered a bit, clearly put off by the water's flavor. Was it sea water? That would kind of make sense here, huh?

Toph's mind and heart were overcome with a flood of thoughts and emotions. Her eyes were no longer draining out tears but remained full and quivering as Katara handed her the glove she had pulled off. _Clunnlp._ Now Katara had the metal cup. She sniffled again, gently pressing the metal into Toph's gloves. She grasped it carefully with both hands, savoring the tin. She wished her gloves were still off. This all felt so different than the formalities she was used to. There was a raw emotion to this that no event she had ever gone to under the Bei Fong name had carried.

"With the blessing of the sea, now you are like me," Katara whispered warmly, her voice reminding Toph of a campfire. Toph didn't chicken out - she took a normal sip, coughing as the salty water passed down her throat. It burned but it was cleansing. As it hit her stomach she was gripped by another cramp in her abdomen. _Ugh,_ what the hell? Ruining a perfect moment here. She toughed it out, unwavering, and passed the cup back to Katara.

Before she knew it, she was pressed into a pile of fur and leather and flesh, warm breath and gloves. Such a simple ceremony, but it felt life-changing somehow. The most extravagant thing that had been used was a dented old tin cup and yet Toph felt more power in drinking from that piece of old metal than any jeweled chalice she had ever placed her hands upon.

* * *

 _Gurk. Ulllgh._ What was the deal with her stomach? This was getting annoying. She was actually kind of enjoying her time in this foreign land with these people and her body just didn't seem to be agreeing with it. This was a problem given that they were trying to eat lunch.

"That was...so beautiful, guys," Suki mused thoughtfully.

"It was my idea to do it," Sokka bragged.

"What _was_ it, exactly?" Aang wondered.

"That was the right of passage ceremony we hold when accepting new members into our tribe that weren't born into us," Hakoda explained. "Usually it's when someone from one village moves to another, such as through marriage. Or if someone from the Northern Water Tribe nation were to move here, we would conduct that ritual."

"Sooo...It usually _is_ for Water Tribe members?" Toph checked. Hee. That made her and Aang special, didn't it?

"That's true, Toph," Hakoda replied. "But Sokka felt it would be appropriate to modify the ritual to suit you two being accepted. I felt it was fitting given how close you all seem to be, and that neither of you seem to have anyone else to call 'family.'"

"It's an honor," Aang proudly assured. "But Suki, why didn't you join us?"

"It just didn't feel right," Suki explained. "You guys have been traveling together for so long...I just feel like I haven't...'earned' it yet, you know?"  
Damn right you haven't.

Toph felt a sharp pain bump her in the rib.

"Hey," Katara scolded in a whisper through the chewing and Aang replying to Suki. "That's rude, Toph." Wha? Wait, had she muttered that out loud? Clearly, only Katara had heard. Thank goodness she was sitting on the corner of the table, then.

"Whatever," she grumbled back. She didn't care. She was feeling grouchy and her stomach was bothering her and her back was hurting again and she was feeling cold from all this stupid... _cold._ She should feel great after the deluge of pleasant emotions that had recently been blasted across her being but her body was simply disagreeing with her heart right then.

"-a Kyoshi warrior, so I kind of already have a tribe I belong to."

"I guess that makes sense," Aang admitted. "I used to have a tribe, but..."

"You have a new one, now," Katara affectionately told him, kissing him with a _smitch._

"That's right," Hakoda acknowledged. "I understand that you may end up being a more...involved...member of our tribe some day," he prodded.

"Ahhh, w-well, maybe," Aang fumbled out, _kacling,_ dropping his fork.

"Dad!" Katara spat with a lightly incredulous tone. "Don't intimidate him," she giggled. "We're not adults, we don't know what we're going to do just yet."

"Soon enough, Aang will be a man," Hakoda pointed out. _Slap, pat, pat._ "Just like Sokka here."

"If _Sokka_ is a man," Katara joked, "then I fear for the future of our people."

"Sokka will make a great leader," Hakoda insisted. "Especially if he has his family here to support him." There was a calm silence that fell over everyone as they continued to eat. Toph knew what that silence meant: everyone wasn't entirely sure if this place was where they would end up. Well, one person seemed to know, at least.

"I'm gonna try my hardest," Sokka acknowledged. "I just...think I'll need some lessons in public speaking first."

"Wait, you're going to become chief of this tribe?" Suki muttered. "Did you finally decide?"

"Uh, y-yea," Sokka sheepishly answered. "Dad's gonna need to take a break and retire at _some_ point, am I right?"

"Hahaaa," Hakoda bellowed. "Let's not jump the gun here, Son. There's still a lot I need to teach you. But by the time I'm done with him, Suki, I promise he'll be a strong warrior and chief."

"Oh," Suki said simply. In that one word Toph could hear the underlying tone: 'uh-huh, I _see_ , so _that's_ how it is.'  
Whatsamatter, Suki? Got a problem with Meathead being the c _hief_ of his own people? Not good enough for ya? Want him to go run back with you to your pretty Miss Makeup Brigade?

"So, Katara," Aang eagerly piped up. "You finally wanna go cliff diving today?"

"Cliff-? Wh-ah-are you sure that'd be a good idea around here?"

"Are you kidding? It'd be an _awesome_ idea! It's so beautiful here, and-and there's so many big ice cliffs by the ocean!"

"Dad," Katara pleaded, "Don't you think cliff diving around here would be dangerous?"

"Far be from _me_ to tell you kids what's dangerous," Hakoda dismissed her submission. "You've faced greater dangers this year alone than I ever have in my whole life!"

"If you're too _chicken_ to go have some fun..." Sokka taunted. A _buh-bawk_ seemed to find its way from his mouth.

"What? I am _not_ scared," Katara protested with a huff.

"Then you'll come?" Aang asked.

"Yes, _yes,_ fine," Katara agreed, sighing.

"I wanna go," Toph decided. "Could I go, too?"

"I'll go," Sokka added. "You up for it, Suki?"

"I'm not so sure," Suki mumbled with doubt. "Aang and Katara can bend water and air. We...can't."

"Well, that's why you dive into the _ocean!_ " Sokka clarified. "Water doesn't kill ya."

"Unless it's freezing and full of orca-narwhals," Suki disagreed.

"Baaah, well, I'm not gonna force ya," Sokka conceded with a groan. "Hey, Toph, will you go cliff diving with me?"

"With you? I was...I was gonna go with Aang or Katara," Toph explained. "Like Suki said, I don't wanna die, thanks."

"Yea," Katara agreed carefully. "That's probably a good idea."

"Ohhh, come on, we gotta _live it up_ ," begged Sokka. Aw, he was being pathetic about it. Well, if he insisted...

"OK, OK, fine. But I'd feel better if Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen kept an eye on us while we do."

"Yea, that'd be fine," Aang agreed. "But we get to go first."

"Pff, doesn't matter to me," said Toph with nonchalance.

"Doesn't matter?" Sokka demanded. "Of course it does! You don't just... _let_ people take dibs on first like that! Have I taught you _nothing_?" Toph grinned, soaking up Sokka's attention like a sponge.

If Suki was going to be a stick in the snow and be all against joining in, hey, that was her choice. Toph was going to try and appreciate this wasteland as best she could with her new family.

* * *

"I don't get it," Sokka grumbled, passing back and forth. His _thum_ ing feet weren't the same as the _thip_ ing Toph was used to. "Suki's been acting strange since we got here. It's like she doesn't like it here or something!"

Toph slowly groaned, " _Wow,_ what is _not_ to love?" Sprawled across the ground of the igloo, her head leaning into Aang's lap, she huffed her hair from her face. "The empty fields of snow? The unbelievable cold that bites your fingers off? Having to struggle to find food every day? Yeeea. I don't get _why_ she doesn't want to just live here _forever_." Aang snickered at her dry humor.

"Hey, it can't be _that_ bad, I stayed here for decades!"

"Against your will, Twinkletoes." Toph clarified. "Little different." She shifted her weight around. Aang's bony lap was more comfy when they were both wearing puffy coats.

"Do you really think it's so horrible here?" Katara asked defensively.

"Never said anything was horrible," Toph calmly replied. "Just kinda hard to see the appeal, I guess." She remembered Iroh telling her how beautiful it was here, but she had yet to be proven that this was true.

"It may not be glamorous," Katara admitted. "But this is our home."

"Yea!" Sokka vehemently cried, as if it were common sense that everyone respect this place. "We grew up here. Our _dad_ is the Chief! Why would we want to live anywhere else?"

"Well," Katara slowly objected, clearly deciding her next words carefully. "I can understand why you want to stay here, Sokka, but...Some of us might want to live somewhere else."

"Whaaat?" he moaned miserably. "You mean I'm gonna be here, leading a village, without my sister to keep me in line?" Katara laughed in reply.

"You might be, Mr. _Man,_ " she teased. "It's not like I wouldn't visit!" she added in a high tone.

"I might not," Aang mocked with a chuckle. "Toph's right, it's cold around here."

"Abandoned by the ones I _trusted,_ " Sokka seethed in exaggeration. "Toph. Would you leave me, too? Get back into pro rock-wrestling or something?"  
Oh, crap. What do I say to that? _Would_ I stay? It's so miserable here...But the people are so kind. And I like him a lot...but would it be worth staying here? Forever?

"Uh, well...I dunno, Snoozles. Sorry. It's not exactly blind-earth-bender-friendly around here."

 _ULGH,_ there with the stomach again. She gasped and clutched at her abdomen. It calmed down and she sighed.

"You OK?" Aang asked timidly.

"I think so," she grumbled.

"Think it's something you ate?" Sokka wondered.

"Maybe."

"'Cuz I mean, if Katara cooked it, that could be it."

" _Hey!_ "

"I'm just saying..."

"I'm not a bad cook! There's not exactly much to work with around here!"

"You kiddin'? There's all kinds of stuff! Cooking's all about making the best with what you've got."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Aang's voice cut through the sibling bickering.

"I'm _fine,_ Twinkletoes," she growled, "Geez." She leaned up from his lap.  
You worry too much and you're always trying to help and maybe I don't want it! Ow, ow, stupid back is all sore again.

"-blubber can be made into all _kinds_ of-"

"OK, we _get it_ , Meathead!" Toph hissed. "Shut up, already!"  
You're dumb and stupid and...dumb. And Suki's not good for you.

"Toph?" Katara squeaked.  
Don't you even try to be all sweet with me, I know you don't think I'll be with your brother, but I'll show you.

" _What?_ " Toph snapped, fists clenched. Damned stomach, urgh. She pretended like nothing was wrong.

"What is wrong?" Katara asked firmly, stressing each syllable.

"I..." Pain was shooting through Toph's head with each heartbeat. "I don't know," she moaned. "I think I'm sick or something."

"Here, um, let's...-" Toph's tightened arm was clutched by Katara and she was tugged around.

"You're not my mom!" She thrust her arm around, trying to break free. She felt powerless - Katara was bigger and stronger than she was. With no earth to bend, wussy Sugar Queen didn't seem so wussy, even without any water.

"Toph," Katara grunted, her grip tightening. Toph fought harder, but couldn't break free, her gloved wrists contained. "Calm down, OK? You said you're feeling sick, I just...Rrr...I just want to help!"  
I don't need your help! I don't care. I want to punch you! I want to punch everyone! I want to throw a mountain on your face! Everyone's face!

Toph screamed in futility before groaning in defeat, her head overcome with pain. She lost her senses for a moment and was suddenly being supported by Katara.

"Whoa, heyyyy," Sokka worriedly called, patting her on the arm. "You better take it easy, Kiddo."

"What do you think's wrong, Katara?" Aang wondered. Toph grabbed her forehead, her palm rubbing along the paint marks left from their ceremony.

"Uh, well, I-I'm not sure yet but I should be able to help her, I just need some time. Would you guys mind...um...-?"

"Oh! Yea, no prob, Sis," Sokka agreed. "C'mon, Aang. Let's go...er...Hunt something."

"Y-yea, OK...Um, get better, Toph." _thum thum thum._

"Yea, Toph, get better!" _Thum Thum Thum._  
 _Fufflllfluff.  
_

"Whh...?"

"Here, lay down." Katara eased her to rest herself where she had slept the night prior, in the bed against the wall of what Toph had come to realize was a house made of ice. How such a place could be as cozy and...not freezing...while being made of snow defied all logic Toph had understood about cold weather.

"Toph," Katara firmly said as she tucked a wool blanket over Toph. "What happened with your stomach just now...has that been happening a lot lately?"

"Y-yea," Toph whimpered. Was she sick with something serious? Her moods seemed to be bouncing all over.

"And your back's been hurting?"

"Mm-hm."

"Headaches? Feeling tired? Trouble sleeping?"

"Actually...Yea," she replied. Katara seemed to have some kind of idea, didn't she?

"And you've been grouchy and mood-swinging, too," Katara observed. "Mm-hm," she hummed to herself. Suddenly, Toph felt a jolt come from her chest on the left side as Katara's hand applied a bit of pressure.

"Ah-" Toph grunted from the pain, her whole body tense.

"Yep," Katara said to herself.

"What is it?" Toph pathetically sniveled. Katara giggled.

"It's OK, Toph, you're fine. This is normal. The good news is...it's nothing serious. It happens to lots of people. The _bad_ news is that you're going to have to get used to it 'cuz it's going to happen on a regular basis..."


	18. I Always Do

"Feels like I'm wearing a diaper," Toph grumbled, fidgeting her hips around in an attempt to adjust. She found it hard to believe that she was leaking blood down there. That was pretty disgusting. And how in the hell was it _normal?_

"I'm sorry, Toph," Katara said plainly, "but you're going to have to deal with it like the rest of us."

"And this is gonna happen every _month?_ " she demanded, outraged by the idea.

"Pretty much," Katara told her matter-of-factly. Toph would've protested some more but her abdomen cramped up again. How could someone get used to this?

"That medicine should kick in soon and help with the pain," the raspy, rickety voice of the old woman that had been assiting them informed. She had a roughness to her - the kind of tough, leathery tone that Toph felt was bred by living in a place like this.

Katara had told Toph that 'Gran-Gran' was their grandmother who had recently gotten married to a waterbending master from the Northern Water Tribe. Toph had felt like this was Katara's way of saying 'See? Even at that age in life you can still find love,' but Toph definitely hoped that she wasn't going to be that old when she got married. When she had asked where Gran-Gran's husband had gone off to, Katara had explained that Gran-Gran had decided to stay with the Southern Water Tribe for a while longer to spend some time with Hakoda and the members of the tribe before she went to live up north. Her husband had his own responsibilities to attend to and had to go back without her, but the two vowed that they weren't going to wait very long to be together again. Toph had to admit it was very sweet that even at such an older age two people could express such a desire to be together, even from completely opposite sides of the world.

"OK," Toph whimpered, hand still clutching her stomach as she sat in the bed. It certainly hadn't kicked in yet.

"Thanks, Gran-Gran," Katara said.

"Yea, thanks," Toph threw in, so grouchy she'd forgotten to be grateful.

"You're quite welcome, my dear," assured the woman.

"So...you think this is why I've been feelin' funny lately?" Toph wondered, shame crawling across her mind as she recalled having a temper tantrum not long ago.

"Definitely," confirmed Katara. "Your body's growing and changing, and you've had a lot of stress on top of that. It's not good for you, and it's causing all of your mood swings."

"I didn't mean to yell and be a jerk before," Toph insisted.

"It's OK!" Katara chuckled, _fwffm,_ sitting beside her. "I know why you were acting that way. It's not like I've never...been a jerk to _you_ while it's been happening to _me_."

It suddenly dawned on Toph that maybe this sort of thing explained why, every now and again, Katara seemed to get highly irritable and snippy for no apparent reason. It spooked her to think of what it'd be like if this were happening to the two of them at the same time.

Toph could hear the distant sounds of a familiar boy roaring and growling triumphently, a girl giggling at him. That was Suki's stupid giggle. Toph rubbed her bracelet tenderly, her mind sailing back to days long past of traveling through the Fire Nation undercover without a girl distracting Sokka's attention, with earth beneath her feet and a mission to achieve.

"Sounds like those idiots are back," Katara observed with a playful sigh.

 _Fwuffleluff, thumnthumnthumn!  
_ Sokka's thundering voice boomed out a proclamation as he _bff-bff_ 'd at his chest.

"There will be _blubber jerky_ tonight!"

"Yea," Aang sighed with disapproval.

"Sounds great," Toph grumbled, her words drowned out by hooping and hollering.

"That was _amazing,_ Aang!" Sokka congratulated. "You're a natural!"

"Uhhh, y-yea, thanks," Aang quietly accepted his compliment, clearly not proud of himself.

"You shoulda _seen_ it, guys," Sokka excitedly proclaimed. "We were trying to-"

"Yea, that'd have been _great_ ," Toph snarled. "I'm sure it _looked_ awesome."

"Uh-w-well, it..." Sokka stumbled.  
That's right, feel guilty, Meathead.

Aang picked up the story in an effort to settle the awkward second of tension and likely to put himself in a better mood. Sokka made annotations to his story as he went, but Aang continued without stopping.

"So we were sneaking up on it, like _tweak tweak tweak_ and the boar-walrus heard us coming, so it was **_rrroooaaaarrr_** and Sokka was like _eeeee_ and so-"  
"I did _not_ scream like that."  
"-it was comin' at us like **bodom-bodom-bodom** and I said HEY WHAT DO WE DO and Sokka was all-" _chititititit_ "-and I was _so_ gonna water bend the ice, 'cuz it was crazy-"  
"Pretty sure I'd have been OK with you making things easier on us..."  
"-but I was like NO I DON'T WANNA HURT HIM and I _jumped_ on top of his back and grabbed onto his _tusks_ and it was **ROAAAARRR bodom-bodom-bodom** and I steered him away from Sokka and BOOOFF into a snowpile!"

Aang gasped, breathing heavily.

"Aaaand then Aang didn't wanna kill it so he had me do that part," Sokka finished.

"I was trying to _save_ it in the first place!"

"When I said 'let's go hunting' what part of that did you think _wouldn't_ involve an animal dying?"

"I-I wasn't thinking about that!" sheepishly admitted Aang. "I just...wanted something to do. Like... _Bro_ time. Or something. Male bonding? Bro-time?"

 _Slap. Scritchascratcha._  
"Ow, hey!"  
"Here's some male bonding for ya! Little brothers get noogies, get used to it."

"So...You guys hunted a boar-walrus?" Katara clarified. "And Aang _helped_?"

"Not on purpose," Aang muttered. "B-but they're gonna use _every part_ of him," Aang nervously certified. "Uh...right?"

"Every part!" Sokka affirmed. "Blubber, bones, and all."

"I'm shocked, Twinkletoes," Toph acknowledged. "Didn't think you'd ever kill an innocent creature..."

"I-I didn't _kill_ him!" Aang contended.

"Yea, hey!" Sokka objected. "Credit where it's due, huh?"

"Might as _well_ have," Toph dismissed, cocking her head to the side lazily.

"It's all right, Aang," Katara soothed. "There's a difference between killing and hunting. You _know_ that."

"Y-yea," Aang complied with hesitancy.

"C'mere," Katara welcomed. _Sopff._ He sat down between the two felt like they were hugging, the vibrations very close as they sat against the wall beside Toph. "It's _fine,_ Hun. There's nothing wrong with taking the life of a creature like that. My people need to eat to survive. Sacrifice is how nature works some times."

"I know," he pouted.

"Some times Nature's a jerk," Toph griped, fidgeting around, her abdomen uncomfortable.

"Did Gran-Gran help you feel better?" Sokka wondered, setting himself on the floor straight ahead.

"Yea," she sighed, arms crossed.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" Sokka curiously inquired.

"Nothing serious," Gran-Gran eased him. "She'll be fine. I gave her some medicine."

"Awesome! We need you feeling better so we can do crazy stuff like...cliff-diving, and-and _ice fishing_!"

"Ice fishing?"

"Yea! Remember how I was gonna taking you fishing? Well, why not do it in style?"

"What's...-?" Toph scratched her head, trying to figure this out. "What's ice fishing?" Toph had a frightening image of sitting on a chunk of ice in the middle of an icy ocean fishing for icy fish in icy waters. Or maybe just fishing for ice instead of icy fish.

"You stick a hole in some ice, you put a fishing pole in there, and ya fish!"

"Uhh...OK," Toph mumbled, any fears she had drained, along with any excitement.

"It'll be fun," Sokka assured, wobbling her by the arm. "It'll be good hang-out time, just us. We haven't had that in a while."

"O-Oh, OK, yea," Toph spluttered, her stomach churning with emptiness while another cramp creeped in, more tolerable than before.

"Speaking of, _we_ haven't done that in a while," Katara pointed out.

"We should!" Sokka agreed. "Spend some time in the old ice fields, maybe catch up with old friends..."

"Let's do it tonight," Katara proposed.

"I'm up for it."

"What should _we_ do?" Aang wondered.

"You guys can do whatever you want," Sokka replied. "Go race those seal-penguins, or...meet some of the village or something. Or find out what Suki's doing. I know she had plans to do something..."

"We'll figure something out, Twinkletoes," Toph encouraged, cutting out the possibility of time with Suki in her mind.

"Let's go cliff-diving right now, then!" Aang decided, still lively with the energy from his adventure with Sokka.

"Uh, w-well, I dunno, Aang, Toph's still feeling kind of sick, so...-"

"I'm fine, Katara," Toph insisted, rising to her feet. Her dizziness and stomach troubles seemed to have dissipated for the most part.

"OK," Katara winced, clearly uncertain about the entire ordeal.

"All right!" Aang cheered. "I'll go get Appa!" A gust of wind picked up as Aang's feet were no-doubt air-assisted out the door.  
 _Thummathummathummathumma-FWOHFF-thummathummathumma..._

"You sure you wanna do this, Toph?" Sokka probed. "I mean, you, uh...didn't really seem in the mood before."

"I said I'll _do_ it!" she contended with a huff.  
Damn, I'm not a freakin' baby...

"OK! OK!" Sokka conceded, his glove rubbing around her fur-trimmed hood. "Then let's do this!"

* * *

Just the four of them, like old times. The air wizzing by, the serenity of the skies, making jokes at each other's expense...not a care in the world. This freedom was what Toph had escaped from _them_ to find in the first place. She was getting antsy from the flight, however, and wanted the action to begin.

"So, like...not to be a downer, here, but...We _are_ diving from a cliff, right? I mean, this ain't bison-diving, is it?"

"The cliff is part of the fun," Aang advised. "We're almost there, just another couple minutes."

"So, I'm just wondering, here," Toph flatly threw out at them. " _How_ are we going to make sure we don't die?"

"Aang and I will go first," Katrara explained. "We'll give Sokka a sign when we're ready, and when you guys go we'll use bending to make sure you're OK."

"C'mon, Toph," Sokka encouraged, "You don't trust two of the best benders in the world here?"

"Yea, I _do_ have the whole 'Avatar' thing goin' on," Aang declared with mock arrogance.

"Yea-yea-yea," Toph spat. "OK, I'm sure it'll be fine. But if you guys mess up I'm gonna bury you when we get back to dry land. Literally."

"Guess we'll just have to _stay here, then_ ," Sokka proposed with exaggeration.  
Good luck getting that stupid ninja chick of yours to do that for ya, Meathead.

Reaching the cliff was forboding. It was a cliff entirely of ice, naturally. Being lifted from the familiar feeling of Appa's hefty, sturdy weight and placed on practically invisible edge of a fridgid cliff wasn't doing much for her trust. She groped around Sokka's body, unnerved by the environment. Every wave that crashed into the cliff was like a tap at her feet, the wind howled through her ears viciously, her only solace the flapping of fabric and the presence of her friends.

 _SSSSSsssshhhhh..._  
Ooooohhhhhhlllllll...  
Ffffffff-ffffffffff-ffffff...  
SSSSSsssshhhhh...

"I-I'm not s-so sure about this an-anymore," she shivered, pressing her layered body into Sokka's. It'd be, like, totally OK if you held me and made sure I didn't slip or fall. I'd be completely chill with that.

"It's all right!" Sokka empathetically calmed her. "I gotcha, Rocky." His arm pulled her in tight against his animal skin coat. She pushed her cheek into the clothing, its fuzzy texture inviting in this hostile wasteland.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Sokka offered through the bitter winds.

"Sokka's right, Toph," Katara complied. " _No one_ is making you do this, you don't have to if you're scared."

"N-not scared," Toph denied through chattering teeth. She felt like the shivering was more psychological, as she was _much_ warmer with these clothes than she had been when they had arrived here.

Sokka and Katara both chuckled at her pathetic attempt at being brave. Yea, OK, maybe a little scared, all right? Leave me alone. This is freaky.

"Toph, Sweetie," Katara professed, "No one is going to think any less of you. You're sick, you're in a place that's outside of your element..."

"Literally," Aang added, _Thok-thok, t_ apping that staff of his.

Toph's mind ignited with irritation. Oh, poor poor baby Toph, she's all blind and helpless and boo-hoo. Fuck that! She was fine, she could- _oh shit!_ Her left foot slipped on the slick ice as a gust of wind tipped her balance. Her teeth ground and her arms froze up, latching into Sokka like a leech.

"Whoa, hey, take it easy," he comforted, gripping her tight. "I gotcha, Toph."

Quite a conundrum. Look like a fool and a total wuss, or try to brave the unforgiving cliffside with no means of direction of sensibility and potentially _die._ Hm. OK, maybe not that hard of a decision, but it freaking sucked. But being held tight in the nipping winds wasn't so bad.

"I-I don't think I wanna go," Toph admitted meekly.  
Damnit, I never should've agreed to go to this. Should've known better.

"Hey, that's fine!" Sokka comforted.  
Stop treating me like a baby!

"Yea, maybe you should just stay here," Katara suggested.  
Why, because you think I can't handle it?

"We can try later when you're feeling better," Aang optimistically proposed.  
I don't _want_ to try again later!

"No, actually," she pushed herself from Sokka. "I'm just gonna do it now," she took a few cautious steps toward where Katara and Aang's voice had come from. "I'm not gonna wuss out just bec-" The weight of her right leg flopped over the edge, and her whole body flung along behind. She let out a brief scream before both of her extended arms were clutched. The air beneath her made her feel queasy as it gusted from below, and before she could realize what had happened, she was back in Sokka's grasp, panting in a panic.

"Yeeeea maybe we should just...chill for a bit here," Sokka carefully decided. "You guys go on and have fun, I'll keep an eye on her." _  
What?_ Oh, you're my babysitter now?

"Are you OK?" "You all right?" the other two quickly asked over top one another.

"Fine," Toph managed, her breathing sharp, her heartbeat quivering.

"You have to be careful, Toph," Katara scolded, clearly disappointed. "I know you're very strong and brave but out here you have to be _careful_ or you could get hurt...or worse."

Toph wanted to snap at her for telling her something she already knew - stupid Katara, telling her what to do like she was her mom. _  
Stop it,_ Toph. You're feeling sick, it's making you act stupid. This was a bad idea, you're only doing it because you're stubborn and don't want to look like a pansy. Now you look like a _big_ pansy _and_ you almost got hurt. Apologize.

"Mm," she hummed contemplatively. __  
Apologize.  
"I-I'm sorry, I'll stop."

"OK, then," Katara concluded the matter with a mit squeezing on Toph's shoulder.

"Let's go stay warm with Appa," said Sokka, his arms reaching around her body to scoop her from the ground. She let out a cry of surprise, still shaken from what had just happened, but his surprisingly strong arms quickly put her at ease.

"We'll be back in a few minutes," clarified Aang. A couple of seconds later, Katara let out a shriek of terror which faded away into a large splash. Unnaturally large for two people to make without bending.

 _"Rrrrroooouwwww?"_ Appa groaned impatiently.

"It's OK, Pal, we'll be headed out in a bit," grunted Sokka to the beast as he lifted Toph to the saddle's ridge. He gave her a push in the rear to boost her in, " _There_ ya go," before he _ssffffophem-pff_ 'd his way in. She immediately crawled to his side and slipped into his lap. The padding of their winter clothes made this seem less daring and awkward than it would have been otherwise, not to mention the freezing temperatures. Even with these warm clothes, Toph couldn't comprehend how the people here survived.

"It's so _cold,_ " she complained, pulling Sokka's arms around her. He complied with a tight, extended hold.

"Sorry, Toph," Sokka muttered, a hint of guilt about him. "I guess I didn't think that part through when I planned this trip, huh?"

"I _know,_ " Toph moaned jokingly. "Mr. Fancypants strategy man didn't count on the south pole being _really cold_?"

"W-well, it's prolly 'cuz I'm _used_ to it," he defended. "Besides, you're all...ya know, _tough_ and everything. Guess I just didn't consider the whole...ice...and no earth...and all that."  
Ahaaaa. You thought I was all big and bad and could take it, huh? I wish I could...This sucks. I'm not a wuss! But...

"I can't stand it here," Toph whined. "I can't tell where anything _is_ and it's freezing and _bleh."_

"Yea, OK, I _get_ it," Sokka huffed, shifting himself around. Toph leaned her hooded head into his chest and sighed.  
Sorry, Snoozles. It just sucks around here.  
"Nobody likes it here. OK! I'm done trying to convince everyone. But, ya know what? I'm supposed to be the _Chief_ some day. I'm not gonna walk away from that. There are people depending on me. It's my responsibility."  
Yuck. Responsibility. Who needs _that_? Why are you worrying so much about this stuff? You should be living it up, Meathead, while you're still young! But it _is_ kinda cool that you're so...determined about that stuff. I guess.

"I wasn't thinking about it like that," Toph disclosed, swallowing the guilt she had just put in Sokka's mouth moments before. "But...if we don't move here with you, doesn't that mean...-?"

"Yea," Sokka solemnly answered. "It means we wouldn't be able to see each other all the time..."  
Crap. That...would _not_ be awesome.

Toph roped her arms around his abdomen and crushed him for a moment as best she could.

"I don't want that," she whimpered.

"I don't either," he agreed. "I'd miss you guys a lot."

"I-W-we'd miss you, too!" she declared. "But...you'll have Suki, and all that...right?" She said it with a bit of disdain, hoping after the fact that he hadn't caught on.

"Not so sure about that part," said Sokka with a deep, longing breath, his chest bulging out and shrinking down.  
Are you _serious?_ For real? She might be leaving him?

"Oh?" Toph said simply, containing her new-found hope.

"Yea, she...-" _Mufflefuff._ He was rubbing his glove into his face. "She's not so sure she wants to live here with me," his voice was muffled until he dropped his glove around her back again. "Like, she's still a Kyoshi warrior, and she'd have to give that up to be with me, ya know? And...Ech."  
Poor Snoozles. Makeup Ninja's breaking his heart. _I'd_ stay here with you! Maybe we could convince Aang and Katara to stay for a while, at least, and...Yea, it'd be just the four of us again, like old times! Everything would be perfect...  
Except that you'd be _useless_ here, with nothing to bend, unable to tell where anything _is._ Would you really be able to help Sokka, or would you just be a burden? Be honest with yourself. _  
_

"Sorry, Sokka," Toph mumbled with sheepish sorrow. She sniffled, then nuzzled her face into his coat, warming her numbed nose.

"Hey, not your problem. We don't always get everything we want so easily, right?"

_The Universe is out to get us.  
Destiny always gets what it wants, doesn't it?_

"Yea."

"I'll be fine, Toph. I'll figure something out." The pressure of his hand against the back of her head was comforting but melancholic at once. "I always do."

"I wish I could figure stuff out like you can," Toph lamented, continuing to rub her dripping nose against him before leaning her cheek into his chest again and listening. _Ta-Thump. Ta-Thump._ It didn't feel right. He definitely wasn't feeling well.

"Hey, I'm the brains, you're just the brawn," Sokka observed with a laugh.

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"Oho, a little quicker on the uptake than I thought!"

Toph grinned in spite of his insult. She punched him in the arm ("Ow! I deserved that.") before reabsorbing her face into his pectoral. She savored his warm breath's mist settling onto her forehead with each exhalation he took, easing her head gently.

" _Mmmmmmrrrrrooooooggghhh..._ "

"I know, Pal, I know...Where are those two idiots at?"

"Yea, didn't diving usually, like...end pretty quick? Like, when you hit the bottom?"

"Ya know, that's exactly what _I_ was thinking."

"Meh, it's OK. This is fine."

"Riiiight. Because pneumonia goes _real_ well with being sick."

"That's why you have to keep me _warm,_ Meathead."

"I'm just one guy." Sokka tucked Toph's hood more tightly around her head. "I can only do so much here." Toph sighed out a shaky breath as her spine tingled.

That's good enough for me, Sokka.


	19. Complicated

"He can certainly be a hassle sometimes."

She scraped the whetstone against her dagger with care, savoring the friction. The man beside her was working on sharpening a longsword, clearly battle-worn. Aang's tiny lemur-bat watched from across the room, his ears twitching with each scratch of stone on steel.

"He learns from the best, my Dear."

"Did you teach him how to be such a stubborn know-it-all?" she teased.

"Haha, no, I think he got a bit of that from his mother..."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Suki. Don't be sorry. She died protecting her children." Hakoda stopped his sharpening and contemplated the situation with a warming respect. "After everything that's happened and all my kids have done to help bring peace to this world...I can't help but wonder if she somehow knew just how important it was to protect them. I couldn't have asked for a better woman to be graced by. Her time with us may have been shorter than I'd have liked, but..." He went back to scraping at his scratched up sword. "She gave me enough fond memories to last a lifetime, and two of the greatest children a father could hope for."

He paused again and slapped Suki on the shoulder.

"And a handful of extra kids, too, eh?"

Suki absorbed his affection slamming, her doubts surfacing from the back of her mind.

"Yea," she shakily murmured, her hands beginning to tremble. She set her tools down, fidgeting her position around to get more comfortable.

"And you're still figuring out if you're one of them, hm?" He smiled, his eyes still intent on his task.

"I love Sokka," Suki confessed simply. "But we come from different worlds. I just don't know if I'd be willing to give up the one I have for him..."

"It's definitely a hard decision to make," mused the man with dreadlocks falling across the sides of his head. "You just need time. Don't rush a choice like this, Suki. If you truly love each other, you'll both find a way to work things out. Everyone who deeply loves another always does."

"I guess I just...never really _thought_ about it until now," Suki admitted dully. "I know it doesn't make any sense, but things were so much easier when we had a war to worry about."

"You're a _warrior_ , Suki. As am I. It makes perfect sense to me."

"I don't know." She picked up the spear Sokka had recently used that day during his hunt and began to work on its tip. "I've always had a battle to worry about, an enemy to fight. And now, I...I don't."

"You grew up in a time of war - you hardened yourself and fought while others ignored it and hid." He reached to his left and grabbed a piece of toughened meat from a pewter bowl. Momo scampered over in an instant, chittering pleadingly. "Haha, help yourself," Hakoda said to him, tossing a piece of the darkened meat his way. He snatched it and lovingly carried it back to his perch on the large pot hanging outside.

"Jerky?" Hakoda offered, extending a piece to her. She shook her head and smiled, watching as he tore his jaws into it. He finished his thought, chewing meat in his cheek. "But the leshen ya haff to learn-" He swallowed. "-is that all warrior paths lead to one of two ends: you choose to conclude your duties and live the life of a citizen, or you eventually fall to the hands of an enemy."

Suki sighed deeply as she took in his words.

"I believe my son is prepared for the prior. But what about you, Suki?" His tired, battle weary eyes burned into her mind.

"I suppose I need to find out," she affirmed, rubbing her finger gently along the edge of the spear to detect its sharpness.

* * *

" _Aang_ decided that diving off the cliff wasn't good enough, so we'd dive in the ocean for a bit. And then the clouds."

"Aw, c'mon, it was, like, all romantic and stuff. Wasn't it?" Aang squeaked the last phrase. Katara giggled and _swoffskuffpff_ attacked him with a hug.

"It was terrifying," Katara merrily corrected. "But it was very sweet." _Smitch._

As they squeezed, Toph, who had wormed her arm around Sokka's at some point upon their return under some guise of being 'cold still,' clenched at his wrist with her free arm, the thick padding of their clothes continuing to dissuade any overly nervous intimacy from occurring. Sokka tapped her hand before pulling his arm away. She could feel air touch her bangs from his arm jutting upwards.

"Oh, _well,_ " Sokka indignantly cried. "It's nice to know Toph and Appa and me were left in the cold while you two had a playdate." He quietly muttered, "Next time, Aang, ya gotta do it at night time when the _moon's_ out, she'll go _gaga_ over it." _Bff._

"Hey!" Katara shouted after she pounded her glove into his coat. Her words were sprinkled with embarrassment. "You can't go telling him all that stuff, he has to figure it out on his own!"

"Yea, Snoozles," Toph put in hands on her hips. "Us girls are supposed to be all...mysterious and junk. You have to figure us out." There was an awkward silence. A small gust of wind prickled Toph's face, but at least it wasn't snowing.

"Hey, it's OK, Sokka," Aang assured. Was there a problem?

"Yea," Sokka mumbled in humility.

"Aw, Sokka," Katara sympathetically cooed. "Don't be like that. This is what she'd want."

"Uhhh," Toph cut in. "What's wrong?"

"...Mffrnumble ** _moon_** grmblhf..." Moon? What about the moon? Who was 'she'? Their mother or something?

"I know!" Katara chimed, clearly struggling to save the sinking ship that was Sokka's mood. "Let's go find Dad and get started on dinner! There's plenty of meat to cook, right?" Sokka miserably howled something unintelligible in reply.

"Yea, Sokka," Toph joined in. "Meat fixes _everything,_ doesn't it?"

_Cronsh Cronsh Cronsh  
cronsh-cronsh-cronsh_

"It does when _I_ cook it!" Hakoda's voice proclaimed from behind them.

"Dad!" Sokka called, as if raw enthusiasm had been shot into his jugular. _Caronsh-caronsh-caronsh-bphsss-whack-pat-paff._

"A good haul you pulled in today!" Hakoda complimented as he approached them.

"How did you take down that guy by yourself?" Suki wondered.

"Aheh. Wh-well, I...kinda had some help from our newest _Water Tribe Man!_ "

"Aha! So Aang, my boy," Hakoda excitedly _poff_ 'd his glove on the boy's head. "You helped provide my people with a hearty meal tonight, eh?"

"Y-yes, Sir," Aang accepted his words with a hint of chagrin.

"You have my gratitude," Hakoda solemnly thanked. "They haven't had a healthy meal like this in weeks. I'm afraid my time in the Boiling Rock has reminded me that I may be a little worse for wear than I'd like." _Booff._ "I'm proud of you. I know how you feel about hunting, but we are grateful."

_Bend the rules for your family._

Aang seemed speechless at the glowing respect he had just been showered with, having no reply. Hakoda laughed as he heard Sokka's tale of the beast's capture, which seemed to leave out the parts with him screaming like a girl.

"See?" Katara said softly to Aang. "It's OK. I know the Monks might not approve but this is a different tribe of people who have to survive in their own way."  
Yea. Besides, look how well all that 'no violence' stuff worked out for those guys, right?

" _Kkkrreeeet-t-t._ " _Tff._

"Yea," Aang sighed. "Guess that's true." _Slrip._ "Hey, Momo. Glad to see you, too, Buddy. Staying warm?"

"Hey, come to think of it," Toph prodded, scratching her chin. "Where'd Hawky go?"

"OMISPIRITS _Hawky_ ," Sokka mourned. "Dad, I _wish_ you coulda met Hawky. He was just _not_ up for the commute out here."

"Hawky?" Hakoda murmured, confused. Katara answered Toph's question as Sokka rambled about the bird's 'greatness.'

"Hawky's not exactly well suited for cold weather and Sokka was worried about him, so he sent him to deliver a letter to Zuko while we were gone." Toph _pfff_ 'd out a laugh.

"What?" Katara asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, that oughtta keep him busy for a while if he tries going to the Fire Kingdom," she said, holding back another laugh.

"Wait, why wouldn't Zuko be in the Fire Nation?" Aang inquired.

"When I went to the Jasmine Dragon the other day, Zuko was there - in disguise. He said he wanted to spend time with his uncle before he started all his leader-type stuff."

"Aw," Katara cheeped. "That's sweet."

" _Wait!_ " Aang cried out accusingly. He jabbed his mitted fingers into Toph's chest. _Oowwww._ Fricker. Still a bit tender there, you idiot...

"Your boyfriend at the Jasmine Dragon...it's not _Zuko_ is it?" he gasped.

Katara and Toph burst into a gigglefit.

"Wh...-? I guess not, then?"

"No, Aang," Katara squealed with a sigh, gasping for breath. "You need to stop trying so hard, Hun. Besides, Zuko already has a girlfriend."

"He _does?_ "

"Yea, that's what _I_ thought, too," Toph chuckled. "Her name is Mai. Remember? We met her."

"Waaaait, that girl with the knives, right?"

As Katara went on to explain that, yes, it was that same girl, and yes, she had attacked them, etc. etc., Toph's ears found themselves wandering to Sokka and Suki as they waved off Hakoda who _Cronsh_ ed off to start dinner preparations.

"So."

"Sooo..."

"I sharpened your spear for you." _Tok._

"Oh. That's, uh...Thanks." _Sssst, ssst._

"Yea, no problem."

"My Dad didn't give you too much trouble, did he?"

"Oh, no, no. He's been very nice."

"Probably tossed some heavy lesson at ya?"

"Heehee. Actually, yea."

"Yup."

"Is that what you're going to do with _your_ kids some day?"

"Eh, well... _Yea._ Probably! I'll also teach 'em _not_ to whack giant glowing orbs of ice and free century-old demigods from slumber. Those things are a pain to keep track of, ya know?" Suki giggled and _pafomf_ gave him a hug. "They eat right off the table and they never obey you!"

"Are you hearing this, Aang?" Suki incredulously called.

"-could _ever_ -Huh?"

"Meathead was just comparing you to a newt-dog," Toph flatly explained, bitter rage steaming from her nostrils.

"Actually," Sokka clarified, "I'd say more like a monkey-dog."

" _What?_ Those don't even exist!" Aang protested.

"Ahhh, _but do they?_ " Sokka suspiciously objected. There was a pause.

"Katara, do those...-?"

"I don't know," Katara replied, baffled but humored. "I _think_ so?"

"The world's just _full_ of possibilities!" Sokka taunted.

"I don't think those exist," Aang decided.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure they _do,_ " Toph muttered, recalling some of the pets the rich families she once knew owned.

"I'm lookin' at one right _now!_ " Sokka decided.

"He's just _asking_ for trouble, Aang," Katara mischievously observed. "Let's give it to him." The ground shook and slid a bit, and Toph could feel it being twisted around where Sokka's voice was coming from as he shrieked and Suki laughed.

_**Bbbbrrbrbrbrbrbrmmmmmbmbmbm.** _

_Supoof!_ "Peh! Feh! Poo-ee!"

What the hell had just happened? Did they bury Sokka in snow?

"Look, Aang," Katara mocked. "It's a...Snow... **Man** ," her joke awkwardly crashed apart. "The world is _full_ of possibilities."

"If you're going to counter my own joke at me, you need to make it worthwhile," Sokka wailed.

In that moment, Toph found herself somehow more OK with the idea of staying here with them. Suki could go run away to her stupid Magic Makeup Brigade. This could work, at least for a while.

* * *

"Man." Sokka sucked in a deep breath, surveying the landscape, setting his unlit lantern down. "It's been a while." Katara peeked over the crest, observing the oddly unfamiliar sight of a crowd of penguin-seals wandering around in the distance. She had seen it many times, but right then it seemed so alien to her.

"It has," she concurred.

"Ya know, Sis, I kinda _miss_ this."

"What?"

"You and me, just...I dunno, looking out for each other, not a care in the world but what we're gonna eat next."

"Haha. Just the simple life, huh?"

" _Yea!_ " he thrust his palms up.

"You keep missing that, Sokka," she dubiously pat him on the shoulder. "I think I'm a lot happier with how everything turned out."

"No, I didn't mean-...I'm really happy, too," he protested. "I just wish everything wasn't so _complicated_." That last word was a pathetic whimper that tugged at Katara's stomach.

"I know," Katara quietly acknowledged, her heart aching from the frustration in his eyes.  
You're not the only one, Brother.

Her mind was torn, guilt clutching at her skull. She had helped bring an end to decades of tyrannic rule, helped a troubled man claim the throne, and was even wondering if she was falling in love with an omnipotent being trapped in an adorable body who was completely smitten with her. She had finally found her way through the fortress of an earthbender's heart and discovered a unique and rewarding sisterhood. Her father was safe, sound, and just as spry as ever. Life was going pretty well for her.

Her brother was struggling with his duty and obligation to _their_ people, people she had left. People she'd be abandoning if she chose to live anywhere else. But how could she stay here? He was grasping onto his ties to their group, not even sure if the girl who had helped ease his grief and sprout new love would stay with him. And on the sidelines stood her little sister, heartbroken and lost from years of being trapped in a cage, her mind and body being ravaged by the process of growing into a young woman. All the poor girl could do was stand and watch and wait, desperately grabbing at anything that gave her joy that wasn't a battle. At least Katara could find solace in the idea that she, herself, had grown into one of those things - that this family they had made would hold that girl's broken bones together so they would grow, mending into something as strong as what Katara could see through those pale, milky eyes.

"Sokka...I think you and Suki should take things easy for a while."

"Huh?"

"It'd be best if you two worked out what you're going to do and hold off on...certain...things."

"Hummana-wha?"

"It's just...I don't think it's a good _idea_ to be...doing that. Right now. Eh-Especially if you don't even know if you'll-"

"Katara?" Sokka patted his hands onto her shoulder. "What is _'that'_ that we're talking about here?"  
He really has no idea?

"Umm..." She tore her gaze from his confused face as her mind screeched to a halt, fighting hard to keep any images of his brother and Suki doing what Toph had described out of her head. "You and Suki need to _stop...being..._ " She flailed her arms around awkwardly. "So physical!"

"What?"

"Toph told me what you guys were doing that first night she slept in our tent. She said she's been losing sleep because of the ruckus you guys make!" Sokka's face went as red as a babboon-weasel's bottom.

"T-Toph told you... _what_ now?"

Katara exploded into a long-winded rant, her eyes fierce and disappointed.

"Uhhhh, _yea,_ Toph sees things through the _ground,_ remember? Through vibrations? And she said that _you two_ were making a _lot_ of vibrations that night. I think you _scarred_ her or something! She's too young for that! Y- _you're_ too young for that! You should know better! I can't _believe_ you'd do that!" Her fists were balled, her stance leaned into him with threat, and her teeth were tightly clenched.

"Whoa, OK, _hey now,_ " Sokka snapped, his hands pressing into her chest and easing her away. _  
Did you really just-?_

 _"Excuse you!"_ she trilled.

"Get them outta my face, then!" Sokka growled.

"I'm wearing a _coat!_ "

"They keep getting bigger. It weirds me out."

"You are _so **juvenile!**_ "

"I'm _trying_ to get you to calm down!"

" _Calm down?_ How is doing _that_ supposed to-?"

"Humor is the best medicine when you've got the Grouchies."  
Oh-my-Spirits. Are you serious? I haven't used that word in _years,_ you goofball.

" **I do not have the Grouchies!** "

"You _totally_ have the Grouchies."

"You're just trying to change the subject!"

"I'm trying to get you to calm down!"

" **I AM CALM!** "

 _"Grouchies."_  
WHY do you have to be so _infuriating?_

Katara flung her arm up, calling up a tentacle of snow. Snow was hard to bend when it was more than just a ball. At least, this snow was. It didn't flow, it was chunky and heavy. But Katara had a firm grasp of waterbending by now and it wasn't a struggle for her, especially while she was riled up.

"Oh, great!" Sokka growled. "Yea, smash me in the **face** _ **,**_ that'll _really_ show how calm you are."  
YOU. STUPID. HATE. RRR. Deep breath, girl.

She dropped the snow behind her, and Sokka smirked.

"So. We get that all outta your system? Ready to talk like _big people_ now?"

"You're so annoying," she grumbled.  
But he's right, I shouldn't be flying off the handle like that.

"I'm also _right_."  
Ugh.

"OK, all right, I'm sorry for blowing up like that."

"I'm sorry I had to resort to extreme measures of-"

"I get it!" She shoved him in the arm, cutting him off. She sighed, maintaining her calm. "Now...explain."

"OK, then!" Sokka picked up the yet-to-be-used lantern and began hiking down the hill of snow. Katara followed beside him. "First of all, I don't know what _Toph_ told you happened, but...We did not...do...-"

"Sex," Katara winced, forcing herself to be the bigger person and just _say_ the damned word.

"Right," Sokka acknowledged. "We didn't do that."

"Then what _did_ you do?" she demanded with a freezingly calm tone.

"W-well, it's...not really your _business,_ but we did...do...things that are...close?"

"Mmkay," Katara impatiently conceded.

"So. Ya know. That's...probably why it _seemed like_...-"

"And Toph wouldn't know the difference," Katara derived. "But I don't think you should even be doing anything _like_ that!"

"Katara, I love you, but guess what?" Sokka flared, his eyes flashing. "I know this is hard to accept, but me? I'm nearly sixteen. I'll be old enough to get married. You? And Aang? That's great. You still got plenty of time. Take it easy. But in _grown-up_ land people do things that might make _you_ feel uncomfortable." He huffed, rubbing his hand across his face tiredly, maintaining his pace. "And for your information, Dad thinks I'm old enough, _thank you_."  
He does? You talked with him about that?

"But you're right," Sokka inferred. "I'm not going to go taking risks like that before all of my parrot-ducks are in a row. Suki and I? I don't even know what's going to happen. That's our problem. You want to help? That's great, I'm glad you're there. But you berating me for making decisions I'm _entitled_ to make? That's not cool, Sis. You and Aang can be all proper and everything. Power to ya. Ideals? It's nice to want things. I just hope you don't both _ideal_ each other apart."

How could he say something like that? Did he really think that? Maybe this was just the stress talking. That had to be a part of it.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Katara fiercely questioned, crossing her arms and sticking out her lower lip as they marched through the snow.

"Both you and Aang never let things go the way they're gonna go - you're both always trying to fix things. And that's a great thing, Sis, it really is. I admire that about you guys. But not everything can be fixed, and nothing's perfect. If you two try to have some...perfect relationship, it's never going to work out." He did seem to have a point, given their personalities, she had to admit that. Well, not out _loud_.

"At least we know that we're going to live in the same place," she countered.

"At least I know where I'm actually _going to live,_ " Sokka spun her words around.

"That's just _fantastic_ that you already have your whole life planned out, then," Katara grumbled, tossing her arms up.

"Like I have a choice!"

"You _always_ have a choice."

"I choose not to abandon our people."

"Are you saying that I _am_?"

"N-no...I don't mean it like that, it's...-"

"You just think it."

"I didn't say that!"

"You don't have to."

"Katara, _listen_." He pushed a groan through grit teeth. "This is my duty. It's what I've been raised to do. But not you. You're not abandoning anyone because it's never been your responsibility."

"This doesn't _have_ to be your duty, Sokka! Dad can always find-"

"Dad shouldn't _have_ to find someone else! That someone else is me."  
Why do you have to be so stubborn?

Katara's footsteps rolled to a stop, and Sokka stopped as well.

"I don't want to leave you," Katara whispered, rubbing her temple in frustration. "We've _always_ had each other's backs...I don't want to lose that." She sighed, moving her hand to her forehead, warming it with her glove. "But, I can't stay here, Sokka. I-"

"I know, Sis," Sokka assured with melancholic understanding. He dropped his lantern again and came close, grabbing her free hand. "I have our people to look after. And you have our _family_ to look after. I'm counting on you to take care of Aang and Toph."  
That's true, but there has to be something we could do...

"Maybe we can find a way to...-?"

"You're all benders, Katara. There is so much _good_ the three of you could do for the world out there. I'm just a man with a boomerang. I didn't ask for any of this..." He chuckled to himself, then pulled his sister into a long embrace. She planted her head on his shoulder and crushed him back tightly. "It's not like it's gonna be hard for you guys to come visit. Being the Avatar kind of has its perks. Like owning a flying bison."

"Yea," Katara conceded with relief. "You're right. And it's not like you're staying here right now and are going to be running things tomorrow. We still have plenty of time, right?"

"Totally."

"I just don't know what I'm going to do without you, Brother." She grabbed the back of his head and rubbed it a couple of times.

"Same here, Sis." He pressed the back of her skull through her thick mess of hair. "But I'll figure something out. I always do."

"You always _do_."

"Whatever happens, Katara, just don't go thinking I'm not proud of you. I love you - you're the best sister a guy could have."

"I love you, too, Sokka." Their hug was loosened and they exchanged glances, eyes glowing with admiration and appreciation.

"...So, uh...Am I the best _brother_ -"

"Hey, let's not push our luck, here," Katara teased with a wide grin.

* * *

"It's really no problem at all, child," the woman insisted politely. "My daughter grew out of those clothes months ago, and we've been holding onto them for when someone needed them. I'm glad we could help you enjoy your stay here."

"Yea," said Toph plainly, unsure if 'enjoy' was quite the word she would use for this entire experience.

"It looks good on you!" piped the girl who had once owned these clothes.

"Er, thanks," Toph mumbled back. That was probably good?

"Ohh, and your _eyes_ , they're so pretty!" she chimed. Toph's head dipped a bit, frustrated in trying to comprehend what that truly meant.

"Yea, well...I get that," Toph grunted with a huff, gripping her hips impatiently.

"Aren't they?" Aang agreed.

"How come they're like that?" the girl asked intently.

"I was born with them," Toph quickly explained, hoping that if they didn't know of her condition, she'd be spared their pity.

"Cooool," she murmured. "Well, it was nice to meet you guys, but I've got some chores to take care of, so...maybe I'll see you later?"

"Maybe," Toph replied with a shrug, disinterested in the prospect.

After they left the home, Toph was jarred by Suki's voice. The boots and snow made it nigh impossible to specifically pick out who a person was.

"Hey, guys."

"Oh, hey, Suki," Aang greeted. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you guys wanted to join me - I'm going to do some bone carving with the bones we got today from the boar-walrus that Aang and Sokka caught."

"Nnnno thanks," Aang declined politely. "I was thinking of racing the penguin-seals, actually. But later, I could!"

"Y-yea, I was gonna go, too," Toph declared, having had no knowledge of this idea of his previously.  
Please don't leave me with her, Twinkletoes!

"Uhhhh, I'm not so sure that's a good idea," Aang objected, plagued with doubt. "You seemed pretty shaken up back there, and you're sick, and...-"  
Suki doesn't need to know any of that! Shut up.

"Are you not feeling well, Toph?" Suki asked with that 'poor baby' tone Toph despised.  
 _Ugh,_ see, Aang? I don't need this.

"It's been a long day," Toph mumbled bitterly, crossing her arms over her waist.

"Stay here with Suki," Aang advised. "When was the last time you two had some girl time?"  
Uh, _never?_ It's not _exactly_ what I need right now, either.

"Yea!" Suki chirped, patting Toph's shoulder and nudging her along, away from Aang. "Let's go have some fun!"


	20. It's Me

_Scritch-skitch-scatch-clatch-scritch..._

Thick hood drawn over her head, Toph listened to the sounds of Suki's carving with great impatience. She was hunched on the opposite side of the small tent, chin resting on her tucked knees, her hands clasped around her legs. The pain in her back was returning and ever so often her abdomen would ache a bit. She let out a drawn out sigh.

"Still not feeling so great, huh?" Suki observed. "Are you sure you don't want to come do this with me?"

"Something about a sick blind girl trying to carve something with a knife _doesn't_ sound like a good idea," Toph explained.

"You don't have to use one of my knives, Toph," Suki pointed out. "You could use earthbending to make your _own_ knife." What the hell are you talking...-?

Toph suddenly remembered her space-bracelet, which was tucked around her upper left arm, hidden away under her thick coat. Toph willed the bracelet to slide down her arm like a snake and coil itself out of her sleeve and into her gloved hand.

"Right!" Suki chirped in encouragement. "Having an excuse to earthbend can remind you of home a bit, don't you think?" Home? What _is_ home anymore?

"What are you making?" Toph wondered, her mind playing around with the idea of participating.

"I'm making a necklace with the bones from today's hunt," Suki explained. "I'm making it for Aang so he can always remember the day he became a member of the Water Tribe."

"Uhhh, yea, I'm sure he's just gonna _love_ wearing pieces of a dead animal on his neck," Toph dismissed Suki's attempts at being sentimental.

"If he always has a piece of that animal with him it will remind him that even in death, life carries on," Suki mused. Toph shrugged and sighed grumpily.

"That doesn't make any sense," she grumbled. Suki chuckled at Toph's negativity and clarified.

"Sure it does: that boar-walrus died, but because it died, the people in this village will have a healthy meal tonight and will all keep living. And these bones? They will continue to exist as tools to aid the people, or as this necklace to help symbolize Aang's connection to them."  
Blablabla, circle of life mumbo jumbo. Whatever.

"Don't you think there's something kind of beautiful about that?" Suki pondered, going back to her whittling. _Scritch-skitch-scatch-clatch-scritch..._

Toph had no reply, idly rubbing her fingers around her space stone, molding it like a chunk of clay. She didn't care much for waxing philosophy right then.

"You sure you don't want to carve some bone here with me?"

"Not in the mood."  
Leave me alone. I don't care about any of this junk. And what the hell made you think cutting bones would be fun for the _blind girl?_

"You sure you don't want to do any earthbending, at least? I'd figure you kind of miss it."  
Of course I miss it, but what good is playing with a rock going to do?

Toph's own cynicism was smacked upside the face by her logic as it pointed out how she was earthbending right then and there, playing with her strange rock, and it was proving to be very therapeutic.  
She has a good point, this feels nice, doesn't it?  
Fine, then. Stupid logic. You win.

"I guess," Toph admitted, the words struggling their way through her bitter lips. Her bracelet wound its way around her arm as she pulled her gloves off and irritably tossed them beside her. She flicked the rock back into her now bare palm and pinched her finger into the stone, creased it out, and turned it into a blade. She twirled it through the air with her finger tip, the sensation somewhat intoxicating after a few days with nary any bending. She grabbed a chunk of split bone, sliding her fingers across its rough surface. Holding it up between her right index and thumb, she twitched her left pointer, slicing her space-earth blade to remove a chip from the bone's corner with precision - _skiff_. The sensation of the bone being rattled by the impact was satisfying between her fingers. Toph hated to admit it - and she sure as hell wasn't going to out loud - but maybe Suki had been right. This was oddly relaxing.

"That's so amazing," Suki complimented, continuing her _skitching._ "I can't even imagine what it's like to be able to bend."

"I can't even imagine what it's like to be able to _see,_ " Toph remarked coldly, continuing to dice at her hunk of bone without missing a beat. There was a pause in Suki's actions and Toph savored the awkward moment as she worked on her own bone creation.

"So, you're in the same position I'm in," Suki declared calmly.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Toph demanded in a grumble, whittling away.

"You don't know what to do with yourself," Suki noted, picking up her task, as well. "You have no parents to rebel against, no musclemen to rock wrestle, no Fire Lord to vanquish..." Toph slowed down to a stop at Suki's words. "No one left to fight. No one left to prove yourself to. So now you're confused and you don't know what to do with all of your anger and pride. I know what it's like, Toph. But you're taking it all out on everyone you don't trust." There was a hint of frustration in her tone, and Toph seriously contemplated the hypothesis for a moment. "Clearly, you don't trust _me_ ," Suki concluded with some bitterness, scratching away at a new bone chunk. "We've traveled together for weeks, I've saved your _life_..." A fierce _skatch._ " _Twice_ ," she mumbled, seemingly to herself. "Katara keeps telling me this is just how you are - that you push people away from yourself, that it takes time to earn your trust. I understand, but seriously: what do I have to _do_ here, Toph? What do you _want_ from me?"

Silence. Neither was shaving bone any more, neither said a word, neither moved a muscle. Confronting this idea was causing Toph's stomach to feel queasy, her back to tense up, and her hands to tremble.

 _I've saved your life. **Twice.  
**_ Ouch. There goes a hunk of my ego ripped out of my chest. What _do_ I want from her? What could she do to make me stop being mad? She could give up on him and let me have him.  
But why would she do that? _You_ obviously wouldn't.  
That's why she's my rival. One of us has to win. One of us has to lose.  
Are you really so sure about that?

"I don't want _any_ thing from you," Toph answered at last with a tart bite in her tone. _Skiff._ She made another clean slice, chipping away a large, unneeded chip of bone from her project.

"Then what do I have to do to get you to trust me?" Suki wondered. Her voice cracked ever so slightly. That tint of desperation and frustration was like a needle that pierced through a crack in Toph's shell. Suki was actually upset. Toph was hurting her by acting this way. She struggled to hide her guilt, pressing on with her work.

"Why do you care what _I_ think so much?" Toph demanded impatiently. She placed her rounded out chunk of bone on the tent floor and drummed her fingers beside it to feel its weight and shape. She stabbed through it with her bending blade repeatedly, cutting a hole through it.

"Toph," Suki sighed, "If I'm going to be a part of this family, that makes us like sisters."  
Fuck you, we're not sisters. _Katara_ is my sister.  
"Why _wouldn't_ I care about what you think?"  
You obviously don't care about what I _feel._

"I already _have_ a sister."

"There's not any room for one more?"

"I'm not sure yet."

Suki huffed, clearly frazzled, and hastily spat out, "Did I do something that upset you, Toph?"

Toph couldn't tell if the pain in her abdomen was another cramp or the fear of confronting the situation.

 **Well?** Did she do something wrong?  
Of course she did! She took him away from me before I realized how much I cared.  
So you're blaming _her_ for having the courage to do what _you're_ too cowardly to do?  
No, of course not!  
Then what are you blaming her for?  
For ruining our Fearsome Foursome, for turning _him_ into a blubbering lovebird who forgets about me.  
For saving your life? For saving _his_ life when he was protecting _you?_ For saving Appa when _you_ let him get captured?  
Appa wasn't my fault! I couldn't do anything!  
But you still felt horribly guilty about it. It ate away at you. And it wasn't your fault.  
Well, yea, Aang's my friend, I felt horrible...  
It's not Suki's fault that she has feelings for Sokka. Aang realized that losing Appa wasn't _your_ fault.  
 _Fine,_ I get it. I don't really have a good reason. I'm supposed to, like, not get mad at her. Whatever.

"Well?" Suki insisted, her patience thinned out by Toph's cold shoulder.

"No," Toph snapped, slapping her fists in her lap in a pout. "OK?"

"If I didn't do anything, then what's your problem?" She's totally not gonna let this shit go, is she?

"Nothing! _Geez!_ " Toph chucked her hands into the air.  
Why do we have to talk about this right now? What the hell does it matter to you?

"The longer you keep lying, the worse it's going to be for us both," Suki warned. "If you don't let me fix whatever I did wrong, what am I supposed to do?"  
 _Urgh,_ you can't fix it, it's nothing you did wrong, it's _me! **It's me.**_  
Right. _ **It's you.**_ What will you do about it? _ **  
**_

Toph's head throbbed in frustration as it grappled with this conclusion. Weeks ago she wouldn't have even seriously considered this idea, but her friends had been worming this their way into her well-fortified defenses to awaken that which she had been ignoring for so long: a conscience, or something.

"You didn't...-" Toph began, trailing off. No! Don't say it! Don't give in to her. _  
Why_ are you so against admitting when you're wrong?  
It makes me look weak!  
I hate to tell you this, but right now? You _are_ weak.  
No, I'm not! _  
Yea,_ Toph, let's just keep trying to tell ourselves that, because look how well _that's_ been going? Or do you need to randomly burst into tears again before you realize it?

"What?" Suki asked, hanging on Toph's response.

"You didn't do anything wrong!" Toph growled swiftly, as if ridding herself of the thought. "It's me, OK?"

"Then why are you taking out your problems on _me?_ " Suki demanded.

"I don't know!" Toph roared.  
Well, that's kind of a lie, isn't it?  
"I've got...a lotta crap going on right now. OK?"

"I _know,_ Toph," Suki assured softly, her defensiveness peeling away. "And I'm sorry about everything that happened. But is there really nothing I can do to help?"  
Give me space! Geez! Damnit! Fuck! **URGH.**

"You can leave me alone!" Toph hissed, rubbing her aching forehead. "I never asked for your help! I don't even want to be around you right now!" Anoher moment of icy silence.

" _Why?_ " Suki demanded. Toph's heart twitched with regret in the tiny prick of pain Suki's voice exuded with that singe word.

"Just... _'cuz!_ " Toph gripped at her head with both hands now, her mind pulsating with pain and anger. Her brain exploded. "I don't care about how you can't bend or how I can't see! I don't care about your stupid Magic Makeup Brigade! I don't care what you think about me and I don't want your help! Why won't you just leave me _alone_?"

Wow. You're a jerk, Toph. What did Suki _really_ ever do to you but help you?  
Shutup-shutup-shutup! I don't care!

"Fine," Suki murmured in defeat. _Spf spf. Clatkle-klak-kk._ "If it's what you want, I'll leave you alone." Yow. Toph could practically hear the emotional bruise she'd created on Suki's heart through the girl's voice. Why did she find herself hating that?

"W-wait, Miss Makeup," Toph eased, struggling to maintain her cool. "I just-...It's-...I don't want you to think...that you did anything wrong."  
I can't believe I'm saying this.  
"I need time to...work some stuff out."

"I understand," Suki lamented.  
No, you don't, don't lie to me.  
Maybe if _you_ weren't lying to _Suki_ she'd have no reason to.

"You need to be left alone," Suki acknowledged. "You _always_ need to be left alone. You'd rather run away than admit defeat - but you'd rather _fight_ than run away. So when you're confronted with a problem, you fight it, or you run from it. You don't try to resolve it."  
Who the fuck are _you,_ telling me who I am?

"I'm exactly the same way, Toph. We're warriors. It's in our blood to fight. But you and me? We're too cowardly to admit defeat. We'll run or lie or sneak around it, but we won't accept loss, only victory or retreat."  
Am I really like that?

"We fight because we love to," Suki added, laughing in spite of herself. "Sometimes for no other reason. I used to think I fought for the Kyoshi people. But now that the war is over...I can't seem to find peace. I'm realizing that maybe I've always been fighting for _myself._ Life just...doesn't seem _right_ without something to battle. I bet you feel the same way after what has happened with your parents."

Toph's whittling was her way of channeling out her frustration as Suki mused and thought so deeply about these stupid ideas. Stupid ideas that were maybe true.

"But, Toph," Suki insisted with firm resolve. "We _both_ have to learn to get over this urge to prove ourselves. When Sokka and I first met, I felt like I had to prove to him that I wasn't just some girl - that I was strong, that I was a leader." Yea, great, rub it in. Go _right_ ahead. "When I was in prison, I had to prove it all over again. It sounds like you've always been trying to show how strong _you_ are, too. To your parents, to other earthbenders, even to us. But we're done now, Toph. No one doubts our strength anymore."

Toph blew at her work, dusting bone fragments away. The shape was done, now to smooth it a bit. She warped her stone around the object and gently willed it to dance across the bone's surface, smoothing it out.

I'm not listening...

"Sokka's dad told me something earlier today...I think both of us need to think about this, Toph. He said: All paths of the warrior end one of two ways: you end your battles and live a life of peace, or you fall to the hands of an enemy."

 _Clak-taklet-tak.  
_ She placed her incomplete necklace in a pouch, the bones rattling about.

Toph's task finished, she gripped the hard, smooth item she'd made in her hands like a precious treasure. Suki ended her monologue, clearly lamenting Toph's lack of response.

"I've been selfish, Toph. I've just been fighting for myself. And now I'm realizing that I have other things in my life worth putting down my weapons for. Reasons to stop fighting, to stop trying so hard to look strong. None of that _matters_ anymore. I really think we could help each other out, Toph, but..."

_Sph, sph, sph._

"It sounds like you need to figure out what _you've_ been fighting for, and what is it you're looking for now that there's no one left to fight - what it is that has you so angry."

_Sph, sph, fwoff-ff, cronsh cronsh cronsh..._

Toph stewed in her own mental juices for a few minutes in silence, rubbing her thumbs along the surface of what she had just crafted. She contemplated everything her ears had taken in that her mind hadn't yet.

She's right, Toph. You _know_ she is.  
Yea. I do.

Toph eased her meteor rock back onto her arm, comforted by its presence. She slid the bone ring she had carefully created up and down her pointer finger, its size too large for her. She hoped she had gauged it correctly.

What _are_ you angry about? What _have_ you been fighting for? What are you going to do with yourself now?  
I have to figure that out.

* * *

"Wow, this is beautiful," Aang admired, running his hands across the pieces of bone fragments, each one unique and painstakingly hand-carved.

"Do you like it?" Suki nervously wondered. "I know you were feeling bad about what happened, but...I just thought this would be a good symbol of your ties to Katara and Sokka's tribe."

Aang gazed at the relic with a bittersweet smile.  
I hope you forgive me, creature of the earth.

"It's so _pretty_ , Suki!" Katara complimented.

"I love it, Suki," Aang insisted. "I'll wear it proudly."

"Heeeey," Sokka shouted, pointing at his neck. "It's like mine! We match!" He grabbed Aang by the shoulder and crushed their sides together. "Brothers in arms!"

"Brothers in _necks,_ really," Aang chuckled, handing the item to Katara as Sokka rubbed his head with his knuckle. Katara carefully tied the necklace around his neck, it's surfaces dry and slightly rough against his skin. He instantly felt tougher wearing it.

"Letting that hair grow out again, huh?" Sokka observed, his nuggie transforming into a playful palm rub.

"I think he looks _cute_ with some hair on his head," Katara twittered, her hand stroking his neck affectionately as she pecked his slightly hairy skull with her lips.

"That's a good enough reason for me!" Aang decided.

"He has a lot of catching up to do if he's going to have hair like us," Hakoda teased, rotating a slab of meat around his cooking fire with care.

"Where's Toph?" Sokka pondered, scratching the hairs on his chin.

"Oh," Suki muttered, her face washed over with sorrow.

"Is she OK?" Katara questioned with some concern. Katara sure had seemed really worried about Toph lately. Aang had a feeling Katara knew something he didn't. After he'd blabbed about her liking a boy, he felt like he'd have to earn some of her trust again as far as secrets were concerned.

"No, she's...She's fine," Suki explained with some reservation and a discouraged look.

"What happened?" Katara pressed cautiously, her hands slipping from Aang's shoulders and she stepped over.

"Well, I...I was just trying to spend time with her, you know? And she was just...I don't know. She seemed in a good mood when you guys came back, and then you and Sokka left, and it was like she just turned grumpy all of a sudden." Suki was speaking quickly, clearly flustered. "I tried to help her relax - I know she's going through a lot - but it was like everything I did just made her more upset somehow! And then _I_ got upset and we kind of yelled at each other a bit, and...then she told me she didn't want my help, she didn't even want to be _around_ me, and...wanted me to leave her alone." By the end of her whirlwind explanation, she was grasping her forehead with a shaky sigh. "I just don't understand what I did wrong."

"I'm sorry, Suki," Katara eased, giving the Kyoshi girl a hug. "Toph can be...difficult...to deal with sometimes. I'm sure she didn't really mean to hurt you." Katara wrapped her arms around her waist contemplatively as she turned away. Aang recognized that look - furrowed brows, lips puckering out _just_ a bit...Katara totally knew what was going on. Did it have to do with Toph being sick? Yea, that had to be it.

"Yea, she's been acting _weird_ lately," Sokka observed. "She's yelling at us one minute and then happy as a clam-crab the next. Is it that time of the month or something?" Aang recognized that phrase. Sokka often explained to Aang when Katara was acting irregularly angry that it was 'that time' and that they had best just steer clear. Aang didn't understand _why_ girl's had a time like this where they acted kind of crazy. He vaguely recalled Sokka explaining something about chemicals, blabla...

Katara's face warped into a bit of a frown.

"If you _must_ know, Sokka," she touchily informed, her volume lowered. "Yes, it _is_."

Sokka cringed and slapped himself in the forehead.

"Of course!" he proclaimed in a profound whisper, stroking the hairs on his chin. "How could my masterful detective skills have neglected this _obvious_ explanation?"

" _Any_ way," Katara interjected, cutting his process off. "Toph really is dealing with a lot right now and she's not feeling well on top of it. I think maybe tonight we should give her some space if that's what she's saying she wants."  
It's hard to admit that, isn't it, Katara? But I think you may be right. Maybe she's been feeling suffocated by us?

"Maybe we should head back to Ba Sing Se soon, then?" Aang suggested. "There's no earth here, and I know it's been hard for Toph to do anything without help. You guys all know she hates that."

"Yea," Suki agreed gloomily.

"She hasn't been dealing with the cold very well, either," Sokka admitted.

"As nice as it is to have you here," Hakoda pointed out from outside their circle, "I would understand if you needed to leave sooner than planned. It's not as if we'd never see you again. Toph is a member of our family now, and we look after our family."

"Right," Aang agreed with a fierce nod.

"Then how about we'll leave the day after tomorrow?" Sokka proposed, pounding the side of his fist into his palm. "We can do whatever else we wanted to do here tomorrow, spend some more time with Dad and Gran-Gran, and head out the next morning."

"I think that sounds like a good idea," his sister supported.

"Whatever you guys think is best," Suki affirmed, pulling her fur-edged hood over her head as a chilly breeze swept over the village.

"I've gotten to do everything _I_ wanted," Aang admitted, reflecting on his aerial ballet with Katara and his penguin-seal ride. Rushing through the bitter clouds, their breath misting in each other's faces, their bodies pressed together, Katara's serene smile in the afternoon sun...

"Then it's settled," Sokka consummated the matter. There was a hint of longing in his deep-thinking eyes, Aang noticed. He didn't want to leave so soon. He didn't really want to leave at _all._

"I think I need a _man's_ help getting this food ready!" Hakoda called with a laugh.

"That's my cue!" Sokka proudly announced, his eyes sudenly aglow with that all-too-familiar dreamy state of hunger, a wide grin plastered all over his face. He danced to the tune of meat all the way to the fire.

"Katara," Suki whispered cautiously.

"What is it?" Katara wondered curiously.

"Why is Toph so _mad_ at me?" Suki asked discreetly, too quiet for Sokka or Hakoda to hear. Katara bit her lip, her eyes wandering away.  
OK, now _this is_ suspicious. Why would Toph be mad at Suki? I guess she _has_ been acting kind of negative toward Suki lately, huh?

"Do you think it's because she's just not used to you yet?" Aang theorized, keeping his voice down.  
Why are we being so quiet?

"That's what _I've_ been thinking," Suki mused thoughtfully with a careful nod. "I mean, we've been getting along OK for a while, but she's so stressed out and upset about everything...She doesn't trust very easily, does she?"

"No," Katara moaned regrettably, wiping her nose with her sleeve and sniffing. She placed her palms on her hips and considered the situation. "But that _is_ a good point, Aang...I mean, remember how she used to fight with _us,_ too?"

"Especially you," Aang pointed out with a sly grin.

"Yea," Katara groaned, her expression melting into discouragement. "It's taken a long time for Toph and I to really get along."

"She's just got a lot of stuff going on," Aang explained to Suki. "She can be really harsh sometimes but...She's getting better. Just don't take it personally."

"Right, it's nothing you did wrong," Katara eased. Suki shook her head slowly, eyes distant and perplexed. "What is it?" Katara asked.

"It's weird...That's exactly what she told me," Suki iterated. "That it wasn't anything _I_ did. But she doesn't want anything to do with me? What am I supposed to make of that?"

"Don't worry, Suki," Aang reassured with a pat on her arm. "We'll figure this out."

"I sure hope so," the distraught girl whimpered. "I feel like Toph and I share a lot in common, and we're supposed to be a family, but...-"

"It's like there's a wall there and she just won't let you in," Katara finished solemnly. "That's how she deals with it, Suki. It's nothing personal, OK?" Suki took a deep breath and nodded. "I promise, we'll figure everything out. It'll be fine."  
Yea, that's the spirit. We look after our family!

"Hey, Suki!" Sokka jeered from his position by the fire, "You better be hungry 'cuz _damn_ this is gonna be good!" Suki's worry shed away and she eagerly made her way over. Aang took the opportunity to hug Katara for the sake of it, and they each let out a satisfied hum. Aang considered asking for the details of what, exactly, was going on, but decided Katara's judgment was probably best. If he needed to know, he'd find out.

"If I'd known that was gonna happen I wouldn't have left them alone," Aang sheepishly confessed. Katara giggled.

"It's not your _fault,_ Dear!" She rolled her eyes, draping her thickly padded arms around his shoulders. "Goodness, Aang - you saved the _world,_ I think you're excused for a while to not worry about everyone else so much!"  
Spirits, I love your smile.

Aang squirmed his arms around her waist with care. It was such a relieving feeling, being able to do this without concern, without fear, without doubt.

"I have to at least be allowed to be worried about _you_ guys," he objected with a goofy grin. "You're my favorite people."

"Oh, OK," Katara patronized. "I guess that's allowed, then."

"You _guess?_ Hey, I'm the Avatar, my rule is... _law,_ " he muttered awkwardly, in that way that made it clear he didn't actually believe it.

"Whoa, _hey,_ there, don't go letting that 'Avatar' thing go to your head," Katara teased slyly, her eyes narrowing. She tucked his hood tightly over his head and nudged her rounded, squishy nose into his, rubbing back and forth gently. Their grips on each other tightened for a moment and their misty breaths were exchanged.

"Heyheyhey!" Sokka growled. They pulled their lips apart but they continued to beam at each other underneath their hoods. " _Dad,_ are you _seeing_ this? Does this not _disturb_ you?" he shrieked in exaggeration.

"My daughter has won over the heart of the _Avatar,_ my boy!" Hakoda roared. "I think I can stomach that!"


	21. What We Do

"So, uh...Heard you and Suki got into a bit of a fight today, huh?"  
A fight? That what we're calling now? If it was a _real_ fight one of us wouldn't be standing...  
Yea, and it'd be _you_ on the floor, 'cuz a lotta damn good you do out here. Without your bending, you're helpless.  
Geez. Kinda harsh. Yea, you're right, huh?

"A fight? That what she told you?" Toph wondered testily, scratching her nose.

"Uhhhh, well, _no,_ " Sokka corrected sternly. "But based on how upset she was, I'm _guessing_ that's what happened."

"Right," Toph grumbled, reminded of the rejection in Suki's voice. "Felt more like I was getting a scolding," she clarified bitterly, her brows digging down and her arms across her chest.

"That _is_ the right response when someone misbehaves," Sokka pointed out with coy implication.

"Maybe if she hadn't been so _pushy_ I wouldn't have a reason to be mad at her."

"Right," Sokka reciprocated her grouchy mumble. He proceeded to speak swiftly and with irritation. "It's OK if _Katara_ does it all of a sudden, but if Suki tries to relate with you, well, to hell with that, right?" She felt her gut go sour at the sharpness in his tone and the exasperated sigh he puffed out as he collapsed beside her. "What do you have against Suki?"  
Damnit. I don't wanna deal with this right now...

"I-Wha-...Who said I have anything against Suki?" Toph moaned, pressing her palm into her head.

"Gee, Toph, maybe _you_ did?" Sokka squeaked his voice to mock her own: "I never asked for your help! I don't want to be around you! Leave me alone!" _Skhhhff, shhf._ "I don't get it, Toph. I just don't get it."  
He's not calling me Rocky, or Kiddo, or anything...

"What do we do to fix this?" he offered calmly. "I had to deal with you and Katara going back and forth, and it got old _fast_. How about we nip this one in the bud, huh?"  
I am _not_ talking about this right now. Not even with you, Meathead.

Toph flicked her head to the side and blew, nudging her bangs out of her face. They drifted back down over her eyes.

"Listen, Meathead." Toph flopped the hair over the top of her head, running her fingers through it up to the point where it joined together into a braid. She sighed a long, deep breath as her conflicted mind sorted out the different possibilities of where this conversation could lead.

Let's just play it safe and stick with what I know.  
Are you sure that's a good idea?  
Don't care.

"I don't wanna talk about this right now. 'Kay?" A moment of silence. "I _kinda_ am putting up with a lotta crap right now." She smacked her boot into the ground in a fit and her tone ramped up in frustration. "I'm sick of wearing these stupid shoes and gloves, and...being freaking _cold_ all the time, and not being able to tell where anything _is_ , and...-"

"I know," Sokka eased, patting her head sloppily with his bare hand. "You can stop right there, Toph, I hear ya." The anger had melted away from his voice, and his chilled hand was oddly comforting, glued upon her head. "Tomorrow will be our last day here. We decided we'll head out the next morning."

"Really?" she checked, impatiently grasping at the notion of being back on solid earth.

"You got it," Sokka sealed the deal.

Toph blew out a relieved sigh and plopped her weight to her left into his side.

"Thank the Spirits," she groaned. "I'm getting sick of this place."

"Yea, I know," Sokka acknowledged, his words bleeding out a trickle of disappointment.

"No," Toph specified, "I mean, like...The people are nice, and it was _really cool_ to be accepted into your tribe and everything! It's just the cold, and the ice..." Sokka's tone healed a bit at her assurance.

"I'm glad you got _something_ out of it, then. But we've still got another day here, ya know? Still gotta take you ice fishing."  
Oh, yea. Right. Maybe...that'll be fun?

"That still sounds boring, ya know," she teased with a smirk. Time alone with Sokka out in the wilderness did _not_ sound boring the more she dwelt on the idea, scheming how best to take advantage of their time.

"You'll survive," said Sokka, squirming his hand around her head, shuffling loose hair all around. His physical presence left and she immediately yearned for it to return. To compensate, she scooted her bottom toward him so as to prop her head up from his side to his shoulder.

"Meh, we'll see about that," she criticized jokingly.

"Well," Sokka quietly muttered. "No offense, but...no, you won't. I mean...the whole 'blind' thing, and- _ow._ " She'd rapped her bare knuckles against his knee, trying to contain a snicker to uphold her threatening attitude. Another moment of silence floated by, this time comfortable and comical, but it soon withered away.

"Do you really have to stay here?" Toph mumbled with grumpy resignation.

"Yeaaa, Kiddo, I do," Sokka lamented.  
Hey! Kiddo! Yea! He must not be mad anymore.  
"I know, I know!" he woefully insisted, wrapping an arm around her back. "It seems unbearable to even consider," he embellished in his well-versed theatrics. "How will Team Avatar carry on without its noble leader? Where will they go, what will they _do?"_ Toph's humored mind gradually slipped into a state of melancholy as she came to realize that what he questioned in jest she questioned in earnest. "This," Sokka boldly continued, "I cannot answer. I am but only a humble shepherd content to watch over his flo _ck."_ He accented the last sound into a _'kuh'_ , and Toph giggled incredulously at his way with words.

"Wha...-?"  
What is he _talking_ about?

She shook her head in disbelief, slinking her arms around his waist.  
Got you now. Mine.

"Seriously, though," she fought through the last of her laughs. "How are we supposed to get along without you to hold us together? None of us have your smarts. And your sister sure doesn't have your humor." She squeezed him tightly, her bare hands soaking in the puffy, somewhat damp coat.

"Don't I know it," Sokka mused, tugging on her in return.

"Sorry I can't be everything _Sokka_ is," Katara's amused voice defended, _fwoffm,_ passing through the cloth door into the tent. "Hey... _Guys._ " Uh-oh. That part sounded like Angry Katara. That sweet politeness covering up something bad. "You guys...comfortable there?" It clicked in Toph's head: Katara knew about her feelings for the guy she currently had her arms all over. The guy who already had a girlfriend. She scrambled to lift herself from his body and gave him a rough pat on the back, hoping that Katara wouldn't give her any trouble about it.

"Eh, I've been better," Sokka casually replied, oblivious to the unspoken exchange the two girls had just shared. "But that's what dinner's for, right?"

"Then you're about to be better, because that's exactly what I'm here to get you for."

* * *

"Yea, I talked with her about it," Sokka dismissed the problem, patting his full and satisfied stomach.

"And?" Suki asked expectantly.

"And...what?"

"And did you figure out what the problem is?"

Sokka sighed and scratched at the base of his neck sheepishly.

"Nnnnot really."  
Kinda wish I _did_ know, though...

"Oh..."

"B-but it's OK! I promise we'll sort this whole mess out. I made sure she knew that how she treated you wasn't cool."  
Hopefully I didn't make her feel worse. I still can't believe she said something like that to Suki...

"I know, Sokka, and I'm sure she knows that, but...I just hate feeling this way." Suki shook her head, regretful.

"Feeling _what_ way?"

"Just...Just _seeing_ the pain in her eyes, hearing it in her voice, and feeling like I can't do anything - like I'm somehow making it worse." Suki had her hand on her hip, her expression distant and frustrated.

" _Whaahht?_ No way, you can't be making it worse - you haven't done anything wrong."  
Toph can just be stubborn, that's all.

"Was she like this with you guys before?" Suki wondered, cocking a brow.

Sokka shrugged and bobbed his head indecisively from side to side.  
Hells yes she was. Oy.

"Yea, she was. I mean, _I_ always got along with her pretty well, but her and Aang are real different, ya know? So they had some problems, especially when she was trying to teach him earth bending." He chuckled to himself as he recalled a mud-wrestling incident that had occurred between the two girls while they had been undercover in the fire nation. "And Katara and Toph just butted heads _so much_ for the longest time."

"It seems like they get along well _now_ , though," Suki observed.

"Oh, yea, definitely. Ya know, now that you mention it, it _is_ kinda funny, but...I dunno." He wiped his nose with his finger as he pondered the situation. "Toph's like...a hard cookie with a soft center. It takes time for her to let you in, and she tries to hide it, but she's a good kid. She really is."

"She acts like she _hates_ me lately," lamented the warrior, tucking her hood over her head as snowflakes began to drizzle down around them.

"I know, and I don't get it. But, hey-" He grabbed her hand in his own and squeezed before letting her slide her gloves on. "-if she _really_ hated you, then you'd have been buried under a boulder by now, right?"

"Oh, gee, thanks for the encouragement," Suki grumbled. "I can look forward to that when we're back in the Earth Kingdom, huh?"

"She'd crush us like grapes if she wanted," Sokka informed her with cheer. "She'll have to get through me first, though." He thumbed his chest, popping his eyebrows up.

"Oh, I'm sure that'll really put her on the defensive," Suki joked, poking him in the nose, deflating his intimidating posture.

"Hey, I'll be a chief soon. That oughtta strike fear in _everyone's_ eyes when they see me."

"I'm sure it _will,"_ Suki teased with a sly, toothy smile. "I'm _already_ afraid - for the people who'll be putting up with you."

"You should be afraid for your own life," Sokka objected as he slipped his hands onto her waist, unable to properly feel her curvature through her layers of clothing. All the more reason to take another break from this cold weather. "You're gonna have to put up with me _all the time._ "

Suki's smile wore thin and she eased herself out of his arms, tucking her hands behind her back.

"Wh-?" Sokka fiddled his hands together, perplexed. "Did I say something...?"

"You've already made your mind up then, haven't you?" Suki tartly scrutinized.  
Uh-oh. That's not a _good_ voice...I know that voice. That's 'Sokka, why do you have to be such an idiot?' voice. I swear, that must be a universal thing.

"About...staying here?" Sokka shot in the dark.

"About us _both_ staying here," Suki corrected, her tone sharp.  
Aw, crap. Back to this stuff again.

"They're my people, Suki. It's my responsibility. I have to stay - you _know_ that. I just figure that...ya know...based on how things have been going so far-"

"What about _my_ people, Sokka? They're _my_ responsibility."  
Dang, that's a good point. Why do I keep forgetting that?

Sokka bit his lip and stared into her fierce eyes, his brows tilting upward into a puzzled expression.

"Ya know, I _get_ that, Suki - and if this is gonna work out, _one_ of us is gonna have to pass our responsibility off to someone else. That's...That's just how it is. OK?"

"So _you're_ just going to make the decision for us. You're not even going to _consider_ living with the Kyoshi. Or even talk with me about it? We just stay here in the icy cold or we don't see each other again. Is that it?"  
Yea, I guess I _could_ have thought this one through a bit better. And here I assumed I was being such a great planner. Man with a plan. Detective mind. Sneaky snarky. Ha. _Snarky._ That's such a great word. Wait, where was I?

"Hm?" Suki hummed, demanding a response.  
Oh, riiiiight. That.

"N-no, Suki, I didn't mean to-...It's just that I've grown up _waiting_ to do this, Suki. My people have dwindled because of the war with the Fire Nation. They're on the brink of extinction. I have to bring them back." Her hard stare softened.

"Your people are more important to you than I am," she recognized solemnly.  
Ahhh, frick. What do I _say_ to that?  
"That's not a bad thing at all, Sokka," she quickly insisted, pressing her palm into his cheek. He nudged his head into her glove with longing. "I admire that. You're so selfless - you'd give up everything you could want from the world out there to stay here, in this harsh place, and lead these people." She sighed and dropped her palm from his cheek wistfully. "I just don't know if I'd be strong enough to do that with you..." And there it was: a tear, sliding down her cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered, shaking her head with an angry expression. "I need time to sort this out, Sokka..."

Before he knew how to react, Suki had brushed past him and was heading out of the village on her own, pulling her hood up over her head. Sokka knew better than to give chase. When Suki got angry or upset, she had to think things through - just like he often did. He trudged through the snow, alone, digging his gloved fists into his pockets.

Man...She says I've been selfless but I feel self- _ish._ How did I never seriously consider her own people? But I wouldn't abandon my own to be with her...I guess that means she's right: maybe my people _are_ more important to me. But isn't that what makes a good leader?

"Hey, Snoozles. What's got you beat?" Toph's vacant eyes greeted him from outside his family's ice fort house.

"Oh, heya, Toph. Just...stuff with Suki," he moaned in reply, shaking his head while he stood awkwardly beside outside the entrance.

"Ah," she said plainly with a hint of sorrow. That was the end of that topic, and Sokka was thankful. She didn't pry, she didn't try to smother him with sympathy, she just acknowledged his issue, knew she could do nothing about it, and let it be. "Your dad's waitin' for ya inside. He wanted to hang out with everybody and like...tell us war stories or something."

"That sounds awesome," Sokka decided, relieving her mind from its worries. "He's got some _great_ stories."

"Anyone get decapitated in any of 'em?" Toph devilishly wondered.  
Sometimes, you scare me, Kiddo.

"Uhhhh, I _don't_ think so," Sokka chuckled, humored by her curiosity.

"Awww, c'mon," Toph exalted, tossing her arms out. "Just a _little_ maiming, at least?"

Sokka grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around to go inside, tapping her back repeatedly to keep her moving.

"We'll see, Kiddo. Maybe I'll squeeze somethin' in there just for you."

* * *

_Thum-Thump. Thum-Thump.  
hhhhhhHHH...FFFFhhhhhh..._

Toph found herself nestled in Katara's arms, her head against the waterbender's wrist. She could feel the heartbeat through the vessels under her skin, her slow, even breaths relaxing. She couldn't hear Suki nor Gran-Gran from across the room and assumed they must have already woken up.

Toph reflected on the day before, grateful that Katara, though clearly uncomfortable with her physicality around Sokka as of later, hadn't confronted her about it. Suki seemed none the wiser, and based on what she overheard from her conversation with Sokka the night prior, she wasn't even sure if she'd be staying with him.

Would I stay with him? Could I? Maybe if I knew he was all mine...If I _knew._ Suki doesn't seem so sure about it. Like he's not worth it or something. Pff. Typical.  
Suki obviously needs time to sort things out, though.  
She never goes all in. Pussyfooting around. That's ninjas for you.  
Don't you think maybe it has more to do with her commitment to her people?  
Maybe this is my shot. Time to stop being a pathetic loser and accepting failure.  
That _could_ lead to a lot of good if you focus it in the right place.  
Time to step up and claim what's rightfully mine. Hell yea.  
Rightfully yours?

"Mrrrmmmhh?"

Katara's innocent, incoherent hum of awakening stirred Toph from her brainstorming.

"Morning, Sugar Queen," Toph bid, scooting toward the edge of the bed to allow her dear friend room to stretch and yawn. She had never fully noticed it before, but in her time sleeping beside Katara she had grown accustomed to the girl's habits of waking up. While she could always tell that Aang awoke with a jumping start, often bending himself upright, Katara took her time. She stretched out slowly, groaned out, curled herself back up for a few moments, yawned, and then would often shift about into some position that seemed like she was sitting. And she'd stay that way for a good minute or two, just sitting, not saying or doing anything else. Finally, she'd get on her feet and go about whatever business she intended to. She did precisely that this morning, just like any other Toph had observed. Toph remained behind in bed, squirming around due to a lack of body warmth.

"Good morning, Toph," Katara at last murmured. _Kofff. Ceeek. Rfff, rffff, rfff..._ The familiar sound of Katara brushing her thick, bushy hair.

Maybe you should try something else different?  
Hm...Maybe I _should._  
Just for the sake of trying new things.  
Yea. Sure. Oh, hey, I know...

"Hey, Katara..."

"Mm?"  
 _Rfff, rffff..._

"When you're done...You think you could help do _my_ hair?"  
Ulgh. I sound like a freakin' toad. Haven't woke up yet.

 _Rfff, rff-  
_ "Wait. _Your_ hair?"

"Y-yea...I-I mean, like...Could you clean it for me, and...like, brush it? Or whatever?" Toph was forcing her words out uneasily, her voice groggy and her mind still somewhat blurred.

" _Wait,_ " Katara repeated, obviously amused. "Toph, are you asking me to make you _clean?_ And make your hair look _pretty_?"  
Crap, she's onto me.  
"Now...why would you ever want me to do _that_?"  
She is _totally_ onto me...

Toph swallowed hard, unsure as to how to proceed. Katara clearly understood what thoughts were going through Toph's mind, and yet there was no hostility in her tone, only suspicion. Toph scrambled to cover her tracks.

"Ya know...I just...I want to look nice for everyone. When we leave. And stuff."

"Riiiight," Katara patronized. "This wouldn't have _anything_ to do with my brother, and the fact that he's on shaky ground with his girlfriend. Right?" _Rfff, rffff..._

Screw it, she knows.

"Ugh, OK. Fine. Yes, _maybe_ it might have something to do that. So what?"

"I'm not going to tell you not to talk with him about it," Katara conceded. "If talking about it is going to help you, then...I think you should."

"Rrrreally?" Toph slowly muttered in disbelief.

"Yes," came a matter-of-fact reply. "Maybe if you talk things through with him you can sort everything out. You know, instead of sneaking all of your cuddling around behind Suki's back."  
Yikes. Angry Katara strikes again - eye before the storm tone of voice there...

Toph could feel her face flash with heat as her actions over the past day were laid out out on the table. It was like embarrassing notes passed in a class that the teacher had gotten a hold of. Toph rolled over in the bed and tugged at the blanket, pulling it up over her shoulders and shrinking in shame.

 _Thip thip thip thip. Rrrk._ The bed beneath her tipped toward the edge from Katara's weight.

"I didn't do anything wrong," Toph defended with a stubborn defense.

"It's not what you're doing," Katara explained calmly. "It's the _intentions_ behind what you're doing."

"Oh?" Toph growled. "What intentions?"

"That's exactly what you should be asking yourself, Toph," Katara retorted with a dash of disappointment. "I see the way you act around Aang, and the way you around around Sokka. And it's the same a lot of the time. You do very similar things. But _how_ you do them is a little different."

"I'm not making Meathead do anything, it's not _my_ fault if he acts differently than Aang does."

"No, but unlike Sokka, I'm a _girl,_ Toph. I can tell what you're trying to do when you're with my brother. You may not even realize you're doing it, but you are."  
Huh? What am I not realizing I'm doing?

"What are you talking about?"

Katara sighed and paused to configure her answer.

"You've been flirting with him, Toph. You like him, you want him to like you back, so you've been trying to find out if he _does_ without actually talking with him about it. That's what you're doing."

"That's what I'm doing?"

"That is _exactly_ what you're doing. We're girls - some times that's what we do." While Toph could detect that stingy disapproval coming from Katara, like a faint scent, there was also a knowing assurance.

"What do _boys_ do?"

Katara giggled. " _Boys_ are silly and don't really notice this sorta stuff." Toph felt like she didn't really notice a lot of these kind of things herself but was sure that Katara's theory was correct. "Boys will..." She hummed a sentimental laugh. "Boys will just go out and _kiss_ you if they like you. They're not exactly good at being subtle."

"Sooo..." Toph rolled back over, pointing her face in the direction that Katara's voice came from. "You think...that I should just talk with him?"

"Sokka's dealing with a lot right now. I don't know if it's is the best time to talk about something like this, but... _Eventually_ , yes."  
Oh. Well...damnit, I don't _want_ to wait...What if I wait and Suki takes him away again and he comes back to the South Pole and stays here forever?  
Then maybe you need to accept that.  
No. Forget that. No way.

"OK," Toph muttered with neutral acknowledgment, sitting up and stretching out her arms one by one with a grunt. "Well, I'm startin' to get sick of this braid thing, anyway. Sooo..."

"It's fine," Katara insisted. "I'll do your hair for you when I'm done. You should get changed, it'll be time for breakfast soon."

Toph took a deep breath and made note of how she was feeling much better now than she had been earlier, her cramps much more subdued and her mood more tame. Thank goodness Gran-Gran had some medicine to help with the pain or she probably would have gone crazy.

"Today's a new day," Katara optimistically chirped. _Rrffff, rffff, rrrfffff._ "Just one more day here and we can go back home tomorrow, all right?"

"Yea. I'm sick of waiting."


	22. Enough

_Cronsh. Cronsh. Cronsh._

Braving the bitter wilderness was an exciting adventure for Toph - everything was so bare, so blank, and yet there were tasty morsels of life echoing in the distance. A _rrrnt_ blipped out behind her from something she wasn't familiar with. _Arp-arp-arp!_ faintly from their left.

 _Snnnnffffffff._ Toph held tight onto Sokka's puffed out chest. "Ahhhhhh," he exhaled peacefully. What, precisely, was so delightful about the empty scent of 'cold' was beyond Toph. Her body was rocked about as his arms pushed her up so he could maintain his grip around her legs. "Great weather today, huh?" he observed in earnest.

 _Cronsh. Cronsh. Cron-  
_ He slowed to a stop and Toph sniffled, wiping her dripping nose into the furry hood over Sokka's head.

"Great weather?" she remarked in disagreement, tightening her grip on their fishing poles. "It's freakin' _cold._ "

"Ah-ah, _but-_ " Sokka objected passionately as he bent over, letting her slide down his back. She couldn't feel anything through her feet upon landing save for the basic structure of their environment - flat and empty - and the fact that some kind of body was standing a foot in front of her. " _But,_ is it windy? Is it snowing? Or blizzarding? This is nice weather."

"You keep tellin' yourself that, Meathead," Toph mumbled with a smirk.

"We're here," announced the to-be Chief. _Sphhh-fff-fufff-fuff-puff._ He was moving some snow around, likely clearing a space. "Haha, _yes,_ " he cheered. "Already here." _Twobble-obble-obble..._ What the heck was that?

" _What's_ here?" Toph demanded plainly, stretching her arms out impatiently.

"Our ice fishing spot. Looks like the other villagers have been using it while we've been away. I left a flag to make sure people could keep track of it. Looks like they did!" He seemed rather impressed and somewhat surprised by this. Toph went to step forward but her foot bumping into something hard, and she nearly got thrown off balance.  
Damnit! Stupid boots, stupid ice, can't tell where anything is...

"Whoa, hey," Sokka called, _cronsh cronsh cronsh._ "You all right, there, Kiddo?"

"I'm fine," she grunted, shaking her leg to loosen out her ankle. Hardly a scratch. "What the heck did I just _hit?_ "

"Our seat!" _Spff-ff-luff._ More brushing. "Go ahead, sit on down."

With some reservation, Toph found her way around the object and placed her butt down, wedging it over a layer of draping coat to ensure she didn't get too wet. It was kind of lumpy and chilled - was this just a lump of ice?

"It's an ice bench," Sokka proudly explained. "Katara made it for me a while back."

"Wow," Toph's dulled sarcasm mocked. "Ice houses, and ice furniture now, huh? You guys are geniuses."

"Hey, we get by with what we've got, that's what we're all about. Shove over, dork." She felt a nudging hand on her arm and shifted her weight to the side to allow Sokka to slip next to her. Their ice bench was a bit narrow, so Toph's right hip and leg were pressed against his. She was fancied by the sensation as much as she could be through their padded clothing. She passed him a pole and fiddled with her own as she awaited further instruction.

"Sooo..." Toph eventually murmured.  
What the hell is he doing?

"Oh!" he snapped to his senses. "Um, right. Sorry."  
Is he all right? He sounds confused for some reason.

"What do we _do_?"

"Well!" She felt her fidgeting hands around the pole pressed by his own. Her arms were jerked around, tilting the pole about. "First we gotta bait you up." Something about the way Sokka had phrased that layered by his proximity to her made her feel uncomfortable, and she did her best to look unfazed. She could sense him tinkering with something, and heard some small, squishing sounds. "There ya go." He swiped the pole clean from her hands.

_Swoo-plunk._

"Here." He shoved it back into her grasp and she fumbled to clutch it between her clumsy gloved hands. When she finally had a good hold of it, her tensed shoulders loosened and she took a deep breath.

_Swoo-plunk._

"And now we wait," Sokka firmly announced.

And wait they did. And damn was it ever so boring. Five minutes? Ten minutes? Two hours? Toph's mind blanked out and she couldn't tell the difference. She had no idea how long it had been, but knew that her legs were falling asleep from her sitting position and the numb ice seat she was perched upon. Her nose had frozen up, and the silence between the two had progressed from surprisingly comfortable to slightly awkward to fucking _boring._

"Snoozles," Toph finally broke the quiet air like a pebble thrown through a window. "What's the point of this? This is stupidly _boring..."_

"Boring?" Sokka whimpered with a _sniff_. "Well! Sorry that some of us appreciate the...intellectual depth of...self-reflection."

"If _that's_ why we're out here then why couldn't we have just...stayed inside? In the _not_ freezing cold? I'm freakin' _sick_ of being cold."

"Just can't wait to get back home, huh?" Sokka lamented.

"No. I can't," Toph's blunt honesty responded.

"Did this trip even do you any good at all?"

Toph rubbed at her frigid nose as she considered his question. What _had_ she gained from this trip?

"Uh, I really liked the...ceremony thing. That was...pretty awesome. And it's cool getting to know your dad more and stuff. He's pretty different than what I'm used to. He was so serious before, but I guess it's no surprise that he's got that same stupid sense of humor you have, right?"

"Uh-huh. Chip off the old block, I am."

"And, like, I guess..." She coughed, her throat a bit sore from the cold. "I guess just...having no earth to bend, not being able to tell where anything _is..._ It's super annoying! I hate it." She puffed out a breath of exhausted air. "But I admit, it makes me realize, like...My earthbending? Being able to 'see' through the ground? I've been kinda...like..."

"Taking it for _granite?_ "

"Yea, and-wait, what?"

"Taking it for _gran-nit._ Get it? Ya know? Like...with rocks? And-?"

"Are you serious?" Toph interjected with an incredulous laugh. "Really? That joke is _so lame!_ "

"Hey," Sokka jabbed her arm with his elbow. "I've been holdin' on to that one just for _you,_ thank you very much."

"Yea, uhhh...It wasn't so funny the _first_ time, either."

"First time?"

"You and Aang must both get your jokes from the same idiotic place, 'cuz-"

"You are _kidding_ me," Sokka growled in defiance. Toph was almost unnerved by his seriousness. "Aang used that joke? That was _my_ joke! _I_ came up with that joke! You know how serious an offense that is, stealing a pre-planned joke like that? _Man!_ " he huffed out in frustration, _pfff-_ ing his knee. "I've been holding onto that one for a couple of weeks! _Spirits_ , Aang, you little thief. Oh, I am getting even with him on this."

"It was just a joke, Sokka," Toph giggled. "I feel like if you're gonna pull a prank on Aang it should be because of something bigger. Like...I dunno, how he's dating your sister?" She wiped at her nose with her furry sleeve.

"Don't even get me _started_ on that!" Sokka raved. "It's a good thing Aang's so strong or I'd go and kick his butt. Put him in his place, ya know?" Sokka's arm slapped around Toph's back as he wiggled her about. "You'd better hope this boy you're seeing back home isn't a wuss or he'll have _me_ to deal with!"  
Damnit it all. You just _had_ to say something, you idiot. There goes my freaking face, like a fire.  
"And I won't go easy on him!"  
Ya know what, Snoozles? I wouldn't put it past you to beat your own self up somehow.

Toph's head had shrunk into her hood, bobbed down with a smirk stapled to her face to cover up her fear.

"Hey, geez," Sokka groaned, his arm slinking away. "No need to get all blushy on me, Rocky. I'm just pickin'."  
Well, damn. So much for that, he can see right through me. I guess I should know better.

"Yea, I know," she spat out sharply, trying to act interested in her fishing pole. Specifically and intently interested, as if he were distracting her from this task. She was relieved that he dropped the subject. At least he knew when to let crap go. She had to be thankful for that. She decided to spice things up a bit and peeled off her gloves. Since they had threads that were around her wrists, she was assured they wouldn't get lost. She wrapped her hands around the chilled pole made of...bone? Yea. The thing was made of bone. Weird.

As her fingers tightened around it, she could feel the tickling sensation of the waters rippling below them. She couldn't quite tell exactly what kinds of vibrations meant what, but she began twitching her wrists slightly whenever the sensations changed in the hopes of luring a fish along. _pin pin._ After a few minutes of trying this out, her patience was rewarded with the sound of the fishing line stretching out thin and her icy hands were tugged at.

"I got one!" she cried triumphantly, yanking her pole up. _Slish!_  
Whoops! Crap! No, no, wait! Ah, hell.  
She'd felt the weight of the fish vanish in an instant when she had yanked her pole up. She cocked her head to the side and growled irritably.

"Aw, man," Sokka sympathized. "Let one get away, huh?"

Toph snorted in reply, tossing her pole into the snow and crossing her arms in a pout.  
All that waiting for nothing. I didn't _let_ him get away, either. Geez.

"Haha." _Pfft pfft._  
Don't laugh at me! I don't want your pity. Just a stupid fish...

"Sorry, Toph. It happens to the best of us. Ya wait and wait and...nothin'. Sucks, I know. But it's not getting the fish that counts, it's what you get while you wait." _  
What?_ What the fuck does that even _mean?_ We sat here and haven't _done_ anything. We haven't even talked!

"I'm sick of waiting," Toph grumbled, kicking her foot out impatiently into the air.

"O-OK, well, we can just...We can head out now, then, if you want."

I waited for my parents to come around. They never did. What if I try waiting on Sokka? Is the same thing gonna happen?  
It's possible, isn't it?  
I'm sick of waiting. Sick of everyone telling me to _keep_ waiting. Lotta fuckin' good _that's_ gonna do.  
Then stop waiting, if you're that impatient. You have feelings that need to come out. Tell him.

"N-no, it's OK, we can stay for a bit longer," she decided.

"Ya sure? You're lookin' pretty frozen there."

"I-I'm OK."  
Hell, he's right, I'm freezing.

Bare hands still tucked under armpits, she realized how much her whole body was trembling. She shouldn't be staying out in the cold much longer.

"No need to act all tough about it, Toph," Sokka insisted, patting her on the knee. "If you get sick, _I'm_ the one who's gonna be dead 'cuz Katara will murder me. She'll bend a freakin' ice sword or something and just - _gurk!_ \- impale me right on the spot."

"And Tw-Twinkletoes and I will j-just laugh."

"That's because you two are jerks."

Katara said I shouldn't tell him yet. And Uncle Iroh said that we could mess things up.  
 _But!_ Aang said we should just go for it! That turned out pretty good for him, right?  
Fine, but how do I even tell him? Just say "I love you, Sokka." Like that?  
But do I even _love_ him?  
Of course I love him. But I love Aang, and Katara, too.  
He'd probably think it was like that, and then I'd have to _explain_ it to him, and ugh...Awkward.  
Maybe we shouldn't try to explain anything, just show him.  
Do something silly, like what boys do. No subtlety.  
Yea, subtle ain't my style, anyway.

Wow. Quite a debate you just had with yourself there, Toph. Are you sure you want to go through with this?  
Yea. I have to.  
If you insist.

"-bleeding out all over the ground, and you'll just be _laughin' it up,_ 'cuz you're a horrible person like that."

Toph pulled her hood down, letting her loose hair absorb the arctic hair.

"Whoa, hey. You're shaking, you need to keep that on. Are you crazy?" Sokka demanded.  
Fuck yes I am.

She groped her hands in the direction his voice came from, clasping her freezing fingers around. Her hands fumbled around to find their way into his hood and she managed to find the radiant heat that pulsed from his neck. As soon as she'd found her mark on his bare skin, she could feel it with clarity, her icy hands melting from his body heat. His heartbeat was clear and apparent as it rapidly picked up pace, practically quaking through her numb fingers.  
 _Ta-Thump. Ta-Thump! Ta-Thump-Ta-Thump-Ta-THUMP-Ta-THUMP-TATHUMP-TATHUMP!_

"Toph? What-?"  
Shut the hell up.

With each forceful _TATHUMP_ coursing through her palms, she could sense precisely where his mouth was and lunged into him, forcing him to crane his neck down as she puckered out her lips and mashed them into his. It was wet and icy and clammy. She savored the moment as best she could, her stomach empty, her breath quick, her heart pounding. It was kind of gross and slimy, but she wanted it to continue. His head squirmed but she held onto it firmly. She wasn't going to let this one go. He grunted something out through his nose, and she finally released her lips, pressing her face into his neck, nuzzling her frozen nose into it. She grabbed his face with her hand, running across his own nose - somewhat flat and rounded, like his sister's. His forehead was dry and rough, his jaws hard and sharp. A thick patch of scratchy, rough hair rested on his chin, and she tickled her fingertips across it as she inhaled the scent of his odor through his neck. Pressure built up in her chest suddenly. It kind of hurt, but she found herself leaning into it for some reason she couldn't understand. A quivering breath mixed with a hum slipped out from her before the pressure on her chest was so great that she was flung back. Her hands grasped through air, her senses were scrambled, gravity changed course. Suddenly, she was on the ground, her legs up in the air, leaning against the side of the ice bench, snow seeping into her hair.

"Wh-?" Sokka was gasping, his voice trembling and distraught.

Toph's steaming face was on the verge of exploding into a mess of tears, her eyes ready to burst from the confusion the situation.

That didn't go how you thought it would, did it?  
That was super awkward. And kinda gross, but I wanted to keep doing it.  
Sokka sure thought it was gross. He just pushed you to the ground.  
Maybe 'cuz I was just sucking on his face like a leech?  
Yea, that makes a good bit of sense, hm?

As she struggled to regain her balance and sit up, at least, Sokka was muttering a mile a minute.

"What? Is this-? What, some kinda joke? A prank? Did Aang put you up to this? Or my sister? This is a _bad_ joke."

Oh, I see how it is. Fuckin' fantastic. Yea, I cut loose and go for it and the first thought that occurs to you is that it's a prank. This is bullshit. I can't believe this. What made me think for even a moment that this would turn out any different than everything else?

The tears came fast and hard, and Toph fought to crawl onto her knees, her fingers chilled to the bone in the compact snow they dug into. Her back to Sokka, she struggled to get onto her feet.

"Sn-Snoozles, I-I...-" she stammered, befuddled and confused by her own actions.

"Don't-" Sokka huffed, equally frustrated. "Just...It's Sokka, Toph. Just call me Sokka." He said it with a hint of condemnation and the crack in Toph's heart was splintered further, his rejection breaking it cleanly in two. It wasn't shattered, but split squarely in half. "Listen," Sokka continued with a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't...What I just said, it's not that I meant to say it's stupid, or a joke, it's...-"

"Whatever," Toph hissed, forcing her stone-like hands into her mittens with much more effort than she would have liked.

"No, seriously," Sokka pleaded, though his tone struggled to cover up what Toph detected as irritation. "Toph, listen." She flicked her hood down over her damp tangle of hair and clamped it down, muffling his voice. "I'm sorry. I don't...I had no idea. I didn't think that it was...-"

"Yea?" Toph interjected with bitter resolve. "Well, it d-doesn't matter, anyway. Ob-obviously. So...wh-whatever."

 _Cronsh cronsh cronsh.  
_ She forced her way through the snow. Damned stuff was so hard to walk in, and these stupid boots weren't doing her any favors.

"Toph!" Sokka cried, his voice sour and angry, like hers. _Crnsh._ "Where are you going? Wait up!"

"I'm going to-to go be b-by myself, wh-which is _obviously_ where I'm s-supposed to be."

"Don't!" Sokka growled. _Cronsh-cronsh-cronsh._ "I know you're upset right now - I get it, Toph, I do - but don't be an idiot. You're gonna get more sick out here. We need to take you back."

Like a reflex, she pushed his hand off her shoulder, screaming, "Don't touch me!"

"Toph," Sokka commanded, his tone firm with authority. "I really _really_ don't want to be a jerk here but we're going _back_ right now."

"You can fucking _make_ me, then." I don't care right now. I don't want to hear you or feel you or have anything to do with you.

"I will if I have to," Sokka threatened. "I'm not letting you stay out here alone. It's too dangerous. We can let you have some space to yourself after we take you back, but-"

"Fine then!" Toph roared, flailing her arms out in her unguided march. "L-like I can do an-anything to st-stop you! I'm a f-fucking useless p-pile of _shit_ out here."  
Stop crying! _Damnit,_ seriously! Ugh, this sucks so bad.

Toph wanted to run away and hide, but she couldn't because she couldn't tell where the hell she was going.  
She wanted to crush Sokka under a boulder but couldn't because there was no earth beneath her feet.  
She wanted to rip out the butterflies in her stomach but couldn't because she loved them there so much just moments before.  
She wanted to stop crying, but couldn't because she cared too damned much.

"Stop it, Toph," Sokka plainly demanded. "That's not true. Come here."

Her knees wobbled uncertainly as she furiously rubbed snot and tears from her face. The faint, fuzzy ground suddenly disappeared entirely as she felt her weight lifted off from it. She ignored his warm breath, his firm arms carrying her like the wounded child she was, and every other thing she would have paid careful attention to earlier that same day. Her body shivered and shook, she choked and coughed and sputtered. She felt entirely broken. Sokka carried her all the way back to the village without a word.

Toph recalled what she had told herself not long ago. He'd said, _"I'm just one guy. I can only do so much here."_ She'd responded within her mind, _"That's good enough for me, Sokka."_

Now she found herself wondering if she had been kidding herself. Maybe that _wasn't_ good enough.


	23. Knocking

Katara ran her fingers across her handiwork with care. The band of leather was taut and smooth, the round, glimmering stone of green sleek and shining.

"I really hope she likes this..."

"I'm sure she will, Katara," Hakoda assured.

"Wow, that's a pretty stone," Aang observed, reaching out his arm to hold the necklace Katara had created. Katara passed it to him with some hesitation and he treated it with the same fear and gentleness as he would a baby. "What is it made of?"

"It's an emerald," Hakoda explained with a reminiscent smile. "I got it from the Earth Kingdom while on a trading trip. I gave it to Katara's mother for her birthday many years ago. The emerald represents hope to ease the troubled mind. I didn't want her to worry about me when I went off on my travels."

"Ohhh," Aang murmured in awe, his eyes enraptured by the simple beauty of the rock. "So, Katara, is that why you're giving it to her?"

Katara smiled at the way his eyes lit up as gears clicked into place and she nodded.

"Mm-hm. When Dad told me about it I knew it was the right one. And, well...the green matches what she likes to wear, too."

"It looks a lot like _your_ necklace," he observed.

"Yea, I wanted it to...kind of match, I guess," Katara noticed - she hadn't quite thought of it until after she had made it, if she was being honest, but she was glad it had turned out that way. "What about yours, Aang?"

Aang's face went pink and he rubbed his head sheepishly.

"Did you not finish it?" she skeptically inquired, lifting a brow his way. His eyes wandered off and he stuttered.

"W-well, I-I'm almost done."  
Aang, how would you ever get anything done if I didn't keep you on task?

"Almost?" She was clearly more amused than disappointed, much to his relief.

"I-I promise I'll finish it before we leave!" he guaranteed with palms extended out in a plea.

"OK," Katara giggled as she put the necklace in her coat pocket before giving him a brief hug, running her hand across his peach fuzz hair. "If you need my help, Aang, just let me know."

"Suki's actually helped out a little 'cuz I didn't know how to like, tie the string around them, ya know?"

"That's great," she acknowledged, patting the side of his face gently.  
She'll love it no matter how it turns out, Aang, don't worry about it.  
"Speaking of Suki, where is she?"

"Oh, she's making dinner with Gran-Gran," replied the cute little baldish boy.

"Ah, dinner," Hakoda grunted, slipping his trusty, worn mits over his rough hands. "I should be helping finish that up. Gran-Gran's not the best with spices. Don't want her to overdo it, right?" He chuckled and waved them farewell. Katara couldn't help but find it strange how _calm_ her father was just leaving them alone like this: his daughter with a boy she was openly romantically involved with. The war must have really changed him and made him a lot less strict and stressful than he had once been. She couldn't help but wonder if perhaps after everything that had happened he had learned to just let things fall into place a bit more. Either way, no complaints were coming from her. She would appreciate the ease of mind her father had found and the privacy she had just been granted.

"Man, I'm getting hungry," Aang mumbled. _Grrugglloo._ His stomach made a lurching sound and Katara cracked a grin.

"I can tell," she picked on him, poking him in the stomach. She gave him a sly smirk and smuggled her hands around his back. His face lit up again in that reddish hue she admired and she scrunched her face up as she rubbed her nose against his. He giggled and caused nose friction in return, latching his own arms around her waist. His tiny, dainty hands always felt like little dancers on her skin, and she regretted the cold weather that prevented more direct contact. Their faces would do for the time being, and she gave him a quaint kiss on the lips, which he then reciprocated.

"Sometimes I think I just _might_ love you, Aang," she teased, pressing her temple against his own and closing her eyes. "You know that?"

"Well...That's pretty cool," Aang smugly muttered witha shrug. "I guess I'm OK with that."  
Hee, you little twerp.

She snorted and whapped the back of his head with her hand in a subtle jab of dominance.

"OK, OK, I think maybe...I love you too," Aang conceded, his tone deepening with solemn affection at the end of the sentence.

Sooner or later Katara knew this wouldn't be an 'I think' and 'maybe' thing but she didn't want to intimidate the boy. She pressed her lips against his neck and delighted at the action being repeated toward her.

"So," she began slowly, relishing the moment with their heads tight together, "when we get back, I think we sh-" Katara was cut off when someone entered the house with quick stomping and an exasperated huff, and their position withered apart to a loose grip. She knew that irritating sigh very well. Something had happened with Toph during her time with Sokka, hadn't it? Her mind raced with the different possibilities.

Did she talk with him? I _told_ her to wait. I hope he let her down easy...What if he was insensitive about it? Ugh, he _could_ have been. But what if she had been stupid about it and he'd just been blunt with her? Or _what if_ he'd told Suki? Geez, after everything that happened yesterday...

"Toph?" Aang greeted with a blend of courtesy and confusion. "What's...up? How did-"

"It went fine," she coldly interrupted, tossing her fishing pole to the ground in a fit. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as she stood, breathing forcefully with fists clenched.  
Oh, no. What _happened,_ Toph? What did you do? What did he say?

"Are you OK?" Katara swiftly asked, giving Aang a melancholic glance before letting him go and approaching the shaken girl. Her back was turned to them, her hood drawn over her head.

"Yea," Toph lied, her voice sharp with anger. Katara's heart sank at the sight of her trembling fists. She feared that whatever was going on it could undo all the progress Toph had been making in the past couple of weeks. She knelt down and extended her hand in offering, careful to explain.

"Well...Maybe this will make you feel better. I made this for you today." She carefully touched Toph's wrist and went to place the necklace in her hand, but was immediately shaken off with violent aggression, tossing the necklace to the floor.  
Toph! I made that just for _you_! I've been spending all day on it...That's a family heirloom.

"Don't-...Get-" Toph sputtered out, thrashing her hand out and pushing Katara haphazardly in the chest. Toph fumbled a few steps back, nearly falling over. Her body spun around, and Katara could see the strands of hear stuck to her face from freezing streams of tears gluing them in place. Her milky eyes were fraught with pain and fear, her breath rasping between chattering teeth grit together.  
Wow. _Well,_ then. Looks like she's in _quite_ the mood. Guess I'm not getting an explanation from _her,_ at least not right now. I'll have to find out from Sokka if she's going to be this way.

"Leave me alone," Toph sniveled, failing miserably at coming across as threatening.

"Toph," Aang whimpered. "Wh-what _happened_?"

"What part of _alone_ -...?" she began, trailing off and huffing, shaking her head. She tossed her hand dismissively at them and turned away, feeling her arms out and pacing ahead until she hit a wall. When she did, she smacked her forehead into it and slid down to her knees, sobbing quietly.  
Spirits, the poor girl...After everything she's been going through, I can't even imagine what's going through her head right now. She is _not_ going to talk in this state, either. I wish she'd just relax and talk to us...

Wide-eyed, Aang's jaw dropped as he creaked his head in Katara's direction. His expression read silently, 'What do we do?' Katara shook her head, eyes dull with disappointment and sympathy. She decided to give it one last try.

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to-?"

"Go away!" Toph screeched like a blithering banshee.

Katara sighed, quickly growing irritated by the stubborn insistence Toph was demonstrating in her seeming desire to remain perfectly miserable and angry. It hurt, it was infuriating, but Katara had to call it.  
If that's how you're going to be, Toph, then fine. We can't help you if you're going to act this way...

"All right," Katara said with as calm a voice as she could muster, rising to a standing position. "We'll just-"

"I don't care!" Toph growled. _  
Wow,_ what the hell, Toph? I don't know what your problem is but you're pushing it right now, girl...

"We'll just _leave you alone now,_ " Katara forced above Toph's grunting "Whatever!"  
What is your _problem?_ I just don't understand you sometimes, Toph. If you want to sit in a hole and cry by yourself, then fine, I'll let you. Geez...Why won't you let us help you? _Why?_

Katara, her face worn thin of any patience she had previously been holding, glared at Aang and tried to wipe her frustration away at his scared expression. She nodded her head to the side, signaling him to follow, and he did so quickly and quietly. When they were clear from the igloo fortress, Aang insisted on obtaining an explanation.

"What is going _on_ with her, Katara?"  
Ugh, I promised her I wouldn't talk with anyone else about it...If I don't, I have a feeling he's going to hear it from someone else, but I still made a promise. I have to stick with it.

"I don't know for sure," Katara slowly answered. This was a half-truth, at least. They had to talk with Sokka. As irrational as Toph was acting, Katara hoped she could trust her brother to act mature in a situation like this.

"Sokka!" she called out idly to a patch of tents. Aang shivered and pulled his hood over his head, tucking his arms around himself. "Sokka!" Katara called again after moving to a different portion of residences. Just as she was about to call again, she saw him scurry out of the tent they had been using as a kind of "guest room" during that week.

"What?" he moaned, eyes dreary.

Katara hustled over, leaving Aang to play catch up.

"What happened?" she whispered urgently.

Sokka sighed, his eyes straying from her sharp glare, and he rubbed at his goatee before nudging her to follow him into the tent. She turned her head to see Aang trudging through the snow, and waited until he had reached them before tugging his arm and leading him in behind her brother.

When the three of them had entered the tent, Sokka took a deep breath and shook his head with dread.

"Katara...You _knew_ about this, didn't you?" he grumbled, his voice a bit shaken.

"I..."  
He already knows, it's OK.  
"Yea."

"How long?"

"W-well, I...I kind of had a feeling for a while, but I didn't _know_ until a few days ago."

"Um, guys?" Aang poked into the conversation. "Whhhhat's goin' on?"

Sokka chuckled at him, muttering, "Yea, that was _my_ reaction, too." This response only left the poor boy more perplexed.

"What happened out there?" Katara whimpered, her head pounding with stress. "Did...Did she talk with you about it?"

"About _what_?" Sokka snapped in a high-pitch, tossing his arms. "About how she has _feelings_ for me all of a sudden?"  
They're not all of a _sudden,_ Sokka...

Katara bit her lip nervously as Aang's face contorted into one of disbelief. Sokka continued, bewildered.

"No, no she didn't, Katara. Toph's not one for words, I guess. She just groped me and _slobbered on my face_ , is all." He was speaking in a rush, his voice cracking, slightly in hysterics.  
Oh, _no,_ not that. No way. Why would she _do_ that? Why would you _do_ that, Toph? What was going through your _head_? Ugh, I can't believe this...No, no, _no!_ This is _not_ what anyone needs right now! How am I going to fix this?

"Waitwaitwait _what?_ " Aang cried out incredulously. "Sokka, are you...Are you saying that Toph _kissed_ you?"

The bewildered boy snickered nervously and shrugged. "Uhhhh, w-well, gee, Aang, um, I always thought kissing was, like, a mutual, two-person thing, so, erm...No - more like she assaulted me with her _face_."  
Sokka, stop being a baby and quit overreacting.

"OK," Katara snapped, shooting her brother a sharp look. "I'm sure it wasn't as horrible as you're making it out to be."

"I had to _push her off_ ," he clarified slowly, making a shoving gesture. "I-I mean, heh, hey, yea, I know I'm...ya know, irresistible and everything, but... _damn,_ " he huffed, taken aback by the whole thing, and clearly trying to humor himself to ease the burden.

"Sooooo Toph _kissed_ you," Aang concluded, still reeling.

"Yes, Aang," Sokka growled, throwing up his arms. "She _kissed_ me, OK? I didn't ask her to, she didn't _tell_ me she was going to, she just... _did_ it. Why the hell would she _do_ that?"  
Wait a minute...

Katara spun her head to her side to observe Aang's blushed cheeks.

"Aang," she suspiciously started with a snippy flair. "Did you convince Toph to do this?"

"Wh-?" Sokka squawked out, lost.

"N-no, of course not!" Aang shakily defended. "W-well, I mean, I told her...-" His eyes darted to Sokka and back to Katara. "Told her about, w-well, you know... _us..._ B-but I never...-" He cleared his throat, his face bright red.  
Maybe I should get upset with him more often? He's so adorable when he's all flustered...

"I had no _idea_ she was talking...about _you,_ Sokka..." came Aang's meek regret.

"What did you _tell_ her?" Katara wondered.

"Yeaaaa," Sokka murmured. "What _did_ you tell her, Aang?"

"I-I just told her about..." He pointed at Katara and himself at once with both hands. "'Bout how I...kissed you the first time..." Katara nodded expectantly, a smirk crawling across her face at the thought. "A-and I told her, like...That she should go for it, right? B-because what did she have to lose, ya know? B-but I had _no idea_ that she was thinking...-" He trailed off with a huff, his mind blown by the whole thing.

"Wait-wait," Sokka grumbled. "How _you two_ kissed the first time?"

"It's none of your business," Katara curtly dismissed him.

"Uhhh, maybe _this_ is none of your business?" he countered.  
Ugh, Sokka, that's not the point, let's move on.

"What's important here," Katara proclaimed, "is that Toph obviously has some kind of romantic feelings for you, Sokka."

" _Naw,_ ya think?" he winced, scratching his chin fretfully.

"Do you like _her_?" Aang pounced at the question while he had the chance.

Sokka huffed and rolled his head around indecisively. "N-no, I don't," he muttered. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a great girl and everything, and I _love_ her, I really do, just...Not like _that_."

"Is that what you _told_ her?" Katara demanded specifically.

"Not in...as many words."

"In _what_ words?"

"W-well I thought at first it was...maybe some kind of prank, and-"

"Nooo," Katara gasped.  
No doubt that's part of why she's so angry.

"B-but I apologized!" Sokka immediately added, pointing at Katara's dubious glance. "A-and I'll talk with her about it, I _swear,_ b-but...You know how she is! Once she realized I didn't feel that way, it was like..." He chopped his hand before his face. " _ **Boom.**_ **Stone wall.** Ya know?"

"We know," Katara sighed. "That's how she was to me just now when you guys got back."

"What are we supposed to _do?_ " Sokka squeaked in desperation. "This so _awkward_!"

"Stop being a child!" Katara scolded. "I know this is a lot to deal with all at once, Brother, but you said _yourself_ that you're not a kid anymore, right? Stop acting like one. Toph? She _is_ still a kid. You two need to talk all of this out. You need to tell her what you just told me."

"What if...What if that doesn't change anything?" Sokka worried.

"Then..."  
I don't know! How should _I_ know?  
"Then that's her own problem, and she'll have to deal with it."  
I love you, Toph, but this is how it is. But we can be here for you and help. You just need to _let us._ _Please_ let us.

"I sure hope she can," Sokka groaned, rubbing his forehead fiercely.

"Yea, we'll figure this out!" Aang declared, patting Sokka on the back forcefully. He laughed at Sokka's cough from his slap. "We look out for our family, right?"

"That's right," Sokka agreed with a warm smile. "Sorry, guys." He crawled out of the tent and took a long, clearing breath. "I just...I'm so _stressed_ right now. I don't...I don't need this. Why couldn't this have waited?"  
Because Toph was sick of waiting. I wish she would've waited, too, Brother.

"No one needs this right now, especially Toph," Katara sighed, noticing Suki swiftly approaching them as she stood up from her knees, exiting the tent. Her face was distressed and puzzled, just as Aang's had been.

"Guys," she called, dashing to them.

"H-hey, Suki," Sokka mumbled, his head drooped, gaze traveling everywhere but toward her face. "What's up?"

"What is going on with Toph?" Suki demanded firmly. "I thought she went ice fishing with you? She's freaking out over there!"

"Uhhh yea," Sokka blurted out. "Funny story..." He cast a glance to Katara, his teeth clenched fearfully. "I'm sure Katara can help cheer her up, though, right? _  
What?_ Are you _kidding_ me? You didn't see what she was like!

"Er, I'm not so sure-"

"Yea, Katara, she seems to talk with you," Suki acknowledged.  
Not helping, Suki! Not helping.

"Maybe we can get her to calm down," Aang offered, tugging on Katara's arm. His eyes were determined and strong-willed. "I'm sure we can if we try."  
Oh, Aang. You just never quit, do you? I'll give you that.

"Maybe we can," she ho-hummed with a shrug. "Let's give it a shot."

"Yea, yea, they'll sort it out," Sokka timidly reassured Suki, waving the of them farewell. "I probably should _explain,_ huh?"

"Is this serious? She seemed _really_ upset. What did you _say_ to her, Sokka?"

"Uhhh, well...-"  
That's right, Sokka. Just tell her the truth. It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. Um, well, maybe the...thinking it was a joke part was a little insensitive, but...Anyway! We'll sort this out. _I_ will sort this out.

"Katara?"  
Shoot, it's Dad.

Katara whirled around in a flash with a syrupy sweet, "Yes, Dad?"

"Everything all right, Dear?"

"Ohhhh, yes," she assured with a plastic smile. "Everything's fine, Toph's just...nnnot feeling well! Soooo we're...-" She shot a sideways glance to Aang, who was dumbfounded by the whole situation. "We're just gonna goooo help cheer her up!" Aang nodded his head energetically, playing along with her.  
Smart boy.

"I see," Hakoda muttered, scratching his chin skeptically as he continued to roast fish over the fire in front of the main igloo.  
Just...nevermind, Dad, I've got everything under control, OK?

Katara burst through the entrance of the igloo with the zest of a hero entering a villain's lair to save a princess. Except in this case, the villain _was_ the princess. And the lair was...Katara's own house. And-yes, OK, maybe that was an odd comparison.  
Maybe more like-argh, sidetracking here, need to focus.

Toph's voice cut her from her derailed train of thought.

"I told you, Suki, leave me the fuck alone!" _  
Whoa._ What?

Katara's eyes popped wide open and she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Ummm, _what_ did you just say, little Miss?" Katara demanded with the utmost motherly voice she could muster. She didn't quite intend to, it just...slipped out in reaction to such language. Toph was sitting against the same wall they had left her at, but with her back against it. Her damp, sticky face drained and her brows raised in surprise.

"K-Katara," she called out shakily.

" _When_ did you add that word to your vocabulary, Toph?" Katara marched over to the snot-faced, quivering girl on the floor. "So that's the way you've been talking to Suki, is it?"

"What the hell do _you_ care?"

"Why would you _say_ things like that to Suki?"

"I don't give a fuck what any of you think, just leave me alone!"

"Toph, Hun, please just calm down, OK?"

"No! I'll calm down when I want to, not when you tell me!"

"Toph, listen-"

"You're not my mom! I don't _have_ a mom! Or a dad! So don't-"  
Ugh, this is going nowhere, let's just cut the chase here.

"Toph, why did you kiss my brother?"

Toph's already shaken face widened, rejection and disappointment flowing from her undirected eyes.

"I..." She was starting to sniffle again.  
Oh, geez...It's OK, Toph. Really, it's fine. It's all going to be fine. Just tell me what's wrong.  
"I dunno, I just...just felt like...d-doing it."  
Well...I guess I wasn't really expecting anything more specific than that, come to think of it. The poor girl doesn't understand why she's doing half of what she's doing lately...

"You shouldn't have done that, Toph," Katara advised with a sigh. She sat beside Toph in an attempt to avoid intimidating her, and cast her gaze to Aang, who was petrified, still standing in the entryway.

"Aang, um...Would you mind...-?" she asked with a pleading and sympathetic look.  
I know how much you want to help out, Aang, and I'm sure you'll get your chance.

Aang snapped out of his trance and blinked quickly, nodding to her and heading out as calmly as he could, fidgeting his hands together fretfully.

"Why did you do that when I _told_ you to wait?" Katara asked with the pain of disappointment ringing through her words. "And why did you kiss him? He's with Suki, Toph. That was...very selfish and inconsiderate." Toph was sniveling to the point of having trouble speaking.

"I-I don't...g-give a fuh-fuh-"

"OK, hey," Katara sharply interjected. "If we're going to talk, you're going to have to tone down the language, all right?"  
Kind but firm, Katara. You can't let her get away with being rude but you can't smother her with control.

Toph snorted with a frown and slapped her fist into the wall she was propped against.

"Now go ahead," Katrara eased.

"I-I heard S-Suki and So-Sokka have a f-fight-" She inhaled some mucus and rubbed at her face furiously. "-and I thought m-maybe I should...y-ya know..." She coughed a couple times, then rested her gloved hand on her chest, her breathing still a mess. "J-just didn't wah-want her to come b-back and t-take him away again wih-without _knowing_..."  
I see. So you felt like you should jump in and make a move when you had the chance. But Toph, Dear, they didn't break up...

"I can't believe you did that, Toph," Katara whimpered, shaking her head.  
You've really made a mess of everything, and you certainly haven't done yourself any favors because of it.

"M-me _either,_ " Toph sniffled, wiping her eyes, disheveled strands of black hair a disaster scene across her face. "I can't b-believe it either..."

"Sokka is very stressed right now, just like you - and now you've made everything worse."

"I-I know. B-but why does th-that stupid n-ninja get to k-keep him?"

"What?"

"I-I deserve him m-more than she does!"  
Excuse me?

"Um, Toph, I think you need to listen to yourself. You're being selfish."

"I-I don't care, I'll do wh-whatever I want. S-sick of pee-people tellin' me what to d-do!"  
Then you need to get some of your priorities straight!

"Well, you can do what you want, Toph, but _not_ if it means hurting _my brother_!" Katara snapped, leaning toward the crumpled girl.

"I-I...-" Toph sputtered out, flashing a palm up defensively in reaction to Katara's proximity.  
Oh, Toph, Sweetie...I'm upset with you and disappointed, but I'm not going to _hurt_ you...

Katara's mind trailed back to the occasional bending battles she and Toph would have in their fits of disagreement, and acknowledged that Toph was surrounded by water, with no earth to use. She was helpless in about every possible way, and was used to resolving her issues through violence or manipulation. She was petrified that this was how the situation at hand would also be resolved. It wasn't a terribly logical thing for Toph to assume, but Katara knew that Toph's hand wouldn't have flung itself up in instinct like that otherwise. Logic wasn't always Toph's strong point, anyway, and with everything that was no-doubt cascading through her brain, it came as no surprise that logic was probably out of the picture at the moment.

Katara grabbed Toph's tightened arm and squeezed it fiercely, pulling the shaking girl toward her.

"Toph," she began. "I'm...really disappointed in you," she admitted with honesty, trying to lay it easy on her. "You _really_ shouldn't have done what you did..." Toph huffed through her nose, resisting Katara's hug, but not enough to actually try breaking free. Just in a way that expressed some mild discomfort. "But I promise...everything will be OK. You just have to let us work us things out with you."

As Katara let go, she realized that Toph had seemed to let herself go kind of limp, brows furrowed.

"OK?" she double-checked, giving Toph a shake. Toph, her tears seemingly dried up but her face still sticky, shook her head slightly.

"It's not OK," Toph grumbled.  
Toph, Sweetie, come on. Don't be like that.

"I know it's not right _now,_ but it will be."

"Whatever..."  
Maybe she just needs some time? She can be pretty stubborn.

"Well...By this time tomorrow, we'll be back in Ba Sing Se. There'll be solid ground, and you'll be able to earthbend, and drink all the tea you want!"

"Yea."  
She doesn't sound all that enthused...

Katara sighed and gripped Toph's shoulders tightly.

"All right, Toph, what can I do to make you feel better?"

" _Nothing!_ " Toph hissed. "Nothing, OK? I never said I wanted you to make me feel better!"

"Toph, I can _help_ you, I just-"

"It doesn't _matter_! It's done! My parents rejected me, and so did Sokka. Now everything's awkward and I don't know what's going to happen."

"I know, Toph, which is why you have to let me help you."

" _Ugh!_ Whatever! You can't help, OK? Stop trying so fucking hard!"

"What did I just tell you about that language?"

"Oh, I'm _sorry,_ is it too yucky for your prissy Sugar Queen ears?"

"Hey, what's your problem? I'm just trying to help!"

"No! You're not trying to help, you're trying to _control_ me. You're just trying to fix me because that's what this is to you, huh? I'm just something broken that you can fix, right?"

"Toph!" Katara growled, offended. The angry girl went on.

"You think I can't take care of myself and you need to protect me 'cuz you think I'm some wimp."  
No! _No!_ That's not it at _all,_ Dear!

"How could you say that? You're like a sister to me. Of course I don't look at it that way."  
Right? I don't do that...do I? I mean...of course I want to fix everything, but because I _love_ Toph, I love my brother, I love Suki...Not just to fix something.

"I don't care, Miss Fussybritches."  
 _What?_ You haven't called me that in...a long time. _You're_ being a Fussybritches right now! Why am I not getting through to you?

"Toph, just tell me what you _want_ from me. Please!"

"I want you to leave me alone! This is _my_ business. Maybe I never should have even told you in the first place."  
Spirits, maybe I'm just wasting my time here. She can be pretty stubborn sometimes but I've never seen her this bad. I think maybe I should just wait until we're back home. This is pointless...

"You're my family now, Toph. Your business _is_ my business."

"I don't care about your family!"  
Yes, you do. I was there when we had that ceremony - right in front of you. You were crying. That meant so much to you, I _know_ it did.  
"I just want to be left alone right now..." _  
Shit,_ this is so infuriating! She's not listening, she's just...acting stupid and ignoring everything I'm saying. I can't deal with this anymore.

Katara rose to her feet, crossing her arms defiantly.

"If you want to be alone, fine. Go to our tent outside. Be alone. This is my family's house. If you don't want to be part of my family today, then don't be."

"Fine," Toph seethed, scrambling to her feet.  
Is she going to be able to even _find_ the tent?  
"I'll see you tomorrow," she huffed, wobbling her way to the doorway. " _Oh wait!_ " she seethed. "No I _won't!_ I never will! I'll never see anything."  
Toph...come on. Stop doing this. It's not like you.

"If you want to be a part of this family _tomorrow,_ " Katara specified, shouting as Toph disappeared, "we'll be here waiting for you." She received no response, though this was expected.

Katara wistfully paced to the thankfully undamaged necklace that had been tossed to the ground. She scooped it up and stared at it for a moment with remorse and sorrow, but remembered what the emerald stone represented.

Toph, Toph, Toph...You're really confused right now. I'm sorry for all of this. I want to help you _so_ much but I guess I'll have to wait until you let me. I'll keep knocking on that door until you decide to open it. I promise.


	24. Forget

" _That's_ what this has been all about?" Suki groaned, rolling her head around in contemplation.

"I'm really sorry," Sokka winced. "If I'd known...-"  
If I'd known, what _would_ have I done?

"No, Sweetie, it's fine," came his much-desired assurance. "I'm not upset - I mean, I _am_ upset," she clarified. "But I'm not _mad,_ OK? Not at you."

Sokka puffed out a sigh of relief as she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Are you mad at...Toph?" Sokka wondered with a meek shrug.

"Um, w-well, yes," Suki replied, gaining her bearings. She seemed almost guilty at first but composed herself. "It's not the end of the _world,_ but...She should know better than to do something like that, don't you think?"

His head drooped and he nodded disparagingly.  
Yea, you're right, Suki. I have no idea what was going through her head. Was I leading her on...or something?

"Do you think," he wondered seriously, wrapping up a sack of rations, "that this is _my_ fault?"

"Sokka," Suki scolded, "How is this your fault at _all_?"

"I don't know," he puffed out in exasperation, slinging the sack around his shoulder. Dang. Heavier than he thought. "Do you think maybe I...acted in any way that made her think...-?" He stared at her with deep concern. Suki shrugged and shook her head hurriedly.

"I didn't think so," she decided. "The way you've always talked about her made her sound like a little sister."

"Th-that's because she...-" Sokka rubbed his neck and rolled his head around contemplatively. "She _is._ "  
In some ways she understands me better than my _real_ sister does.

"Then I guess she's been interpreting things the wrong way," Suki deduced. "At least it explains what her problem's been with _me_ ," she grumbled with a hint of bitter frustration, but Sokka knew she was ultimately relieved. Suki had been afraid it was something personal against her, but all of this ruled that out.

"I just don't know what to do about this," Sokka groaned.  
Man, I really _really_ don't need any of this right now...  
"But I need you to know, Suki, this doesn't change anything between us. You know that, right?" _  
Please_ tell me you know that.

"Of course, Sweetie." Suki grabbed Sokka's hand and squeezed tightly. He leaned in to give her a kiss but she leaned back, instead pulling him into a hug.  
Well...I'll take what I can get right now.

"What we need to work out," Suki assured, "is between us. Toph has nothing to do with it. I know."

"OK." Sokka sighed through his nose, bending his neck and pressing his chin into her shoulder before they split apart.

"Guys?" It was Aang. "Oh, there you are." He shivered, exhaling a cloud of mist and rubbing his hands together. "It's pretty windy out there," he observed. "You ready to go?"

"We are," Suki replied with a nod, lifting her backpack over her shoulders.

"Good to go."  
Good as I'll ever be, anyway.

Minutes later, the group was lined up in the middle of the village, bidding their farewells to the various residents. It was exhausting for Sokka, since he knew everyone - he had to give each family a proper interaction despite his feelings of apathy in that moment. In his mind, it served as practice for what he'd have to do some day - act like everything was fine even when it wasn't for the sake of the people.

"You keep an eye on everyone, Dearie."

"I will, Gran-Gran. You, too, eh?" He smirked as he hugged the feeble-bodied, strong-willed woman.

Sokka at last turned to his father who beamed down at him with pride.

"C'mere, Son," he grunted with a laugh, crushing Sokka in his arms. Sokka slammed his hands into the man's back as hard as he could. "I'm sorry for the time I was gone," Hakoda whispered. "But I'm so proud of the man and woman you and your sister have become while I was away."  
Thank you. That means a lot. We'll make up the time we lost. At least, _I_ will.

"I love you, Dad," he expressed with a straightforward tenderness, tone quieted.

"As do I love you, Sokka," his dad reciprocated with a lowered voice. A hard smack on his shoulder and Sokka was sent off. "Now listen to Sokka here, everyone," Hakoda advised with a farewell wave as they boarded their steed. "He's in charge!"

"Then we're all doomed," Toph huffed from her edge of the saddle. It was the first thing Sokka had heard her say all day. His confidence in the day's outlook had been inflated gradually, but her cold words caused a leak. Suki obviously noticed this, as she rubbed his arm with her gloved hand before easing him to his perch on Appa's head.

He gripped the reigns tightly, preparing himself for the pain of leaving his family, acknowledging that he was still taking an important piece of them with him.

I'm in charge. If I'm going to tell people I'm a man, I need to start acting like one. I'm confused, we're _all_ confused...Toph's being a downright stubborn jerk - just like I'd expect - but I can't let that setback drag everyone else down. We need to get back home, first and foremost. We can figure all of this out from there.

"Yip yip!"

* * *

Toph likes _Sokka?_ Wow. I can't believe I didn't figure it out before. How could I be so stupid?

"Aang?"  
Huh? Oh, Katara. Of course.

Aang had been meandering in deep thought, border-lining meditation, as he observed how quiet and uncomfortable everyone was acting. It was hard for him to fully conceptualize the idea that Toph had done to Sokka what _he_ had to _Katara_ \- that she felt the same way he did. Just the idea of Toph feeling that way toward anyone was an alien thought to him, though he had to admit it was unfair to assume she wouldn't or couldn't.

How did I not notice something like this the whole time?

"What's up?" he asked, his attention on her radiant face in the clouded morning light.

"Are you OK?" she wondered with an unsure gaze.

"Of course," Aang persuaded, though he immediately second-guessed himself. "I mean, everyone's acting weird, but..." He didn't try to say it quietly - that was pretty much pointless at the moment. Everyone would be able to hear, anyway, and part of him didn't mind them knowing how strangely dull they were acting.

"I know," Katara grumbled - clearly she was thinking the same thing. They glanced at the front of Appa, where Sokka calmly manned the beast, his back to them. Suki was leaning against the front of the saddle, a chattering Momo poking his head out from her hood, latched around her neck. On the opposing side, facing Appa's rhythmically bobbing tail, Toph sat, tucked in a ball, motionless.

"Did you finish what you made for Toph?" Katara wondered in a whisper.  
Uh, Katara? She can probably still hear you...Come to think of it, where'd I put-Ah! There it is.

He fished it from his coat's right pocket and presented it to her with care. It was an anklet made of twine wrapped through and around smoothed out shards of bone of various random shapes. When Aang had found out Katara was making Toph a necklace, he realized that she'd have a bracelet and a necklace and wanted to make something different. Suki had suggested an anklet since Toph loved being barefoot and had spent a good deal of time helping him create the surprisingly intricate trinket. In the same way his new bone necklace represented his ties to Katara and Sokka's family, so, too, would this for Toph.

"Hey, Toph," Aang called excitedly, eager to present it to her. There was no response - not even an acknowledgment. Aang's heart sunk as he recognized just how solid a wall she had built up this time. It was going to be a tough one to crack, but they'd find a way. He exchanged discouraged glances with Katara but gave her a nod and floated himself over to her side. Her eyes weren't visible beneath her hood and her loose bangs.

"Hey," he repeated, giving her a gentle nudge in the side. She wobbled at his gesture but remained unfazed otherwise, hands gripping at her shins as if she were struggling to hold on to her own spirit. "Um..." Aang stared at his offering and back at the mentally wounded girl. "I, uh...I made this for you," he explained, feeling his nervousness squeeze at his throat. He ignored it and forced his way into further conversation, placing the item on one of her knees. She snorted at him like a newt-dog, budging not an inch.  
Wow, weird. There's gotta be _some_ way to get you to stop being all mopey...

Aang's mind raced with ideas. He slowly moved his hand over Toph's knee and carefully removed the anklet. He cocked his head to the side, peering into her face. Her bottom lip was puckered out and her eyes were slammed shut tight.  
Yikes. She's super cranky. Think, Aang. You found a way to defeat Ozai without killing him...This should be _easy_.

And then the idea hit him. A bit..unorthodox, but he was _sure_ it'd work. He scrambled back over to Katara and handed her the anklet. Her despondent glance was replied with a shrug as Aang bit his lip.  
I can't tell her because Toph will hear...Hm...

"Hey, Katara," he muttered, his eyes darting to the grouchy girl to his left.

"Mm?" she hummed with an intent gaze. He was fidgeting with his hands, fingers twiddling together like spider legs.

"Uh-ummm...I'm gonna try something. Just...don't freak out, OK?"

Katara's eyebrows twisted to express her confusion, but before she could speak, Aang had grabbed his staff and was marching Toph's way.  
OK...Gonna have to nail this.

He managed to pull it off in one fell swoop, an elegant motion that involved him airbending Toph into the air just far enough so he could wedge his body underneath hers below the glider and launch them both off the side of Appa's back.

As they were propelled through the chilly air, a horrified shriek exploded from Toph's mouth, nearly deafening Aang.  
Whoa. She screamed. Like a _girl_ scream. Haha, weird.

His chest was crushed by Toph's chubby hands, her arms wound tight around him as she squirmed and scrambled to find a stable position on his back.

"Hey, it's OK," he choked out through the pressure, a giggle finding its way out after.

"What are you _doing,_ Aang?" screeched the girl. She slapped his head, but squeaked when her lack of grip made her slip a bit. Aang chuckled and focused a gust of wind to boost her back up.

"I thought that since we couldn't go for a walk, I'd take you for a ride," he explained with a sneaky grin.

"Why would I wanna _do that_?" She was clearly not in agreement with this idea, but Aang felt it was for her own good.

"I couldn't figure how else to get you to talk."

There was a moment of awkward silence in which Aang felt his gut lurch. He'd gone to great lengths for a simple conversation.  
Please, _please_ just talk to me.

"We can talk about whatever you want," Aang explained in a rush, not wanting to alienate the confused girl or put her on the spot.

"All right, OK!" Toph grunted irritably. "Geez...Kinda extreme just for a chat, don't ya think?"

"Extreme times call for extreme measures," Aang slyly retorted. Another huff from above. "So come on, Toph. What do you wanna talk about?"

Her arms tightened around his chest and an exhausted sigh drizzled out.

"I...did what you told me," she muttered resentfully.

"You went for it," Aang concluded, guilt squirming its way past his logic and into his core.

"Didn't end well," Toph added with sharp disdain.

Aang sighed out a remorseful, "I'm sorry."

"It figures," Toph groaned.

"Just not your week, huh?"

"Not really."

"Well, um...The good news is that you're super sneaky, huh?"  
Hm. That didn't come out right...

"What...?"

"You, uh...You're good at being, like...sneaky. I had no idea. About that thing."

"Pff. Yea, neither did _he_. Was that...supposed to be a compliment?"

"Er...yes?"

"Psh. Thanks for the effort there, Aang."  
That wasn't an annoyed tone, that was a sarcastic-but-amused tone. Good.

"Are you gonna be all right?" Aang wondered. A delay, capped off with a deep breath.

"Probably," Toph grumbled. "I just don't wanna deal with this right now..."

"No one's _making_ you."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Toph retorted with defensive snark.

"Ummmm..." Aang fidgeted his grip on his glider. "I-I guess I'm saying that...you don't _have_ to worry about this stuff right now. Ya know?"

"No," she flatly huffed. "No, I _don't_ know."

"You could just try to ignore it for a while," Aang hurriedly explained, finding the words he was grasping for. "Take your mind off of things and don't think about it. Clear your head."

"Clear my head?"

"Exactly. That's what you have to do when you meditate - you have to try to...I dunno, not think about anything."

"Err...I don't think I understand," she muttered with a tinge of genuine curiosity.

"I'm not saying that's what _you_ should do, exactly," clarified Aang, now fumbling to recover some kind of helpful advice. "But I think that you should find something that will help you forget about...stuff. At least for a while, until you're ready. Does that make sense?"

"Forget about stuff..." Toph murmured it thoughtfully, her mind obviously elsewhere. "Yeaaaa."  
Maybe I've got her attention?

"Like, when I meditate," Aang continued, "I do breathing exercises. You have to take really deep, slow breaths. You just keep focusing on the breathing, until that's the only thing on your mind. So you're just breathing in and out, and-"

"Blablabla, spiritual mumbo-jumbo, breathing. Whatever."  
Oooookay. So I guess it wasn't the meditation that had her interested...But that would probably help her out.

"Thanks for trying, though, Aang," she added, slapping his padded chest with a patronizing glove.  
Hm. How come she's not calling me Twinkletoes?

"So what should we do when we get back to Ba Sing Se?" Aang asked her, trying to place some control in her hands when she probably felt helpless.

"I dunno," she muttered, at a loss. "But I'm probably gonna need some time alone."

"You sure that's such a good idea?"

"I thought you were saying I should take my mind off things?"

"Y-yea, but, like, we could _help_ you-"

"How am I supposed to take my mind off of how awkward everything is if I'm around everyone who's _feeling_ awkward?"  
OK, yea. Good point. Nevermind.  
"I'm not a baby, I'll deal with it," Toph punctuated her rhetorical question with some bitter regret.

"OK," came a plain acknowledgment. "Whatever you think will work." The wind howled as Aang arced their weight and rotated direction, heading back to his bison. Toph's arms crushed his chest as they tilted and he found himself hurting in her stead.

How would I feel if Katara had said 'no?' Pretty awful...Maybe even angry - for a while. She just needs time.

He recalled when she had insisted that she wasn't sure, and how difficult that had been. But _knowing_ that that person was with someone else, that had to be hard. He couldn't tell if his efforts at getting her to talk had succeeded as Toph was silent once again for the rest of the day; but after their ride had ended, he'd passed her the anklet he'd made and she had accepted it, stuffing it in her coat's pocket without any thanks save for a weak smile before retreating to her spot by Appa's tail.

* * *

" _Krtkrtititit._ "

"I hear ya, Momo. Quite a mess, huh?" Sokka chuckled.

"What are you looking for?" Aang wondered, bat-lemur perched on his shoulder.

Sokka scratched his head, knelt over his sack with a perplexed look on his face. He looked up at Aang and replied, "Just unpacking."

"But it looks like you're looking for something," Aang pointed out, filled with suspicion.

"Its...-" Sokka shrugged and tossed his arm dismissively. "Nothing, I just need to make sure everything's here."  
Yea, he is _definitely_ looking for something. Look at this mess, all of his stuff thrown out everywhere, unorganized...It's not like him.

Indeed, it was an odd site, all manner of things from hunting equipment to food to parchment sprawled across the kitchen table.

"Do you need help sorting everything out?" Suki's sympathetic voice inquired as she entered from the backyard.

"Oh, um," Sokka mumbled as she scratched at his shoulder. "Sure, yea."

"By the way," said Suki, handing Sokka a small glass bottle damp with traces of greenish liquid on the inside. "I found this out back - wasn't this yours?"

His face melted into despair as he cradled the bottle in his hands like a sick baby.

"Yes," he sniveled. "It's all gawwnnn..."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry," Suki stuttered. "I found it with some awful-smelling stuff in it so I dumped it and washed it out for you."

Sokka was clearly holding back his disappointment as best he could. In other words, he was on the verge of tears.

"How did it get back there?" he growled, eyes sharpened.

"I-I'm not sure, Sokka," Suki fumbled, confused at his sudden change in mood. "Was it important? I'm so sorry, I thought it was bad."

"No, it's OK," Sokka gasped out. "I'm better than this, anyway." He slapped the bottle onto the table and began pulling together fishing equipment. "I don't need it."

Aang stared at the empty container, pondering what had once been contained within it.

"Do you guys need my help?" he offered, his pet scrambling across his head, impatiently eying a small stash of berries laid out.

"We're fine," Suki insisted with a half-hearted smile, patting a dismayed Sokka on the back.

"All right. I'm gonna go out front and feed Appa."

"Go for it, Pal," Sokka grumbled in a childish whimper.

Aang airbended a wicker basket of cabbages he'd bought when they had returned and planted it on his head. Skittering outside, he reached the sleeping bison and grinned. The poor guy had collapsed as soon as they'd gotten back, but he needed some food in his system.

"Hey, Appa," Aang greeted loudly, placing the basket beneath his enormous nose. Appa's face wrinkled and his nose twitched and inhaled. Gradually, the beast's dull eyes opened and he lazily licked at the basket, toppling it over and reaping the green riches with hos slobbering tongue. Aang was startled when a gleeful giggle erupted from the bison's back.

"Sluuurrrpeee **slurp!** Haha."  
What in the-? Is that...?

A barefooted girl rolled down the side of the flying bison, black hair flopping around wildly, and crashed into the grass with a unsettling _whack._ She groaned, somehow still chuckling through it all, and struggled to her knees.

"Hooo _hooo,_ wow, fast." Somehow she managed to get onto her feet, wobbling, arms cast out to maintain balance.

"Toph?"  
What on earth is wrong with her?

"Twinkatwinks!" she snickered, a wide grin exploding onto her face, her eyelids bobbing up and down. "Heeee." She punched him in the chest, her face flushed red. "Nob'dy twinks like _you_ twinks."

"Uhhh..."  
This is _sooo_ creepy. It's like she's another person. Except she still _hits me._ That figures. _  
_

Toph leaned into Aang, going limp for a moment, and he caught her, flustered by how tightly she squeezed him upon regaining her footing. A squeaky hum slipped through her nose, unsettling him further. His body tingled and he could feel his face heating up.  
Yea, this is really weird...I don't know what's going on, but this isn't right.

Their embrace lasted entirely too long for his comfort given the way she was acting, so he cut it off by easing her by the shoulders off of him. Her pale eyes were blankly directed over his shoulder, a goofy smile on her face that was veiled in strands of black.

"Lil' Bro Bro," she muttered, reaching her arm to his head and rubbing his short hair around. "Fuzzzzz."

Aang recalled when Sokka had been under the influence of that strange plant juice he liked. It was as if Toph was...oh, right. Bottle. Funny-smelling stuff. Wonderful. Well, that explained it, at least. His thoughts were jarred when Toph's stubby hand groped at his face, then pinched his nostrils closed.

"Haaaa," Toph gasped, finding this to be entirely hilarious. Aang irritably plucked her fingers from his nose and sighed at her depleted inhibition.  
You _did_ tell her to forget about all of her problems, Aang. Good job. Maybe this whole 'advice' thing is a bad idea 'cuz every time you give this girl advice she ends up doing something stupid.

"Aang? Toph?"  
Oh, it's Katara. Maybe she'll know what to do!

"K-Katara! Hi!" Aang was off guard in his greeting, giving Toph space to hunch over him, arm latched around his shoulder. She punched in the rib and he groaned, giving Katara a grouchy look that read 'help me, please.'

"How's everything going?" Katara bid them, setting her newly purchased basket of vegetables on the ground before them, wiping sweat from her forehead.

"Ahhh. SugarFuss!" Toph pushed herself off of Aang and marched forth, tripping over the wicker basket and smashing her face into the space between Katara's feet. Katara flinched at the sight and immediately knelt down, scooping Toph up and planting her back on wavering feet.

"Are you all right, Toph?" she demanded, suddenly concerned.

"Pfff!" Toph burst out, chuckling as she pointed a finger inaccurately in Katara's general direction. " _Your face_ izall right!"

Katara's eyes darted to Aang, eagerly seeking an explanation. He shrugged and shook his head.

"I think maybe she's been drinking some of Sokka's funny juice," Aang theorized.

"Ohhhh no," Katara bemoaned, rubbing her forehead, one hand still clutching Toph's shoulder to keep the girl balanced. Her face deepened with thought for a moment before she frowned, rising to her feet.

"Whatcher sad 'bout, Sis?" Toph's slurred speech inquired, oddly solemn.

"It's nothing for you to worry about," Katara sweetly assured with a pat on the head. "You stay here with Aang, I'll be right back, OK?"

"Aangy," Toph chortled, covering her mouth as if it were about to burst.  
Come on, Katara, _please_ don't leave me with her, she's creeping me out.

"Um. Yes," Katara muttered awkwardly with a lifted eyebrow, at a loss as to what to make of Toph. _"Aangy,"_ Katara echoed with a grin, staring at him empathetically. "I'm going to go figure out what's going on, you just keep an eye on her, OK?"

_Ugh,_ I really don't wanna...  
"All right."

Toph stretched, yawned, and fell back on her bottom, rubbing her eyes.

"I'll be right back," Katara called, briskly entering the house.

"Owie," Toph growled, hunched over. Aang shuffled around and sat in front of her. Her left eye was squinted shut, her right hand squeezing her forehead. "Hurtz," she spewed lazily. Her words were drizzling out of her mouth like molasses.

"Um, I'm sorry," Aang mumbled, slapping her gently on the knee. She twitched at first, likely because she didn't feel it coming, but relaxed afterward. Her other arm dragged itself around her waist and she whimpered, rocking back and forth. Aang was at a loss as to what to do with her, and vowed right then and there that he would never drink cactus juice. Ever.

"Mm stoopid," Toph grumbled to herself, slapping her own face. "'Sall stoopid."

If anything, this was making it quite clear to him that his earthbending teacher was in fact just a scared little girl, angry and hurt and confused - just as he had been mere weeks before. Aang often distanced himself from Toph, intimidated by her attitude and the way she would demean him. He had grown to realize that much of this was for show, and moments like this solidified the idea into reality: she was lost. And he felt helpless in the face of it, for every time he tried to help he'd just mess it up and cause...well, _this._ This was his fault. He'd convinced her to try making a move, he'd told her to ignore her worries and take her mind off things. He wanted to assure himself that his backup plan had been helping all this time, but right now she was a drunken, rejected dirty pile of a girl.

Wait...Like, literally. She was surrounded by dirt. Sinking. Why was she sinking? Before Aang had realized what was going on, she had disappeared into the ground, the earth sealing itself up behind her.

"Forgetting time," he could hear her sing out from beneath the ground.

"Wh-? Toph! Where are you-?"

Aang panicked, bending the dirt apart to search for her. He could hear the earth below him rumble as Toph passed through it. As he dug, shoving his arms around to create a tunnel, the sound faded, the vibrations vanished. She had disappeared underground. Toph had just run away.


	25. Understand

"Tea cures all the world's ills, Child."

Her head was throbbing, her sense of orientation completely gone. Was she sitting? Lying down? Was her stomach inside her body or outside?

"Augh...Does it-?"  
Damn, head hurts so bad.  
"Does it cure...stupidity?"

"Wahaha!" the man's voice bellowed with a _slap-slap._ "If only wisdom could be granted so easily, I would _give_ my tea away!"

A weak laugh managed its way from her mouth, hand grasping her stomach. She felt as if she had puked out all of her guts minutes earlier. Maybe her brain, too. That would explain a lot.

"I feel awful, Uncle Iroh," came the irritable groan as she bumped her head into what seemed to be a pillow. "How did I end up here?"

"If only I knew," Iroh chuckled. "I was inside serving my customers - you came from the back entrance."

"Give me tea or give me death!" impersonated a girl's voice from across the room. It sounded like that girl that worked at the tea shop. What was her name again...?

"I _said_ that?" Toph groaned, embarrassed with herself. She had absolutely no recollection.

"Yup," the girl replied, obviously amused. "And than you fell face-first onto the floor." Some laughs at Toph's expense - not unwarranted, either.

"Ugh, I'm such an idiot..."

"What possessed you to drink such a beverage that would make you so ill?" Iroh wondered with some hint of concern.

"I needed to take my mind off of...stuff," Toph grumbled, taking a deep breath as she tried to relax herself. She let her body go limp and loose, inhaling and exhaling as calmly as she could.

_eeeeEeEeEeEEEEEE..._

The whistle of a teapot eased her mind as the thought of hot liquid running down her throat tickled her soul.

_Tippa tippa tippa._ The girl scurried off to the source of the sound as Iroh hummed to himself.

"I would think any niece of mine would know better than to drink anything that _isn't_ tea," he mused, _scruffa_ -ing at his beard.

"Knowing better hasn't been my strong point lately," Toph sighed, her heavy eyelids sliding closed.

"You are like a leaf in the wind," Iroh decided. "being blown about, feeling as though where you will land is out of your control."

"I already landed," Toph corrected, "and then I got trampled on."

_Glllluuuup._ Water into a cup. She couldn't wait, as she was incredibly thirsty.

"I think I might have burned something that can't be healed," she added with scorn, recollecting what the man had warned her about days before.

"Ah." Iroh was silent until the other girl _tippa_ 'd her way in carefully. _Kloksh._ The mug was set down to her right, while Uncle Iroh's voice came from her left. "Thank you, Jin. Did you put the medicine in?"

"I sure did, Mr. Iroh."

"Thanks," Toph mumbled half-heartedly. This wasn't tea, then, was it? Not the kind of tea she wanted.

"Is there still hot water?" Iroh questioned.

"Um...Yea, I think."

"Could you make our guest some Lemon Balm as well, please?"  
Oh, _yes._ Thank you. Read my mind.

"With _just_ a touch of mint, right?" Jin knowingly acknowledged.

"Haha, exactly."

"Thank you," Toph whimpered out to the fading _tippa tippa._

"You're welcome, Toph," sang Jin from a room away. Based on the acoustics, this wasn't the Jasmine Dragon. It must have been Uncle Iroh's house. Why was Jin here?

"Now, then, my Child. Drink."

Ulgh. Don't wanna. Bleck.  
But you should, it'll help you feel better.  
Yea, yea...

With a grouchy grunt, Toph sat up, head still pounding, and slowly reached to her right. Her fingers brushed the wooden floor - no wonder she could hardly sense where anything was - and eventually found their way to a ceramic mug. With care, she hoisted it in both of her grubby hands and tilted it to her parched lips. She braced for an unpleasant taste, and that was exactly what she received. Maintaining her cool, she managed to drink it down, sip by sip, with only a cough or two after each large gulp. She wiped her mouth as she set the mug down, thankful to be done with it.

"That will help ease your body," Iroh explained. "It is like a boat lost in a storm - that medicine will still the waters."  
Pff. Not _all_ of them, Uncle...

"Here," Jin offered from Toph's side. Toph stuck out her palms and received the new, freshly hot mug.

"Thanks." That word was becoming surprisingly easy for Toph to hand out.

"You're welcome," Jin beamed with a light pat on Toph's head.

_Scffa, tippa tippa._

"So, you told your Water Tribe friend about your feelings for him?" Iroh guessed - though Toph felt it wasn't a guess at all.

Toph hummed hesitantly and nodded her head, sniffing the savory vapors from her tea.

"He does not reciprocate," Iroh stated as a fact.

"Nope."

"I can see it in your face, Child - you feel like a warrior who has lost a battle. You think you are disgraced, weak, defeated."

"Hmph." She snorted and sucked on her mug, the water not so hot as to burn her mouth. She decided to gulp it down fairly quickly.

"Love _is_ like a battle," Iroh continued. "Some times you lose." He sighed deeply, a strange pause interrupting his thought. The kind of pause that made it clear he was speaking from experience. "But, eventually, you find a new cause to fight for." __  
Again with this whole 'waiting' bullcrap. Not that she had a choice anymore.  
"But there is no disgrace in losing, Child. You had the bravery to fight in the first place. This is noble - so long as you don't dwell on the battlefield too long. There is a point where you must retreat before you are killed. Losing a battle and falling are two different matters."

Toph's tea was already gone. Now her belly was all sloshy and full.

_Sometimes a tactful retreat is the path to victory,_ Sokka had said in that funny way of his, many days ago.

Toph suddenly wondered how much time had passed since she had swiped Sokka's bottle. Hours? An entire night? A day? She had no idea, but then again, she was in no rush to return, either.

"Mr. Iroh?"

"Yes, Jin?"

"Would you mind if... _I_ spoke with Toph for a bit?"

"Certainly," Iroh agreed with a grunt, his weight vibrating the wood beneath them. His _tud tud_ footsteps drew near and he planted a consoling, strong hand on Toph's shoulder, taking the empty tea mug from her.

"There are many wonderful things you have going for you, you know," Iroh pointed out, slapping his hand gently. "And four of the most important ones are waiting for you back home. And they love you very much."

_Tud. Tud. Tud.  
Tippa tippa tippa. _

"Hey," Jin greeted simply, a faint layer of formality removed from her tone as she sat no more than a few feet ahead. "I know it's hard, Toph. Believe me."

"Why?" Toph wondered plainly. She wanted to feel understood, she wanted advice from someone closer to her age who could perhaps relate things to her in a less...'wise' way.

"Because it happened to me, too."

"With...Zuko?"

"Hee. Yea, how'd you know?" Jin wasn't embarrassed by it at all. It sounded as if she found it funny somehow.

Toph shrugged, rubbing her head.  
Damnit all, so dizzy...

"I could just...tell," Toph thoughtfully muttered, flopping onto her back, loose hair flailed out across the pillow she'd been resting on.

"When he first showed up here with his uncle, I started coming to their old shop every day. I thought Zuko - or 'Lee,' as he said his name was - was really cute, and sweet...in his own way. I could just _tell_ that he was dealing with a lot. Of course, I had no _idea_ just how much it was, but...Anyway, he was mysterious, and lonely, and even though his face was scarred, and he was grouchy all the time, I just...I don't know." She sighed in spite of her memories and snickered at herself. "Whenever I got my tea I would always wait to drink it until I saw his face. It took a while but I finally had the guts to ask him out on a date..." She paused, containing a laugh. "Well, I asked _Iroh_ if he could go on a date." The laugh broke free.

"Haha, for real?"

"Yea. I know, really pathetic, right?"

"Pff, yea, kinda," Toph agreed with a grin, resting her hands on her still queasy stomach.

"But, so...We went out on a date..."

"You and Zuko, huh?"

"Me and Zuko."

"And then you realized you were wrong about him?"

The response was thoughtfully delayed.

"Wh-? Well, no. I was totally _right._ He was awkward and mysterious and brooding and...still kind of sweet underneath. I felt for him."

"How come?"

"I don't know, probably because I know what's it like to be that way. To be awkward and angry at the world, and have no idea how to properly talk to people. Some times I wonder if I'm _still_ like that," Jin muttered with a hint of melancholy. "But, well...It was nice, and...I wanted to see what would happen, so I kissed him. And he pushed me away." The words felt like a needle poking at the still fresh wound in Toph's chest, but she held back her emotions. Jin came across as so nonchalant about it, like it was no big deal or something. It pissed Toph off in a way.

"And I realized that...he already had someone," Jin thoughtfully explained. "In his heart, he was already with someone else, even if they weren't here in Ba Sing Se. And that...Well, it _hurt._ But I got over it. You _have_ to or else it's just going to keep eating at you."

"Why are you telling me this?" Toph grunted, tempted to roll over and ignore her. Getting things rubbed in her face was unpleasant.

"I think you _know why,_ Toph," Jin replied with a laugh, clearly not receptive to Toph's hostility.

Toph groaned out an exaggerated sigh. This girl wasn't going to take her crap, but wasn't actively upset with her, either. Maybe that was what she needed right now.

"When Zuko showed up in Ba Sing Se again, as the _Fire Lord,_ I was just a little surprised. All that time I'd been crushing on a _Prince._ But by then I had gotten over it, I'd found a job working at the Jasmine Dragon, and when Zuko showed up to pay respects to his Uncle...well, he was nervous at first when he saw me."

"Yeeaaaa, that would be a pretty awkward way to meet, the...kissing...and stuff."

"It _was_ really awkward. I had no idea why he even stopped to talk with me, but...he did. We talked for...gosh, all evening."

"Wow, Zuko having a heart-to-heart with someone? Sounds weird to me." Toph grinned.

"Oh, it was weird. He can be _so_ weird sometimes. Like, he doesn't know what to say without being uncomfortable about it some times. But I could tell he had really changed a lot since I had last seen him. He told me that..." She paused, shuffling her position. "Told me that he wanted us to be friends. That I had cared about him when I thought he was just some stranger, that his being a prince had nothing to do with how I acted. He said he appreciated that and that even though he was already with someone, he wanted us to be friends."

"Hmph." Toph rubbed her stomach gently, considering such a circumstance.

"Even though I don't... _like_ Zuko anymore, I still really care about him. We share some common ground. And I feel so bad for everything he has to fix, but I admire his determination."

"Yea," Toph agreed quietly, reflecting on the rough road that was no-doubt ahead of that poor boy.

_Skoofff._ "So, I know you're feeling rotten right now, Toph," her voice was closer now, "But...You have a family that's looking out for you, including a very wise uncle. And now I am, too."

Toph's face quivered from all of the stress that was now flooding her mind. Now it had to be all confused by this strange girl wanting to be friends with her. For no apparent reason.

"Why?" she asked, turning her face to the direction of Jin's voice.

"We can all use all the friends we can get, right?"

Someone who hardly knows anything about you, offering you friendship. You were _just_ talking about how you've been being stupid lately. You're not gonna keep doing that, right?  
No.

"OK."

"All right, then," Jin concluded. "Friends."

Oddly, Toph was not startled by the dry, rough hand that patted her wrists tenderly. The stroke of sympathy from this relative stranger seemed like just what she needed in that exact moment.

"So what should I do, Jin? How can I make things... _not_ awkward?"

"Well, the first thing you have to do, Toph, is decide what it is you want."

"Huh?"

"What do you _want_ from all of this?"

"Er...I _want_ Sokka to like me back..."

"No, no." Jin giggled. "What do you want that you could actually work toward?"

"I could...work toward that."

"Haha, Toph, you're...kind of going backward."

"Oh. Sorry."  
Well, what the hell, then? I don't get what you're saying.

"You have to accept what's already happened and decide what you want to make from it. It's like...I dunno. You feel like your heart is broken, right?"

Toph chose not to respond out loud but the answer inside was a resounding 'yes,' which she rather hated.

"So you need to figure out what you want to build the broken pieces back into."

"Wouldn't I just...build them back into what they were before?"

"Seeeeee..." Jin began, clicking her tongue. " _That's_ what you haven't realized yet, Toph. Your heart's been broken, but _because_ it's broken, you can take the pieces and build something _new_ from it."  
Something new?

"You're confused. You're angry - at yourself. I was the same way when I was your age. And right now you don't know what to do with yourself. _Now_ is the time to decide who you want to be and take those broken pieces and build that someone. Sometimes we need to be broken down before we can build something new of ourselves because...well...-"

"'Cuz we get too stubborn," Toph grumbled, the tides of acknowledgment washing over her. She recalled her friends talking about this idea a while back and it not entirely being clear to her what they had meant. Now, she felt it did.

"Exactly!"

"I think I understand now, Jin..."

"I'm glad."

Toph let out a 'hrm' as she contemplated her friends back home, no-doubt wondering where she was.

"I should probably...get back home."

"It's already late at night," Jin insisted. "They already know you're here."

"Wh-? They _do?_ "

"Of course." Jin laughed through her nose and tapped Toph on the shoulder. "Your friend Aang told me that the Jasmine Dragon was the first place they thought to look."

"Well...Why aren't they here, then?" Toph wondered, her stomach lurching a bit.

"Iroh told them that you had probably run away from home because you needed some time to sort yourself out. We promised them we'd take care of you and send you back home tomorrow."  
And they were OK with that?

"All right," Toph replied to Jin's explanation in a mumble, finding it sufficient. She appreciated the fact that they had let her be, now that she considered it. But then again, maybe they were mad at her...

Haha.  
What?  
You're actually worried about them being mad at you.  
... _So?  
_ You don't want to make them upset.  
Um, duh? Why would I?  
Getting them irritated didn't used to bother you so much before. Sometimes you'd do it on purpose.  
Oh...Guess that _is_ a good point.  
See? You've already been rebuilding some of your broken pieces these days.  
Maybe I have...

"Maybe you should get to sleep," Jin suggested with a giggle.

"Hm?" Toph opened her eyes and directed her face to the voice. Oh, wait. Her eyes had been closed. And keeping them open was becoming quite a chore - like there was even a point, anyway. She had a feeling this had something to do with that yucky stuff they had her drink a few minutes ago.

A hand was pressed against her back, and she was leaning into it. She could sense her body tilting over, laying down, feather-filled pillow under her head.

"Good night, Toph."

"Mrm."

Who do you want to be, Toph Bei Fong?  
I'm not a Bei Fong anymore.  
Oh, right. Of course. You want to be someone else now.  
I want to be strong and tough but not just outside, _inside._ I want to...I want to feel people around me. Not just where they are, I want to feel _them.  
_ That means you're going to have to start letting people inside more.  
I know, I know.  
 _Do_ you know? Are you actually going to do it?  
Yes. OK? I promise.

* * *

"Whew. OK. I think...I think we've got it down, finally." Jin grinned at her music partner who sighed and nodded.

"Yea. That sounded all right," he agreed.

"I thought it was good," came Toph's voice from the next room over. She stumbled in with a yawn, arms stretched out. She leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms over her chest. "I didn't know you could sing, Zuko."

"Oh, w-well, I...had some training when I was a kid, but..." he was a bit flustered by her compliment. Jin wondered if perhaps he was afraid of getting hit in the royal jewels again, given that it had been the last interaction the two had shared.

"So why are you still here?" Toph wondered. "I thought you had business to take care of back home?"

"I did," Zuko answered. "Turns out, part of that business entailed coming to Ba Sing Se to establish negotiations with the King."

"Oh. Sooo...you went to the Fire Nation and came right back?"

"More or less."

"Pff." Toph shook her head, tangles of black hair matted against her face. "So what does playing bongo drums have to do with negotiations?"

Zuko set his drums aside and gave Jin a smile.

"My Uncle thought it would be a good idea if I took some time to get to know the people of this city, so this afternoon I'm going out with the King to show the people of the Earth Kingdom who I really am."

"I'd thought it'd be cool if Zuko and I played at the Jasmine Dragon afterward, try and draw some new customers in. Celebrity power!"

"Sooo...Basically, you're using him to make a profit," Toph teased.

"Kind of?" Jin smacked Zuko on the back and gave him a joking wink. "Nah, I just wanted to play some music. And besides, we both want to express our thanks to Iroh. Getting him some more customers and playing him some music seemed like a good idea."

"Yea," Zuko murmured with a smirk, patting his drum affectionately.

"So...What, are you like, dedicating that song you just played to Uncle Iroh?" Toph wondered.

"No, we have another song," Zuko explained.

"Oh. Um..." She bobbed her head, her eyes covered by her messy bangs. "Do you think...maybe you could dedicate that song to someone for _me_?" The words shyly found their way out.

Jin felt her heart warm up with joy at Toph's request.

"Of course we can, Hun."

"Why _that_ song?" Zuko wondered. "Not to be rude, but...-"

"I know," Toph chuckled. "The light you sang about? No, it's OK. I think I...know what it _feels_ like."  
Thatta girl, Toph. That's the way.

Pleased with Toph's attitude, Jin strummed a chord on her instrument and asked a question she already knew the answer to.

"So...Who do want us to dedicate the song to?"


	26. Promise

_Blubbleglubbub...  
Tricklickickle..._

The creek's rippling sounds soothed Toph's mind. She found herself reflecting on the words Katara had bestowed upon her back at the South Pole. She pinned those words to her heart like a badge of honor.

_You remind me that there are some things that define us, things we should never let anyone change. Even when people hurt you for being who you are, you don't ever let them change you from being true to yourself. Strength...Fortitude...Self-Respect..._

Has myself been preventing _myself_ from being true to...myself? Ouch. Think I burned my brain.  
Yea...Don't try so hard there, Honey. Don't wanna hurt yourself.  
This whole 'thinking deep' stuff is harder than I thought. How does Aang do it?  
Well, he gets some help. Being the Avatar doesn't hurt, either.  
Haha, yea, no kidding.

Toph wiggled her ankle over the edge of the creek bed, appreciating the _clacklekattat_ of the bone anklet wrapped around it. She remembered how she had carelessly thrown away the gift Katara had made for her, and she yearned to have it back. Then she would feel complete - something from each of them.

Do you love them?  
Yes. I do.  
How do you know?  
Because I want them to be happy.  
And?  
And I'd do whatever I had to to make them happy.

Toph seriously considered this idea she had just decided was truth. Whatever she had to do...That could be a lot. It could mean losing things she cared about.

Do you love _yourself?_  
I'm...I don't know.  
You don't know?  
I _thought_ I did. But now I'm not so sure.  
Yea. You used to think you were such hot stuff, didn't ya?  
I _am_ hot stuff. I'm the world's greatest earth bender.  
Hm. Maybe. But does that make you happy?  
Not...really. No.  
If you love yourself, you'd want to make yourself happy, too.  
But do I deserve to be happy?  
 _Everyone_ who loves themselves deserves to be happy.  
I dunno...that sounds pretty stupid. Lord Ozai deserves to be happy?  
Ozai didn't love himself. He didn't really love _anyone._ Not even his own children.  
Oh. Right. Guess that makes sense.  
In order to truly love yourself you must be capable of love in the first place.  
Yea...

"Toph?"

Looks like it's time for you to practice being this person you want to be.  
OK. I'll give it a try.

"Hey, Toph," the voice called again. "Yoohoo, anybody there?"

"Yea, I'm fine, Meatheh-! Um, I mean...I'm all right, Sokka."

"Ah. Thats...that's good." _Thip thip thip. Pwomph._ "So, uhhh, whatcha doin' out here?"

"Nothin'. Just thinking."  
Please don't be awkward. _Please._

"Cool. Yea. Thinking. Gooooood stuff. Am I right?"  
Ugh. Well, at least he's _trying_.

"Yea. Good stuff?"

"OK. Well, uh...I'll leave you alone now."  
Already? You don't have to go right this second, I'm fine.

"Where are you going, Sokka?"

Toph's question was answered with a baffling array of fluttering statements strung together like random pieces on a shishkabob.

"Oh, ya know...here and there. To and fro. Hither and tither. Up and around. High and low. Inside and out. Near and far. Far and wide."

"I _meant,_ what are you _doing?_ " Toph burst out, cutting off his tirade of nonsense. A wide grin was all over her face and she knew that this had been his intention.

"Ohhhh," he sarcastically realized. "I'm just picking up some spices 'cuz we're sorely lacking in some important things."

"Oh." Toph nodded slowly, pushing herself onto her feet. She tugged on her hair, making sure the ponytail Jin had tied it into was still in tact. "Um...You want me to come with you?"

"Sure," Sokka immediately replied in a 'I wasn't expecting that but that's awesome' way.

Toph took a deep, shaky breath as she paced to his side, hands latched behind her back.

"What do you need more spices for?" she wondered, eager to swiftly divert the conversation away from anything awkward.

You're not ready to talk about everything, are you?  
No. Totally not.  
But you _are_ going to eventually, right?  
Of course. Soon. I promise.  
Good girl.

"Oh, ya know," Sokka murmured, each _thip_ he made a bit bouncier than normal. "A chef has to have the right tools to work with. An earthbender needs rocks, a chef needs ingredients."

"Right," Toph acknowledged. She was quickly slipping into that state of comfort that Sokka always brought her into. "So what are you trying to cook?"

"I want to experiment with some chicken," he explained, enthusiasm ringing out clearly. "Try something I haven't before. Variety is the spice of life."

"Variety, huh? What's _that_ taste like? Is it spicy? Maybe lemony? Gonna put that on your chicken?"

"Ha-ha," came Sokka's dull laugh as he lightly smacked the back of Toph's head. It was gentler than usual, but she was OK with that.

"Hey, there he is!" cried out the voice of a stranger - a stranger to Toph, at least. "Sokka of the Water Tribe! How are you doing?"

"Hiya there, Mr. Sasho. What's going on?"

Based on his steps, Mr. Sasho was a skinny gentleman. Not too old, but definitely a lightweight.

"Ya know, my son was just telling me about a sword dueling contest that's coming up soon, and I thought to myself, 'Hakoda's boy should enter!' I've heard you've grown into quite the swordsman. Pupil under Piandao himself!"

"Haha, yea, I mean..." Sokka was flattered by the man's remark, Toph could tell. "Yea," he repeated, at a loss of how to respond to the compliment. "That sounds like it could be a good time, maybe I'll look into it."

"Definitely do that," Mr. Sasho advised, his voice fading away into the street crowd. "I know my son would love to square off with you some time!"

"Totally!" Sokka called back. "Huh," he muttered, _skitch_ -ing at his fuzzy facial hair. "That'd be great." They proceeded on their quest for spices and Sokka considered the idea to himself. "But Steelface isn't really built for combat. I'd need a new sword."

"Steelface just won't _cut it,_ eh?"

"Man, Toph, I think that cactus juice you drank must've broken your joke-maker."

"Hey, shut up."

I oughtta punch him.  
But you aren't going to punch him, are you?  
Nah. Not right now.

Toph was a bit worried that the subject of cactus juice would lead to some kind of scolding or reprimand for her stealing it and consuming it, but none came. Sokka just kept rolling forward, much to Toph's relief.

"Ya know, jokes are a lot like cooking."

"What?"

"Yea. I mean, think about it: you have to make something good with the ingredients you're given. For example," he slapped her on the shoulder with the back of his wrist, "I've come up with so _many_ wonderful recipes using the common ingredient of your lack of intelligence."

How about now? Can I punch him now?  
OK. Yea. He has it coming at this rate.

_Whump.  
_ "Hahaaaa." _Skff skff._ He rubbed at his shoulder. __  


Toph made a suggestion with an appreciative smile, knocking her wrist on her forehead.

"Maybe we should make a pie out of my lack of intelligence and your lack of _manliness_."

"Yea, it'd be a rhubarb pie," Sokka concluded with nonchalant confidence.

"Pssh! Oh, really?"

"Of course. Why, what were _you_ thinking?"

"For some reason I was thinking of...like... _chicken_ pie." She had intended for this to be another crack at his cowardice but it ended up having quite a different effect.

"OH. _MY. **GOODNESS.**_ " Sokka's voice had exploded like a barrel of gunpowder. "Toph, you're a _genius!_ "

"Uhhh..."

" _Meat_ inside a _pie._ How have If never _thought_ of this before? I mean, I'm supposed to be the smart one in this group."

"It's not like I invented it or something, it's-"

"No words." He grasped at her shoulders tightly, forcing her to stop. "We must treasure this moment of discovery."

"Haha, ooookay, then." Toph sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, absorbing some seconds of playful silence. _Whap-whap!_ His hands rattled her shoulders and they were walking again.

"Lunch has been decided," Sokka announced.

* * *

The meal back home was a tasty chicken pot pie with some potatoes on the side. Toph had a sneaking suspicion the inclusion of potatoes had to do with them being her favorite food in the history of ever. She had been deliberately quiet throughout lunch but not so much as to imply that she was angry in any way as she had been intentionally acting merely a day before. The entire meal went by without anyone making any remarks as to her disappearance or her drunkenness or what had happened at the South Pole. In a way, it almost bothered Toph by the end of the meal. As everyone scurried around the house, tidying things up, washing out plates, and the like, Toph sat at the table, stroking Momo's back, the creature curled in her lap.

It's bothering you, isn't it?  
Yea. A lot.  
You just want to have it all out.  
I do.  
They're giving you what you said you wanted, you know.  
Huh?  
They're ignoring the problem - leaving you alone. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?  
Yea. But not anymore. It's annoying now. Like we're all...pretending.  
Running away from the problem.  
Exactly!  
Isn't that what you've always done, Toph?  
What are you talking about?  
The Runaway. Isn't that you? Always running away.  
...Yea. That's...kind of been me. I guess.  
Run from your parents. Run from your friends. Run from your feelings.  
OK, OK. I get it. But I'm sick of running.  
I know you are. So what are you going to _do_ about it?  
I'm going to stop. No more running. I'm gonna stand my ground.  
Promise?  
I promise.

"You OK?" Katara quietly asked amidst the rush of cleaning.

"Oh. Yea. Fine."

"Good to hear."

"Um...Actually..."

"Hm?"

"Do you think we could maybe...I dunno, like, go for a walk, or something?"

"Y-yea! That's...That'd be great!" Katara's voice sounded as if Toph was removing a weight from her shoulders by asking the question. "As soon as we're done cleaning, OK?"

"Yea."

_Fliff-fliff-fliff-fliff._   
_"Raaawwwwk."_

" _Hawky!_ " Sokka squealed with delight.

_Rumff!_   
_"Awwwwk!"_

"Oh, I missed you, _too,_ Buddy! Didja bring mail back for me, pal?

_"Caaw..."_ the crushed bird coughed out.

_Fip. Sfff. Wahpple._

"Uh-huh. Mm-hm. Ahhhh."

"What's it say?" Aang demanded with childish wonder.

"It's an invitation to a...Er...A tea party?"

"Huh? A tea party?" Aang's excitement withered.

"It's a concert, Sokka," Suki explained. "At the Jasmine Dragon."

"Right. A party. With tea," reiterated the silly boy.

"Wait, a concert? With music?" Aang checked.

"Music _does_ tend to be the main feature of a concert, Aang," Toph pointed out his lack of sense with a devilish grin.

"Who's playing?" Katara asked in earnest curiosity.

"Looks like...Lord Zuko," Sokka muttered, as if he had to re-read it to make sure what he was saying was correct. "Lord Zuko and Lady Jin, it says."

"Jin works at the shop," Toph explained, eager to illustrate her familiarity with the girl. "She plays guitar. Zuko plays drums."

"Zuko plays _drums?_ " Aang was obviously impressed and taken aback.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Sokka scoffed.

" _I_ believe it and I _can't_ see it," Toph pointed out with a smirk. "But I guess that's 'cuz you _listen_ to music. Seriously, are none of you guys aware of what a concert _is_ or something?"

"It's tomorrow evening," Suki announced. "We should all go, and have some tea. Listen to their music, say hi to Zuko..."

"Yea, it's been a while," Katara agreed. "I hope he's doing OK."

"I'll bet he's doing great," Aang decided. "I think he's going to be just the leader the Fire Nation needs."

" _Drums?_ " Sokka murmured dubiously.

"All right, let's finish cleaning, everyone," Katara proclaimed with a _clap-clap!_

* * *

"So you and Sokka haven't talked about it at _all_ since it happened?" Katara said, huffing through her nostrils in disbelief.

"It's...my fault," Toph grumbled, her head bowed down. "I've been avoiding talking about it 'cuz I just needed some time."

"I understand," Katara assured, running her hand through Toph's greasy hair, combing dirt out of it with her fingers. "You know, it's very mature of you to admit that, Toph."

Don't patronize me, Katara. I'm not stupid.  
She's not _patronizing_ you. Geez. Cool down. She's complimenting you.  
Oh...Hm. Maybe she is.  
Of course she is. You really need to let this defense mechanism go. The 'trying to look tough' thing.  
But I _am_ tough!  
Yeeeeaaa...Like right there. Not helping.  
Bleck. This is hard.  
Indeed. It is. Now thank her.

"Thanks," Toph finally muttered with a humbled tone. This 'thanks' word was starting to feel natural. Toph shivered as a jolt of cold water splashed against her head. Her strands of hair all swayed and swerved as a bubble of water was bending its way around, cleansing her skull. When she adjusted to the temperature it became enticing and soothing, a liquid massage.

"So is that what you wanted to talk about?" Katara asked from behind.

"Um, kinda."

"What's goin' on, Little Sis?" Toph felt a flame light up in her heart at the title bestowed on her.

"So, like, the other day?"

"Yea?"

"When I threw your present? And...yelled at you...and hit you."

"And bit my ear?" Katara added with a snide tone.

"Heh," she squeaked shamefully. "Y-yea, that. I was just super angry and stuff. I'm sorry. _Really._ "  
Thatta girl. That's the way.

The sloshing of water was unsettling for a moment, the only sound in Toph's ears until the cold fluid was wiped away with a _sploooosh_ back into the trickling creek.

"I accept your apology," Katara said at last, her tone warm but rough, like a campfire.

Toph head was tickled some more as Katara carefully willed the water from her soaked strands, drying it instantly.

"I, uh..." Toph began, fidgeting her thumbs together impatiently. "I wanted you to know that...I'm glad you're around, Katara."

Katara's hands squeezed at her shoulders tenderly before moving to her hair and beginning to braid it into a single, thick braid like before.

"Hey, I'm glad you're around, too, Toph."

"I'm trying to change."

"I know. That's good. I'm proud of you. Just don't lose sight of who you really are. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. OK?"

"Right. Duh."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

In no time, Katara's work was done, and Toph was somehow overwhelmed, emotions welling up inside her.

"Here." Katara's fingers skipped around Toph's neck, wrapping her leather band around Toph's neck. The cool, smooth stone felt right at home between her collarbones. "There you are."

Aw, crap. There goes my face. All hot and everything.  
Hey, it's OK. Just let it go.  
But now I'm starting to cry...Urgh.  
Don't worry about it! Let it out. It's healthy.  
All right, OK, fine...

"Oh, Toph, Sweetie, what's wrong?" Katara cooed with a sympathetic giggle, gently nudging her friend to turn around and face her. Toph suddenly realized that these tears weren't the same as most of the ones she'd been shedding lately. She knew she was smiling. Her tears were of hope, of gratitude, of other things she couldn't define clearly but that were...good. Katara's hand dabbed at her face and Toph choked out a chuckle in spite of herself, letting her elder wipe at her eyes.

"I...I don't know where this is coming from," Toph confessed, her head shrinking into her shoulders. "I guess I just want you to know," she sniffed and sighed out peacefully, "that you're more of a mother than my mom ever was. You're the sister I never had. And I...-"

Say it. I know you can do it. It's what you're thinking.

"I love you, Katara."

There ya go. Doesn't that feel _right_?  
Yea. Actually, yea, it does.

"Oh, Toph," Katara laughed, pressing her knelt body into Toph's, arms clenching tight against the blind girl's back. "I love you, too."

The warmth that had swept across Toph's face flushed through her whole body and she hugged back with a peaceful sigh. This was what she had wanted from her parents all these years. Just this. And they couldn't even give her that. _These_ people did. She was theirs now. All of her independence, all of her running and trying to be strong on her own seemed to be for naught when faced with this sense of belonging.

She's always going to be there for you, Toph. Are you always going to be there for Katara?  
She's my sister. Of course I will. I promise.


	27. Easy

I can't take this. It's too awkward.  
Oh, stop being a baby. You're fine.  
No, I'm not! This is weird! I'm uncomfortable!  
What, are you scared?  
Pfff! _No._  
That's called denial.  
Whatever. I'm not scared. It's just...weird.  
And you acting strange doesn't make it any less weird.  
What should I do?  
This is a battle you've already lost. Admit defeat. Negotiate the terms of your loss.  
Gaaahhh...That stinks. I don't wanna.

"Toph. Are you listening to me?"

"Y-yea. I'm listening." What was she just talking about? Where did my head go?

"I'm not trying to be a jerk here, all right?"

"Yea...I know."

"But what you did...That wasn't OK."

"Mm-hm," Toph hummed submissively. It didn't feel pleasant but at this point it was a lot easier and lot less painful than fighting it - especially when she knew the girl was right.

"I understand why you did it. But I'm asking you, Toph: can I trust you?"

"Wh-? Can you...-? What do you mean, Suki?"

"I know you really care about Sokka. And he really cares about you - I know he does. _I_ really care about you. I want to trust that you won't try doing anything like this again. Can I do that?"

"Y-yea, Suki. Totally. I won't. I was...I don't know what I was thinking. You don't have to worry about _...that._ I'm sorry."

"OK, then." Suki took a deep breath, seeming to exhale her stress and her firm tone of voice. "I'm sorry, too."

" _You're_ sorry?"

"I am, Toph. I know how you must feel - like I swept in and stole all his attention. I never meant to do that. Believe me, falling for a...-"

"Complete _dork?_ "

Suki laughed at Toph's comment through her nose and sighed.

"Yes. A complete dork. That was never part of any plan I ever had. Sokka and I really didn't get along at _all_ when we first met."

"For real?"

" _Yea,_ " Suki replied, somewhat surprised by Toph's lack of knowledge. "We _hated_ each other. He kept treating me like a wimp just because I was a girl. I sure smacked that attitude out of him."

"Heh, the guy's surrounded by three girls who could all kick his butt in a heartbeat," Toph noted with a smirk. "He'd _better_ have that attitude out of his meaty head."

"No kidding. But really, Toph...I'm sorry things worked out this way, but...I love Sokka, and I think he loves me, too. We want to make this work. But I _know_ you will find someone out there for you, Toph."

"Yea, I guess," Toph grumbled, drumming her fingers in her lap.

Gettin' pretty sick of people tellin' me that.  
They're just trying to support you.  
I know.

"But I really _do_ care about you and I don't want a boy to come between us. So, can we be friends again?" Suki wondered, cutting to the chase.

"Suki," Toph muttered with a chuckle. "We never stopped. I just...acted like a jerk." She jutted her arm out into the air in the direction of Suki's voice and shook hard when she felt the lithe grip latch on. "If you're fine, then we're good."

"Well, I'm fine," Suki assured.

"Then...I guess we're good!"

Their handshake broke off and Toph dwelled on how quick and painless that had been. Suki really _was_ like her in some ways. Quick, blunt, no nonsense.

_I'm_ the one who mucked things up by acting stupid and jealous.  
Yup. That's about right.  
Even after everything I've done, it's like it's super easy for her to forgive me.  
Sure seems that way, doesn't it?  
Yea, and Katara was the same way...How is it so easy for them to just let go like that?  
Because they love you.

"So, Toph," Suki began, _clock-clock-clock,_ knocking on the kitchen table. "You're probably a little rusty on your earth bending, huh?"

"Pff. As if." Bleck, I kind of _am,_ actually. All this stress, and being stuck in the ice for a while...

"Haha, OK. Well, how about we do some sparring, anyway?"

"Are you serious? I'll kick your butt. I've got the entire _ground_ on my side."

"I guess I can't deny that, but...That's not the point of sparring, Toph."

"Right," Toph blurted out, feeling foolish. She remembered when she was fiercely training Aang to become a better earth bender. He'd get discouraged when he 'lost' the challenges she'd issued but he was a fast learner, always improving. Every loss was a small win.

"So you want me to take it _easy_ on you so you can practice some ninja magic? That it?"

Suki snickered, her footsteps wandering off across the house.

"Something like that," she replied. Toph could hear her gathering her equipment. By now the _clinks_ and _chackles_ of her suiting up were very familiar.

You never said it to her, did you?  
Huh? Said what?  
You _know._  
Oh. Right. _That._  
Don't you think now would be a good time?  
Sure. I guess. Well...Yea. _Yea._ Ya know, it would.

"Sooo...Suki," Toph called out across the house.

"Don't go _too_ easy on me," Suki advised, still stuck on the previous segment of conversation.

"Ohhh, I wouldn't worry about that," Toph warned, cocking her head to the side. "But hold up a sec."

"Oh, OK." Suki walked over, her armor practically silent now that it all in place. "What is it?"

"I've been meaning to tell you something." Toph sighed, crossing her arms over her stomach as if to contain the knot that was forming. "I never actually _said_ this to you but with all the thinkin' I've been doing lately...-" She trailed off and huffed, blowing bags from her face.

" _Wow,_ thinking, huh? Real thinking? I guess Sokka _is_ rubbing off on you."

"Yea, yea," Toph grumbled with a grin. "I set you up for that," she teased. "Don't get too full of yourself."

"I'd never," came a joking concession.

"Seriously, though," Toph continued, "I don't want you thinking that, like...I'm some heartless...idiot. Or something."

"Of course you're not," Suki agreed in earnest.

"Or thinking that I'm not thankful," Toph went on, her tone solemn. "You know. For...For the whole 'saving my life' thing." She drummed her fingers across her arms. "Twice," she added hastily.

"Oh," Suki whispered, humbled by Toph's gratitude.

"'Cuz I _am_ ," Toph verified. "Being alive...um, it's kinda nice. Ya know?" She laughed nervously.

"Being alive _does_ have its benefits," Suki acknowledged in a playful tone. "I definitely recommend it." They shared a giggle, and Toph was pleasantly surprised at Suki's ability to let the whole mess go and just laugh with her.

"I wouldn't be doing this 'living' thing still if it weren't for you," she insisted, maintaining her point. "Sokka wouldn't be, either," she admitted in a meeker tone.

That's right. She saved him when even _you_ couldn't.  
I know. She loves him. Maybe even more than _I_ do.  
Maybe. But that doesn't make your love any less important.  
Yea. I just need to...focus it in a different way, huh?  
Sounds like a plan.

"Hey, Toph," Suki grabbed her shoulder and squeezed. " _None_ of us would still be here if we didn't look out for each other."

Toph nodded, her mind clear, breath steady, heartbeat smooth. The emotional trauma she once experienced in merely approaching these issues wasn't present. Admitting that others had to help her was refreshing and relieving in this new state of mind, rather than shameful and embarrassing. It felt empowering. Like moving a mountain.

So, Toph: you gonna be honest with Suki from now on? She has your back.  
I was an idiot for even causing trouble with her in the first place. Yea, I'll be honest with her.  
You promise?  
Totally.

* * *

A merry melody of earth and stone played like strings on a harp in her fingers, a concert rising from the ground at her conducting. Sleek footsteps trailed around like a backbeat, accenting crescendos and harmonizing with the song. Toph played a mellow, therapeutic tune and eventually it ended with an expected tap on the shoulder.

"Not bad, Suki," she complimented, pushing the mounds of earth he'd manipulated back into place. "That was pretty fast."

"Thanks. That seemed like a cakewalk for you," Suki observed. Toph shrugged with pride and rubbed her nose with the back of her wrist sloppily. It had grown a bit chilly outside but there was no way it could've been night time yet if they had only eaten lunch a couple of hours prior. "It just blows my mind how much you can control all at once."

"It's a gift," Toph conceded with a falsely humble tone.

" _Really,_ it is," Suki insisted. "It's just...so amazing."

What's with her being so fascinated with my earth bending? It's weirding me out.  
Toph, you're a twelve year-old _blind_ girl who can bend _metal._ That is pretty impressive.  
Well, _obviously,_ but that's just because I'm so amazing.  
Ehhhh, you go telling yourself that.  
What's _that_ supposed to mean?  
You honestly think your earthbending is all _your_ doing?  
Wh-? Er...  
You think you met those badger moles when you were little by _accident_?  
I guess I never really thought about it.  
You think there's no one out there pulling some strings for you?  
Pff, what, like Spirits from the Spirit World and all that mumbo-jumbo?  
Is it really that hard to believe?

"Don't you think?"

"Huh?"

"It's really pretty amazing, everything you're able to do with your bending."

"Oh. Yea, yea. Right." What in the hell is going on in my head lately? Keep getting distracted.

"You all right, Toph?"

"Yea. Fine."

" _Squawkaw!"_ came Hawky's irritable cry from the direction of their house.

"I know! I know!" Sokka's distant voice growled. "I'm getting your food right now. Geez!"

"Hm. I'll bet Appa's getting pretty hungry, too," Aang's voice muttered from inside.

"So did you want to go again?" Suki asked, likely unable to detect the sounds Toph was hearing from afar.

"Nah, I'm good, Suki."

"OK."

_Tip tip tip tip tip._

"Oh, what's up, guys?" Lispy lisp. Haha.

"Just practicing," Suki replied, _sheeenk,_ sheathing one of her blades.

"Where are you going in such a rush?" Toph asked Aang, who was acting antsy.

"I've gotta go feed Appa."

"Can I come?"

"Y-yea," Aang agreed, somewhat confused. "Sure. Come on!"

"See ya later," Suki called off to the two as they jogged away.

"Where's Appa?" Toph wondered out loud, her breath quickening as they jogged off.

"I let him go get some space just outside of town," Aang informed, slowing down. "Here, get in front of me, we'll get there quicker."

Toph realized that perhaps Aang hadn't been anticipating company, so her presence was slowing him down.

Maybe I should just let him go by himself?  
You promised.  
Oh. Yea. Right.

"Mm-hm," Toph hummed in compliance to Aang's request, leaning her back into his bony chest and letting his lanky arms wrap around her waist.

"Grab my arms," Aang advised. Toph did as she was told, wondering what the he-  
 _FwofwofwoFwoFwoFWOFWO-  
_ The world around her was gone in an instant, a fuzzy mass tickling at her feet with rapid vibrations.

Ah. Air-ridey-thing.

"Hang on," Aang warned, squeezing her tight and tucking his chin on the top of her head. "We're gonna go pretty fast."

"Oh-Okaa _aayyeee!_ " Toph's stomach seemed to collide with her lungs and she squint her eyelids shut to lessen the stinging feeling that had started burning at them. Taking in air was suddenly difficult. Toph didn't appreciate this whole 'going fast' thing - not the way Aang did it. She recalled bending earth below her feet to propel herself along at a steady clip, and that was fun and all, but it was more for efficiency than pleasure. Must've had something to do with seeing the world whiz by?

She endured the rush of air, gasping out for breath as needed through the ordeal. Everything stopped as suddenly as it had started, and like a splash of water on her face, rolling hills met her feet.

"Whoa, that was...that was pretty fast," Toph choked out, hands still tight on Aang's arms.

"You can let go now," he chuckled, arms limp.

"Oh, right," she unlatched herself from the human cockpit and sucked in the aromas of grass and wildflowers through her nostrils. Moreso than she normally would, Toph was appreciating the delicate fragrances of-  
 ** _BOOOOM._** The collision almost toppled her.

**_"RRROOOOONNNN."_ **

"Hey, Buddy! How ya doin'?"

So much for those flowers. Whew. Man, Appa, we need to wash you up, Pal.

**Shhhhliiirp!**

"OK, OK! I know you're hungry but don't eat _me!_ "

"What are we getting him to eat?" Toph asked plainly.

"We'll need to get him some vegetables from the market," Aang decided. "He's had a really long trip and we need to feed him well, don't you think?"

"Yea, definitely."

Rough whisps of air passed through Appa's enormous nostrils and Toph knew this was her time to speak her peace.

"So, Aang," she began casually, setting herself on the ground. "Last night. Did I do anything too stupid?"

"Oh, uh..." Based on his quickened heartbeat, the answer was 'yes.'

"Sorry about that. Whatever it was," she chuckled. "I don't even remember..."

"Toph, _I'm_ sorry for giving you horrible advice."

"What do you mean?"

"Kissing Sokka, drinking that juice... _I_ told you to do that."

"Whoa, whoa, hey, slow down, there, Twin-...Aang." Toph cleared her throat. "You didn't tell me to do anything but...try to take care of myself."

Aang sighed, _scuff_ -ing his hand across Appa's head. Toph continued to establish her point.

"And you were _right,_ Aang. I was...being a hypocrite." She huffed at the hair dangling before her face. Her voice trembled a bit as the stresses of her own decisions washed over her. She confronted them head on. "You gave me good advice. You were trying to help me feel better and support me. I just made...stupid choices."

Good girl. Face your mistakes. That's the only way you can fix them.  
Yea. I understand that now.

"Kinda," Aang agreed with a weak laugh, as if he was holding back his true thoughts.

"Kinda a _lot,_ " Toph clarified, flashing a wide smile she hoped he saw. "I talked with Suki, though, and...we're good."

"What about Sokka?"

"Yeeeaa...I haven't talked with him about yet. But I will. Really soon."

"So you...You like him, huh?" Damnit, I don't need it rubbed in my face...Wait, no, you're _not_ rubbing it in my face.

"I...I do," Toph grumbled, face flushed with heat. "He doesn't like me back."

"Th-that's OK, though!" Aang hastily assured. "I-I mean, even if Katara didn't like _me,_ we'd still be friends."

"Yea," Toph muttered with a nod. "I know. I'm not going to lose Sokka just 'cuz of...-" She took a deep, slow breath.

I know it's difficult to admit it, Toph. But come on. You know it's true.  
Yea. _Yea._ That's...really all it is, isn't it?  
It _could_ be something more, but...that's not what Sokka wants.  
I have to respect that.  
Precisely. Call it like it is.

"Not gonna lose him because of some _crush_ ," Toph mumbled sheepishly.

"So you think you'll be able to get past it?"

"Yea."

"That's great, Toph. I'm glad you seem to be OK with that."

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, sooo...-"

"Have you tried meditating? Letting the Spirits guide you?"

"Er...Not _really_."

"Oh." Aang seemed a bit disappointed at that response.

Not really, huh?  
Nope. I'm not so sure how much of that applies to me.  
It sure seems important to Aang.  
He's the _Avatar,_ it's like, his _job_ to care about that stuff.  
Doesn't mean 'that stuff' can't care about _you.  
_ Uh, sure? OK...

"You, umm...I think you should," Aang advised.

Toph sighed, digging her finger into her nose with casual laziness and flicking a gob of snot into the grass.

"Meh. Maybe later."

"I just...really think it could help," Aang mumbled. "But...I guess it seems like you've been doing good on your own."

Damn straight. I'm working all of this stuff out.  
All on your own, huh?  
Er, well...Not _exactly._  
That's what I thought. Gotta get that thinking out of your head.

"It's not like I've been doing it by myself, Aang."

"OK. That's...that's good. I mean, like, speaking from experience...Trying to do everything by yourself? Just doesn't go so well."

"Even if you're the Avatar, huh?"

"Yea. Even if you're the Avatar."

"Ya know, Aang, it's...really nice. Don't you think?"

"What is?"

"This whole...I dunno..." Toph scratched an itch on the back of her ear. "Being part of the Water Tribe. Like, a new family. And stuff."

"Oh. Pff, yea. It's really great."

"Now that I'm actually thinking about it, it's really cool, feeling like you guys have got my back."

"Always. We always have your back."

"Yea, I know, I just... _didn't_ know before. Not _really._ "

"Toph," Aang huffed through his nose. "How come you care so much about looking tough, anyway?"

"W-well, ya know..." Toph sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Ever since I was little, everyone always treated me like I could never take care of myself. It was so _annoying,_ not being able to do stuff for myself _._ But the badger moles I met? None of that mattered to them 'cuz they were like me. And the more I learned about earth bending, the more I realized I _wasn't_ helpless, that I _could_ take care of myself, no matter what my parents thought."

Aang laughed.

"What's so funny?" Toph grumbled. What the hell, Aang? I'm trying to be sentimental here.

"Toph, when you're earth bending, you're not taking care of yourself."

"Huh?"

"You're having the earth help you. You're working together with the earth. Cooperating."

"Wh-? I...guess I don't think of it like that."

"Don't you think?"

"I-I don't know, it's not like the earth does much by itself, I don't see how it's helping me. I'm _using_ it."

"Kind of. But all of the elements live, Toph, in their own way. Fire burns, water flows, air blows...earth shifts. It just...takes a _lot_ longer. I guess earth is just more stubborn. Just like you. Hee."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"During all of our travels, I changed a lot, Katara changed, too. Zuko even changed. But you...it's taken you longer than everyone else to change, just like how earth takes longer to change."

Haha, geez. He's freakin' right.  
Indeed he is. Earth is solid and stubborn but it can change, just as you have.

"You're right, Aang," Toph admitted with a smirk. "But I _am_ changing a bit, right? In a good way?"

"Definitely. You're letting people help you more these days."

"I just don't want people helping me _too_ much. I can take care of myself."

"Just because you let others help you, that doesn't mean you're weak, Toph. It just means you're not alone."

Aang's lanky arm slung itself around her shoulder and she casually wormed hers around his back, scratching at it slowly.

"Yea," she calmly agreed.

"You just...needed a reason to change," Aang decided. "Katara and Sokka lost their mom, Zuko lost his uncle for a while...you lost your parents."

" _You_ lost your people."

"Yea...I did. But Toph, losing all of that stuff is what brought us all together. I'd like to think we're all better people because of that than we would have been."

"That we're better people 'cuz we're with each other, huh?"

"Right!"

"Yea...Maybe you're right."

" **Grrrrrooooouuunnnn?** "

"OK, Appa," Aang called. "Sorry, we'll leave in a minute, OK?"

Toph's other arm reached around Aang's chest and she flopped her head into his shoulder and grinned.

"I'm really glad you showed up at my house, Aang."

"Me, too, Toph."

"I can't think of what life would be life if you hadn't come. I'd probably still be trying to make myself feel better punching dudes in the face with boulders."

"That would probably still help you feel better, though."

"Psh, _yea,_ of course it would. But I'd still be with my parents...Ya know, the ones who aren't my parents anymore."

Aang slapped her back and held their embrace in tact.

"You're an amazing earth bender, Toph, and you taught me how to be strong like you. But earth bending, being strong, and tough? It isn't the reason we wanted you to stay with us. It's-"

"No, it's not," Toph interjected, insisting on cutting him off and saying it first. "I'm still here 'cuz you're my family now, 'cuz you're like my little brother, Aang. And I love you. Even if you _are_ a wimp some times."

Aang laughed and tightened his grip before letting her go.

"I love you, too, Toph. Even if you're a blockhead some times."

"That's good. 'Cuz I know I can be pretty stupid some times."

"Well, yea, but we can look past that."

"Hey! You're not supposed to _agree_ with me!"

"Why'd you say it, then?"

"... _'Cuz!_ "

"I dunno, Toph, Katara's right - you _are_ growing up 'cuz you're acting more like a girl. You don't make any sense some times."

"This 'growing up' stuff is _not_ easy. Man, if I knew it was gonna be this hard I woulda stalled it a while longer."

"Haha, yea, can we go backwards?"

"Ya know what _has_ been easy, though, Aang?"

"What?"

"Talking with you guys about...all of this stuff. I never thought it'd be this easy."

"Of _course_ it's easy. We're your friends - um, your _family._ "

"I'll keep that in mind from now on."

He's always going to be there for you, Toph. Are you always going to be there for Aang?  
He's my brother. Of course I will. I promise.


	28. Yah Toi

Paper lanterns bobbed and swayed from their tree branches in the warm breeze, lit by ethereal flames. The reflective pond around him rippled gently as he dug his toes into the soft soil beneath his feet.

"She doesn't know yet, does she?" Aang asked.

"No," replied the other, his nose twitching.

"But she is getting better, right?"

"Oh, much better. Indeed. I think she's about ready."

"You're going to let her fix things on her own?" Aang wondered, doubtful if this was the best approach.

From his lily pad a couple of feet away on the pond, the white-furred beast nodded his head sagely.

"She has to learn to deal with things like this through her own decisions. She must be able to control herself."

"Yea," Aang agreed, rubbing his hand thoughtfully across his shiny, bald head. "Well, if you think it's what's best for her, then...I guess we'll see how it goes."

"Toph is a broken girl, Aang," the long-eared creature explained. "She is learning to piece herself together, but she needs you and your friends or she will continue to be lost, just as she was before you showed up in her life."

"Right! I know," Aang quickly insisted, "W-we're here for her, I'll always be here for her, and I know my friends will, too. We're her family now."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good." The animal's pointed ears perked up slightly as he continued. "Soon my work will be done and it'll be up to her and her alone to make these decisions for herself."

"She'll do fine. I'm sure she will."

"I think you're right, Avatar Aang. We have many hopes for that girl and what she will do for the world as it rebuilds itself - we have similar hopes for the rest of you. If she has you and your family looking out for her, I'm sure she will turn out all right."

"Thanks for everything you've done for us, Yah Toi."

"You once helped me many years ago in another life. I'm just returning the favor in the small way that I can."

"It may seem small to you, but...it's a big deal to me - to us."

"I'm glad I could honor your request, Avatar Aang. But it seems your presence is being called for."

"Oh. Guess I'd better go, then."

"Farewell."

"See ya!"

Scritch! Scritch! Scritch!

Aang's short, fuzzy hair was soothing beneath her palms, but rubbing more fiercely didn't seem to be waking him up. It was still fun, though.

"Helloooooo," she called again. "C'mon, Aang, stop your mystic monk magic and come and eat dinner!"

"Haha, OK, OK!" he laughed out at last, his arms shooing hers away.

"There you are," Toph sighed out. "Geez, I've been sittin' here for like, five minutes trying to wake you up."

"Heh, I was meditating, Toph. I was kind of deep into it, I guess."

"What do you do when you're in the whole mumbo-jumbo state of mind, anyway?"

"I talk with the Spirit World," Aang explained in a sly tone. "It's very complicated stuff. I'm not sure you'd be able to handle it."

"Well, aren't you just fancy, then," Toph jeered, sticking her fist out over his head. She stomped, popping the ground beneath Aang up just enough to bonk her knuckle on his head as it reached her wrist before dropping him back down. He giggled, scuff-ed his head, and whirled around her in an instant with a tiptiptiptiptip before a gust of wind ripped across the lawn, tossing Toph's thick braid into her face. She spat hair out and carelessly chucked it behind her shoulder, running to the house's front steps and clambering inside to the enticing aromas of vegetable stew.

"Ohhh, man, smells so good," Sokka moaned, drool practically dripping off of each word.

"Of course it does," Toph declared, plopping herself into the only empty seat at the table. "I helped make it."

"Yea, she picked out the ingredients and helped me cook it," Katara explained.

Sokka snickered heartily and smacked his lips.

"Someone's tryin' to be a chef, eh?" He clearly found this amusing based on their previous conversation about cooking.

"How come we're eating so early?" Aang grumbled, still a bit groggy from his meditation, it seemed.

"We're going to the Jasmine Dragon together tonight, remember?" Suki reminded.

"Go ahead and eat, guys," Katara advised in a mumble. The clattering and slurping of dinnertime enveloped Toph in comfort as a warm bite of potatoes, celery, and onion journeyed down her throat. She swallowed a few huge bites and her stomach was filled with the sam optimism that was flowing through her brain.

"Drums," Sokka whispered to himself incredulously. "Sit-on-the-ground, smack-your-hand-on-skin drums...I'm having a hard time seein' it."

"You're gonna have a hard time hearing it, then," Toph informed with smug satisfaction before chowing down some more.

"I think it'll be nice to see Zuko relaxed enough where he could actually do something like play music," Katara pointed out.

"It's gonna be good to see him again," Aang merrily concluded.

"I gotta admit," muttered Sokka between bites. "It was nice having someone around who properly understood how to be pessimistic."

"Hey, he's gotten a lot better," Katara assured. "You're less of a downer than you used to be, too."

Toph patted her full stomach, the hollow sounds of a spoon against wood signaling that her food was gone.

"What? No way," Sokka disagreed with his sister. "I've got a...to keep...stayonryjsdwo...wodsaifdygu..."  
What the? What's going on?

Everything seemed to be slowing down, quieting, shifting away. Toph's head felt heavy, her arms like lead. Her face sagged down to the table, resting on her folded arms.

Whooooaaa. What...?  
It's all right. Don't worry.  
I just passed out. I think I should be worried.  
You're tired. Your body and mind have been worn out over the past few days.  
I was feeling just fine a minute ago...  
Well, yes. I admit, I may have nudged you off. A gentle push.  
Huh? What are you talking about?  
Toph, I've come to say farewell.  
Uhhh...  
I've been keeping watch over you for a while, and I think you're finally ready.  
Wh-? I don't...What's going on?  
You think you've been talking to yourself this whole time?  
Are you telling me you're not me?  
Haha! Of course not!  
But-! I-I thought you were, like...my conscience, or-or something!  
I suppose in a way I was.  
How come you were so mean some times?  
Because you're mean to yourself. I had to fit in or you might not have listened to me.  
Wh-? B-but...Who the hell are you then?  
My name is Yah Toi. I come from the Spirit World.  
Ohhhh, no. I'm going crazy now.  
As far as I can tell, you're perfectly sane, Toph, you've just been...a bit confused lately.  
Like right now.  
Well, yes, I suppose so.

It was strange. This...voice...it was different than her own. Somehow. It had totally been her own voice before. Right? It must have changed something. Had she been getting told off by some stupid ghost or something this whole time?

I know you're somewhat upset by this, Toph.  
Damned right, I am! What the hell? Who gave you the right to go in my head?  
You did.  
When did I do that?  
You let me in because you wanted guidance. You've had so much trouble listening to what others say...  
Yes, I know, OK? But I've gotten better!  
You most certainly have. But there were times when you needed some prodding to get you along your way.  
So you're my magical babysitter or some crap.  
Don't look at it like that.  
That's what it is.  
I had to act like I was you or else you wouldn't have listened to me.  
So you lied.  
Call it whatever you want, Toph. I've been here to help you. Do you deny that?  
...I guess...not.  
You've come such a long way in a short period of time. You see it, don't you?  
Yes. I do. I'm...sorry. I understand. I get it.  
What do you 'get?'  
Everything you were trying to tell me. About not trying so hard to look tough, to let my friends help me. To try and help them.  
You understand why these things are so valuable now, don't you?  
Yea, of course! I'm not stupid.  
I have faith that you are ready.  
Ready? For what?  
Looking out for yourself.

The voice was fading away now, growing quieter with each word.

Wh-whoa, wait! Yah...Yah-whatsit! Whoever you are! Wait!  
You don't need me anymore, Toph. You need them. You understand that now.  
I-I'm not sure I can do it without you!  
You can, Toph. I know you can. They know you can. You need to learn to believe in yourself.  
I-I do! I always do!  
You believe in your outside strength. But now you need to learn to believe in your inside strength.  
OK! Yea, I-I can learn!  
I know you can...Toph. But that-...Toph? -is not something-...Toph, you there? -that can be taught...

"Toph!"

"Grubblewhimma?" Mm. Drool. All over the table. And in my face. Awesome.

"Hey," Sokka's voice called, his hand pressed into her shoulder. As she regained consciousness, his heartbeat rang clear through his hand, shooting through her shoulder. It was a bit quickened. He was nervous.

"Mmm?" she managed to hum out, her neck not yet strong enough to lift her head up.

"You all right, there?" Paft paft, he gently tapped her back with her palm.

"Urgh," she huffed out. She pushed energy into her arms, out through her clumsy hands, willing arms to press her head up.

Come on, let's do this...Face. Off. Table!

The power to move slowly swept across her like a burning flame on paper, and her dazed head sagged over her chest as her body forced itself upright. Mind throbbing, mouth drizzled with drool, Toph grunted irritably.

I don't ever wanna go to the Spirit World again. I think I'm allergic. To Spirits. Or something.

She drearily wiped her sleeve across her face, then spread the gobs of saliva across her pant legs. With a huff, she tossed her bangs around, glad that they were dry, at least.

"You passed out there," Sokka observed. "Um, yea. That was kinda weird. You OK?"

"Fine," Toph grumbled, hand clamped around her forehead as her brain continued to heavily pulse against her skull.

"Aang said you were, like...meditating?"

"I was?" Duh. You were talking with a Spirit. From the Spirit World? See? I can put myself in my own place.

"Yea. You were not waking up. It was pretty amusing, actually." The way he said it made it seem like something disrespectful had happened while she had been out. Like they drew on her face. Or something.

"Amusing, huh?"

"Yup."

"What did you do?"

"Wh-? Nothin'!" Sokka burst out with forced innocence. "Seriously."

"What were you thinking of doing?"

"Heh, drawing on your face." Knew it.

"Where's everybody else?" Toph wondered, suddenly noticing the lack of noise in the house.

"Oh, well...I, uh..." Sokka sighed, griff, griff, ruffling his chin hairs. "I told everybody they should head out to the tea party."

"Concert."

"Yea, that."

A moment of awkward silence. They both knew what was about to happen.

"It's just that," Sokka muttered, his tone picking up speed, "with everything that happened, and stuff, I just thought maybe we should talk about it, 'cuz it's been a couple days now, and it's been, like, super awkward, and I thought now might be a good time...-?"

"Yea. Now's a good time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Yah Toi' means 'Wild Rabbit.'


	29. Like a Big Brother

The grass was cool and dry beneath her feet, the air crisp and clean. It was evening and the sun must have been set by now with how chilly everything was getting. The two had hardly said a word for some time now, seeming to be waiting until they could sit some place quiet. Ba Sing Se was busier than usual during this particular evening - no doubt a result of Zuko and representatives from the Fire Nation being in town seeking to make amends.

At one point Sokka had seen some rich citizen carrying around a bizarre canine Sokka called a 'monkey-dog.' He had become way more elated than one should ever be at such sight, and Toph had explained that it was a poodle-monkey. After making much ado about proving the Avatar wrong - right in front of the pet's owner - Toph couldn't help but find it amusing that Sokka hadn't actually _known_ that the creature existed, and that his spiel at Aang was just a bluff. Placing his bets on guesses was like Sokka, all right. Some of that must have rubbed off on her all this time, given how she had just made a leap and kissed him out of the blue days before.

They had trailed off the paths and found themselves walking alongside a small river that trickled through town.

Sokka grunted, his weight shifting around in what Toph presumed to be some stretches. He sat himself down at the water's edge. Toph followed his lead, her insides squirming with fear.

Can I do this? Is everything going to be all right? Aw, man...Things are never going to be the same, are they? Ugh, this sucks so much...No, wait. I have to stop worrying. I can do this. Yea. It'll be fine. Don't you think, Yah Toi?

"Uh..." Sokka coughed during a stalling pause. "Nice night out."

"Yea."

"Sure is pretty tonight, huh?"

"Yep."

"Er...Sorry-"

"Wait, I mean...Uh, if you _say_ it is, then...I'm sure it is."

"Right. 'Cuz...Yea."

"Mm-hm. The whole...'me being blind' thing."

"Uh-huh."

_Ulg,_ so awkward. I'm just gonna do it.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Sokka, I-"

"No, I didn't mean to-"

"-what I did was outta line-"

"-shouldn't have reacted like that-"

"-don't know what I was _thinking_ -"

"-know I hurt your feelings, so-"

"I'm sorry."  
"I'm sorry."

Toph turned her face away, drumming her fingers on her crossed legs.

"W-well...I guess it's kinda pointless by now," Toph grumbled sheepishly, "but I...I should probably tell you that...I _like_ you."

"Yea, I, uh...figured that one out," Sokka winced. "How-um...How long...-?"

"Ever since Serpent's Pass."

"Oh. Wow. That's...that's longer than I thought."

"When Suki showed up, it made you start acting different, and...I dunno." She shrugged with a sigh. "Looking back, it made me jealous. I can't think of any other reason I would be aside from... _that._ And then the more I thought about it, the more I had to try to convince myself it _wasn't_ like that...but, obviously, it was."

"Right. Mm. That makes sense."

"Um...But-but obviously it doesn't...really matter, I mean," a timid laugh escaped, "not like it means anything at _this_ point."

"Toph, you-"

"'Cuz I know you don't feel the same way. So...yea. Guess I just gotta...ya know. Get over it."

"Um, w-well, I mean...Y-yea," Sokka fumbled around for words, admitting the accuracy of her plan. "But it doesn't have to mean things can't be like before."

"Things _aren't_ like before, Sokka," Toph huffed. "I messed everything up."

Sokka sighed, and she could feel his weight hunching over as he considered what to say next.

"Toph, things might be a bit messy right now, sure." _Scoofffff._ "But come on, stop being a drama queen about it," he teased, "It's not your style." His dry, rough hand rubbed against her shoulder, pressing in hard. Something about his gesture and his humor on top of her wobbly emotional state tipped everything over and tears started drizzling out. She hurriedly wiped them away in sloppy hand strokes.

"Whoa, hey," Sokka soothed quietly, extended his opposing arm around her.

"It sucks," Toph growled, trying to keep herself calm so as not to sniffle all over. "I hate feeling this way."

"I get ya," Sokka murmured, hugging her tight. "But it's OK, Toph. We'll work through this. I'm not just gonna ditch you 'cuz of a little weirdness."

"OK," Toph choked out with a deep, rasping breath.

"This sorta stuff doesn't always work out the way we want it, that's all."

Right, yea. I know that. I can deal with it if I know he's going to stick with me.

"Love is like Boomerang, Toph."

"Huh?"

"It...it doesn't _always_ come back," Sokka mused.

"Oh...Guess so," Toph moaned.

"Like with The Duke."

"Wh-? Who _is_ this guy?" Toph grumbled, flabbergasted, pulling herself free from Sokka's grip. There was that name again.

"The Duke," Sokka reiterated. "Ya know, that kid from that gang?"

"Yeeeaaa, Aang and Katara seemed to think there was something between us?"

"You don't _remember_ him?"

"Uhh, _no?_ "

"Heh, well...I bet he remembers _you_."

"So this kid had a crush on _me,_ is what you're saying?"

"He _totally_ did," Sokka assured, clearly amused. "He was always trying to make sure you were comfortable the whole time and kept asking questions about who you were and where you came from and everything. He definitely liked you."

"Oh," Toph mumbled with a shug. While somewhat comparable, she felt the situation was very different. They hardly knew each other - then again, this fact was pretty much _her_ fault.

"I don't blame him," Sokka slyly added with a nudging fist into her shoulder. "You _are_ cute and all. And tough and strong - but you're a good kid underneath. You're a catch, all right."

A weak smile washed onto Toph's face. It was bittersweet, finally hearing Sokka express that she was pretty, but knowing that her feelings were not reciprocated. He was trying to make her feel better but she felt confident he wasn't just saying this for the sake of it.

"Aang says my eyes are like the moon," Toph boasted in a bashful brag. She was trying to come off as arrogant and dismissive but somehow that failed.

"Mm," came an oddly pensive hum from Sokka. His heartbeat was all funny.

Did I say something wrong? What's the deal all of a sudden?

Confused by his sudden dip in mood, Toph palmed sticky tears from her cheeks and contemplated what to say next. Sokka beat her to it.

"Hey, Toph," he said quietly, solemnly - it was unnerving. "I ever tell you about Yue?"

Yue? Yue, Yue...Ummmm...That was must be a person, right? Not ringing any bells. C'mon, _think,_ this sounds like a big deal _._ Urgh. Nope. Nothing.

"I...I don't think so," Toph said out of the corner of her mouth, keeping her face pointed in his direction to express her full attention. Sokka slowly inhaled, then dispelled air in a long, drawling sigh. Whatever this was, it was deep stuff.

"Princess Yue," Sokka murmured drearily. "She's a Spirit of the moon."

Oh, great. More Spirits again. Hopefully one isn't stuck in _his_ head.

"OK," said Toph with a careful shrug. "What about her?"

"We fell in love," Sokka bluntly explained.  
Uhhh. Right. 'Cuz _that_ seems so likely.

"Ya see, she used to be the princess of the Northern Water Tribe."  
Wait, whaa-?

"Like...a _human_ princess?"

Sokka chuckled, his body leaned back, head pointed up.

"Very human," he insisted. "She was flesh and blood, just like you and me."

"And you...fell in love?"

"Don't get me wrong," Sokka precluded hastily, "We didn't know each other long, but...I'm tellin' ya, we had something special, all right."

Oh, boy. Geez. This wasn't going anywhere good, was it?

"What happened?" Toph asked with melancholic curiosity.  
Nothing good, that's for sure.

"She, uh...she sacrificed her life to save the moon," Sokka answered, voice trembling. "When she was a baby, the moon spirit lent itself to her body - and when the moon was in trouble she had to give her life to keep the world balanced."

Whoa. That sounded like pretty deep, harsh stuff. No wonder he was so upset about it. Oh, wow - it all came together. Every time any one talked about the moon, Sokka would get depressed, and it always seemed like Aang and Katara would try to take his mind of off _something._ This was what that whole deal was about. Toph was a little irked no one had explained it to her, but then again, it was Sokka's business and obviously it was hard for him to talk about it.

"That's...that _sucks_."

"Tell me about it."

"Being the moon's boyfriend coulda been kinda cool."

"Meh. I don't do long distance very well."

"I'm sorry," Toph gently expressed, patting his arm cautiously.

"So am I." Sokka grasped her wrist and squeezed appreciatively before shifting his body to face her. "But it's all right. It's in the past. That was just...not meant to be, ya know?"

"You have...uh...you've got Suki now," Toph concluded.

"Right," Sokka acknowledged, warmth returning to his voice. "I do. And I intend to hold onto that fact. I had to let myself let go of my feelings for Yue, because all they were doing was...making me feel awful inside."

Just like everyone's been saying. I have to let it go or it'll keep hurting me.

"And the longer I held onto those feelings, the more damage I was doing to myself, to Suki...and if Yue watches over us, it...probably hurt her, too - seeing me beating myself up about it."

"Yea." Toph sighed and brushed her bangs off of her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"That was _really_ tough for me, Toph. The only thing in my life that's been that hard was losing my mom."

"You must've really cared about her," Toph observed.

"I _did._ I...I was _so sure_ that we would be together. But...-"

"Destiny had other stuff in mind." Toph sniffed and wiped her nose. "And Destiny always gets what it wants," she reflected, remembering her conversation with Uncle Iroh.

"You said it," Sokka moaned. "But what I'm trying to say is that I _know_ you're hurting right now - the boy you like doesn't like you back, your parents...well..."

"My parents don't love me for who I really am."

"Yea."

"I get it," Toph decided. "I know. I need to...let all that stuff go. Because even though that sucks, I have you guys."

"Right."

"See? I'm not so stupid," she taunted with a smirk. "I can figure some of this out."

"Brilliant! Elementary, my Dear," Sokka taunted in his 'fancypants' voice. "So," he proceeded casually, "Seems like you learned a lot over the past coupla weeks, huh?"

"Worst. Field Trip. _Ever,_ " Toph whined, slapping Sokka on the shoulder. "This was all your idea."

"So you're complaining that you...have learned a lot?" Sokka prodded matter-of-factly.

"Er...well...Y-yea," she stumbled. "Yea, I am. Learning is annoying," she tartly informed, sticking up her chin in defiance. "It's really exhausting. This whole trip has felt like one huge school lesson."

"School of hard knocks, right?"

"Totally."

"Good. You needed some hard knocks." _Thunk-thunk-thunk,_ he rapped his knuckles onto her skull and she pushed him away with a giggle. "Only way to get through that thick skull of yours!"

"It got through all right," Toph chuckled. "No thanks to _you._ "

"Hey, since when was it _my_ responsibility to teach you junk?"

"I thought I'm part of your family now!" Toph insisted. "You're my big brother. That's a lot of responsibility."

"Oh, _geez,_ you're right," Sokka wailed. "Now I have _two_ little sisters. Spirits, _one_ was bad enough!"

"That's right, and you'd better take your job seriously or I'll...-"

"You'll _what?_ "

"I'll take all your stupid joke-cooking recipes and...make a mud pie."

"That...that's not even _funny_. Was that supposed to be funny?"

"Shut up!" _Whamp._

"I'm just _saying,_ you've been learning from the Sarcasm Sifu. I expect more from my star pupil."

"I'm your star pupil now, huh?"

"Well, it can't be _Aang,_ now can it? That traitor steals my jokes from under my nose!"

"The granite thing? That was a horrible joke. He did you a _favor."_

"You wanna be my student, or not?"

"Like I _need_ a teacher!"

" _Mud pie?_ Come on. You need some work, grasshopper." He tugged her side and pulled her over, leaning her into his lap as he scraped her skull.

"Ow-hey-quittit!" she fussed, squirming around in a flurry. She finally pressed her palm into the ground and rolled a wave of earth out, shoving Sokka just out of arm's length.

"You're breaking the rules here, Toph," Sokka flatly decreed. "Tch, tch tch," he clicked his tongue in jest. "Big brothers have two jobs: they look after their little sisters and protect them, and then when there's no danger they get to mericilessly pick on them. You can't have one without the other."

"I beg to disagree," Toph mischievously defied, stretching out and sprawling her stomach into the grass. She sniffed in its scent, clutching at blades between her hands like a cat paws at one's leg.

She felt him crawl back over to her after a few moments of blissful silence, and she rose to her knees, flopped herself into his lap, and rolled over, crossing her arms behind her neck and pointing her face up at the night sky - that mystical entity she would never be able to sense. And despite how nice it would be to see something like stars in the sky, it was OK that Toph couldn't. She could accept that. She could accept not having all of these other things that had been stressing her out quite especially over the past couple of weeks, because she had everything she needed - everything she had found herself wanting merely one year ago: freedom to be true to herself, and a family who appreciated her for that self.

Sokka scratched her head therapeutically.

"Whether you let me or not," he warmly comforted, "I'm always gonna be looking out for you, Toph."

"All right," she beamed. "I guess that's OK."

"Stuff can get awkward. But I'll still be around for ya. You could be stuck in a sea of _awkward turtle-ducks_ and I'd still come bail you out, 'cuz I love you, Kiddo. Don't you forget it."

"Love you, too, Sokka."

He's always going to be there for me. Am I always going to be there for Sokka? He's like my big brother. Of course I will. I promise.


	30. That Lights My Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -FIN-

A/N: Here we are, folks. The end of a three-month journey. A lot can change in a short period of time. I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it. If you've been with me this whole time but haven't taken a moment to share your thoughts, I implore you to do so: it's your support that has kept me stuck to this project so diligently. Couldn't have done it without you. If you enjoyed this tale then please join me as I start a new journey with The Last Airbender cast: What I Learned at SRU - yes, it's a college AU. Yes, I intend to give it my best and hopefully even those who don't like AUs will enjoy it.

I incorporate some tunes in here - feel free to check them out beforehand if you wish, addresses are at the end. Once again, thanks for everyone's support. Enjoy the end.

The smells of many cups of tea, the sound of music, and the chattering of a crowd grew near - the Jasmine Dragon was just up a set of stone stairs before them. Toph slowed to a stop.

"So, Meathead," she called.

"Yea?" He paused, back-stepping to her side.

Toph fished around in her pocket nervously, fingering the smooth bone piece she had carved back at the South Pole.

"Now that we're...cool, and everything. There was something I wanted to give to you."

She carefully removed the intricately crafted jewelry from her pocket and timidly pressed it into the air before Sokka. He tenderly accepted it, and she could sense him surveying it in front of his face.

"Wow," he murmured. "Did you make this?"

"Yea," Toph declared, swelling with pride at his impressed tone. "I made it from some bone, using the meteor rock you gave me."

"That's pretty spiffy, Kiddo." He slipped it around his right hand's middle finger. Thankfully, it seemed to fit just fine.

"It's to remind you that you have a little sister to keep your eye on," Toph explained. "Since she can't keep an eye on herself," she added with a sly smirk.

"Haha. I won't forget," Sokka assured. "Hey, this goes with my necklace pretty well, actually."

"What can I say? I'm so good at being blind I have a sense of fashion that's greater than yours."

"I'll say." He ruffled her bangs and slapped her on the back, easing her to follow him to the tea shop. "You're just all about the jewelry these days, huh? Bracelet, necklace, anklet, making me a ring. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were starting to act more like a girl."

"Then it's a good thing you know better," Toph teased, her face pink from his remark - he was correct, though, wasn't he?

As they approached the entrance, the thick crowd Toph had been dreading engulfed them. Thankfully, things were a bit less crowded inside, she could tell, but they had to wade through the masses first. Sokka gripped her wrist tightly as they pushed through, her senses overloaded from all the heartbeats, talking, chinaware clattering, sipping of tea, laughing...it was so much she couldn't make out the music from within very clearly. By the time they'd wormed their way in the playing had stopped.

"Hey! Sokka! Toph!" Aang's voice cut through the clamor like a knife, his distinctive voice clear to Toph's ears. Toph waved him arm up in the air at the direction of the voice, his heartbeat somewhat tricky to ascertain in the busy shop. Before she knew it they had reached their table near the back of the store, and Toph could more easily distinguish some familiar figures - Zuko and Jin were standing beside Iroh and Zuko' girlfriend, seeming to be having a light hearted discussion.

"How are you doing, Toph?" Katara wondered from one seat to the right.

"A lot better," Toph piped out, her mouth drooling at the many delightful scents enveloping her. She could practically sense all of their eyes on her, and her face was warm with embarrassment. They all knew what had just happened, she was sure.

"So where's this magical singing Fire Lord I've been hearing about?" Sokka demanded, slapping his palm on the table.

"They're taking a break," Suki explained. "Calm down, unbeliever."

"He's actually not bad," Katara complimented in earnest. "I'm kind of surprised." She poked Toph on the shoulder. "Hey, Toph, you thirsty?"

Toph nodded vigorously, the idea of Lemon Balm tea taunting her tongue.

"C'mon, let's go get you some tea and say hi to everyone," Katara offered, prodding her on the back. Stohhfff. She skidded her chair out as she rose, and Toph followed her lead. Something told her Katara had something on her mind and her cleared out head was quite open to finding out what it was. "We'll be back," she told the group before guiding Toph over to their comrades. For the first time in as long as she could, Toph was overcome with a sense of satisfied compliance - being led around by the hand by her older siblings, not due to any lack of her own ability but by their desire to take her with them.

"Hello, there, Katara," Iroh's distinct voice crackled. "And hello, Niece."

"Hi, Iroh," Katara warmly replied. Toph found it sufficient to wave her arm in the air in their direction.

"Katara, it's good to see you," Zuko's girlfriend rasped out, her normally chilled voice emenating heat like fading embers. The two girls hugged, and Toph pressed the side of her head into Iroh's stomach as she stretched her arms around his front side.

"How is everything going, Lord Zuko?" Katara coyly questioned, presenting his new title with an amused laugh. Another hug, and the maturing boy chuckled.

"Not entirely according to plan," he confessed.

"Waha," Iroh belted out. "You'd best get used to that, Nephew."

"Don't I know it," Zuko chuckled back.

"Have you been served yet?" Mai wondered.

"Actually, Toph and my brother just got here, we were wondering if you could make a black tea for Sokka and...-"

"Lemon Balm with a touch of mint," Jin finished knowingly.

"Of course," said Mai, making her way around the group. "I'll get that for you right now." She stopped to peck Zuko on the cheek as she passed. "You two keep playing your music," she encouraged. "You make a good team."

"Thanks," Jin replied. Toph read relief in her voice - relief that Mai seemed so comfortable with her proximity to Zuko. There was no jealously, no protectiveness, and it made Toph feel guilty for what she had been expressing toward Suki, especially without any claim to how he conducted himself.

"Glad you guys could make it," Zuko expressed gently to Katara.

"Of course." Taft, Katara nudged him on the arm. "Go get 'em, guys. You're doing great."

"We will," said Jin as they made their back to their instruments.

"How is our brave little warrior doing?" Iroh asked Toph.

"I'm doing," came her simple answer, accented with a deep breath and a shrug. "Pretty good, actually."

"Thanks so much for looking after her," Katara lauded.

"It was no trouble at all," testified the wise old guru. "I have a certain obligation to look after my niece, don't you think?" Toph beamed, hands grasping her hips with pride.

"Our family does take care of its own," Katara certified, running her hand across Toph's head.

"Well, I do hope you all enjoy your stay," Iroh insisted. "Now, if you will excuse me, I believe my nephew is about to start performing again."

"We'll see you later, Iroh," Toph assured with a grin, casting her arm up in a farewell wave as she spun around and followed Katara. They followed Mai to where the tea was being brewed and awaited it patiently.

"It'll be one moment here," Mai affirmed.

Katara knelt down beside Toph and spoke quietly into her ear.

"So you and Sokka worked everything out?"

"Sure did," Toph proudly confirmed.

"I'm so glad to hear that." Katara paused for a moment before continuing. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you."

"What's up?"

"I thought it might help you feel better about everything," Katara explained. Her tone tickled Toph's heart with its joy and affection. "You can't tell, because you can't see, but...I can."

"What can you see?" Toph asked, perplexed.

"The way Sokka looks at you, Toph - there's just something in his eyes when he's with you. It took me a long time to figure out, but I finally realized that the way he looks at you...there's only one other person in the world he looks at the same way."

"Who?" Toph wondered, baffled.

"Me," Katara gleefully specified.

"You?"

"His sister."

While this idea had already been established pretty clearly, hearing Katara explain it in this way - not just through words, but through action, through something she couldn't detect - somehow made her appreciate this truth even more. Sokka grew up with Katara - flesh and blood siblings. And Sokka thought of her, Toph, inthe exact same way, with the same care and respect, after mere months of being acquainted. And she knew it wasn't just Sokka, Katara and Aang - and maybe even Suki, with time - all felt this way. What more could she ask for, really?

"Thanks for telling me, Katara. That..." She mumbled out the rest. "That kinda means a lot."

"I'm kinda glad to hear it."

"Tea's done," Mai announced. Katara Took both mugs, and Toph reached out her arm to accept hers, to which Katara obliged.

Treading lightly, Toph paid heed to Jin and Zuko on her way back.

"We'd like to dedicate this next song to the man of the hour," Jin declared loudly. "Our generous host tonight and father to us all: we'd be lost without you, Uncle Iroh."

Toph honed in on the man of honor's body and could detect his heart elevate with bashful joy. Her ears were suddenly filled with the pleasures of guitar strings vibrating in rhythm: strum-hum-hmmm, strumma-strum-hm, strum-hum-hmmm, strumma-strum-hm. Bongo drums supported the guitar with steady, confident strides: bom-bok-tah, bottatotta-bum, bom-bok-tah, bottatotta-bum.

A familiar raspy voice rang out clearly, wrapped in an alien elegance.

"~I am just a tired man - the weight of the world on my should-ers-~  
~I am just a sad man - with the tears of a nation in my- eyes-~  
~I am just trying to find my lost soul and follow- you-~"

Zuko sang with an earnest sincerity that Toph had never picked up on during any occasion in which they had spoken. As he proceeded into the chorus, Jin harmonized backup, her voice soulful with a bit of a twang.

"~Follow you,~ 'cuz  
~every time I fall down, you pick me up again~"  
"~eve-ry-time- you pick- me- up-~"

"~And every time I come apart you put me together again~"  
"~And eve-ry-time- put me- to-ge-ther-~"

"~And every time I mess things up, you clean me up a-gain-~"  
"~And eve-ry-time- clean- me- up- a-gain-~"

Jin took up the second verse, and Toph had realized that Katara had already reached the table while she had been dawdling behind, meserized by the song, swept up by the gratitude expressed in its lyrics.

"~I am just a simple girl, with a message to pro-claim-~  
~I am just a kindred soul, and I'm searching for the- flame-~  
~I am just a soldier now, and I'm marching in your- name-~  
Your name, 'cuz-"

"~every time I fall down, you pick me up again~"  
"~eve-ry-time- you pick- me- up-~"

"~And every time I come undone you put me together again~"  
"~And eve-ry-time- put me- to-ge-ther-~"

"~And every time I mess things up, you clean me up a-gain-~"  
"~And eve-ry-time- clean- me- up- a-gain-~"

Transported by the tune, Toph's attention was too divided to notice her misstep until it was too late: she tripped over someone's boot and was flung face first to the floor no more than two feet from her chair. Had she been prepared for it, she was certain she could have prevented the teacup and saucer from smashing on the floor, but the she had not been prepared, and ended up on her knees, hot tea splashed all around her. She could hear the commotion of everyone at her table shove their chairs out and rise at the concern of her safety. Strange but comforting.

"Goodness, are you all right?" murmured the stranger whose heel she just vaulted herself around.

"I'm fine. Sorry," she sheepishly mumbled to the stranger.

"Toph," Sokka cried out, immediately at her side. His slender arm was immediately around her shoulder, and his opposing hand eased her up. "I gotcha, Rocky."

"~Every time I fall down, you pick me up again~"

Sokka smacked her on the back and chuckled at her accident.

"Are you OK?" Aang checked as she stepped through sticky, warm liquid. Aang took her hand and guided her out of the sloppy tea puddle. "You oughtta take it easy."

"~And every time I come apart you put me together again~"

"Come here, Hun," Katara grunted, the swirling sounds of waterbending surrounding Toph as the watery accident and all traces of it on Toph's body were swiped away and splashed into a dirty mug on their table. Katara kissed Toph on the forehead and giggled. "Getting a little too excited about your tea, huh?"

"~And every time I mess things up, you clean me up a-gain-~"

"Thanks, guys," Toph sighed, scratching the back of her head after she seated herself at the table once again.

"Aw," Suki whimpered with sympathy, "All that and no tea. You want me to go get you more?"

"No, it's OK, I'm,-" But Suki had already taken off. "Thanks," Toph called out awkwardly. The music had died down to an instrumental romp that served as a delightful background to their...sudden lack of conversation.

"Seriously, guys," Toph insisted. "I'm totally fine."

"We know," Katara chuckled, rubbing her shoulder tenderly. "You really are totally fine for a change, aren't you?"

"All right, everyone!" cried out Jin from the corner of the shop. "This next one was a request from a friend of ours. She wanted to dedicate this one to her family." A gentle thrummm rang out from Jin's guitar and she elaborated.

"She wants her brothers and her sister to know that even though she can't see light in the darkness, you guys show her what light feels like."

Katara's hand squeezed around Toph's bicep and she had a feeling Jin had cast some look their way to indicate exactly who this was directed toward.

The guitar plucks trickled like a gentle tributary through Toph's ears, washing over her like water. Jin's streetwise singing came to the forefront with the streaming guitar singing backup.

~The pain of this world is ever present, and the misery and doubt have been sustained.~  
~I'll never leave your side, my friends, for you hold me in yours arms.~  
~And when the cold wind blows, I'll look for you in the dark~  
~For you are the Lighthouse, and you are the Candle~  
~That lights my way tonight.~

As the song proceeded through its verses, Suki returned with more tea that was eagerly inhaled and the group engaged themselves in the first conversation lacking in any kind of stress or sorrow in weeks. When Toph's mind diverted from the music to the topic at hand, she recalled the sword dueling contest Sokka had been invited to join.

"I could totally take 'em," Sokka boasted.

"I thought you said you said you needed a new sword?" Toph taunted.

"W-well, sure, but...-"

"I'll bet Toph could help you build a great new sword!" Aang proposed.

"Whoa, yea!" Toph cried out with jubilant determination. "Yea, I could metalbend you a freakin' sweet sword!"

"Hm," Sokka contemplated. "Can you make the hilt look like dragon wings?"

"Pff, obviously."

"Oh, oh, and can we inscribe, like, ancient runes on it?"

"Uh, sure, I gu-"

"Ohhhh, oh oh! And give it, like, a serrated edge to make it look so bad!"

"Thanks Aang," Toph sighed as Sokka burst out dramatized battle cries.

~And I say all the big words and I do all the wrong things~  
~And I come back to you each night~  
~To feel you holding my head as I weep- as I weep beneath these sheets~

"Do you think that's such a good idea, Sokka?" Suki teased. "You haven't been keeping up with your training lately."

"Maybe we should find a comet to taunt you into becoming a sword master before winter," Aang joked. "That sorta thing worked for me, right?"

"Oh, come on, it's only been a few weeks," Sokka hum-hawed with a snort.

"A lot can change in just a few weeks," Toph pointed out with a coy implication.

"It sure can," Katara agreed with a solemnly satisfied tone. She had been oddly quiet, but when Toph heard her humming the chorus by the end she figured out that her sister had been listening to the song with careful intent. Zuko chimed in with Jin during the final segment.

~The pain of this world is ever present~  
~And the misery and doubt have been sustained.~  
~I'll never leave your side, my friends  
~For you hold me in yours arms~  
~And when the cold wind blows~  
~I'll look for you in the dark~  
~For you are the Lighthouse~  
~And you are the Candle~  
~That lights my way tonight~

As the trickling guitar slowed, Toph rotated her wrist, swirling her rock bracelet across her arm. She tapped her foot and relished the clattering of her bone anklet. She rubbed her fingers across the smooth round jewel wrapped around her neck. She methodically rubbed her bare feet back and forth against the cool stone floor of the Jasmine Dragon, savoring the pulsing vibrations that rang clear through the crowd from her three favorite people in the world.

Ta-Thump. Ta-Thump.  
Th-tump. Th-tump.  
Thum-thump. Thum-thump.

~FIN~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worst Field Trip Ever was a story I wrote over two years ago. Since I finished it, I've been working on 'What I Learned at SRU,' my primary Avatar work. When that project is finished, I plan to go back to writing canon-based Avatar stuff with the project 'Esteemed.'
> 
> \---  
> To celebrate the end of this story and the beginning of another, here are a couple of tribute videos I made about Avatar: The Last Airbender:
> 
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1JP3klh4Cw - (Invaders Must Die)  
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4YgyzkVWyE - (You Are Loved)
> 
> To hear the original songs featured in this chapter, written and performed by my college pal Jesse Orton, check these out:
> 
> www.myspace.com/jesseorton - (Simple Man is the first song)  
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDOfbdI8B3U (The Lighthouse is the second song)


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